Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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Not running

I had a twinge of sadness when I turned on the news this morning and saw footage of the 5th annual Brooksie half marathon.  Runners were coming in, and the weather was perfect – cool and clear, leaves glowing in the early morning sunshine.   I trained for the first annual Brooksie (named after the deceased son of our county executive).  I over trained and ended up with a stress fracture in my foot that prevented me from running it.  And I haven’t run since.

Apparently time has gotten away from me.  I had no idea so many years have passed.  This is the 5th annual run.  That means I haven’t run in four years?  How can that be?  Four years?  No way!

I watch runners as I drive back and forth to work or to the grocery store.  I  think nostalgically of my own running days.  My running friends.  But then I don’t put the shoes on, don’t head out the door.  This weekend is a perfect example.  Both  mornings were beautiful.  Perfect.  Did not move from the sofa.

And then this morning, while sitting on the sofa, I read Heather’s blog, a post where she took us on her four mile run.  It looked so much like my own favorite neighborhood four mile route.  Sort of inspiring…don’t you think.  Should I head out?  Really?  Maybe not all four miles, not right away.

But still…


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Reality check

Katie and I went to school today.  We’re hoping to enter a Rally Trial at the end of October to start working for her advanced title.  Before we did our practice run this morning I put her in a down and walked the course with our instructor.  Ok.  Maybe a few things to worry about, but as I told Katie just before we begin…”if it goes wrong girl it will be your mama’s fault.”

Mama needs to learn to read better.

And it was.  I was so worried about whether I could send her over a jump while I stayed behind that I skipped two or three stations entirely!  Entirely!  Well that would be a NQ for sure. Plus I misread a sign and didn’t ask her to do a down.  At all.  Katie on the other hand did pretty much everything I asked, including correcting herself on one of her sits.

I myself learned to read when I was quite young.  Just saying Mama.

We’re going to try again at class next week.  Katie thinks I am a total goof.  To make it up to her when we got home we played a rousing game of frisbee.

You want THIS frisbee Mama?

Mostly she just got to run and run and run.

Let’s race! I win!

She’s napping now.  Nothing like a fun class, a good lunch and a good romp.  Yep…it’s a beautiful day in Sheltie land.

Nighty-night. (sigh)


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Katie time

I think we could all use a little Katie, no?  So this morning I tried to take a new photo of her for all of you.

I took a new picture this morning, truly I did.  But I can’t find where I uploaded it…and the photo archive on my computer is acting weird and I don’t have time to mess with it.   So I posted an old picture of her.  But she looks pretty much the same.

Just sleepier.


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Behind

I rise from bed before the alarm after a restless night.  I’ve dreamed what could be the dramatic first scene in a book filled with the terror of survival.  The idea for a book if I were an author.  But I don’t like those kinds of books, call them scary and rush through the worst descriptions of fear.

No time for Katie this morning, I’m behind.  A little belly rub as I wake her from sleep.  She trots to the guest room where I have hung today’s work clothes.  She hops on the bed hoping for a little nap.  No time baby, no time.  I am behind.

I’m behind.  Behind, behind, behind pounds in my head, pounds under the conscious efforts getting ready for work.  Behind.  I remember the details of my dream as I’m in the shower.  No time to think about the dream.  No time.  I’m behind.

A quick shower, no time to linger in the warm steamy water.  I’m behind.  Katie curls up on the rug.  She has time.  Drying off I am glad my hair curls whether I mess with it or not.  No time.

Last night’s rehearsal went poorly.  I need to practice.  “You are all adults.” the conductor said.  “We don’t have time to work out the wrong notes here”   There are only four rehearsals  until our concert.  We don’t have time.  I am behind.

Work is overwhelming.  Hundreds of emails, problems.  Short staffed. Cranky people including me.  No time to stretch, relax the shoulders, take a deep breath.  I worked on Sunday and now I am behind.   I think of the problems I left on my desk as I rushed to band last night.  If I just move faster maybe I’ll be less behind.

I strap time on my wrist this morning and think that no one wears a watch anymore.   I can’t stop time.  It is streaking past me, falling into the abyss of the future.   I don’t know if I am the White Rabbit or Alice.

But I know that I’m behind.


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Are you sure it’s the end of summer?

Scott asked us to define the end of summer in photos.  What defines the end of summer for each of us?  You can join the fun because this assignment isn’t due until Wednesday at midnight.  Tell us what means the end of summer to you!  Meanwhile, come along and see my own transition to fall.   (Remember to click on the photos to see more detail.)

When I see that first leaf changing  on an otherwise green tree I usually rationalize that the tree is sick.  Or the leaf change is early because of the drought.  It’s not possible that summer is beginning the slippery slide into fall.  Certainly not yet.

The first bits of red.

As the light changes, becoming lower in the late afternoon sky, I appreciate the intense color and try not to think about what it all might mean.

The last of summer’s sun.

When the first bit of goldenrod begins to nod along the road and the asters bloom in brilliant purple I can still convince myself that there are weeks of warm weather ahead.

Purple compliments the season.

And when, on my morning commute, I come across the first of these….

The big yellow.

….I still rationalize.  Some school districts start early.   Don’t they?

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But when I stopped at my local grocery store this week and the bins of watermelons had been replaced by a giant pile of these…

Getting ready for Halloween!

…well.  Even I have to admit that these indicate summer has fled.  Fall is here, it’s time to quit fooling myself.  Until next year.  Because I’ll just know the reason those trees  turned so soon is because of the drought.

I’m sure of it.

Say goodbye to summer.


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97 years young

We attended a surprise birthday party for husband’s aunt Saturday.  Many people from her building and her family showed up at a local restaurant to help her celebrate.

Yes, she was surprised.

The birthday girl.

There was Chinese food, good conversation, family updates, smiles and hugs.

And cake.  Decorated in pink of course.  It’s her favorite color.

No room for 97 candles.

It was a good day.


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Randomness

It’s been a crazy busy few weeks at work with no end in sight.  There’s been even more stress lately as we’re short staffed.  People are are sick, on vacation and loaned to another department.  Yet the volume continues.  I need to find a way to get through the day without being overwhelmed.  Without getting angry.  Without getting kink in  my neck.

Message to the young lady in the blue Ford tailgating me on my commute to band practice tonight:  There are four lanes of traffic.  We’re all going the same speed.  There’s a car in front of me, one on either side of me.  Where did you want me to go?  When I could I moved one lane to the right, just to get out from in front of you.  You zoomed up behind the next car.  We were all going 75.  Why do you need to go faster?  I had a really bad day at work but just because you’ve got some sort of death wish doesn’t mean I want to go with you.

Rehearsal tonight was grueling.  We’re still sight reading pieces while we figure out what we’ll play for the Halloween concert.  Some pretty strange stuff.  Some really difficult stuff.  Some strange and difficult stuff.  Two hours nonstop.  At 8:50 p.m. the conductor stopped and started talking about the season concert dates.  We figured we were done and began to relax.  Then with only a few minutes left she asked us to read one more piece.  And as we were sighing and pulling the piece out of our folders she said “You may  have noticed that this arrangement is written a half step lower than the original composition.”  My stand mate and I both said sarcastically and at the exact same time – “Yea, we noticed that.” and then we both looked at each other and burst out laughing.  We laughed so hard that we were crying.  We laughed so hard that we missed the first 16 bars of the piece of music.  We giggled through the whole thing.  It wasn’t even that funny.  Guess you had to be there.

After a long day and a bad commute, a exhausting rehearsal, it was good to end the day with laughter.

Yes it was.


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Letting summer go

Scott, over at Views Infinitum, has posted a photo challenge – to capture the end of summer.  Or at least what represents the end of summer to each of us.

I’ll be keeping my eyes open to see what I might find.  For now, enjoy some tomatoes from my garden.  Now that it’s mid September the plants have decided to hand over a bit of goodness.

Garden bounty

Seems they always wait until the last minute.  Tomato plants are fickle that way.