Heard on the radio this morning Fergie singing “Big Girls Don’t Cry” which seemed especially relevant as I think of someone I love who has sadly accepted the end of her 21 year marriage. To her I say that it’s OK to recognize the difficulty of giving up the dream of a fairy tale ending, that it’s scary to face a new world alone, hard to figure out where you fit, or what you want to do. The whole thing seems insurmountable, but baby steps can get you through. Like running a marathon, never never think about the whole, just concentrate on what has to happen to get through the mile you’re in. Eventually you’ll have the satisfaction of reaching a goal, one that you set for yourself, rather than one set for you. And that makes it even sweeter.

Meanwhile, partial lyrics from the song, which could be sung from her heart today:

And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But I’ve got to get a move on with my life

It’s time to be a big girl now

And big girls don’t cry

The path that I’m walkin’, I must go alone

I must take the baby steps till I’m full grown.

Fairy tales don’t always have a happy ending, do they?

And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay.

-written by Ferguson, Stacy, Gad, Tobias

Much love to you, you know who you are.