Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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One day at a time

Every day is a new day. Each morning, as the sun comes up gently warming my room I wonder what the day will bring. Our little family, Penny, husband and I, are working together to get through each day while noticing the beautiful things as well as the daily trials.

The sun comes up on a new day.

Friday I somehow strained a sciatic nerve in my right leg. I was fine most of the day, running with the dog at the park, in and out of the car while running errands. I was fine until suddenly I wasn’t.

A great day at a local park.

At the drug store as I got out of the car I suddenly felt excruciating pain shoot up my leg. I stood still for a moment, hoping it would subside. It didn’t. I hobbled into the drug store, did my business and hobbled back to the car. At home I could barely get up the two front steps. Saturday I stayed in my recliner, napping and groaning.

Mom…are we going to nap all day?

The biggest problem we had to deal with was taking Penny out. Walking with her in the yard on uneven turf was so painful for me. And she’s been asking to go out a lot lately while not necessarily doing anything once we get outside.

I need to go out, mom. Now.

I took her out four times in the morning, each an agony for me, and she didn’t do anything but wander around sniffing. My husband tried taking her out, using his walker. It was his first time to take her for a walk since he was discharged from the hospital almost two weeks ago.

She didn’t do anything, though they shuffled down to the stop sign and back. We decided if she didn’t have to go she didn’t have to go. She had two parents and neither in any shape to take care of her.

It’s not my fault.

Later in the day Pen and I managed a short walk along the pond across the street. She still didn’t do anything, but I got a few pretty shots with my phone. And that made me smile.

A beautiful spring day.

Today I feel 80% better, and I know I’ll be able to take her out, maybe even for a real walk up the road. I hope she decides to do her jobs while we’re out there.

In bloom.

Getting old is not for the faint of heart. It’s hard, physically and mentally. It would be so easy to slide into the dark place we hold in the back of our minds. Focusing on getting through today and not thinking about tomorrow too much is my secret approach to today and every day going forward.

Everywhere you look, something is beautiful.

Getting through each day. That’s our plan. So far it’s working.

Today’s pretty thing, mom! (me, right?!)


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A forced vacation!

Penny here! Boy I thought I’d never get back online and all of my fans would wonder forever what happened to me! Cause you know a little bit about the adventures my folks have been on, but I’m sure you were worried about me too. Right? Right???

You WERE worried, right?

Well at first mom and dad figured since I’m a big girl I could stay at home alone and mom would get home often enough to walk me and more importantly feed me. But once they were fully immersed in their adventure they realized they needed help, so one of our nice neighbors, Mr. Mike, came to the house and took me for walks.

He did that all weekend. I was cool with that cause I like Mr. Mike, and because sometimes he brought his dog Oliver along. Oliver and I are in love. (Don’t tell Oliver, but I have lots of boyfriends that I’m in love with.)

Then on Monday mom took me to go see my dog mom, Vivian, and her bestie Olivia, and my niece Sara and my mama S!

I can’t wait to see everybody!

I just love visiting there, Sarah and I play nonstop. Mom says I instigate a lot of the play and that I’m a little stinker but mama S. says I’m a perfect little girl who fits right in.

I don’t think my mom is fooled.

That’s my dog mom, Vivian, on the left and my niece Sarah on the right!

I was happy to be there, but then I turned around and my mom was gone! I couldn’t find her anywhere! And even though I love to visit I still want my mom. I’d wait by the door every evening hoping mom would come get me.

I was there all week and over another weekend and half way through the next week! Heck, when Mom finally decided she’d come get me I’d almost forgotten about her.

At the dog park I told those big dogs off. Cause they were on the other side of the fence.

Still, I was glad to be going home and so was a little confused when we stopped at a dog park and mom let me run and run and run. She said she wanted me to get all the antsy out of my system cause I was going on another adventure.

I like to contemplate life while I’m exploring.

And I ended up at my kennel! What the heck mom! I hadn’t even seen daddy yet! But it’s a nice kennel and I don’t mind being there. I followed the girl to the back without even looking at mom.

I do that cause I know it hurts her feelings.

Whatever, mother.

I should have been a bit more compassionate because mom says she felt terrible. But daddy was coming home from the hospital and he needed some time to get stronger before I was jumping all over him, so I had to stay at the kennel for four nights!

And finally, FINALLY, today mom came and got me and I was soooo excited that I barked and barked at her in the car and you know what she did?

I’m back at my park. Wonder what mom has up her sleeve this time?!

She stopped at the dog park and let me run and run and run until I wore myself out and then she took me home to see daddy who was very happy that everybody was finally at home.

I love to run, especially to mom who always has a treat!

And now we’re all going to get some sleep. I promised mom not to wake them up too early tomorrow morning. I hope I can keep that promise.

Mom really, REALLY hopes so too.


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Creativity where you can find it

For the past few weeks our little family has been struggling with some health issues that resulted in 10 days in the hospital for my spouse. He’s back home now and the specific issue he went in for has been resolved, at least for now.

Our view

But ten days away from home is a lot. Ten days sleeping in a lumpy hospital bed, being woke every few hours by staff to check how he was doing, choosing meals from the same limited menu. Being stuck in one room. It was a lot.

The view at the end of the hall.

Ten days of tests and pokes and jabs and the endless, repetitive questions from a steady stream of doctors and residents and students and nurses and aids and social workers and nutritionists and physical therapists.

Sunset over a parking lot was the prettiest thing I saw in more than a week.

It was a lot for him and a lot for me too, sitting on the room’s plastic sofa that turns into a narrow bed if you decide to sleep over. I didn’t though maybe I should have a night or two.

A storm brewed just north of us.

My view out his window was of another wing of the hospital, the original parts of a building that was originally built in the 1920s. It’s been added on and added on and added on. Finding anything within it’s winding halls is a crap shoot.

Checking the roof after a big rain.

But the windows in the part we were in were big and I could watch the sky. Some days were particularly interesting as the Michigan spring changed by the hour.

A beautiful day for sky watching.

Other days the sky was a basic boring blue.

After a wet spring it’s hard to be mad at a blue sky.

I told him I should have studied weather in school, I am so fascinated, and always have been, in watching the sky as it and the light changed.

Different textures

Hours of waiting between tests take a toll on everyone. And by the end of the stay I was seeing ducks where there were none.

Shy duck hides under the bed.

It was all a lesson, I suppose, in finding something interesting to photograph no matter where you are. And even if you only have a cell phone camera.

But as photogenic as the experience turned out to be, we’d rather not visit this destination again.


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The muse is missing – random thoughts

I haven’t felt photographically inspired for a long time. Except for my birds, mostly here at home, I haven’t felt like following my muse. It all just felt like too much work and my world right now is feeling pretty unsettled with no room for wandering around with a camera.

But yesterday a storm front sent clouds racing across the sky. I happened to be out running a short errand when I noticed the sky and for the first time in a long time I felt a spark.

Just a small spark, but for a moment I thought about turning around and grabbing the camera and heading out to look for interesting moments. Something lightened in my chest. And even though I knew I couldn’t take off exploring right then, I knew that someday I could. On the way home I stopped and grabbed a quick shot, using my phone, of our local nursery under the cloudy sky. It felt good.

And then this morning, at 6 a.m. I was walking in the front yard while Penny was looking for her perfect spot, when I noticed the half moon getting ready to set.

And I realized that there were 4 humans up there, closer to the moon than to earth. I watched the moon for awhile, feeling an excitement that I haven’t felt since we explored the moon decades ago when I was a kid.

I wasn’t so excited that I went and got my good camera and the tripod, that still seems like too much work, but I thought about it. My photography is gaining energy, and someday, maybe soon, I’ll be exploring with the camera again.

In the meantime the camera on the phone is pretty great, and the backyard isn’t bad either.


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My dog won’t let me chop garlic

I know that you probably have an idea of Penny and her, well let’s say, attitude. My husband and I were talking today about the cute little puppy she was just 3 years ago. All round and bouncy and silly.

Hey mom!

And what a beautiful adult she’s grown into…all attitude, always on guard, listening to everything. Still bouncy but with more edge, though silly too when she’s in the mood.

Have you pulled your daily sheltie permit yet?

One of the things she does not allow in her household is me chopping garlic.

I used to buy chopped garlic in a jar. Then we tried to eat vegan for awhile and I learned how to smash the fresh garlic bulb with the flat of my knife and then chop it up. It takes no time at all…and it’s fresh.

And then along came Penny.

I’m watching you, mother.

She doesn’t like loud, unexpected noises. Like a knife slamming on a garlic bulb. Or tinfoil being torn from the box. Or plates clicking on each other coming out of the dishwasher. Or someone sneezing.

She prohibits it all.

No noises allowed.

Today I was making potato soup. I tried my darndest to quietly press the knife into the garlic bulb. No slamming. No noise really. But when I began to slice the garlic she was instantly next to me barking hysterically.

She can, from standing still beside me, leap as high as my shoulder with seemingly little effort. Today it seemed she jumped even higher in her indignation. I put the knife down, picked her up and put her into her nearby pen . Where she complained loudly.

Got it??

I chopped the garlic and the potatoes and then let her out. It seemed necessary to remind her she doesn’t actually own the house. Or me.

Does she?


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Experimenting with flight

No, not my flight, though when I was young I did think I’d like to fly a plane, and when I was even younger I used to dream that I could fly like a bird.

This is the scene from the window and what I had to shoot around.

No, this morning I put some peanuts in the flat feeder, and that quickly brought in my merry band of noisy bluejays. I swear they sit up in the trees and wait for me to fill the feeders. They always arrive immediately and with great fanfare.

Trying to focus on the bird among the branches.

And while I was standing at the window, watching them come and go in the morning light, I realized I could try to capture their flight. They were much too busy hogging the peanuts to notice me.

He has 3 peanuts in his beak and more in his throat. But he’s not really in focus.

You need a very short shutter speed to stop those wings in mid-flight, at least 1/2000 per second. If there is sunlight that’s easier to accomplish.

Coming and going.

I took 84 images before the sun was hidden by the clouds of the latest incoming storm front. Out of that barely a handful are passable. But I learned a lot and some day I will try again.

My favorite image.

I’m sharing them with you now, because bluejays, no matter the fact they are obnoxious, are truly beautiful.

Beauty in motion.

Even if they are little pigs.


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Visitor

I haven’t seen one of these in my yard in years. But yesterday afternoon she arrived.

My first glimpse of this female pileated woodpecker.

And she wasn’t here very long, just checking out the stumps of trees we had to cut down.

She posed for me for an instant.

And then she was gone.

It’s just pure luck I happened to look outside while she was here. And that my camera was next to me when I did.

“I’m outta here!”