(Pantry reorganized…someone needs a real job.)
Category Archives: employment
Settling down
I met a woman once, not so long ago, who was expressing her unsettled feelings. I only met her a couple of times, but each time she was rapidly and intensely expressive about how she wished she had made different decisions, always anxious about whether or not something else might have been better. She described how she moved from job to job thinking the next thing would be the best, how she moved her family into a big house thinking that would be the best, her children into a private school wanting the best for them. How she had to take a different, higher paying job to pay for the all the decisions she had made and now how tired she was, stressed out and not at all sure that anything was best after all. That in reality her family had been the most happy in their small cozy home, kids in public school, she at a job she liked.
She reminds me of me. Internally, though I rarely express it aloud, I too wonder if living in a different place would be better, a different (or any right now!) job would make me happier, if living alone would be better for me than living with someone else. And yet I know from experience that when the work world was busy I wished it would slow down, and when it slowed down I worried that the work would never come back. I remember when I lived alone and wished there was someone else there. Why is it such a difficult thing to appreciate what we have right now while we have it? Why can’t we just be happy with what we have? Why must we wonder what it would be like if...
Yesterday I purchased a teapot. You’d be right to wonder what that has to do with being satisfied with life as it is. It’s just that I’ve wanted a teapot for a long time. A really long time. And last night while my husband and I were out shopping for other things we wandered by the teapots and actually stopped and picked one out. So now I have a little spot of color in my kitchen, and I’m sitting with a hot cup of tea watching the birds outside my window while fragrant meatloaf is baking in the oven.
I think for the moment I’ll learn from the lady with her frantically scattered fearful thoughts and just sit here enjoying what I have. I have beautiful birds outside, finches and chickadees and nuthatches, cardinals and a big woodpecker, titmice and sparrows. I have Katie asleep nearby and a husband off in the den. Dinner is in the oven. The sun is sort of shining. I don’t have to be anywhere tomorrow. And I’m reading a great book; “Night Gardening” by E. L. Swann.
I think I am content.
Learning to slow down
This week I was out shopping for a zippered sweatshirt to wear to doggie school. While I drove I was listening to public radio; such soothing and beautiful music! As I pulled into the parking lot a clarinet was playing a contemporary piece based on a 14th century hymn. It was absolutely stunning. I was sad that I had arrived at the parking lot because I wanted to hear the rest of the piece.
Then I had an epiphany.
There was no need for me to jump out of the car just because I had arrived at my destination. With no employment I was operating with no schedule and had the luxury of sitting in the car listening to the radio all afternoon if I wanted to. So I did.
And as I entered the store later I was assulted by ceiling high red Christmas trees and Madonna singing “Santa Baby.” Should have delayed reentry a bit longer.
Another mountain
The Miley Cyrus song struck home this week…”Always gonna be an uphill battle…Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose…” Though I’m not particularly a Miley fan, I thought it was an appropriate song to hear as I was driving home from work Monday. Because Monday night I got let go due to budget issues. Though it wasn’t a surprise, it still hurt. I got to work the rest of this week, but today was my last day at the library. Apparently it’s going to be an uphill battle for me to find the perfect place, to work the perfect job, to feel like I’m contributing in an environment I love. Just another mountain along the way.
I’ve been in management most of my career, and I’ve done my share of letting people go, but I have to say I’ve never been let go before. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing, and though I know I lost my job through no fault of my own, it still stings. So I’ll take the weekend to do a bit of healing, and Monday I’ll figure out what to do next. There’s a certain freedom that I haven’t felt for the past eleven months, and I think I’d like to enjoy that for a bit, but there’s also a sense of urgency hovering around the fringes of my mind that reminds me not to waste time or lose an opportunity that might lead me to that perfect Librarian position.
So for all you readers out there that enjoyed the library stories, well, you’ll have to settle for more stories about Katie. Or the weather or the fall colors or other contemplations. I’ll try to make those entertaining.
Meanwhile, as Miley says…”The struggles I’m facing, the chances I’m taking…sometimes might knock me down but I’m not breaking.”
And Katie says -“WELCOME HOME MOM! Wanna play?”
Here's Daisy
Essex and Deacon’s dad asked us to show you a picture of Daisy, our very first sheltie. She was such a good girl when I met her while dating my husband. She didn’t get on the furniture, sleep on the bed or bark too much. She loved to fetch the tennis ball for as long as you were willing to throw it. Then her daddy and I got married and she moved into my home. I spoiled her and by the time she died a year or so later she enjoyed snuggling on the bed with me whenever daddy wasn’t around. She also learned about people food at my wedding shower when guests thought she was cute. Poor girl, she was just getting used to being spoiled when she died of a blood illness. No sheltie of ours since has had any concept about staying off the furniture or the bed. Wonder why? LOL!
This is Daisy, running in our backyard shortly after we got married in 1990. I haven’t found many pictures of her, though in this one she’s smiling, like she always did when running around the yard.
Then there’s Katie. We’re still working on “roll over.” She will now do it while I’m slightly away from her. I don’t have to lure anymore. But she’s sneaky. While I was messing with the camera, trying to figure out how to make it convert to video, she got up on her hind legs and stole the rest of the “good” treats off of the desk. Guess she was tired of having to work for them! So far I have a few fuzzy still photos of her rolling over. If I figure out how to use the video, then figure out how to upload it, you’ll see the trick next Tricky-T day!
To do list
I have a whole day off, no work, no previous commitments. It’s been awhile so I have a few things I need to get done today. Here’s the list:
- Go for a run. It’s been too long since my last attempt and if you don’t keep up you have to start over …again and again.
- Make some bread. I have a cookbook from my library with some great bread receipes in it and a whole new concept about storing unbaked bread dough so that you can bake bread every evening if you wanted fresh for dinner. The book will be due before I ever get to this unless I put it on “THE LIST.”
- Wrap a shower gift. The wedding shower is tomorrow. I purchased the gift weeks ago but it sits unwrapped. I need a card too. Darn. That means a trip to a store somewhere. What was I thinking when I got the gift? That I’d use a marker and just write her (and my) name on the box?
- Vacuum. Have dog. And husband. Haven’t vacuumed in maybe three weeks. Enough said.
- Laundry. See above.
- Finish reading “Reliable Wife” by Robert Goolrick. It’s a very good book and it was due back to the library two days ago. I’m on page 169 of a 290 page book. Being a librarian means you have no time to read all the good books you see coming and going. It’s a job hazard.
- Take the dog to the park. She’s already whining and it’s just barely 7:00 a.m. Obviously she hasn’t read “THE LIST” yet.
- Help husband dig up the roots to a tree he removed so that we can plant something there that doesn’t have suckers that grow up through everything. I’m hoping it rains because I don’t have time.
- Weed, especially the vegetable garden. My little stubby beans are being overrun by non-vegetable matter.
- Update the resume and write a cover letter for a librarian position that is 59 miles away. It’s become apparent that I will be on lay off, maybe next week, maybe the end of summer, certainly prior to the end of the fiscal year this fall. So it’s time to start looking again. Maybe I should do this first. Well. Right after the run.
Katie girl, you better hang on tight, Mama’s going to be moving fast today!
Is it the worst of times? Or the best of times?
Today General Motors filed for bankruptcy. We’ve known this was inevitable for months, but still held out delusional hope. Living with the uncertainty has been rough, trying to figure out all the possibilities, what each might mean to us, which permutation would be better or worse for us.
So now we know for sure that husband’s assembly plant will become idle in September. At least it isn’t being closed outright, but there’s no guarantee that a car will ever again be assembled there. So in reality we’re still in limbo. Should he retire now? Or take unemployment and see what happens next? Will the job he does now continue through September? Or will he be forced to retire in July? When they idle the plant will there be maintenance work for him to do? Or is it best to take the buyout and walk now; leave all that stress behind?
We had planned on having him retire in a couple of years, so this is really just a bit early. So maybe this is the best of times. It’s a major change in our lives and will warrant more discussion, more thought, and a good bit of adjustment for each of us. I’m not working full time and the decision would be easier if I were still working at my previous career. I’m trying not to feel guilty that I left a lucritive career to move into something that pays so little. And that I’m still part-time to boot. Who knew back in 2006 when I made that decision where we’d be today. I’m sure I could go back to that life, but I’m not ready to give up my dream yet.
So. Is this the worst of times? Or the best?
7 Things
Our doggie blogger friends Josh and Jessie from New Zealand (at http://oursheltie.blogspot.com/) have challenged Katie and I to come up with 7 things that we love. There’s a really cool graphic that is supposed to go with this challenge, but I’m not computer literate enough to figure out how to get it over to our blog here. So just image something pretty, a pink and green square or such thing!
So…let us think about this. Seven things that Katie loves. This shouldn’t be so hard…the difficulty might be in limiting it to only seven!
1. First has to be us, her people parents. She always wants to be nearby, in case we need anything…or are handing out anything. Like TREATS!
2. A close second would be supper! Or anything that accidentally falls on the floor. Especially TREATS!
3. The park ranks right up there. Any park will do, but especially one which might have little kids playing softball. She likes to watch them run around. And of course there is the possibility of TREATS!
4. Froggy, her favorite toy. Good for chewing, carrying around, fetching and dropping at the feet of her people parents to get attention. Can be used to get TREATS!
5. Her frisbee. Because that means we’re going outside to RUN! And there might be TREATS!
6. Dozing in the sun, either by the front door, in order to keep track of passing traffic, or out in her pen under a tree. She uses this time to store up energy the better to pester her people later for TREATS!
7. Posing for pictures. Cause often that is accompanied by…well…TREATS!
Now we’re supposed to tag seven doggie bloggers and have them come up with their own list of seven. Hmmm…this will be hard. But perhaps
Miley
Ricky
Oreo
Layla
Red
Morgan
and Ludo will want to give it a try? I think Reilly has already been tagged, but I’m not sure. If not…well…Reilly?
Bits and pieces of library work
Poetry lady wanted to see work of contemporary poets…”someone who’s not dead yet!” I thought of a friend of mine who writes poetry and wished she was near. She’d be able to list off several “not dead yet” poets. Me? Not so much. So I found the lady the poetry section of our library and together we spent some fun minutes looking for authors we recognized, asking each other if we thought they were still living. We shared some smiles, a few (hushed, after all it IS the library!) laughs, and she left with a stack of books almost too big for her to handle.
Resume guy was updating his resume and couldn’t get the bullet points to line up. He had messed around so much his resume looked like a connect the dots picture in a coloring book. He came looking for help wondering if we knew anything about Word. Maybe. A couple of clicks and I had it looking worse. He said maybe it was OK the way he had it, and I said, in my most librarianish voice..”Certainly not, this is your RESUME! It has to be perfect!” And a couple more clicks and it was. He was grateful. So was I. I had no idea what I had done to correct his bullet points. I told him to hurry up and save it before we messed it up again. More hushed laughter.
Communist Manifesto girl needed a copy of it, the manifesto, for a paper. Of course our copy was checked out. Aren’t they all? When is the paper due? Oh not till “sometime this summer”, so I had time to pull another copy in from a neighboring branch. “Don’t think I’m weird” she said. “The prof just wants a paper on someone’s thought process, so I chose this.” I don’t think she’s weird, I think she’s more interesting than the average student.
A mother calls, wants a book whose title she’s unsure of. Doesn’t know the author. Might be a picture book. Maybe not. Probably about trains. Thomas the train? No, she doesn’t think so. But maybe. Daughter needs it for a presentation at a local college tomorrow. But we don’t know what the title is. Daughter apparently is too busy to make this call herself. Unsatisfied patron. Sigh. Might need some more hushed laughter now.
Do we have the local paper on microfilm? Yes we do. Can I get a copy of the February 23rd paper from 1918? Well, no. We only go back to 1931. Sigh.
Lots of new patrons signing up for cards this morning. Everyone wants a card to use the internet. Mostly to print resumes, look for work. Scary. I’m thinking we need some loud belly laughs now. All of us. Even if we ARE in a library.
It's Saturday…must be I'm at the library
Seems most Saturdays find me working at the library. Not that you can really consider it work, at least not compared to my previous life. Though sometimes I wish I didn’t have to go to work, most of the time I enjoy the people watching that comes with the job. For instance here’s a small smattering of things I noticed while working today:
A small boy, maybe 4 or 5 sitting in a big overstuffed chair. His feet don’t reach the floor. In fact they barely reach the edge of the chair seat. He has a big picture book in his lap and he’s studiously reading to himself. Around him is chaos, other people in the library talking loudly, joking with each other, comparing notes about movies they’ve seen. This little boy just continues to read, lost in thought. Later I was close enough to hear him read out loud and his words in no way resemble the story as it’s written. He’s making up the story as he goes, describing the pictures. He’s going to be a wonderful father someday, reading aloud to his own kids.
A young girl checks out a book about why women and girls don’t like their own bodies. I hope she picks up some pointers about learning to like herself. I wonder what made her get that book; I know there must be issues to be resolved.
A middle aged guy is writing a paper and preparing for a college group presentation on high blood pressure. He’s having trouble getting the articles he’s found on the Mayo website to print. I can’t get them to print either. It’s this kind of trouble that makes middle aged students (and I can relate to this!) think they are too old to be in school, what with all the technological changes that have occurred since we went to school the first time. But it wasn’t him, it was the website. Hopefully he gets that and doesn’t become discouraged. Sometimes it’s hard not to think you’re just too old to try something so new.
Another middle aged man is working on his resume, checking out job websites. It’s discouraging for the unemployed middle aged patron as well. A young woman plays games on the computer, killing time until she has to go see her doctor. Just a checkup she says, but you see the questions in her eyes. I wish I could make it all better for all of them.
A grandmother comes in with one of her grandchildren. She wants a book on aerobics. A book? Why not a DVD? No, just a book. I can’t find one specifically on aerobics, but I find one on walking, and one on Yoga and she seems happy. I’d think chasing after grandchildren would be aerobic enough!
Another older college student, this one needs stuff on anatomy and physiology. I’m working in a small branch today, not much on our shelves, but lots of stuff in our reference section. He’s happy with that.
And of course the movies. Movies being checked in and checked back out just as fast. Seemed like hundreds of movies, might have been. With the occassional book thrown in, just to make me happy.
Libraries. Here’s hoping we never have to live without them.
Change Is Hard 