Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Category Archives: employment


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Library funny

Yesterday afternoon I was working at the library.  Though you wouldn’t think it takes a masters degree to do it, a large part of my job seems to be checking dvds in and out.  Families come in and each member brings back the maximum, six, dvds and checks out another six.  All the dvd cases lock, so as they get checked back in the cases get locked, and as they get checked out the cases get unlocked.  I was having all sorts of trouble with the unlocking equipment at the station I was working yesterday.  Torward the end of the shift a little boy, maybe 6 or 7 watched me struggle to unlock his dvds.  As I finally got them all open he said “You’re not very good at that are you?”  I laughed and said no I wasn’t very good at it.  Then as he watched me scan them all onto his library card he added “But you’re very good at that!”

Kids.  They make you smile.


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Holidays at a retail store

Last night I worked at the bookstore from 5 p.m. until 12:30 a.m.  How to describe it?  Well, let’s just say that there was a full moon shining and there were many frustrated, tired, angry and confused people shopping. Seven hours of standing behind a cash register, smiling and asking if gift receipts are needed, is way too many.  Though sometimes cute things happened.  Like the mother who had children’s books hidden under her coat and who distracted the kids as she slid them silently to me to scan.  I recognized them as Christmas gifts, scanned them and quietly double bagged them so the kids didn’t see.  Or the ten year old who returned a book she had received as a gift and got a gift card in return, and who spent HOURS searching for just the perfect book to spend her new found wealth on.  She bought a book as a Christmas gift for her brother rather than one for herself.  Her gap-toothed grin said it all.  But mostly there were frazzled grownups with stacks of stuff who had waited in one long line too many that day and were ready to take it out on someone.  And the poor cashier is someone, isn’t she?

When I got home around 1 in the morning Katie was frantic for play.  But my feet hurt, my head hurt, even my hair hurt, so we went to bed.  This morning she and I are playing for a bit, before I head out to my other job.  At the library today we are doing crafts with about 30 5-7 year old kids.  And tomorrow I work at the bookstore again until 12:30 in the morning.  I can barely stand all this holiday cheer!


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A mile in winter

As I was driving to work the other day I saw a sign in front of a store that something like “A mile driven is two in winter.”  I don’t really know what that meant to the people in the landscaping establishment, but it struck a chord with me.  Seems like many things are just twice as difficult this winter.  The snow came sooner and is sticking around, it’s doubly cold here for this time of year.  The economy is frightening, and most of our income is attached to General Motors which increases the fear factor.  And of course I’m working two jobs, something I’ve never done before.  It’s difficult to find a space where things feel normal, happy, comfortable.   Frankly I miss being inside the safe, sheltered, and to be honest, slightly dilusional world of grad school.  Cause the real world is pretty darn difficult right now.  Each mile we cover, so far this winter, feels like we’ve just run two.  Here’s hoping things begin to look up once we get to 2009.

Meanwhile…I’m off to work, I had the weekend off, but they called for backup help at the bookstore.  Can’t wait to face all those friendly shoppers!  Well.  Some of them are friendly.  But lots of them also look like they just ran two miles to make it the one mile into the store.  If you know what I mean.


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India isn't so far away

I’ve been watching developments in India (and as I write that I can hear in my mind my Indian professors and graduate assistants say the word “development” with their own unique pronunciation) and at first I thought, as many probably did, that these events were unrelated to me, far away, not my worry.  But the more I listened and the more I became engaged with the story, the more I realized I knew people with families and friends in India, and I didn’t know where they were or if they were OK.  And that made the whole horrific thing more real, more tragic and much more scary.

One of the librarians I work for is Indian, and just last Tuesday she was talking about a trip back to India, so she must have family still there.  My sister-in-law has friends in India, that she recently visited, though she assures me they are all safe in another city.  And my second semester of graduate school, January 2007, I had an Indian graduate assistant that taught a discussion section I attended.  I suddenly remembered him as I listened to the Indian comandos describe their search inside the bloody  hotel, the accent as he spoke in English exactly the same as the graduate student explaining algebra to me.  I know that “T” went home to India in the middle of the semester because his father died, so obviously he has family there as well.  I don’t even remember his last name which I’d need to find him to inquire if his family is safe, but I think of him now and sincerely hope they are.

It’s sad to think that only by recognizing that I know people who might be directly affected by the terrorism in India did I begin to pay attention.  The world is small, and we are all closer than we think to events everywhere else.  What is frightening to them should be frightening to us.  Is frightening to us.  Because they are us, and we are them, and it is only by grace that we have not faced similar atrocities in our own neighborhoods.


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Thanksgiving reflection

Dinner is over, the pie has been eaten, our guest is on her way home, and I have a moment to think about Thanksgiving and the giving of thanks. Regardless of my holiday induced emotional lows I recognize that I am truly lucky and have much to be thankful for. In these times when families often are torn apart by misunderstanding, political differences or forgotten arguments, my family, even with expressed differences, is still strongly supportive of each other. Though we live spread across the country, we know for certain that any one of us would be wherever we were needed in a heartbeat, should one of us need that support up close and personal. We can count on each other, and I’m thankful for that.

And in this economy where the unemployment in Michigan runs close to 10% I know that I am lucky to have not one, but two part time jobs. And I am exceedingly lucky that one of them is in my field and that I get to do the work I feel I was meant to do. Though it’s hard to remember the “lucky” part when I’m scraping ice off my windshield early in the morning on my way to one of the two jobs, I am thankful to have found employment this year.

I also know how lucky I am in my husband who has stood behind me while I left a lucrative career to start over in graduate school, and during my long hiatus of a summer with no work whatsoever. He talks to my siblings regularly when they call for support and is 100% behind each of them. That’s rare in a spouse, and I’m thankful for his support of me and my family.

And of course I’m thankful for Katie. Who wouldn’t be grateful to be the adopted mom of such a lovable little devil dog. I think she’s chewing up one of my shoes right now in reciprocal thankfulness!

And lastly I am thankful for my friends, those I’ve met in person, and those of you that I’ve only conversed with in cyberspace. You have all been incredibly supportive of my career change, and my emotional baggage. Thanks..so much…for listening!


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Working, working, working

Today was my first shift at the library job. Last Friday was my first shift at the book store job. I have to say that I like both jobs, once I get there and start working. THINKING about going out to work is a different story. On the drive to work I’m wishing I didn’t have to go, and sometimes I watch the clock when I’m there, especially at the beginning of the book store job where I was on my own on a cash register, and there was a continuous line of customers. It felt like about an hour had gone by when really it was only 15 minutes. That was stressful; it had been almost ten days since I had been trained, and at first I couldn’t remember very much! But the other employees were helpful, and eventually I sort of got in a rhythm. As long as no one asked me anything beyond wanting to buy something! The library job this afternoon was fun too, but I had the same problem of not being able to remember just how to get everything done for the patrons, or the right answers to many of their questions. But it will all work out in the end. I hope.

Today we got some pretty significant snow, about 2.5 inches. Katie LOVES snow, so before I went to work we went outside to play. Here she is asking WHY she has to sit still when there are so many snowflakes to chase and catch!

Then we ran around the yard, her chasing my feet and pant leg as well as trying to catch all the falling snow, my shoes kicking up snowballs. We had a great time!

Eventually she looked like this…

…and I had to go to work, so we went inside; she played with her inside toys and her Dad, and I went on to work to make some money to buy dogfood and more toys!

Tomorrow and Wednesday I work 8 hours each, then a day off! YEA! I know I am lucky to have work, so this Thanksgiving I”ll be giving thanks for working again. Even though sometimes I don’t want to leave my warm house and head out. Hope you all have things to be thankful for as well!



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Real life wears me out

I completed a week of orientation and training for my new library job. I am so thankful to have this position, it’s exhilarating to be officially part of a library system again. Yet I am also exhausted. There is so much to learn between the two jobs, both begun in the last 10 days. And worse, there is all that other information stored in my brain, left over from the previous library job which ended seven months ago. So hard to keep it all straight! I work tomorrow at the book store job, where I was trained nine days ago, and at this moment I can barely remember my login. I think they expect me to sign in and go, all on my own. I hope I don’t make a costly error. Mostly I hope to just survive and be somewhat of an asset there. The library work I know I can be an asset, the book store? Hard to say.

Due to all the new job stuff I have somewhat forgotten about Thanksgiving which is rapidly approaching. I had planned on going south to be with family, but that was before I was hired twice. So this year I did the unthinkable and ordered Thanksgiving from a grocery store. I don’t have the time or the energy to make a big dinner. We’re picking up husband’s 92 year old aunt for dinner, and there will be leftovers, so the day will qualify as a family holiday!

Now that I’m back to work I remember how working sort of interfered with life. At least for the most part I am going to enjoy this life interference and that makes it OK…but I’m still exhausted!


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Expanding the mind to hold all the new stuff in

Today was day two of orientation for the library job; sixteen hours of new facts, figures, procedures, policies and demonstrations under my belt. That’s on top of the seven hours of on the job training late last week at the book store new job. The two positions are somewhat alike, and yet totally different. My mind is becoming tired from being forever alert, trying to absorb everything like a sponge without letting any of the valuable information leak back out. I think I will like the work in each place, but hope that I can manage to juggle them both without becoming a burden to either of the schedule makers. Other people do this, juggle two jobs, it can’t be impossible. But it seems pretty difficult at the moment.

And I’m tired. I’m not used to being attentive for this many hours, this many days in a row! After a summer of no employment, it’s been a shock to find myself an employee in two places at once. And gee, what’s all this about having to look appropriate? Six months of slovenly wardrobe choices has made getting dressed in real clothes somewhat of a chore. I can’t wait to get out of them and back into sweats as soon as I get home. And another thing about having a job….no one is doing the vacuuming or laundry while I’m gone. What’s up with that?!

Tonight as I pulled into the grocery store there was a wave of relief that washed over me. I wondered why that was, given grocery shopping isn’t that high on my favorite things list. Then it hit me. At least I know what I’m doing when I’m grocery shopping. I haven’t felt like I knew what I was doing for several days now and it felt good to do something familiar. Now that’s sad!


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Watching retirement slip away

A disadvantage of not being at work all day is that I get to watch CNN and CNBC and Headline News…all of which seem to have nothing on but coverage of the economy; the sinking stock market, the housing market in disarray, bailouts, threatened bankruptcy of the entire auto industry and arguments about what is best done to save us from ourselves. As I watch my retirement slip away I am grateful for the work I have been able to find, and I wonder what the future will bring us all.

If the large automakers fall into bankruptcy all bets are off. Since my other half is employed with General Motors, we watch their sinking stock prices, and their shrinking cash reserves with fear. At a time in our lives that we thought we’d be secure we are not. Though we worked hard throughout our lives, we are still unprepared. And we are in better shape than most. We will all have to learn to live leaner and though it won’t be fun, it just might be good for us. Though Katie is still holding out for more dog toys.


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Waiting at the gate

This morning as Katie and I ventured outside for our morning stroll, we noted that the trees were full of birds. And the birds were all making noise; chirping, squawking, screeching, and flying around chasing each other. The noise was quite overwhelming. We stood still in the driveway, listening and watching. I finally figured out the trees were full of robins, all talking excitedly, some chasing each other through the limbs of trees, others hopping from limb to limb. All of them were making noise. I kept thinking it reminded me of something…what? Then it came to me. The robins were acting like excited passengers on the way to a great vacation destination, all excited, ready to go. And the more I watched and listened the more they resembled a high school class at the airport, on their way to Cancun for spring break. Chatting excitedly, chasing each other around, the noise level escalating as the departure time moves closer. I guess the robins are getting ready for their trip south. It sounds like they can’t wait to get there!

I got the library job. I can’t wait to get there either. (Just checking to see if you’re paying attention.)