Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Category Archives: family


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Not in Michigan anymore

My trip south went well.   We loaded up the truck and off I went.

I took two days, stopped often and enjoyed the scenery.  First there were the flat farmlands of Ohio…

…then the hill country of Ohio’s southeastern edge. ..

…which is where I set up camp for the first night, on the banks of Lake Lowell in the Hocking Hills.

It was a peaceful and small private campground, and I was the only one there on the edge of the lake.  I enjoyed the sunset and watching a blue heron fishing in the lake.

I messed around with the camera some, for something to do…because it was way too early to go to bed in my little tent.

In the morning I enjoyed the quiet mist on the lake…

Then I packed up my tent, which looked  sad  before I folded it up.  I was sad too, this had been a lovely little campsite, and I hated to leave.

Then it was on into the mountains with lots of winding freeway in West Virginia and Virginia…

…until I finally arrived, load still in the back of the truck…at my brother’s house in North Carolina.

I knew I was in the South when I saw the crepe myrtle in bloom.

Today we walked into town to the farmer’s market and around Davidson College…if I get time I’ll share those pictures with you later!  Hope you’re all having a wonderful weekend!  It’s HOT here, but we’re sitting down to lunch of sweet corn and fresh tomatoes, purchased locally.  Can’t wait…gotta go!


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Just gotta get on the road again

I’ll be heading south later this week, hauling some stuff down for my siblings.  I’ll probably head for North Carolina first, drop off a dresser to a brother, then on to Georgia where I’ll drop off more things to my sister, then skip over to Alabama, visit another brother and finally get all the way over to the big lake and my parents’ cabin.

I have to find windows of good weather, and Thursday looks like my opportunity.

That will mean Katie misses her agility class..but I promise to take her again when the next class starts up.  She’s still a lucky girl, because her Dad is going to stay home with her so she doesn’t have to go to a kennel.  She’ll miss her mama, but not that much.  Silly girl.


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Happy Father's Day

My Aunt (Dad’s sister) found some old family photos, and gave me this one of Dad.

What a serious little boy; wonder what he’s thinking about?

Maybe he’s considering what he’ll be when he grows up.  What choices he’ll make and how his life will turn out.  Maybe he’s imagining a long and satisfying career as an engineer.  Or thinking about all the exciting and interesting places around the world that he’ll explore, all the wonderful things he’ll learn, all the people he’ll meet, all the friends he’ll make, all the good he will do.  He can’t know yet the mark he’ll make in the world, but I bet he has an inkling of the family man he’ll become; a wife and four kids, two girls, two boys.

It was a wonderful and full life.  And those four kids?  They turned out all right too.

Celebrating you today Dad.


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A river, more peonies and…Shakespere?

My Friday afternoon began with a bit of canoeing in Ann Arbor on the Huron River with my Aunt B.  We canoed from the canoe livery in town to just below the Barton Pond dam.  They said it was two miles of river up to the dam, but it was really more like canoeing on a  beautiful lake.

It’s been a fair number of years since I’ve been in a canoe for any length of time, and today my behind is letting me know that I sat for a good long time on a hard aluminum seat!  I’m surprised my arms aren’t expressing their displeasure at the amount of work I forced out of them yesterday as well.  Of course they may be waiting until I’m less suspecting.   Like tomorrow.


The pond and river were wide and smooth most of our way up to the dam.  On the way back a storm was coming in, the winds picked up and we had little white caps to maneuver.  There was no stopping to rest aching arms, as the  head wind would blow us  further back up  the river whenever we stopped paddling!  It was a challenge that we won!


Later in the day we had a lovely picnic lunch at Nichols Arboretum in preparation for watching Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Nights Dreams” which is being done Thursdays through Sundays through the month of June.  Here’s a link to the Ann Arbor Newspaper’s review which will also tell you a bit about how the play is done in this beautiful outdoor setting.  For those of you in or near Ann Arbor, you really should go enjoy this event.  It’s unique and wonderful and set in a place so beautiful you can hardly believe you’re lucky enough to be there.

We had a marvelous time.  The play began in the peony garden, so I got to take more pictures of the beautiful flowers.  They still look good, though some are not as beautiful as they were last weekend.

The audience gathered in chairs and on blankets along the hillside to watch the opening act; the setting the stage, as it were, of the love between Hermia and Lysander, and the arranged marriage Hermia’s father has made between her and Demetrius, and of Helena whose overwhelming  love for Demetrius has been scorned.

After each scene the audience picks up and moves to a new “set” within the Arboretum.  This makes the production fun, even for people who don’t love Shakespeare.   Each setting seems perfect for the action that takes place there; the hapless couples become more and more confused wandering through the forest on that dream filled night.

The audience gets to see it up close and personal.  The actors are so close  that you can see facial expression, hear most of the words and watch the prat falls as they race up and down the hills of the Arb. 

We enjoyed the fairies dance among the trees in the woods, listened to the magical music played by nymphs on the hillside, and laughed at the antics of  the band of Pucks causing trouble on this midsummer evening.

And then it began to rain.

During the last minutes of the play the thunder rolled and the skies opened up.  Rain poured down in buckets, the production was called for rain and we all ran for our cars.  I haven’t been out in rain like this since I was a little girl.  We got soaked.

But we laughed all the way back to the car.


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Our peony adventure

I’ve been wanting to take husband’s Aunt to the peony gardens in Ann Arbor for years.  It’s the kind of place I knew she’d enjoy.  And I knew I’d enjoy sharing it with her too.

Each year it just didn’t happen.  Stuff got in the way and I usually forgot until my own peony plants were  in bloom, and by then down in Ann Arbor the show was past it’s prime or over completely.  This weekend everything came together,  and husband and I, along with husband’s aunt and uncle, drove down to see what we might find.  It was kind of spur of the moment and I wasn’t sure if we had timed it right.

It was PERFECT!

Husband’s aunt is 94 and has been through quite a spell of ill health in the past couple of months.   That made me realize that we don’t have infinite time with her, and reminded me of how much I wanted her to enjoy herself out in this beautiful pink and white garden.  Pink is her color, so this trip was extra special.

Once we arrived we found a bench in the shade and let her sit there, while the rest of us went off to explore.

Here are some of my favorites.

Aunt V. said that everyone that walked by stopped and exclaimed over a dark red peony near her.  It was breathtaking, and so unusual.


So much to see, such a beautiful place.  You just can’t help but smile.

Even now, just thinking about it I’m smiling, and I’m sure Aunt V is smiling too!

So…if you live near Ann Arbor, and you haven’t been to the peony garden over by the UM hospital…go there now!

We had a wonderful time.  Family and flowers – just perfect for a Memorial Day adventure!


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Mother's Day flowers

My Mom loved flowers – any kind of flowers – but mostly she liked wildflowers.  You know, the kind you’d find on the side of the road or in the woods, or peaking out from behind rocks in the mountains, leaning into the breeze on an ocean coastline.  The unexpected, the often missed, the little known.  The ones you just catch a glimpse of, that you have to buy a book from the local bookseller to identify. Though we usually bought her a flats of petunias for Mother’s Day, perhaps her favorite gifts would be the grubby handfuls of flowers we’d bring home from the woods where we played as kids.

I remembered memories of our tramps in the woods yesterday as I drove on our neighborhood country roads.  I passed a bunch of trillium in full bloom.  Mom especially enjoyed these flowers because they were (in those days) so rare.  Yesterday, thinking of her, I turned around and went back for a photo.

And I’ve also noticed that  the marsh marigolds are blooming along the swampy stream beds.  Once when I was a pre-teen I brought her a bucket or two filled with these plants, dug up from the bogs along the lake we lived on.  We planted them along our own shoreline, but I don’t remember whether or not they flourished there.  I do remember how happy I was dragging home the heavy, bog splattered buckets, my legs black with wet peat, arms aching, back straining, bringing them home to my Mom who was delighted, as always.

So this Mother’s Day morning Katie and I went out in search of a photo of a marsh marigold.  It was 36 degrees, but the sun was shining as I scrambled down a bank to a small but overflowing stream.  Mom would have loved it, there were golden flowers galore.  But a chickadee, a titmouse and a robin were very upset that I had invaded their own mother’s day celebrations, so I snapped my pictures as quickly as I could, then returned to Katie who was waiting in the car.

So Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.    I’d send a bucket of marsh marigolds to you, but FTD doesn’t deliver in heaven.


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Springtime, breakfast on the deck, and an Anna Quindlen book review

We’re sitting on the deck, Katie and I, this lovely spring morning.  I’m rocking and eating my cereal, she’s lying at my feet.  I’ve brought a book out to read, Zada Smith’s White Teeth, but to be honest I’m still too emotionally engaged in the book I finished at 2 this morning  to begin another one so soon.  And this spring morning filled with the sound of newly minted birch leaves shaking in the breeze and rambunctious birds exploring the bird feeders has me mesmerized as well.

Katie and I have been sitting still for awhile, and multitudes of birds are at our feeders, just feet from us.  The titmice have found the new feeder, and being brave, are the first to explore the treats there.  A blue heron, the first I’ve seen this spring glides just overhead, a silent dinosaur of a bird.  I’m reminded that I saw our  resident green herons a couple of days ago, a sure sign that it’s spring.  Off in the distance I can hear a sandhill crane flying somewhere, and here in my own yard a song sparrow has been singing nonstop since before we sat down.  The neighbor’s rooster chimes in.

Last night I was reading Anna Quindlen’s   Every Last One.  It’s her latest novel, the story of a family with three teenage children, told by the mother.  From the front jacket flap I knew something terrible happens, and I read the first 100+ pages slowly, not wanting to get to the bad part.  But the author tells the story almost gently, letting the details seep in slowly over the course of the rest of the book, because knowing the reality in total would just be  too much to bear.  So much like real life, sometimes we have to dull the details until later when we’re strong enough to recognize them.

Once I was past the traumatic event (I won’t tell you what because you might want to read the book.) I couldn’t put the book down.  It’s been a long long time since I stayed up almost all night reading.  Probably not since before my parents died.  It’s like Quinland gets it, gets me, knows exactly the tiniest details about the inside of my brain and the thoughts that flash unexpectedly through my head at the strangest times, the memories that catch me by surprise, the instant shaft of pain that pierces at the oddest moment.

This morning as I watch and listen to the birds and the breeze in the tops of my trees I remember bits of the book, intermingled with bits of my own life.   Here’s the last little bit of the book, edited slightly so that you can’t tell exactly what happened, so as not to spoil it for anyone.

“How are you holding up?” my mother said the other day when she called to tell me about their Thanksgiving travel plans.

I’m trying,”  I replied.

“That’s good,” she said.  “That’s all anyone can ask.”


Exactly.


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Unexpected

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I had my whole day planned out yesterday.  The 2 mile run, some job searching stuff, then off to the grocery store for Aunt V,  deliver the groceries to her and visit a bit, then on to donate my old cell phone to a woman’s shelter, then maybe a bit of shopping just for fun.  But you know what they say about the best laid plans.

I got the 2 mile run in, and completed a job application for a library job nearby.  I was crabby because I had suffered a lack of sleep the night before.  I was hanging onto my plan somewhat desperately –  all I really wanted to do was head back to bed – when the phone rang and husband said it was my Ann Arbor Aunt.  For a moment I thought “DRATS!  I can’t fit anything else into my overly planned day!”

And it’s true she DID want to get together to do something.  In the beginning I wasn’t feeling very gracious, but reason overcame my illogical crabbiness.  She wanted to meet me and Katie down at our favorite park, which is halfway between where we both live.  And it was sunny out!  AND I’d been thinking I should take Katie to that park someday soon, it’s so beautiful in the spring.  So I revamped the plan and agreed to meet her.

I packed up Katie and all her stuff (you know the drill; water, bowl, leashes, treat bag, poop bag) and me and the camera and off we went.  I could feel the morning’s tension seeping away.  Especially when we crested a hill and I noticed the beautiful clouds.  I just had to stop and capture them.  Good thing I left the house early for our 2:00 p.m. meeting…lots of time for pictures!

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Then about half way to the park I realized I had forgotten the poop bag!  And Katie ALWAYS does her job almost as soon as we start our walks in the park.  It’s like she saves it up for a public place.  SIGH.  So I did a little U-turn and stopped at the bank to get some cash, then a bit later on we stopped in at Colsanti’s, a little grocery store.  It’s kind of a plant nursery, gourmet groceries and produce market complete with a bird aviary.  I’d been there once before a long time ago.  My plan was to find something to buy that I actually needed and which would require them to give me a plastic grocery bag.  Which I could use as a poop bag.  Good thing I left home early….lots of time for grocery shopping!

As I was contemplating purchasing white potatoes or strawberries I heard a strange sound directly overhead.  I glanced up and saw a large toy train chugging along on a suspended track.  Strange I thought, but then as I looked around, the whole place was quite eclectic.  Mounds of fruit and vegetables, a gift store with cute little things, pots of plants, a wonderful deli, and a train circling overhead.

I bought some potatoes, a few scones and some crunchy cheese sticks and headed back to the car and Katie.  As I stepped outside something made a terrible screeching sound.  The noise was coming from a huge outdoor bird aviary.  Peacocks!  Dropping off the groceries, checking on Katie who was waiting patiently in her crate in the car, I grabbed the camera and went to investigate the birds.

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They were beautiful!  Several blue peacocks, and a giant white peacock who was showing off.  Plus some turkeys all puffed up.  I watched them for a few minutes then realized I needed to get to the park!  Good thing I left early…

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When Katie and I arrived at the designated meeting place deep in the park (at exactly 1:59) my Aunt was already there, and soon Katie, she and I were off on a walk.  The place was beautiful, swans out on the water, wildflowers tucked into the trees, dogwoods in bloom, the redbuds were splashes of bright fuchsia among the lime green new leaves of the larger trees, huge patches of wild purple violets smudging the ground.  Gorgeous.  You won’t see pictures of this because the camera battery died right about then.  So you’ll have to imagine it yourself, which in reality is sometimes better anyway!

We walked 2.4 miles, and Katie did really well.  And that poop bag that I went so far out of my way to acquire?  We never needed it.  Of course.

So the lesson learned is this.  When you’re crabby, when you feel like you need to get certain stuff done, when you’re not feeling creative or adventurous, let it go, take the road presented to you, keep your eyes open and I bet you’ll see some beautiful stuff.

When you’re least expecting it.

Katie 2541


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Do you miss Katie?

Katie 2541 Me too.  I’ve been so busy away, spending most nights at the Aunt’s apartment that in the past week I’ve only slept at home twice, and both times I had somewhere I had to go during that time.

Yesterday was my birthday and the Aunt down in Ann Arbor had weeks ago invited me to see the University of Michigan’s production of the musical “Ragtime” with her.  So after a day filled with a doctor visit that included a long and agonizing walk down halls, discussions about prescriptions, arguments about things not particularly important, frayed nerves and stress, I had the evening free.

Katie was ever so happy to see me when I got home, but I only had time to shower, pet her and leave again.  Her eyes were big pools of liquid sad  when I ran out the door on my way to Ann Arbor.  Half way into the the hour long drive I had to stop and buy some caffeine as I couldn’t keep my eyes open.   Good thing I did, as I wouldn’t have wanted to sleep through the performance!  It was wonderful.

This morning I find myself dawdling over things.  Laundry.  Playing ball with Katie.  Reading blogs.  Mindlessly watching TV.  I know it’s that I don’t want to go back to work over at the apartment.  But I also know my husband is probably going a bit nuts and needs a break after being there since yesterday afternoon.  But still.

Katie 2543 And of course I feel guilty that I don’t want to go back.   I’m not being productive  here either.  Sort of sitting in limbo, watching the time go by; not here, not there.

Katie is barking at me, that sharp little single bark that says she wants something.  But I can’t figure out what.  I’ve tried treats, playing, going outside.  Still as soon as I sit down to read she begins again.  I get up and she prances away, but doesn’t seem to want to go out.  I sit down she barks and stares at me.  I tried putting her outside in her kennel, but she immediately barked to come in.  Finally I just pick her up and hug her, rocking back and forth.  She tucks her head into my shoulder and I begin to cry.

I know baby, I know.

Katie 2545


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A new day

Trees 1536 I’ve been staying with Aunt V these past few days.  She’s not steady enough on her feet to be alone.   But today I had jury duty, and had to be in “business attire” at the court by 8:30 in the morning.  I didn’t think I could get ready at her apartment without disturbing her routine, so my husband stayed with her last night, and I got to hug  Katie at home all night.  I’m not sure Katie really appreciated that, but she will when she’s older!

This morning as Katie and I emerged, trying to get her jobs done before I had to leave the sky was alive with fluffy clouds, the undersides of them gray, the tops tinged with pink as the sun came up.  I was sad that I was going to spend it in a jury room.  But I was also glad for the bit of freedom I had from the overly heated apartment I’ve been cooped up in since Sunday.  It’s funny how a tiny hour of freedom has so much more value when you’ve had none for a few days.

I have to give credit to those of you out there that are care givers full time, and have been for years, or face years of it in the future.  It’s a hard job.  Not to mention terribly boring!  I’m reading a good book, “Seven Types of Ambiguity” by Elliot Perlman,  recommended by another blogger, but it takes some concentration, and  it seems just when I’m getting my head back into the plot the Aunt needs something.  And of course she comes first.

She reminds me that it’s heck getting older.  Years ago when I lived in the Upper Peninsula I sometimes drove down to visit my own grandmother who was in her 90’s.  She’d outlived most of her friends and quite a bit of her family.  The last time I saw her she was walking with a walker and still living in her own home on the family farm.  She told me not to live to be her age and I wondered, in all the wisdom of a 20 something young person, what she was talking about.  Now I see it again with our Aunt.  Though she’s  smart as a tack she too has outlived her friends and much of her family.  Yesterday she started listing people, counting on her fingers over and over again, people she cared about who are gone now.  I had no appropriate response.  And it’s sad to witness.

Today’s jury duty went well.  All the cases before the two judges were settled, so they let us all go!  And today is going to be a beautiful day, high in the 80’s with sunshine.  I think perhaps Katie girl and I will have to go for a walk in the park before I head back over to the apartment to relieve my husband.  We did get some play in already, Katie and I, out in the yard.  She had a wonderful time.  Me too.

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And on a totally unrelated topic, I found a baby turtle in the driveway just a bit ago and took it over to the edge of the pond.

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He is about the size of a nickle and was warm in my palm as I carried him over to the pond.  I set him on a leaf just at the edge of the water.  I hope he makes it.

Newborn and elderly, all in the same day, with a bit of sunshine thrown in.  It’s a new day

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