Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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Back to the future

Earlier this week I had a day off and I didn’t have any other appointments or commitments.  A whole day to myself!  It was rainy and cold, but still, a whole day off to myself.  I have a number of “things to do” on a list I keep in the back of my mind for just such a day.  Most of them would be more fun on a sunny warm day, but you take what you can get.  So I headed off to Hidden Lake Gardens, about two hours south of me and just north of a town I lived in when I was a little girl.  My folks used to take all four of us there on occasion; I can remember a narrow road and big willow trees near a pond which held the best thing of all:  swans.

Back then there was no such thing as the internet, heck we still had rotary phones, but today I can share the gardens with you by providing this link:

http://hiddenlakegardens.msu.edu/

And these pictures I took on my dark and dreary cold rainy afternoon trip.  Which was, by the way, a blast from the past. (You can click on the first picture to make it bigger, and then move through them by clicking on the “next.”)

Sadly there were no swans at the small pond, but the willow trees were there.  And the winding drive through the woods was really fun.  I could just image Dad maneuvering our big station wagon full of kids around the hairpin curves, the rear view mirrors just fitting between the trees.

At the rare conifer garden it began to rain in earnest, so I packed it in and drove the rest of the way to the town I lived in until I was ten.  Nothing much looked familiar as I drove into town.  But I just stopped thinking and let my heart drive the car and low and behold, with only one missed corner, there I was in front of the house we all lived in way back in the 60’s!

Hidden Lake Gardens and Adrian Aug 2009 079

I sat in front of the house long enough that someone finally came and looked out the window.  I moved along then, not wanting to appear to be a stalker!  When we lived there the house was gray with either white or black shutters.  I say black, my Mom always said they were white.  She was probably right.  The house next to the one I lived in is for sale.  I went online later to see what the values are on that street and was amused to see they are just a little over 10 times what my parents paid for the house back in 1961.

Hidden Lake Gardens and Adrian Aug 2009 080

Driving around the neighborhood memories popped into my head, along with the names of  friends who had lived in some of the houses I passed.  I even found the first little house we lived in initially when we  moved to town; the house my two brothers were brought home to from the hospital when they were born, almost 50 years ago.

Hidden Lake Gardens and Adrian Aug 2009 081 The only way I could find my elementary school was to drive along the route I walked way back when I was five.  I remembered my Mom saying I had to cross two “big” streets, so again I just let my brain follow my heart, and there was the school.  Funny how much you can remember when you stop trying.

On my way out of town I stopped at the public library where I first discovered my love of reading.  It looks like a castle, doesn’t it?  It’s a museum now, but when I was a little girl we came to this building once a week;  we were all allowed to pick out books for Dad and Mom to read to us, and later, for us to read aloud to them.

Hidden Lake Gardens and Adrian Aug 2009 086

In front of the library is a sculpture of a little boy in glasses, reading a book, sitting on top of the world.  That wasn’t there when I was a kid, but it sure is cute!

Hidden Lake Gardens and Adrian Aug 2009 083

I stopped at a diner for some supper before leaving town, read the local paper and remembered.  Everything here was the same but not.  Since I had been so young when we left, I didn’t have clear memories of much of the town, so changes didn’t feel like changes to me.  The main buildings of my youth— my homes, my school and my library were still there, still largely unchanged,  a time capsule waiting for my discovery.

This place was the beginning of who I am today. The preamble to the now.  It’s nice to know that it’s still out there.

On the way home, listening to a country station I realized through the haze of my musings that someone was singing the chorus to a song:  “There’s too many memories for one heart to hold.”   True.

Hidden Lake Gardens and Adrian Aug 2009 038


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My backyard

I was mowing the yard yesterday for the last time this summer (again…what’s with this warm weather?) when I realized there was still a LOT of fall color, particularly in the shrubs and some of the newer trees. So I stopped right in the middle of the lawn and went inside for the camera. For the rest of the afternoon I mowed slower, stopped more often, and enjoyed the task more as I snapped pictures along the way. As my husband painted the house, and the dog watched from her kennel, I’m sure they were wondering what I was doing. Tonight I had a chance to look at what I shot for the first time. There were so many pretty pictures I couldn’t figure out which to show you. So I put several together below. I really think this will be the last of the fall color blogs. Maybe.

See ya,


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In the present

During these stressful times we sometimes forget to enjoy what is right here, right now. And though I so enjoyed my trip up north a couple of weeks ago, I realized today as I was mowing my yard for perhaps the last time this summer, that I have a very beautiful place to live right here. I think it’s important not to lose sight of the good things we already have while working toward the good things we hope to achieve. These photos are of beautiful places within walking distance of my house. Some are virtually in my back yard. I am truly blessed.


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Homework

Today was a beautiful day, and with no rain forecast for tomorrow I spent almost 7 hours on my homework – – staining more railing on our new deck. I now have the big deck finished! I still have the smaller one to do. Maybe tomorrow morning. Maybe not. I finished the big deck with about an hour of sunlight to spare, so Katie and I went to the park to work on her homework. The image above is our shadows at the park this evening with her sitting dutifully in front of me waiting for a reward. If you look carefully you can see her little ears tipped forward in anticipation.

When we got to the park it was very windy…

…but that didn’t keep Katie from chasing a phantom rabbit that she heard in the tall grass. That’s me you don’t see, running right along with her to get the picture.

She did really well as we practiced all her obedience skills, and she didn’t want to come back home when we were done exploring and practicing. I did though. I’m exhausted! Tomorrow I am driving up toward Traverse City to visit a friend for the weekend. No deck staining. Can’t beat that!


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Just a bunch of thoughts

To borrow a theme from a few blogger friends here are some unrelated thoughts, in no particular order:

Today I attended a half day seminar on oral histories put on by the Michigan Historical Society. It’s a concept I’m very interested in, and I thought the $10.00 fee to attend was reasonable for an unemployed librarian. I learned a lot, and am somewhat overwhelmed. Now I need to figure out what to do with the information and how to get more involved. I hope that, aside from enjoying working with oral histories, this may be a step to differentiate me from other library candidates when a position opens up somewhere near home. Plus it was fun to be in a library (it was held at a library not to far away) and be sitting with librarians!

**

Last night was week five of intermediate obedience. Katie and I had a good time, and we got to practice heeling OFF LEASH for the very first time! Good thing we were indoors! Still, it was stressful for me to think I didn’t have total control over her. But to be honest she did pretty darn good, except when she’d find a fallen treat along the way and stop to gobble it down. For a dog that initially wasn’t interested in treats while we were in school, she has certainly come out of her shell! I don’t think she even realized she wasn’t on the leash most of the time. And to top off our evening the instructor actually used her as a demonstration about a new skill because she knew that Katie already knew how to do a right finish (walking around me and sitting on my left side). So I got to watch Katie work from a ways away, which was enlightening. When I’m not concentrating so hard on getting her to do stuff, and when she isn’t sitting right next to me, with me looking down at her, I can see that she is a very pretty little girl! Rather than thinking how irritating she is when she won’t sit, or won’t stay, or won’t…well you know. And I know I’m still her favorite; when she got her treat from the instructor for doing the right finish, she glanced over, realized I wasn’t next to her and ran at top speed back to me. I could she in her face that she was saying “MAMA! MAMA! I got a TREAT!”

**

I haven’t finished staining the deck. It’s been too rainy. Oh darn.

**

I have started picking up “stuff” around the house. There is so much stuff it’s been overwhelming. So I decided to just work on one little part each night. Tonight while cleaning up a part of the closet I found a photograph of Bonnie, our previous sheltie, taken before she was so old. Gosh she was a cute dog! I showed the picture to Katie but I don’t think she cared.

**

I also found some lyrics to a song that I wrote down while I was in Alabama. The first evening I was there I sat at my mother’s piano. Randomly I opened a song book (Alfred’s Basic Adult All-Time Favorites) that she used to use when she went to senior housing to play for sing-a-longs. I slowly picked the melody out, then tried to play it with the chords. (I had piano lessons when I was ten, for one very long year.) I could sort of play this simple song. Then I went back and read the lyrics and wondered how I had come to open this particular book to this particular song out of all the music piled on her piano:

There’s a Long Long Trail, by Stoddard King, music by Zo Elliot

Theres a long, long trail awinding into the land of my dreams,

Where the nightingales are singing and a white moon beams

There’s a long long night of waiting

Until my dreams all come true,

Till the day when I’ll be going

Down that long, long trail to you.

I wonder how I came to play this piece, because sometimes I think it’s a long long time until I get to see her again.