Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Category Archives: scarey things


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Expanding the mind to hold all the new stuff in

Today was day two of orientation for the library job; sixteen hours of new facts, figures, procedures, policies and demonstrations under my belt. That’s on top of the seven hours of on the job training late last week at the book store new job. The two positions are somewhat alike, and yet totally different. My mind is becoming tired from being forever alert, trying to absorb everything like a sponge without letting any of the valuable information leak back out. I think I will like the work in each place, but hope that I can manage to juggle them both without becoming a burden to either of the schedule makers. Other people do this, juggle two jobs, it can’t be impossible. But it seems pretty difficult at the moment.

And I’m tired. I’m not used to being attentive for this many hours, this many days in a row! After a summer of no employment, it’s been a shock to find myself an employee in two places at once. And gee, what’s all this about having to look appropriate? Six months of slovenly wardrobe choices has made getting dressed in real clothes somewhat of a chore. I can’t wait to get out of them and back into sweats as soon as I get home. And another thing about having a job….no one is doing the vacuuming or laundry while I’m gone. What’s up with that?!

Tonight as I pulled into the grocery store there was a wave of relief that washed over me. I wondered why that was, given grocery shopping isn’t that high on my favorite things list. Then it hit me. At least I know what I’m doing when I’m grocery shopping. I haven’t felt like I knew what I was doing for several days now and it felt good to do something familiar. Now that’s sad!


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Watching retirement slip away

A disadvantage of not being at work all day is that I get to watch CNN and CNBC and Headline News…all of which seem to have nothing on but coverage of the economy; the sinking stock market, the housing market in disarray, bailouts, threatened bankruptcy of the entire auto industry and arguments about what is best done to save us from ourselves. As I watch my retirement slip away I am grateful for the work I have been able to find, and I wonder what the future will bring us all.

If the large automakers fall into bankruptcy all bets are off. Since my other half is employed with General Motors, we watch their sinking stock prices, and their shrinking cash reserves with fear. At a time in our lives that we thought we’d be secure we are not. Though we worked hard throughout our lives, we are still unprepared. And we are in better shape than most. We will all have to learn to live leaner and though it won’t be fun, it just might be good for us. Though Katie is still holding out for more dog toys.


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A skunking good tale.

Bonnie: May 1992 – February 2007

I read a column in the Detroit paper the other day, describing a dog’s skunk adventure at 3 in the morning. It made me laugh out loud and recall my first skunk experience during the early years of living rurally. This story’s heroine is not current dog Katie, but the previous sheltie Bonnie. Well, heroine might be too strong. Lets just call her the lead drama queen. Though I had a pretty important supporting role. As it turned out.

I worked back then in the very stressful demanding mortgage industry, lots of hours, lots of late nights. Poor Bonnie waited patiently for me every night, but was always ready to run out and do her thing as soon as I got home. This particular night I let her out the front door, and followed her out as I did every night. She ran over the berm by the garage to go to her favorite wetting spot. Not unusual. What was unusual is that she ran back almost immediately, shaking her head and coughing. I didn’t figure it out immediately, but the smell followed her. Of course I panicked, and we both ran into the house. Bad idea. She immediately began to rub her face on all the furniture, with me running after her yelling to stop! Now! Really! Stop! The smell was..well…horrendous is a kind word for it.

I eventually got her shepherded down to her kennel in the basement. Not finding any dog shampoo I headed back out, still in business suit and heels to a neighborhood convenience store, looking for tomato juice. I walked the isles twice before approaching the register in the front. I asked if they had any tomato juice, the attendant said, no…then paused as my smell arrived…and apologized profusely that they didn’t, and offered her condolences. I headed further into town to the larger grocery store. It was going on 11:00 p.m. My feet hurt. So did my head.

At the grocery store I quickly grabbed a couple of cans of tomato juice and a big bottle of dog shampoo. I headed to the express lane (this was before there were such things as self checking) and waited in a long line. The people in front of me glanced at me, wrinkled their noses and moved almost imperceptibly forward, away from me. When it was finally my turn and I put the cans of tomato juice and bottle of dog shampoo on the conveyor belt the cashier asked how my day had been. I replied that I was buying tomato juice and dog shampoo. She finally got a whiff of me and said she was sorry. But as I was picking up my bag of goodies she still sang out that I should “have a nice evening!” Yeah. Right.

Back at the house I loaded the dog into the laundry tub and poured tomato juice all over her. Then I shampooed her with the dog shampoo. And then I rinsed and repeated. I can tell you with authority that tomato juice merely makes your skunky dog an orange skunky dog. She smelled still, ode of skunk with a faint tomato base. Yummy. It was late and I had to be at work early, so I gave up on the dog, confined her to her kennel and went to take a shower. I showered until there was no more hot water. In the morning I showered again until the hot water ran out.

I dragged myself into work, exhausted but determined to get a lot of work done. I sat quietly in my cubicle while the rest of the staff came in. My neighbor in the adjoining cube sat down, turned her computer on and called over the wall, “Hey Dawn! Did you smell skunk when you walked in here this morning?” DRATS! I didn’t let on that I did, and hoped I could finish out the day, but by afternoon she was having headaches and could still smell skunk, so I went into my boss and told him the (short version) story and went home. Walking in the door I realized the house reeked of skunk. I took the dog to the groomer for a skunk bath. But it took almost a month before the smell was gone from the house.

Poor Bonnie, she got skunked two more times in her life. I learned not to let her inside, and not to waste my time with tomato juice; just schedule the groomer’s skunk bath. I’m pretty sure that if Katie ever gets to run free she’ll be skunked too. I’ve got the groomer phone number on speed dial.

Katie: born December 2006

Still skunk free…knock on wood.


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Fracture

So…my suspicions were confirmed last night when my doctor’s office finally called with the bone scan results. Yep it’s a stress fracture, most likely happened during my long training runs. Double drats. I went today and got the boot. I’m unclear if I’m supposed to wear it during sleep or just when I’m walking. I guess I should get some better instructions. Anyway, it’s been less than 12 hours and I already hate it. I also don’t know how long I have to wear it, as in weeks, months, forever. I think I’ll call the doctor’s office tomorrow and get some more information.
Meanwhile, Katie barks at it, barks at the plastic bag I wear over it to keep my toes dry in the rain when she wants to go out, and is sad because we can’t go to the park and run around. I’m sad too. But really glad I didn’t have the news before my wonderful weekend!


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OK, I'm awake

The Brooksie Way half marathon is this morning. It starts at 8, I’ve been awake since 4. Not that unusual for race morning, to be awake early like this. I have my morning routine figured out, what to eat, what to wear. Did I mention it’s 36 degrees out? And I’m wearing shorts and a long sleeved technical shirt, designed to wick away sweat? What sweat? Wish me luck…

More later.


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It's a mad mad world

I’m sitting this afternoon on my beautiful deck, reading email, investigating retirement communities, checking favorite blogs. I’m also digesting the latest news about the financial mess, the potential bailout, fears of losing retirement opportunities, craziness here in the US and everywhere else. It’s a wonderful thing having wireless, access to the world from a comfortable chair. But the news is not good from anywhere. Ah yes, there is the news that GM will build a small plant in Flint Michigan. That’s good news for a town that has been depressed for several decades. And the weather is still good. So there are two positive stories. But the overwhelming feeling I get is that I want to curl up in a small, warm, safe spot and wait it out. Preferably with my head in the sand. Maybe in warm beach sand on a far away island.

Not having a job has exacerbated my fearful feelings. I am beginning to believe that I need to make the smallest possible financial footprint right now. Similar to making a small carbon footprint in an effort to cause no harm to the environment, I feel like I need to hole up and not spend anything at all. Not drive the car. Not shop for groceries. Certainly not purchase anything remotely frivolous. Like books. Or underwear. Dog food is on the potentially frivolous list, but don’t tell Katie.

I know I am probably reacting foolishly, but I feel like I need to find a job now. Any job. That I need to work to replace the funds lost in the crazy market because I don’t have years to wait for the market to correct. My hairdresser (yes there is another frivolous expense that needs reconsideration) said that maybe I could get a job at Borders. Probably could. Good thing I went to school for all those advanced degrees.

Wait a minute; note to self. Remember that you LOVED going to school, and that in itself was reason enough to spend the money. In those days. Maybe not in these.