Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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Sounds of silence

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It’s time for me to go.  The bedding is in the dryer, the floors are vacuumed.  The cat is sad and so am I.  During my time here the most consistent sounds were the murmur or crash of the lake, and the drumming of the ruff grouse off in the woods.  No traffic, no airplanes, no neighbors, no dog.  I’ve come to enjoy the silence here with that sweet undertone of the lake and the birds.

This morning lying in bed I realized I didn’t hear the grouse, though most mornings his is the first sound I recognize.  And there was no soft rolling of the lake either.  Just silence.  Real silence.  The only sound I heard was  my own heartbeat in my ears.  I got up to check the lake; the rain last night had turned to light fog and the lake was flat, fading off into infinity.

I ran down to the beach to say goodbye and it lisped back a regretful farewell.  Then I climbed the 44 steps for the last time.  And headed for home.

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A few last cool things from up north

Northport March April 2010 1497 Today is my last day here in this tiny piece of northern bliss.  As I was talking to my sister, watching the turquoise and navy lake bounce along in the sunshine the bald eagle made his second appearance of my stay.  He casually sailed south down the beach, out just beyond the ridge.  I got to watch him for a good long moment, so happy to see him once again before I leave.

Later in the morning I saw a huge ore carrier out on the lake.  Red and white, it was sailing closer to me than the ships generally do, so I had a great view of it, though it still was too far away for the camera to capture.  In fact, it’s in the photo above, do you see the small (tiny) white dot on the horizon?   I was watching it using the binoculars and wished you all could see it and the lake the same way when I thought…why not try?

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Pretty cool ey?  Though not as clear as I could see just using the binoculars, putting the camera lens up next to the binocular lens did give me a pretty interesting image.  And now you can see the ship as well!

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I went out this afternoon to take pictures of a few last barns.  Pretty afternoon, but being on the road made me all the more ready to get on the road for real, headed home.  Tomorrow morning I’ll be on my way home to my husband and my Katie-girl.  In many ways I can’t wait.  In other ways I don’t want to leave.  This hasn’t been the most successful retreat.  I didn’t figure out the meaning of my life.  I didn’t write an epic novel.  I didn’t paint that masterpiece.  I didn’t even lose any weight!

But I’m glad I came, and I’ve really thankful to the owner of this piece of heaven for sharing it, and her lovely cat, with me.

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A little bit of everything on a do nothing kind of day

Northport March April 2010 1253 It rained today, the first time in my entire stay, almost three weeks.   It was a nice change, though I haven’t tired of sunshine on water yet.  I spent most of the day baking and reading and studying my still unsuccessful painting.

Later in the afternoon I realized the rain had stopped and glancing outside toward the lake I saw the sun struggle to emerge.

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The sky was so dramatic that I grabbed my camera and ran down the stairs to the beach without a coat.  After all yesterday it had been 81 degrees out.  Once down on the beach with a strong wind blowing the lake into mounds of water I realized it was COLD!  Then I heard someone whoop and saw, down the beach, two people with sails enjoying the wind and waves on their surfboard/ski type thing.  Too cool!  I RAN back up the 45 stairs to get my winter coat, then ran back downstairs to watch them play in the surf.   What fun to watch them fly by!

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Later in the evening I got to watch another beautiful sunset.
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It’s going to be so difficult to leave this place!

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The sap is running

It’s time for maple syrup up here in the north.  The trees were tapped when I got here three weeks ago, but I haven’t made time to share the photos with you.  So since it’s my first rainy day here, and I’m inside baking cookies and reading a really good book, recommended to me by my “host” family, I’ll pause and let you see a couple of them.

The first pictures are from  just up the road, taken when I went for my walk into the quiet woods.

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I loved the way the sun shone through the red buckets.

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And these are from further away.  I noticed them during a drive with my husband and went back with the camera.

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It seemed like there were acres of trees with white buckets.

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I’d like to find someone actually cooking the syrup so I could see how that works.  But so far I haven’t worked up enough courage to ask a stranger if I can watch, and I’ve only seen a couple places where I thought that might be happening.

Bloggers need more courage to investigate interesting places.  Otherwise how can we share it all with you?

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Today's northern adventure

This morning I headed down the Lake Michigan coast to Frankfort.  Along the way I passed orchards and farms, rolling hills and beautiful lakes.  I saw lots of things that would make good photos, but I only stopped to take pictures of a few of them.

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There were lots of beautiful farms.

Northport March April 2010 1104And even more interesting old barns.

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Frankfort is south of the Sleeping Bear Dunes, big beautiful white sand dunes that we used to visit when we were children.  Though I didn’t stop there, I did stop at Point Betsie, one of my parents’ favorite places.  It’s where they camped on their honeymoon, and where they revisited on their fiftieth wedding anniversary.  It’s where my favorite picture of my mother was taken by my dad.  It’s a place I can almost feel them.

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It’s tucked away into the dunes.

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Pulling into the small parking area I noticed an older woman sitting on a bench watching the waves.  She reminded me of my mother.  A lot.  Do you see her?

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Once I got to Frankfort I parked at the beach.  What a beautiful day!

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There were high school kids playing in the water.  I remember when I was that age and swam in our lake on my birthday (in April) each year, just to prove I could.  I’m older and wiser and warmer now.

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Driving back north from Frankfort I traveled through more farms and steeper hills.  When I saw this movie drive-in I just had to stop for a picture.  If I lived around here I would so go to the movies at the drive-in!  Wouldn’t you?

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One thing I’ve figured out; it’s really hard to photograph orchards when you’re on the same level as the trees.  No matter what you do you can’t express in photos the endless symmetry of the rows and rows of  trees.  But I can try!

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It was a wonderful 6 hour round trip.  The cat was very happy to see me when I got back to the house.  I think she thought her second Mama had abandoned her!  Silly girl, I was just out on an adventure!

Now I’m sitting with her in my lap, windows open so we can listen to the waves on the beach and thinking about working on a painting I started last night.  Bliss.

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Traverse City renewal

Northport March April 2010 973 In Traverse City the old state psychiatric hospital is being converted to upscale offices, chic stores, yuppie restaurants and trendy galleries.  I went by yesterday to take a look.  The complex is enormous, building after yellow brick building, three or four stories high, rows and rows of windows.  The parts of it that have been completely updated are beautiful.

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But many of the buildings are still in disrepair, and those buildings haunted me, their windows blank, watching me as I tried to absorb what it might have been like years before.

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Porches allowed patients fresh air but were caged with wire mesh to keep the residents contained.

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Barred windows, many now broken.  The silence that seemed to scream.

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There’s a sadness there that clings even to the freshly renovated buildings.  I don’t think I could live in the condos on the upper floors; even with sunshine pouring down I felt as though I was trespassing on fragile souls.  But it’s a good use of property and will be beautiful when it’s finished…

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…though I wouldn’t be surprised if there are a few ghosts floating around.  So many lost souls, so many lost stories.

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