Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

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Morning discoveries

This morning I went out to the attic over the garage to look for an empty box that I could use for my brother’s Christmas present.  I figured it made sense to wrap it up here in the South and leave it with him rather than ship it down later.  On my way to the garage I noticed the normal spiderweb over the walkway that gets rebuilt every night.   Then I saw the smallest, most beautiful web being spun about 4 inches beyond the first, bigger and more rustic web.

Can you see it?  Look up near the eves of the garage, though it is really right in back of the bigger web.  It is about the size of a CD, and the sun shining through makes it glow.  I watched the tiny spider move around and around, making close, delicate webbing.  It was fascinating how quickly she was building it.

Then I went inside and up to the attic in search of a box.  Searching for an empty one I noted how organized Mom was, boxes neatly labeled, stacked under the eves.

Each box was inexplicably tied with twine that over the years must have loosened with age as none of them were tight anymore.

There is a box covered in wallpaper filled with my grandmother’s china painting supplies, duly labeled.  The box itself reminds me of the wallpaper in my grandmother’s front parlor in the big old farmhouse where my mother grew up.

Grandma’s box reminded me that I’d been wanting to look for my mother’s pastels.  I used to use them as a kid and somehow the pastels I’ve purchased since then just aren’t the same.  Given my mother’s organizational skills it was easy to find the box of her art supplies.  Maybe she was a librarian in another life!  It made me sad to think that these things were tied up in boxes in the attic, and that I hadn’t found them being used in the house.  But it made me happy to find them at all!

I’ll take them home and see what I can create, with a little bit of her spirit for inspiration.

As I headed back to the welcome of air conditioning in the house I stopped by to check on my little spider.

Her web was complete, absolutely perfect, shining in the morning light.  And right in the center the little spider sat, waiting for her breakfast.

I smiled as I headed inside to make mine.


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A new day

Early this morning I was sitting on the deck looking out at the lake.  It’s the first morning of my entire 3 week stay that hasn’t dawned sunny and calm.  This morning the lake has little ripples on it and the sky is gray.  I’m eating my blueberries and cheerios, feet up on the deck railing contemplating nothing much at all when I happen to glance over at the neighbor’s pontoon floating gently at their dock.

It’s the pontoon we used to spread Mom’s and later Dad’s ashes.  The pontoon that held my remaining family and my parents’ minister as we said our last goodbyes.  I could see us all standing on it, crying and tossing flowers into the water.  I remember the words their minister used to try to console us.  I remember the deep, dark place we were all in.  And tears slid down my face.  Mom died six years ago this Sunday and this morning I am sitting on their deck eating my breakfast and remembering.  Missing them.

Then from across the lake somewhere a dog barks, a lawnmower starts, a fishing boat chugs.  A new day has begun and I take a deep breath and head out to the airport to pick up my husband.


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Random Alabama photos

It’s been a heck of a week, so I don’t have any cohesive thoughts for you…just random things I found interesting.  I’ve had car trouble, leaking oil hoses and such and the truck has been in the shop for the better part of the last three days.  I had a “rent a wreck” type car that the dealership gave me, but I was afraid to drive it far, so I’ve been “stuck” at the lake.  Oh poor me! LOL

Meanwhile, here’s a couple of photos of life here in Alabama…the first is the local polling place.  Tuesday was a primary runoff election, so it was open for business.

You can’t see in this photo but besides having a big sign on the door that says “Vote Here” there are little signs on either side of the steps pointing inward that say “vote.”  Now I’m pretty sure all the locals knew it was an election day, and where to go, and I really doubt anyone needed the additional signage.  But it was cute!

Those of you not from the south might not know about kudzu.

It grows on anything and everything down here.  It was introduced from Japan in 1876; now it’s a continual battle just to keep it from over taking our homes!  It has a blossom that smells like grape jelly, and if it weren’t so invasive it would be kind of pretty.  It often looks like topiary..only it’s out in the wild.

Wednesday I took the boat out on the lake by myself.  I haven’t been the sole person in a big boat since I was in my teens, ferrying siblings to their swimming lessons across the lake.

Funny how on this trip I’m relearning skills I took for granted 40 years ago.  Being out on the lake was nice, though in the back of my mind I was keeping my fingers crossed that I didn’t have any mechanical problems.  I remember paddling the boat home as a kid, and the lake I’m on now is MUCH bigger!  So is the boat.

I even got the boat back into the boathouse.  I’m glad no one was watching, because it wasn’t pretty, but the boat is unscathed, and the boathouse is still standing.  So there.  I had to wait for the two white ducks to meander across my bow as I idled into the dock…but you know ducks…they were there first so I waited.

I took the jet ski out later in the evening.  The lake is beautiful then, with the low sun making the red clay on the banks just glow.

Husband is flying into Atlanta tomorrow morning, so I’ll have company for the rest of my time down here.  We’re driving back up to Michigan in the next few days.  Katie is at the kennel.

I’m pretty sure she’s forgotten she even has a mama by now.


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Gulf Shores

This past weekend I visited a friend in Gulf Shores Alabama.  Turns out it was the same weekend as the free Jimmy Buffet Concert so you’d think things would be pretty busy.  But given the oil spill the beaches, those legendary beautiful soft white beaches, were virtually empty.  So sad.  Here’s just a couple of photos.

There were teams of people cleaning up the tar balls on the beach, looked a lot like sifting kitty litter.  But it was so hot!  98 degrees with heat indexes into the 100 + teens…glad it wasn’t my job.

And offshore were the booms and boats skimming oil off the surface….though it might be difficult for you to see this…

I’m sitting in the truck in the parking lot of the local library, using their wifi.  They aren’t open but it’s working OK.  Except that it’s HOT.  So I’m going back to the house where there is air but no internet.  I can’t really see what the photos looked like that I chose, but you get the idea!

Gulf Shores Alabama is beautiful, touristy, ugly, sad and HOT!  I had never been there before…and I think I’ll wait to go back until it’s fall or winter and the oil is gone.  If that ever happens.

On a good note, my friend has two black labs, so I got my dog fix for the weekend…but I’m really beginning to miss my Katie-girl.


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Life lessons learned from water-skiing

When I was a kid we lived on a largish inland lake and we’d go water-skiing most summer evenings after Dad got home from work.  We had a little blue boat with a 35 horse power outboard engine and all four of us plus Dad and sometimes Mom would pile in the boat along with our skis and life vests, towels and other debris.  We’d ski till it got dark, then we’d head home exhausted, sopping wet and very happy.

Lots of time has passed, I haven’t lived on a lake in thirty years and now if I’m lucky I might ski once a year.  Sometimes not even that.  It has become more intimidating, less familiar and much scarier to try.  When I was a teenager I could stand on one foot ankle deep in the water, ski on the other foot resting on the surface, yell “hit it!” and pop up behind the boat with no problem.  I’d land back at the same beach barely damp.

Now we ski in deep water and I struggle to get the unfamiliar ski on my foot as the life jacket floats up around my ears and the ski rope slides by behind me and the boat idles as everyone waits on me to get ready.  I panic a bit as the line pulls taut and I’m not at all sure I’m going to be able to heft my larger self out of the water.  Different boat.  Different ski.  Different me.

This week I went skiing with one of my brothers.  I was kind of afraid to try, sure that I wouldn’t be able to get up, but it was just him and me, and the water was a sheet of glass, what we used to call “water-ski water” when we were young.  So I decided it would never again be a better time to try.  Into the water I went, but two attempts later I couldn’t get myself up.

Lucky my brother is ingenious and he gave me a different, flatter, less competitive ski.  Part of me rebelled because I had always been able to use the fancy competitive ski, but part of me was resigned to accept the changes in me that meant I was less athletic.  And of course part of me thought that if I couldn’t get up on this “beginner” ski, well… I won’t go there.   But even though I was tired from being dragged twice along behind the boat, I tried a third time.  And guess what?  YES!  I popped right up! *

It was magical.  Nothing but flat water, mountains and clouds reflected as if in a  mirror, nobody else out there but us.  It’s as close as I’ll ever get to flying like a bird.  You float effortlessly through the images of trees and clouds, soaring across the water toward freedom.  It’s a feeling that is almost indescribable. 

So here’s the lesson to be learned from water-skiing:

Sometimes if you just hang on you can fly.  And sometimes you have to let go in order to regain your freedom.   The feeling can’t be bought;  if you find yourself in a position to experience it – do it.

Even if you’re really really afraid.

*disclaimer:  these aren’t pictures of ME skiing, these are my two brothers who went skiing on a previous day this week.  It’s so much fun to watch them!  And I had my camera on a stupid low resolution and didn’t realize it…so they’re grainy…but you get the idea…right?  🙂


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Into the "jungle"

This week my brother and I took the canoe up to the end of our slough.  A creek feeds into the lake there,  winding it’s way  through cyprus trees and grasses, then on back into the hills.

Want to come along?  Here we go!

I loved the shapes of the cyprus tree trunks…and the reflections.

It was fascinating how the dappled light played along the water and the trunks.

When we were inside a circle of cyprus trees I imagined what a great camp site this would be. – till I remembered that I was floating on 3 feet of water.

Then we paddled further upstream.

The creek began to narrow…

…and there were more branches overhead and below the surface.  We were taking lots of pictures…

…and we realized it was dark enough in there that our flash would go off.  Hmmm….wonder what that would look like?

The photo above is of grape vine roots.  The vine is above and the roots have grown down to the creek.  They didn’t show up well till I used the flash.  Very cool!  And even more spooky looking!

Now Diana, I know what you’re thinking…”there could be snakes in there!”  And you’d be right, but we didn’t see any, and trust me I was looking!

Eventually we couldn’t go any further upstream, so we edged ourselves around.  The trip downstream went much faster, as I had already broken through all the spider webs! LOL

Back through the cyprus trees,

with a look at their seedpods…

…and back out into the open water…complete with sunshine!

It was a really fun adventure, and reminded me of a time several years ago when the same brother and I paddled up another creek on this lake, but we did it after dark.  With no lights shining.  The sounds of the bugs (and tigers and grizzly bears and monsters) were SO LOUD I was totally freaked out and finally, even after my brother told me not to, turned on my flashlight to realize there was nothing there.  No giant snake ready to drop from the trees, no scary bug weighing at least 10 pounds ready to fly in my face!  I still laugh (sort of) when I think of that adventure.  This one was much more sedate.

But then – we’re much older now.


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Celebrating

I celebrated the 4th down here in Alabama with family and friends.  And a whole lot of boating, swimming and eating.

When we were kids we lived on a small inland lake and always took our boat out to watch the fireworks the city was shooting off from the boat launch.  We’d pull into that bay and watch all the action directly overhead.  Sometimes bits of burned out fireworks would fall sizzling into the water nearby.  It was a wonderful way to spend a late evening, and I was always sad in later years that I  couldn’t watch fireworks with my family bobbing in a little boat, covered in bug spray, sweating slightly in the warm, humid Michigan night.

Well last year and again this year I got to watch fireworks from a boat filled with family and friends!

It’s just the best way to enjoy them.  Saturday night we were in my brother’s big boat on a big lake and along side of us are at least 1,000 other boats, bobbing peacefully in the evening sunset filled light.  As darkness sets in the crowd settled back and we all enjoyed the amazing colors and loud bangs of a first class firework show.  We munched on homemade salsa from my sister and smoked chicken tenders that my brother made.  What a life!

The next morning we took the boat out again, this time to watch the annual jet ski parade on the lake.  This year close to 50 jet skis, most decked out with flags and red, white and blue tinsel, gathered near an island, then took off in single file to run the entire circumference of the lake.

It was sort of heart stopping when they all took off, and in an odd sort of way it made you tear up when the long line of people proudly flying their flags roared past.

My sister was standing in the back of our boat playing patriotic songs on her bagpipe as they flew by and the jet ski drivers waved and grinned back at us.   I was grinning too, at the absurdity and beauty of it all.

After the last buzzing jet ski was long gone up the shoreline, we moseyed over to the “church island.”  It was, after all, Sunday the 4th, and there was going to be a preacher doing a church service there.  Every Sunday boats anchor off shore while a minister or preacher provide a service from the island.  This Sunday I listed while floating with my family in the cool lake water, boats bobbing all around, the sound of music and prayer filling the air.

Sunshine, flags, blue skies, music, good food, family.  Can’t think of anything else I need right now.

Well…maybe my husband and my Katie girl.


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An afternoon on another lake

Yesterday I popped over to my other brother’s lake house.  It was a cloudy day, but when one is visiting a lake, one must take a boat ride!

We stopped at a friend of his who also lives on the lake (visiting by boat…how fun!) and got to meet her dog.  Such a cutie!

The clouds were dark and ominous, but it only sprinkled a little bit.

All in all, a refreshing afternoon out on the water!  Maybe the next time I visit I’ll take out his rowing scull.  But the lake would have to be a bit smoother for that!
Just another relaxing day in the south…


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Another park

The advantage of not having a job (No I haven’t heard anything good or bad yet on the last set of interviews) is that I get to go to the park more often.  Today I told Katie that I was bored with our little local park, so we went out to my favorite park, the one I used to run in each week –  Kensington –  which is about 30 minutes away.  It has an 8 mile bike/walk trail around a big beautiful lake.  Katie and I didn’t walk all 8 miles, but we did do a total of 2.5!

The black raspberries are getting ripe, and in fact I got to taste one or two.  Yummy!

Mostly we just ambled along until we got to the boardwalk that runs above one piece of lake shore.  Katie wasn’t so sure she liked it, there wasn’t anything interesting to sniff on the edges, like there had been on the path.  And there wasn’t any shade either!  But on our outward trip she trotted right along after she checked the edge just to make sure everything was safe.

Since she was doing so well I planned on going about a mile and a half where I knew there was a bench overlooking the water.  But just before that bench is a bridge across a channel.  It has a wooden deck that moves and makes noise as people ride bikes across it.  And of course just as we got there a whole family of bike riders went by.  The noise spooked Katie a bit, that and being “inside” something.  Then a semi went by on the nearby freeway, running over a joint with multiple wheels, sounding like a nailgun.  She jumped and headed back the way we had come.  That’s OK sweetie, I don’t always like semi’s either!

On the way back to the car we moved slower.  She was getting hot, notice the sideways tongue.

Every time we stopped for a drink (often) I’d pour the remainder that she didn’t finish over her head and back and rub it in.  We sat in the shade at the bottom of our last long uphill and watched people go by, families, individuals, runners, people on bikes, people skating.  She didn’t bark at anyone.  Sometimes a tired doggie is a good doggie!

And she slept most of the way home.  No surprise there!