Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Category Archives: Uncategorized


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Analyzing anger

This past Monday the library was closed while all the staff attended an “in-service day.”  It was a day for us to communicate with each other, to share thoughts on policies and procedures, and to listen to a guest speaker.  This year’s speaker was the “Blackbelt Librarian” who travels the country talking to public library personnel about safety.  You’d think libraries are safe – right?  Well, think again.  After all we are public, with all the good and bad that goes along with being available to everyone.

Part of what he talked about was how to determine the level of anger in a person who is unhappy with some policy, fine, procedure or rule.  The level of anger dictates how we handle that person while maintaining our personal safety.  So it was with this information in my head that I headed out yesterday morning to confront my grocery store management with the fact that some items of my grocery order had not been placed in the bags that I took home with me.  I was already upset because I was working on a rebuttal to a critical blog entry focused on the Truck Safety Coalition, a group I passionately support, and I was worried that the store might give me trouble over replacing the missing items.

But suddenly, midway to the grocery store the Blackbelt Librarian’s words pushed their way past my increased heart rate, my rising blood pressure.  Which level of anger was I?  Was I moving beyond anxiety, heading toward belligerent?  Well, yes I was.  And why?  Because I had been shorted items worth less than $10?  And would it be the store manager’s fault?  Probably not.  So I calmed myself down, figuring I could at least give the store the chance to make me happy.  And guess what?  They did.  No argument–no apology either–but at least no argument!

Lessons learned at work applied to my personal life.  Now if I can just use the same strategies to stay calm while I argue with the American Trucking Association staff person who writes that we at the Truck Coalition have some sort of alternate objective and are  “mindlessly criticizing” the nomination of a trucking industry lobbyist to head the agency that regulates the trucking industry.  Oops…there goes my blood pressure again.  Missing you Dad.  Trying to stay calm while I fight the fight.

Truck Safety photos 002


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Back to school

No, not me…Katie and I went to doggie school tonight.  In the past 8 days we’ve been in obedience classes three times.  You’d think she’d be back in the swing of it.  But no such luck.  Tonight’s class had 20 dogs, 4 other Shelties, 4 Shepards, an Irish Setter, a Whippet, a Roti and several others that I lost track of.   Katie was excited to go to school, pulling on the leash as we approached the building; but once inside she was overwhelmed by all the activity.  Her focus was nonexistent, and she wasn’t tempted by treats again this week.  And the one thing that I can always count on, perfect recalls, fast and straight with an immediate sit..well…she ran right past me tonight!  She’s never done that before!  She was, however, simply wonderful on her long sits and downs.  Probably because she was afraid to move!  I wish I had a picture of her sitting there next to a Mastiff, a Roti and a Shephard!  She’s so tiny!

Now that we’re back home she’s fallen asleep.  Upside down of course, against the back of the sofa.  I tried to get a picture, but of course that made her wake up.

Katie 1916

And now she’s a CRANKY sheltie…so I have to go!

Katie 1917

We’ll be practicing in the driveway this week, especially on our heeling and our figure 8’s.  Maybe I can get her confidence higher.  And mine too.

Katie 1923


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Frost is good

This morning we woke up to a hard frost covering the ground, plants and trees.  The view out the breakfast room window was golden.

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It was very cold; there was a rabbit sleeping in the center of our back yard, hunkered down into a small fur ball with ears.  The birds were flying  around the bird feeder.  And the sun was just coming up, tipping the tops of the trees, making their golden leaves shine.

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Katie and I went out to explore.  The air was still and the sun was showering  leaves with golden light.  Everywhere you could hear the swishing of leaves dropping softly through tree limbs, landing on the ground below.  It was the sound of rain without the wet.

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A beautiful Sunday morning, frost is so much better than snow.  At least for now.

Katie 1932


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Listening to an author

This evening I attended an event hosted by the library I work for.  Elizabeth Berg, one of my favorite authors,  was in town speaking about her life and her writing.  What a wonderful thing, to listen to her heartfelt words about her work.  So much of what she said resonated with my own internal writer.  The thing that struck me most was that she has a physical need to write.  She said that writing was a release, something that had to be done, that she’d write even if she wasn’t published.  I agreed – so much so that my eyes teared up as she was talking.  Because that’s exactly the way it is.  Sometimes there are things that just have to be put on paper, that keep me up at night, the words rolling around in my head, words that distract me from my work, that worry at me until I can’t stay away any longer and I sit down and let it out.

A painter has to paint, a dancer must move.  And a writer?  A writer has to let the words flow.

wedding 2008


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Stand for exam

I decided Katie needs to go back to school.  She’s out of control and doesn’t listen to me at all.  I think she needs more structure in her life.  Plus she used to love going to school.  So, given my random work schedule, I found an obedience class that allows us to drop in on the Monday evenings that I’m not working.  Tonight was our first night.  New building, 14 other dogs, most new to her, different smells, sounds…it was all a bit intimidating!

Katie 1890

She reverted a bit to her initial school behavior of refusing treats.  That worked out fine though, she THOUGHT she wanted a treat so she pretty much did as I asked, but when she earned a treat she held it in her mouth and then spit it out.  Apparently the stress of being in school again.  I remember when I first took her to school, they thought she wasn’t motivated by food!  HA!   And like previous classes, she has a 45 minute attention span.  Then she’s just DONE.  And isn’t afraid to express her feelings either!

The best part though?  We did “stand for exam” where she’s supposed to stand from a sit, then let me walk away from her and allow a complete stranger (the judge or teacher) to walk up to her, pet her and move away, and she can’t move her feet at all!  She has never never never succeeded at that.  Either she won’t stand, or she shys away from anyone walking up to her, or if she knows the person, she jumps on them in happy greeting.  Tonight she was perfect!  She stood when asked…and let TWO strangers walk up to her and pet her without moving her feet!  I think she was just scared, but I’ll take it!

GOOD DOG!

Katie 1810


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Northern weekend

Last weekend I was priviledged to spend three lovely days far away from my normal city influenced life, along the shores of my favorite great lake.  Though rain had been forcasted we got lucky and enjoyed the sunshine for most of our hiking and kyacking adventures.  I haven’t had time to sort through all the photos yet, but here are a few.  It was a wonderful weekend with a good friend and I am grateful that I had the chance to wander “up north!”  (The best way to view these is to right click once on the first picture, then click on the ‘next.’  Several are vertical and the slideshow shows them all horizontal!)

The weekend was a wonderful treasured experience, and I thank my host for the lovely experiences, the comfortable bed, the wonderful food, and the warm cat.


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It happened

They warned us that we’d get a frost.  I didn’t want to believe it, and almost didn’t pick all the flowers in bloom out in the garden.  After all, it was barely October, I should have a few more weeks to enjoy the garden…right?  Well, it’s a good thing I cut everything:

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…because this morning we woke up to this:

Katie 1914

The frost was thick on the grass and the air was thick with fog.  Katie was curious and uncertain about the frosty grass, tentatively stepping on it, sniffing.  Then she got excited about trying to eat all the frost she could.  Silly girl.

I already miss summer.

Northport September 2009 004


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The last garden surprise this summer

After the groundhog ate my green bean plants,  the deer ate my swiss chard and beets, and my two tomato plants didn’t grow because it was so wet and cold I totally gave up on my little vegetable garden.  Didn’t go over there to look at it, figured I’d just plow it all under later this fall.  This afternoon I was walking Katie through the yard over on that side of the house.  I noticed a last bit of summer; can you see it?

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This rose bush always blooms first in the spring, and it looks as if it’s the last one in bloom this fall.

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As I was examinging the rose bush I noticed my little weed filled vegetable garden.  And guess what I saw?

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Though the two tomato plants I planted never did anything, a couple of “volunteer”  tomatoes grew up within the structure I put out for my nonexistent green beans!  I hurried into the house to get a bag to pick the red tomatoes, as we’ll have a hard frost tonight!  And while I was there I even found two bean plants that survived.  And they each had a few delicious looking green beans!

So tonight I’m having the last bit of chard that the deer missed, a few green beans and a ripe tomato. Or two.  The sad little garden did it’s best to give me something here at the end of summer.  What a surprise!

vegetable garden 2009 027


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Books can spark memories from waaaaay back

A definite benefit of working in a library is watching books come and go.  Lots of times books coming in end up on my “to read” list.  Sometimes, though, I’ll see a book coming back over the counter that instantly puts me back in time.  Suddenly a faint memory will tug at the outer most reaches of my brain and I’ll recognize a favorite book from years ago.  Most of them have been picture books my folks read to us over and over.  For example, today I ran across Blueberries for Sal by Robert McCloskey,  copyrighted originally in 1948, the story of a mom and her daughter Sal picking blueberries on one side of the mountain while a mama bear and her cub were enjoying blueberries on the other side of the mountain.  And then…jackpot!  Someone turned in the Complete Poems of Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Miline.  This book included two books I had as a kid and I’m pretty sure I still own; When We Were Very Young and Now We are Six.  I immediately looked for my favorite poem, “Halfway Down the Stairs.”  The book opened almost directly on that poem, must be it’s a favorite with youngsters even today.  Or maybe their parents and grandparents are reading it!  I’ll share it with you.

Halfway down the stairs

Is a stair

Where I sit

There isn’t any

Other stair

Quite like

It.

I’m not at the bottom,

I’m not at the top,

So this is the stair

Where

I always

Stop.

Halfway up the stairs

Isn’t up,

And isn’t down.

It isn’t in the nursery,

It isn’t in the town.

And all sorts of funny thoughts

Run round my head

It isn’t really

Anywhere!

It’s somewhere else

Instead!

This was my favorite poem, and I used to sit on a stair halfway up the stairs as a kid while I watched TV with the family, especially if we were watching something scary!

Today I think it describes me in other ways, working part time, halfway to a position as a librarian, still not quite there.  Makes you think what funny thoughts are swirling around my head in these halfway times.

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