Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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Wicked – it's more than just a musical

My husband, aunt and I saw the musical Wicked this afternoon in Detroit. It was visually beautiful, musically delightful, and, if you let it, thought provoking. It’s the story behind the Wicked Witch of the West, the one who tormented Dorothy and her little dog Toto, and who frightened me when I was a kid watching the movie.

As the story goes, the Wicked Witch wasn’t so wicked growing up, but because of the way she looked (green) she was talked about and teased. She inherited some magical powers, and was used by influential people for their own gain, and that made her angry. Eventually these influential people spread rumors about her wickedness to cover up their own misuse of power.

The underlying theme is that we aren’t always told the whole story yet we regularly make assumptions and decisions based on things we’ve heard that may or may not be true. I couldn’t help but think of the parallels between this story and our political history these past 8 years.   I don’t think the musical meant to be political, but that was one of my takes on it.

Either way, political or not, it’s a great show, and if you ever get a chance to see it…do.  It would be wicked to miss it!


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Looking for hope

The library system where I work is a conglomeration of small libraries in small towns within a county that has always been heavily industrial. Mostly General Motors. Its a county I used to live and work in more than 15 years ago, and it was already struggling back then. Given the economic climate now the area is pretty devastated. Today I worked in a branch out in one of the small communities and much of the talk among patrons, overheard by me, was about job loss, the decline of housing prices, and fears for the future. Where to find health insurance, which employer closed last week, who is rumored to close next week. Who’s already out of work, who is likely to be out of work on Monday, who’s had interviews, and where.

Though the patrons smile at me as they check out their DVDs, CDs and books, the smiles are thin and don’t reach their eyes.  The faces are tired, hopeless, frightened.  People who were always able to take care of themselves are searching for anything, any kind of work, to feed their families now.  It made me feel guilty to be working, especially as I am now someone from outside their community.  I stay quiet, scan stuff in and out, try to make myself  less noticible.  Kind of hunkering down, which is what many people said they were going to do as they try to survive the next few months…or years.

As I drove the forty miles home tonight there was a beautiful sunset, all golden and orange streaks with big blocks of pink, purple and navy.  It was a sunset my mother would have taken a picture of, and it was just about the only beautiful thing I’d seen or heard all day.  While I’m glad the library is there, to give people  resources and a place to meet other people to talk and vent,  I wish there was more I could do.  And I feel guilty about hoping my husband and I don’t find ourselves in the same boat soon.

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It's a brand new year!

The first day of 2009 dawned a delicate pink here in Michigan. Fresh snow on the ground, clear skies and the sun coming up make for a hopeful feeling. Katie and I watched the sun rise as we wandered the yard looking for the perfect place. If you know what I mean.
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Traditionally this is the time to plan future goals.  So here are a few things I hope for in the year 2009:

That my family members find peace and resolution to their current troubles.

That I find a full time library job.

That Katie gets to take some more agility classes.

That the economy finds its bottom and begins to improve.

That the Middle East finds some sort of structured peace (hey if you’re wishing might as well wish big!)

That all of you are safe and happy.

Love to all, from Katie and me.

katie-1127


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Return day

Today (well it’s probably yesterday now, I think it’s after midnight.) I worked both jobs, 5 hours at the library and 7 at the bookstore. Sort of have mind numbing brain cramping now! But I have to say the best parts of the long day turned out to be the retail side, were a continual line of young kids approached the register with their gift cards and stacks of new books. It was fun to watch kids who enjoy reading getting that special book; and there sure were a lot of those kids tonight.

Both jobs had lots of returns too…at the store it was mostly parents returning books and other stuff they received but didn’t want. Wish everyone had their receipts! At the library we had lots of returned DVDs, movies that families had watched over the holidays.  Wish retail returns were as easily handled as library returns!

Boy am I tired!


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Let it snow!

Katie is having the best time playing in the snow.  Even though it is now almost as high as her shoulders…katie-10762

and her Dad has to make her a path so that she can get her jobs done.

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But mostly she loves to run and jump in the deep snow of the back yard…

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especially under the pine trees.

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When she comes back inside she looks like this:

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But now that she’s cleaned up she says “HAPPY HOLIDAYS! to all of you!”  We hope you have a safe and wonderful holiday with those you love.

katie-1037


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Blizzard!

Last night I worked until 12:30 a.m. at the bookstore.  Today I was supposed to work 12-5 p.m. at the library and 6-12:30 a.m at the bookstore again.  The good news is that working those long hours yesterday wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.  The bad news is that I was still exhausted by the time I got home around 1 a.m.  By that time we  were under a major storm warning, and it started to snow about 4 this morning.  By 9 a.m. we had 5 or 6 inches on the ground.  I’d take Katie out and within a half hour or so you couldn’t even see that we had been outside.  I called the library and asked how the roads were out in the real world, as we live on back country roads and I hadn’t even seen a car go by this morning.  They said the major roads were passable if you went slow, and the library was open, so just before 11 a.m. I left for what is usually a 30 minute commute, hoping to get there by the start of my noon shift.  Right.

None of the back roads were plowed and I slowly followed someone’s tracks, the snow scraping the under carriage of the car.  Up and down hills I crept, driving in the middle of the road, hoping to get to the top of each hill.  When someone was coming the other way I’d edge toward the side of the road, but if it was a 4 wheel truck I figured they were on their own to get past me.  Once out to a main road I was relieved, but only for a moment.  The freeway entrance ramp was completely drifted over, so I couldn’t get on to head north.  And now I was going the wrong way to take other back roads.  There was nowhere to turn around as nothing was plowed.  I edged my way over to Holly, about 10 miles west of me, crept through town and headed “around the block” back out to the freeway on a different road.  By the time I actually got onto the freeway, one exit north of where I had initially tried, I had spent 40 minutes and had progressed about 8 miles north toward my goal.  I called the office and left a message on my boss’s voice mail that I was on my way but would be late.

The freeway was passable, but very scary.  You couldn’t see the lanes, and cars were everywhere, including in the ditch.  Big semi’s were going pretty slow, but it was too frightening to pass them.  Eventually I got to Flint.  It was already close to noon.  I called the office again and spoke to a secretary and told her I was probably 1/2 an hour away still.  She said OK.  Eventually I crept up the exit ramp, only two miles from work.  My cell rang, it was my husband.  The library had called to tell him that they were closing and I didn’t have to come into work.  I can’t print here the words that I said.  But you can imagine.

I made my way across the freeway bridge and crept down the on ramp and headed south.  The weather got worse, there were times of almost white-out when the wind was blowing the snow so hard.  I couldn’t see any lanes, but I knew I was near the shoulder because my tires would periodically pick up the rumble strip and hum.  I was at the back of maybe 3 or 4 pickup trucks and SUVs, all moving very slowly, maybe 15-20 miles per hour.  That was fine by me.  We were sort of all over the road, each following the other’s tire tracks.  And then, out of the snow behind me I see in my rear view mirror a white semi truck barreling down the road.  I thought surely he’ll slow down when he sees us.  But he didn’t.  He moved into the left land, sort of, and we were, sort of, in the right lane.  I moved over further, into heavy snow and slowed down, he barely made it past me, the guy in the pickup truck in front of me just moved a few inches to the right and out of the way, and the truck in front of him did the same, then the SUV at the head of our caravan.  They all barely missed being clipped by the big rig as it flew by us and then disappeared into the blowing white snow ahead of us.  I thought to myself, “he’s going to kill someone.”  Then a big Lexus SUV flew by me too.  “Idiots” I thought.   About 2 miles down the road our little caravan crawled past the white bigrig, jacknifed in the ditch.  Oh well.  At least he didn’t roll it, hit anyone, or cause anyone else to go off the road.  Idiot.  A mile or so further, the big Lexus was spun out into the ditch too.  I have no sympathy for either of them, though I’m glad no one got hurt.

All told it was a pretty horrible drive I made for no apparent reason.  When I finally got home I called the bookstore and asked if they were busy, they said no, and that it was OK if I didn’t want to come in.  I didn’t want to, so I spent the afternoon playing with Katie in the snow.  She loves the snow!  Tomorrow I will take the 4 Wheel Drive truck into the bookstore where I work most of the day.  I’m sure we’ll be busy.

I’m grateful I made it safe and sound home. I measured the snow in our driveway when I got home and we had 10 inches, and it was still snowing.  Don’t know what we ended up with, maybe a bit over that.  I have to say someone was looking out for me several times during the trip.  I was concerned that I wouldn’t make it up the exit ramp here at home, but about a mile from the exit a county snow plow appeared, and I followed him.  He took the ramp, and I followed him all the way to the top.  Too bad he went the other way at the top and I had to get my car through his plow leavings.  But it all ended well.

Ah…life in the midwest in December.


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Extra, extra, read all about it!

I listened with a combination of sadness and excitement when the Detroit Free Press announced this week that it would stop home delivery of newspapers in the manner we have been accustomed to for the past 100 years.  Well.  I haven’t been accustomed to home delivery for 100 years, but you know what I mean.  Beginning in January they will only be delivering a paper newspaper (and to so many people what other kind of newspaper is there?) to our doors on Thursday, Friday and Sunday.  The rest of the week customers will be receiving their subscriptions through email delivery, where a PDF format of the newspaper will arrive for $12.00 a month.  This is a real example of so many things that we discussed while I was in graduate school getting my Masters in Information.  And here it is in real time, real life, happening so much faster than I imagined.  Remember when we were kids and they told us someday in the distant future there would be cars that would drive in the air, above the congestion of the freeways?  Well this feels, to me a librarian, like that.  Only it’s now.  And right here, not out in California, always a technology leader, or in New York City, it’s happening right here in the Midwest.

I’m not sure how I feel about it.  Suddenly I am nostalgic for the feel of newsprint.  And I wonder how libraries in the area are going to respond.  Will they send someone out to a newsstand to buy a paper newspaper on the days it’s not delivered?  Or will they subscribe and have a computer monitor available for our regulars that read the paper every day.  And will those regulars revolt?  And what about people that have been getting their newspapers for decades and don’t have a computer?  In these economic times (because face it, it’s the economy that is forcing this issue to happen now rather than later) is the Detroit Free Press turning it’s back on those customers who aren’t technologically astute?  Mostly older folks, or folks from economic disadvantaged families may find their access to the news limited.  Is this fair?  Or right?  Hard to say.  The newspaper will still be available in printed form, just not home delivered.

On the other hand, how exciting is this?  We discussed in classes that this period in the world history, particularly the United States’ history, will be considered a time similar to the Industrial Revolution because we are going through so many significant changes.  We don’t always recognize when something changes in life altering ways.  Each individual change may not seem significant, but we are living through so many of these changes.  Someday, maybe in 100 years, people will marvel at these days, and remark how the world shifted at the turn of the century.   And perhaps they will laugh at how antiquated we were, reading from newsprint, waiting for the news to show up in our driveways every morning.

But for now I wonder about that older person who has received the newspaper every day for the past sixty or seventy years.  The people who depend on that newspaper to connect them to the world.  I hope they can stay connected, and not just through the television pontiffs.  Reading a newspaper allows for individual thought and independent opinion making.  I hope the Detroit Free Press doesn’t leave a whole segment of our population behind as the rest of us move into the future.


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No Christmas cards this year

It’s not that I’m not getting into the Christmas spirit, though I have to say it’s coming on awfully slow this year.  It’s just that the sending of Christmas cards is so expensive, both in labor and actual cost.  So this year I decided early on not to send cards.  Postage being what it is, me working two jobs, and being worried about our budget, it just seemed sensible to forego the expense this year.  So as I am receiving Christmas cards I experience a (tiny) pang of guilt.  There are some people to whom I may send letters after the New Year; maybe a few of Dad and Mom’s friends who wonder how we are all doing, and a few of my own friends, but I’m not making any promises.  Because really, a card with a signature isn’t that engaging.  A letter written specifically to the person has so much more meaning.  So if I can’t do it right, I’m not going to do it at all.  What do you think?


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Katie's birthday

Today is Katie’s 2nd birthday.  Of course she’s asking for cake and presents.  So I gave her one of her toys and played fetch for awhile.  So far she seems satisfied.  Right now she’s out in her kennel enjoying watching oak leaves fly by in the heavy winds.  She also tried to catch a mouse, but it got away! 🙂  I guess that would have been the ultimate two year old birthday present!  Happy birthday Katie girl!