Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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So it's Tuesday. I think.

Remember when I said that having a random work schedule made it difficult to figure out what day it was?  That the weekends had no meaning and I was always checking the calendar to figure out where I was supposed to be and when?  Well, let me tell you,  being unemployed is even more confusing.  With nothing at all scheduled I have no place to mark time.  So I’m just going to have to fill up the space, organize some organization into my days, get myself going.  Or not.  It’s taken a couple of weeks, but I’m beginning to like this feeling of not knowing what day it is – and not caring anyway!

Katie and I do have the Monday drop in competition obedience class…but I don’t have to go every week.  And last week I did start her in a Rally class on  Thursday mornings.  So I guess there is some semblance of organization and purpose in my life.  Or in hers anyway.  We went to Obedience last night.  Twenty-four dogs (at least) there.  Way too big, we had to do things in groups and wait while other groups were working.

Katie and got there an hour early so that she could acclimate to the building.  We sniffed all around the edges of all three rings.  Looked at the agility equipment piled in the corner of the building, caught our reflections in the mirrored wall…sniffed all the dog crates.  And suddenly as I was wandering with her I realized she was heeling and looking at me expectantly!  All by herself!  And we were only 10 minutes into our hour!  What a girl!  So we did some practicing of our own in the empty rings.  Heeling, staying, coming, more heeling.  She was spot-on.  Of course after all that I still had 30 more minutes to fill before class began.

We met three other shelties, and I got to have a long talk with the owner of one of them, a small breeder, about sheltie attitude and shyness and what they (the breeders) were doing about trying to be careful not to breed shyness into the dogs.  Mostly though I waited my turn to get a little ring time.  Katie is not a patient dog, and was barking when she had to hang around too long.  Another sign she was acclimated and feeling her oats, the fact she’d bark at instructors and other dogs.

This week she waited when she was supposed to and didn’t follow me out as we were doing recalls.  And she was perfect on her long sit.  We were doing long sits and downs near the end of the class and a large group of people were gathering (maybe for another class) in the waiting area.  They got louder and louder until it was difficult to hear our instructor.  There were lots of dogs waiting as well, and Katie, sitting near the edge of the ring had her back to all this activity.  She was doing a pretty good job of ignoring it all when suddenly two big dogs, waiting with their owners right in back of her, got into it.  They growled and barked at each other in anger, and Katie went straight up into the air then began running toward me on the other side of the ring.  I was already moving fast toward her and we met in the middle.  I led her back to her spot, put her back into a down while the dogs on either side of Katie were struggling with their owners, refusing to go back down.  Katie just sat and watched each of them, her ears flat.  One of the instructors came up behind me and said “Good recovery.  It’s OK to go back to her tell her she’s a good girl and come back out.  They all need a little reassurance sometimes.”  So I did.

That was the end of our class and Katie was glad to leave.  I think she won’t need as long to get into the training mode now, and we won’t have to be there so early.  She really was ready to go home about the time the class began!  And it’s just way too big.  So when our 8 visits are over we probably won’t go back.  The Rally class is much smaller, the building is more quiet, and she gets 30 minutes of obedience which is just about right for her.  So we’ll enjoy that more I think.

On the other hand, when we got home she still wanted to play and brought out some of her favorite toys to entice me.  Silly dog, she should have been worn out.  I know I was!  But she’s still ready to go Go GO!

Katie 1687


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Visiting

UM Nov 2009 011On this beautiful fall day I traveled down to Ann Arbor to have lunch with a friend from school.  I was in AA last weekend, when we went to the concert at Hill Auditorium (pictured above with the UM bell tower), and my husband asked me as we were leaving town if I missed campus.  I can honestly say that yes I do.  I don’t know if it is the campus itself, the sense of being involved in something new and exciting, or the feeling of belonging that I missed, but I do miss being in Ann Arbor.

UM Nov 2009 012 So I was excited to go down to campus again.  I planned the trip so that I had time to ride the bus into the center of town.  That makes parking cheaper (as in zero) and saves me trying to drive in a town which is overrun with students, cars and buses.  Driving in AA totally stresses me out.  Plus, if you’ve read this blog long enough you’ll know.  I LOVE riding the bus!  In a multicultural university town like Ann Arbor you get to see and listen to the most interesting people while riding the bus.  Today I listed to a conversation about quantom physics and another about how different antioxidents work on different part of the cells in our body.  Riding the bus is an education in itself.  I was pleased to note that old traditions continue, like students getting up out of their seats and offering them to older riders, and everyone calling a “thanks!” to the driver, accompanied with a wave, as they depart.

Lunch was spent at a little Korean restaurant that I had walked past and hardly noticed for the whole two years I was a student.  I had lovely spicy chicken as we caught up with each other’s stories.  It was so good to see her, and hear how things were going in her academic world.  It’s such a different world than that of my public library.

After lunch she went back to work and I wandered central campus for a little bit.  Things haven’t changed at all.  Feeding the squirrels is still a good study break. UM Nov 2009 003

And as usual there was something crazy going on on the Diag, the very center of campus where different interest groups usual hold court or entertain, or preach for their cause.  Today there was a fraternity selling chances, $2.00 each, to throw a whip cream pie in the face of a student, all for the worthy cause of ending heart disease. UM Nov 2009 010

UM Nov 2009 006Over in West Hall, where I went to school I ran into my favorite professor.  She and I were walking through the undergrad library at the same time and actually bumped into each other.  We had a moment to talk, which was really nice.  She says she’s going to retire.  I said sure she is, she says that every year.  But this year she just may.  She wants to travel the country and visit all her students in all those libraries.  Sounds like a plan to me!

After seeing her I headed back to the bus stop.  On the ride back out to the car  I realized that campus life was fun, but over.  Just that bit of walking around showed me that I didn’t really belong there anymore. And more than that, I realized I was glad I was done with school, that it  is OK to be finished with student life.  That was one phase of my life; a really fun, exciting, and sometimes scary time.  I’ll always enjoy visiting, but it’s not where my life is now.

As I pulled into the driveway I could hear Katie howling.  Guess she wasn’t thrilled to be left alone most of the day.  How soon she gets spoiled.  This is where my life is now.  And that’s OK with me.

Katie too


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Rally around the sheltie

Katie 2006New classes are starting this week at the dog school Katie and I have been attending.  I noticed there was an agility class, and as I’m not working I thought it would be fun to go.  Then I saw a rally class starting, and reluctantly decided to enroll Katie in that instead.  I was a bit nervous about taking her into a building she was already agitated about, then introducing her again to equipment that has frightened her in the past.  Plus she’s not that focused yet.  So, though I think agility would be more fun, I think rally is a better match for her where she is right now.  I think we’ll be able to gain our rally novice title if we focus.   Well, if I focus and she just follows along.  You get to talk to them in rally which is very different from obedience, so we’ll start there.

There were only about 7 dogs total in class today.  The instructor uses the first half hour to train on obedience skills, heeling, stand and stay, sits and downs, recall, all the typical obedience stuff.  Katie did really well with this smaller class, though the instructor threw in a few rally moves that I didn’t recognize.  It’s obvious all the other dogs and people have been doing rally for awhile and have been in this class together for awhile; they were a cohesive group… and then there was Katie and me.  But the instructor was very helpful, kept an eye on me, and when I was standing still trying to figure out what she was asking for she’d explain it to me.

The second half of the class we each got to go through a rally course that she had set up.  She walked it with me before we all tried it so that she could answer any questions I had about any particular station.  I got to watch two or three people go through the course before we tried it.  She had mixed in novice, advanced and excellent stations in the course, and Katie did them all pretty well.  I don’t know which ones were which.

Tonight after supper Katie and I practiced moving downs, something we hadn’t tried before.  Katie is getting better at it.  I’m still awkward.  But if Katie keeps practicing with me I’ll get better.  I think.

Katie 2010


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The problem isn't just in Florida – it's everywhere

Here’s an 8 minute video from a news station in Florida, talking about the increased risk of semi truck crashes, and telling the story of the semi-school bus crash that occurred in Florida in September 2008.  Be warned, it’s pretty hard to watch.  But it’s the reason we have to keep fighting the fight.

http://cbs4.com/video/?id=85849@wfor.dayport.com

Meanwhile, to all of you out there, stay safe, keep alert, give those big trucks a wide berth, and try not to be stopped in traffic on a busy road or freeway.

Miss you Dad.

Truck Safety photos 017


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Don't push me

Trees 1310

We often hear that time moves faster as we get older.  And that seems to be true; as a kid I had endless summers and it took forever for my birthday  to come along.  Now that I’m older the summer is over before I get the garden weeded and I have to do a quick calculation to figure out how old I am.  But I’m beginning to wonder if it’s my own sense of time passing…or the marketing executives pushing time past me.

Yesterday I was at the grocery store.  As I wandered the aisles there was a festive feeling hovering around the edges of my consciousness.  It took me a few minutes to realize that the aisles were full of holiday displays.  Gone were the Halloween candy packages, replaced by red boxes full of holiday napkins, plates and cups.  There were displays of stuffing mix, cans of cranberry and pumpkin stacked on the ends of the aisles.  The meat department was piled high with turkey and ham.  Could this be?  Is it already the holiday season?  We’ve barely ventured into November.   Later at home I saw my first official Christmas advertisement on TV.   Crayola has some new and inventive way for kids to draw.  As the day wore on more and more holiday commercials aired.

No wonder time goes faster as we age.  We’re bombarded from all sides by proof that it’s already the end of next month.  Well I’m not going to be pushed.  I’m going to enjoy this month before I start to worry about December.

Trees 1315


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Planning ahead creates focus for the sheltie

Katie 1811Tonight was another Monday night class in the big building near the noisy airport with all the other big dogs.  We got there an hour early and I let her sniff all the scary corners of all the rings and watch all the other dogs arrive.  About 10 minutes before class she accepted a treat from me without spitting it out.  So I knew she’d focus on me because now she was interested in the chicken!

I lost count of how many dogs were in the class, I think 16 or so, lots of shepherds, a roti, one other sheltie, a few irish setters, lots of goldens…and an afghan puppy which was the cutest gangly thing!  During the long sit and down the afghan kept getting the young shepherd next to Katie to move.  Katie watched the two of them closely but didn’t break either her sit or her down!  GOOD DOG KATIE!

We spent a lot of time doing heeling tonight, which is exactly what Katie and I need to do.  She was focused about 50% of the time, which is about 49% more of the time than in recent weeks, so I was pleased.  We were practicing corners; 90 degree and about turns.  We got advice on footwork that really made a difference for me.  Especially since Katie is a dog that watches feet for direction.

But on her recalls..well, again I had trouble.  This time every time I walked away she followed.  She NEVER does this!  I think she is still unsure in the big noisy building and wants to stick with me.  I am going to have to take her to some new big places to get her used to sitting and waiting.  I never got to call her because she was always already there!    This is such an odd thing to have issues with, because it’s always been her strongest skill.  Silly girl.

She’s taking a well deserved rest now.

Katie 1986


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A tale of two aunts

King Christmas 07 027Yesterday was a day filled with family.  Well, filled with Aunts anyway.   Husband I spent the morning helping his 94 year old Aunt put her apartment back together.  She’d had to empty her kitchen and bathroom so that the building management could have all the apartments sprayed for bugs.  Of course being the independent soul that she is, she didn’t tell us this was happening, and spent part of each day unloading drawers and cupboards on her own for several days until we accidentally happened to find out.  She was totally exhausted, to the point of near collapse, by the time we arrived to help finish the process.

They sprayed on Friday so yesterday morning my husband and I, armed with buckets, cleaning supplies and garbage bags descended on her home.  She was supposed to have gone back to her apartment Friday evening, gone to bed and not lifted a finger until we arrived Saturday morning.  We were so foolish to think she’d follow those directions.  When we got there at our appointed hour, ten a.m., she had already put her bathroom together, and announced she had cleaned it and her kitchen so we didn’t have to.  She was visibly tired already.  Sigh.  Her eyesight is going, and we could determine that though she might have “cleaned” there was much left to do.  The problem was getting it done while making sure she didn’t overdo.  Repeatedly we told her to sit down and just tell us where things went, but of course she was popping up out of her chair all morning.

She and we had agreed that before we put anything back in a cupboard she would determine if she used it or if she could get rid of it.  Given that she doesn’t cook anymore we anticipated taking a lot of kitchen stuff away, freeing her cupboards of clutter.  But each piece held a memory of a meal with a family member or a friend, most deceased now.  Each pot or pan, cup or bowl was a tie to someone she loved.  Fairly quickly my husband and I realized that it was important for us to listen to the stories, not to pressure her to give up too much.  And though she let go of several pots and pans and a few plates, in the end she kept most of her treasures, because they give her comfort.  They sit now gleaming, newly washed, lovingly put away in tidy cupboards, waiting to be used again, waiting to provide that little window on the past for her to gaze through, whenever she wants.

She had a special spoon rest that a cousin had given her many years ago.  She said to me “I never use this anymore, but I can’t give it away,” as she hugged it to her.  I said that was OK, everyone needs a spoon rest and let it go.  But just before we left she silently held it out to me, tears in her eyes, and as I slipped it into my purse I told her I’d put it on my stove, give it a good home.  She nodded mutely and I knew then what it must feel like to begin to disassemble your own life.

Braun and Badger 079Later that afternoon my husband and I drove down to Ann Arbor for diner cooked by my 75 year old Aunt and a concert by the University of Michigan bands at Hill auditorium.  The meal was lovely as it always is and we listened to her travel plans, several major trips in the next few months, and stories of her children who are coming home for the holidays.

The concert was lots of fun for me, who used to play in a band in high school, and later as an adult in a community band.  I miss it, and realize just how much, when I sit in the audience and listen to talented young people play their hearts out.  Speaking of hearts…mine skipped a few beats when after  intermission  the University of Michigan marching band raced down the aisles and up onto the stage.  The sound was huge and pulsating, and their halftime show renditions of music we all know literally (almost) blew us away.   Three hundred and fifty musicians up on the intimate stage of an auditorium that seats 3600 and is acoustically renown.  Think about it if you dare!

It was a long day, a satisfying day, one filled with life and memories and stories, laughs and tears, and a bit of music to sooth (or jolt!) the soul.  A good day.  Can’t believe how lucky I am because I get to experience it all.