Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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I've been junco'd!

This morning I noticed what looked like a dark-eyed junco sitting on my brand new deck railing. Upon closer observation I realized there was a whole flock of juncos around the deck and under the bird feeder. OH NO! Juncos are only around during winter, and their arrival confirms that the summer is truly over. Even if I ignore the 40 degree morning I can’t ignore this flock of dark little birds. Guess it’s time to take down the humming bird feeder – ey? For a look at what a junco looks like check out this link. Bet if you live around here you’ll find out you’ve been junco’d too!

http://www.birds.cornell.edu/AllAboutBirds/BirdGuide/Dark-eyed_Junco.html


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Doing more with less

I was talking to someone this week about my search for public library work. She seemed to feel that I should have no trouble finding work, because she had heard that public libraries were even more busy in these trying economic times. That in fact is true. As the economy turns to mush more people recognize and begin to use the resource in their midst. And while public libraries are not “free” because the library is generally funded through taxes, they are still a pretty economical place to find information, music, internet access and programs. So in theory as libraries become busier, the demand for services increasing, there should be more need for librarians. And maybe there is more need, but a key thing is missing, and that is additional funding to support the additional requests for services. And in fact, just like everyone else, libraries are learning how to do more with less. In these economic times libraries are not exempt from budget cuts, layoffs, shortened hours and reduced services. It’s a sad comment on society that an institution that can provide support to those facing unimaginable decisions struggles to provide adequate services to meet increased demand precisely when it’s most needed. So I continue to look for work and hope that someday I can contribute again.


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Favorite toy

A sheltie friend posted about his favorite toy, so Katie wanted to mention her favorite:

What you say? You’re not sure what this is? It’s a Mr. Froggy! Poor froggy has been sewn up a couple of times, lost his eyes (purposefully, we took them off for safety reasons) and his squeaker squeaks no more. But she loves him anyway.

She’s also fond of:

Mr. Squeaky who makes a loud shrill noise that Katie finds very useful early in the morning or late at night when she feels she isn’t getting enough play time. Sometimes Mr. Squeaky has to be put on a high shelf by Katie’s parents just because. And…

tennis balls! Any tennis ball will do but the smaller ones are especially good for playing fetch. Or dropping near a neglectful parent for a more subtle reminder that it’s PLAYTIME!

But mostly it’s Mr. Froggy who wins the popularity contest among Katie’s massive basket of toys.


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Advice for someone who is moving on

Sometimes things just change in life and it becomes time to move along. It’s never easy and it’s likely to hurt. A whole bunch. But moving on can also be healing; an exciting time of new beginnings, hopeful new starts heading in new directions, brave explorations of the soul and the world. The best part of considering a move is thinking about all the possibilities, but sometimes having so many options can be overwhelming. My advice is to give yourself time and space for quiet reflection, don’t let anything or anyone interfere with that time. Eventually you, and only you will know which path is the best one for you at this particular place in your life. You’ve made huge strides while taking baby steps through this process of change. Be proud of the distance you’ve come, and don’t be afraid of what still has to be done. You have the basis for building a pretty wonderful, fulfilling life again. Just give yourself time to accomplish all you wish for, and make sure you give yourself credit for all you’ve done along the way.

After all, if you think about it, we’re all moving on.

Photo: My sister and me making one of our first moves many years ago.


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Fracture

So…my suspicions were confirmed last night when my doctor’s office finally called with the bone scan results. Yep it’s a stress fracture, most likely happened during my long training runs. Double drats. I went today and got the boot. I’m unclear if I’m supposed to wear it during sleep or just when I’m walking. I guess I should get some better instructions. Anyway, it’s been less than 12 hours and I already hate it. I also don’t know how long I have to wear it, as in weeks, months, forever. I think I’ll call the doctor’s office tomorrow and get some more information.
Meanwhile, Katie barks at it, barks at the plastic bag I wear over it to keep my toes dry in the rain when she wants to go out, and is sad because we can’t go to the park and run around. I’m sad too. But really glad I didn’t have the news before my wonderful weekend!


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Weekend Paradise

I spent the weekend in Northern Michigan where the fall colors were peaking, the sun was shining, the air was warm and sweet and Lake Michigan was gorgeous. And to top it off, I got to stay with a good friend in her wonderful home complete with a loving dog-cat. Well. A cat that sort of acts like a dog, you know what I mean. We wandered quaint little towns, poking our heads into art galleries and book stores and hiked through beautiful sun drenched forests listening to woodpeckers and the silence. We walked the beach and waded into the gentle waves, kayaked the turquoise still waters of Lake Michigan, and sat in warm sand drinking wine and drawing with pastels. We contemplated in silence the wide, ever changing lake, and talked incessantly; stories about the past and hopes for the future. We read and napped and laughed a lot.

It would have been easier to leave, both the lake as well as the friend and her cat if the day had been dreary, cold, misty or rainy. But it was perfect; in the 70’s, sunshine, the lake a cobalt blue. The trees glowed against the sky. I drove away with the car windows rolled down, listening to the crunch of brilliant leaves beneath the tires, memorizing the sights, sounds and smells of lake living in the fall, trying to impress the image onto my eyelids so that later, when I closed my eyes, I could bring it all back. Listening to the radio on my drive through the brilliant colors of mid-Michigan I heard “True colors shining through…I see your true colors shining through and that’s why I love you, that’s why I love you…” (Fredro Starr) It seemed appropriate and I hummed along with the music.

We took a last walk on the beach before I left, me dressed in jeans and running shoes, intent on keeping my feet dry given the long drive ahead. As we returned to the house I became less vigilant about avoiding the gently swelling water, and a rogue wave quickly slapped me in the ankle, pouring into my shoe. I laughed; it was as if Lake Michigan was grabbing for my foot, trying to keep me from leaving. In my heart I told the lake that it didn’t have to try so hard…it had me at hello. When I saw it again this trip I knew I was falling in love all over again.

PS: The images actually look better if you click on each of them v.s. making them into a slide show…


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Homework

Today was a beautiful day, and with no rain forecast for tomorrow I spent almost 7 hours on my homework – – staining more railing on our new deck. I now have the big deck finished! I still have the smaller one to do. Maybe tomorrow morning. Maybe not. I finished the big deck with about an hour of sunlight to spare, so Katie and I went to the park to work on her homework. The image above is our shadows at the park this evening with her sitting dutifully in front of me waiting for a reward. If you look carefully you can see her little ears tipped forward in anticipation.

When we got to the park it was very windy…

…but that didn’t keep Katie from chasing a phantom rabbit that she heard in the tall grass. That’s me you don’t see, running right along with her to get the picture.

She did really well as we practiced all her obedience skills, and she didn’t want to come back home when we were done exploring and practicing. I did though. I’m exhausted! Tomorrow I am driving up toward Traverse City to visit a friend for the weekend. No deck staining. Can’t beat that!


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SURPRISE!! New toy!

Katie got a gift from the UPS man this morning. The box was addressed to her, and neither I nor my husband had purchased anything for her. So it was with a sense of mystery that we opened the box. Katie was excited, how she knew is beyond me. Turned out to be a gift from her Uncle P in North Carolina, a bright pink and green Soft Bite Dog Disc to play Frisbee with! She instantly grabbed it and ran around the house shaking her head in an attempt to kill it.

Eventually we got it away from her, took off the tag and tossed it. Turns out we are not expert at tossing, but we will get better. She actually caught several of them, though I didn’t get good pictures of her. She loves it.

Thanks Uncle P! This evening she is napping, exhausted from all the fun. Probably dreaming of becoming a famous frisbee dog. Maybe she can support us in our old age.

We need more practice!


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No news on the foot

I have no news on my foot yet, but so many of you have asked me I thought I should say something. I went to see my regular doctor yesterday and got an x-ray of the foot. He can’t see any stress fracture but he says my description of the pain sounds like there is one there. So he is sending me for a bone scan. I go very early tomorrow morning. Actually I have to be there in 8 hours, so I should get to bed. Katie, who did really well at doggie school tonight is already sound asleep, having dog obedience dreams. More likely she is dreaming dog disobedience, but I can hope. More on the foot later. Promise.

–photo taken by brother C.