Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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A treat, and it's not even Halloween!

I spent the evenings in Ann Arbor twice this weekend. What a treat! Friday night I attended a rare book event, where I got to look at some of the University’s treasures and hear a few words from the University’s Librarian on the future of books in this digital age. This was held at the Hatcher Graduate Library reading room, a beautiful place to show off the rare books we seldom get to see. It felt comfortableto be back on campus, and back in a library. And the talk reminded me of some of the arguments and discussion we’d had during classes for the previous two years. Where will digital processes and the internet take us? How will it change what we’ve known in the past as libraries? Only the phantom knows…

Saturday night I was lucky enough to attend an Ann Arbor Symphony Orchestra concert at the Michigan Theater. That was simply wonderful. We went to the informational talk prior to the concert, given by the composer of one piece, the piano soloist of another piece and the orchestra conductor who explained the third piece. The information we gained from that talk served to heighten our enjoyment of the music itself during the performance. The highlight of the concert for me was the first piece, “Three Poems by Walt Whitman” which was composed by Paul Fetler Mr. Fetler was at the performance and talked prior to the start, about how and why he composed the piece of music. It was so special to hear the inside story from the composer himself! The music supported the narrative of three of Walt Whitman’s poems, and the entire thing was at once beautifu as well as exciting. I have to say that listening to this concert made me want to go dust off the clarinet and rejoin a community band somewhere near me. And get back on track with finding oboe lessons! Those of you living in the Ann Arbor area should be proud of the treasure you have in the talented Ann Arbor Symphony. If you haven’t gone to one of their concerts, consider it. This was the first concert of their 80th season…there is more good music to come.

Thanks Aunt B for the tickets to both events! I had a wonderful time!


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In symphathy

In the past two days I’ve received news of loss from two friends. One has lost her daughter’s fiance at the age of 28, the other a father at the age of 80. Both left too soon. Each of the families are in the midst of the most unimaginable and yet necessary pain. And of course these stories took me back to my own loss, my own pain. Going to bed last night I was overwhelmed by the sound of my father’s voice, the voice of my brother as he gave me the terrible news over the phone, the imagined voice of the coroner telling my sister the devastating truth. And then I realized I couldn’t remember what my mother’s voice sounded like. I cried myself to sleep, all the while wondering why I wasn’t way past these emotions. Why they are so close to the surface still. Wondering when I would become more hardened. And somehow hoping I never get that way.

So to those two families, I send my condolences, my very deepest sympathy, my heartfelt good wishes to you. I know something of what you are feeling. I know how it will probably feel in four years…it’s not that different, but it is better. Right now, just get through today. Tomorrow will be there, and you can worry about it then. Later on you can analyze how you feel, and why; right now it’s OK just to feel. Hang in there, hang on to your family and friends. It will get better, but it will never be OK.


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No news is bad news

The hunt for library employment continues. I really didn’t think it would be so difficult to find work doing something I love. Who knew? I have to believe that something will turn up. I think I will be added to a relatively close library’s substitute roster sometime this fall. And perhaps I should pursue that type of employment as a way to get inside and known. There is also a Michigan Oral History seminar coming up that I will attend, both because I’m interested in oral history work and because there will be librarians to talk to there who might have ideas about how to find work.

Meanwhile as I watch the crisis on Wall Street brought on by the mortgage debacle I am grateful to be out of that business. Yet I find myself wondering what my future will hold and if I will have to go back to that world someday. I truly hope I can make a go of library work. I just need to stay focused.


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Wet, wound up Sheltie

It’s been raining. A lot. I know we have it better here than many people in other parts of the country, even other parts of this state where there are flood warnings today. But still. Katie is wound up after two straight days of solid rain. She barks at the ceiling as the rain drums on the skylights, she barks at the windows as rain beats against them. Sometimes she just barks in bewilderment. And having to go out in pouring rain to do her thing? Well, lets just say I’m pretty sure she’s not a beach dog. She walked through a deep puddle, water up to her knees and backed up pretty fast, totally confused. So she’s exhausted (as are we) and wound up from little to no outside playtime.

This afternoon it stopped raining for a bit. They say Ike, now a tropical storm, will arrive this evening and we will get even more rain. But for now, though everything is soaked, it’s at least not still pouring down. So Katie and I went out onto our new deck to play with Mr. Squeaky, one of her favorite toys. She was so grateful to be able to run!

We had fun, and even better, now she’s asleep! I hope everyone reading this is safe and dry. We’re thinking of you, especially those of you in Texas!


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Catching you all up

I interviewed last Friday at a small library quite a ways away from home for a part-time librarian position. They are supposed to make a decision this week. As it’s already Thursday night and I haven’t heard from them I have to assume the news is not good. Which might be a good thing, you never know. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Sometime. I interviewed yesterday at a library closer to home for substitute librarian work. This looks more promising, but budget/managerial work has to be done before anything can be offered me, so it’s not clear that it’s a done deal. And the number of hours, even if it gets approved to add me to the sub list, is not guaranteed. But it would be very good to be back in a library regardless of the number of hours.

Meanwhile, tomorrow I’m going to my local library for a bit, just to get my library fix!


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Memories of a 12.5 mile run

So I’m still training for the Brooksie half marathon which is the first weekend in October. 13.1 miles. Yep. Still training. Ok, so I haven’t really run since the Crim 10 miler a couple of weeks ago. And this weekend we were scheduled to run our longest training run yet. 12.5 miles. Sure, since the Crim went so well (note comments about the Crim in a post dated August 23rd.) 12.5 should be no problem! (That was sarcasm.) So here, in no particular order are memories from my completed training run:

Going 2 miles out and 2 miles back to the car in order to get four miles out of the way merely caused me concern as to how in the world I was going to do another eight.

Putting band-aids on offending toes after the initial 4 miler, hoping to hobble through.

Watching a squirrel with some sort of nut as big as it’s head scamper across the path. He dug a hug hole and covered it up as I went by. Really, I wasn’t even THINKING about stealing it!

Seeing several swans on the other side of a bright blue lake.

Hearing a crow jeer at me as I started out on my 8 mile loop, having pushed my way through the first four miles already, and seriously considering that maybe I can’t do this.

Deciding that it was OK to do a minute of running on the 8 mile loop vs two minutes of running that I had attempted during the initial 4 miles. Whatever gets me around the lake.

Smiling when my one minute of running coincided with a nice downhill…and when my one minute of walking fit superbly into a annoying uphill.

Lots less smiling when my minute of running started at the base of a really big steep hill…and even less smiling that the stupid minute lasted almost all the way to the top!

Grateful to see the sun going under some clouds about mile 8.

Seeing a stump sticking up out of the water, and wondering if I had just seen it move out of the corner of my eye as I ran past. Turning my head I saw it was a great blue heron, with his neck folded up and his head tucked between his shoulder blades, standing in the water right next to the path. When he saw that I had him figured out, he unfolded his neck and moved very haughtily away, doing his best “I was SO not hiding from you!” imitation. Made me laugh.

Wondering if it was raining or was I just dripping sweat on myself about mile 10. It wasn’t raining.

Watching some geese out in the lake near an island. Standing knee deep in the water on one leg, they were sleeping with heads tucked under their wings. I was so very jealous because I so much wanted to be asleep myself there during mile 11.

Actively hating every single person on a bike that rode past me, as it looked like so much more fun than running. Except for the one guy straining to ride up a big hill that I was running down. Him I wasn’t so jealous of.

Smiling at the gentleman, older than me (really!) on roller blades who was zooming down a hill I was chugging up.

Waving at couples strolling along the beautiful lake, saying HI to other joggers as they approached, listening to myself breath and being glad I could.

And the best gift from this 12.5 mile run? Noooo…not finishing it…you were going to say that weren’t you! HA! The best gift was rounding a corner and seeing two sand hill cranes standing next to the path. I slowed down and walked (any excuse to stop running!) and eventually passed them. They weren’t much bothered by me. As I passed them one reached up with one foot and scratched his chin. They were the bike path width away from me. And where was my camera? Not on me, which was totally too bad! They were absolutely beautiful close up. The feathers on their chest glowed iridescently and the little red triangle on their head was beautiful. I’m sure they described me to their friends later as that rather large, loud thing in a sweaty shirt and shorts. So since I don’t have a picture of them from my run, here’s a photo of a pair of them that was taken by my brother at the beginning of August. We saw these on one of our trips down to Ann Arbor. Pretend it’s a closeup shot!


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It's a wonderful life

The fruits of a summer of work are coming in now. This afternoon I made myself a tomato sandwich. I had never heard of such a thing until someone told me a couple years ago about a Southern tradition; tomatoes, mayonnaise and white bread. It only works if you use a fresh picked, ripe tomato and luckily I have a few of those around. Me, being a Northerner, I used wheat bread and Miracle Whip. I hope the traditionalists reading this won’t be outraged.

I was especially decadent by slicing my tomato thick (I don’t own one of those Jinsang knives that slices a ripe tomato paper thin) and using the whole tomato in the sandwich. I didn’t want to share with anyone!

This is the kind of sandwich you eat over the kitchen sink. For two reasons. One you just know it’s going to run down your chin and off your elbows, and two, it’s too good to wait to find a plate and sit down at a table.

If tomato sandwiches really are Southern tradition then here’s another reason to celebrate the South!


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Always thinking…

Yesterday I went to an interview at a city public library in a community about 40 miles away. The drive down, not at rush hour, took 45 minutes. The interview was at 3, and I started my trek home at 3:45. I say trek because the freeway is under construction with one lane closed, and when I approached it I noted it was stopped above me on the overpass. So I passed the freeway by and headed home cross country. I ended up very near my old employer at 5:00 p.m., it took me a total of 2 hours to get home. As I was stopping and going down Dixie Highway, as I had for 13 years prior to my leaving my employment, I noted that I was once again driving home at rush hour wearing a suit and thinking about what to make for dinner. Somehow it didn’t feel all that good, but it did make me laugh!

So if I receive an offer from this library I will have to think long and hard about the commute. It’s been wonderful to be free of that, and it will be difficult to start again. But as my friend Reilly the Cowspot dog mentioned, it would be library experience, and it would surely help to have some more experience on my resume when something closer to home opens up. Good advice Reilly!