Yesterday was a very stressful day.  I started working at the library early, 9:00 a.m. and in the Youth department, then had class, three hours of a lecture with the professor speaking so fast you’d can’t let your guard down, then back to the library where I hosted a program, which lasted till 9:00 p.m.

During the class I realized that a very big project was due next week rather than at the end of the semester like I had convinced myself was true.  The beginnings of fear ran through me and distracted me from the lecture.  Back at the library hosting the program I had issues to attend to that were out of the ordinary; people protesting, in effect, the speaker and her views about the US military and the middle east.

Getting home at 11:00pm I sat in the car in my driveway, too tired to go inside and handle Katie the dog.  Once I forced myself inside I found on my answering machine a message from my brother that there was a glaring error in the fundraising letter I had mailed out the day before.

My response?  I went to bed.

Today I am near tears about everything, trying to convince myself I will get everything done (and in some cases redone).  I am thinking about my parents too much.  There is Christmas music on the radio which makes me cry.  I don’t understand why I am so emotional other than I am tired, and the holidays are upon us.  Or maybe it was just having such a bad day yesterday and it all sort of piled up on me.

Today I am working till 9 again.  I’m going to concentrate on one thing at a time and just get through it.  I keep reminding myself that it will all work out.

I’m just really sad.