I attended the memorial service for my friend’s husband last night. I only met him once, when he brought the kids up to Traverse City in support of his wife’s running the Bayshore marathon one spring. She and I ran much of it together, and I think we saw her family three or four times along the route, always shouting and cheering for their mom. I thought it was a wonderful thing for them to do; watching for someone who is running a marathon is not that fun for the spectators. It’s a lot of waiting around for a quick view, then on to a new spot to wait and give a quick yell of support before your runner is off again. It takes a special kind of Dad to spend all day with two little kids waiting for a glimpse of his wife going by. But it means the world to the runner.

Last night I sat with another friend and listened to the stories about this husband, dad, brother, son, grandson, nephew and all around neighborhood friend. I knew him only through his wife. Runners talk about all kinds of stuff while we run together. So though I might not have recognized him if I had seen him on the street without his family, I would have recognized him in spirit from the countless conversations she and I have had as we ran over hills and around lakes, through towns and down bike paths over the years.

It’s very difficult to watch a young family letting go of a husband and dad. It’s difficult to watch a father let go of his son, and brothers letting go of their sibling. There were over a hundred people filling the room, overflowing into the hall. Everyone letting go. Letting go, but keeping him close in their hearts. The pastor was right. Telling his story often and well will help ease the pain. And eventually pieces of the pain will be transferred into warm memories that will bring so much comfort.

This young family has a long hard road ahead of them. But by the looks of the room last night they have a wonderful, large group of supportive people to help them in that journey. Let them all tell his story often and well; that’s the key to surviving events like this.

Godspeed Duane.