I’m Katie, the ever-vigilant squirrel hating dog.  I can never rest.  Now that it’s spring the squirrels are back!  They could be anywhere!  Just anywhere I tell you!  It’s madness!

What’s that you say?  Stop barking?  Get off the chair?  Are you crazy?  Don’t you know that if you let your guard down for ONE MINUTE those squirrels will be back?  And you just never know what they may do next!  Climb a tree!  Scamper across MY lawn!

Awww…OK, I’ll get down.  But it’s your risk if they get by me.   I’m telling you, it’s a bad decision to make me get off this chair.  They’re sneaky, those squirrels, could be anywhere.  Probably are eating MY birdfood right this minute.  They know when I’m around, yes siree they sure do.  Can’t be nearly as effective if you curtail my tools.  Silly humans.

Can’t expect me to keep track of those guys when I can’t see out the window…..HEY! SQUIRREL ALERT!!!   Don’t worry guys, I’m still on the job!  SQUIRREL ALERT!  SQUIRREL ALERT!  MAYDAY MAYDAY!

Can’t keep a good dog down.  No siree, always on the job, that’s me.  Hope they appreciate it.  Might be a biscuit in it for me if I do a really good barking job.  Hmmm…  gonna ask for a raise, yes I am.  This kind of work makes a girl hungry.  Should be getting more food at supper.

And another thing.  What’s up with no dessert for dogs?  Gotta check with my union rep.  Yep, sure do.  Oh no…there’s ANOTHER ONE!

Squirrel alert!  Squirrel alert!  Gather round guys, they’re out there.  They’re everywhere.  Stand guard!  I’ll take care of them, let me at em!

Sigh.  I know, I know…get off the chair.  Geeze.