This past Monday the library was closed while all the staff attended an “in-service day.”  It was a day for us to communicate with each other, to share thoughts on policies and procedures, and to listen to a guest speaker.  This year’s speaker was the “Blackbelt Librarian” who travels the country talking to public library personnel about safety.  You’d think libraries are safe – right?  Well, think again.  After all we are public, with all the good and bad that goes along with being available to everyone.

Part of what he talked about was how to determine the level of anger in a person who is unhappy with some policy, fine, procedure or rule.  The level of anger dictates how we handle that person while maintaining our personal safety.  So it was with this information in my head that I headed out yesterday morning to confront my grocery store management with the fact that some items of my grocery order had not been placed in the bags that I took home with me.  I was already upset because I was working on a rebuttal to a critical blog entry focused on the Truck Safety Coalition, a group I passionately support, and I was worried that the store might give me trouble over replacing the missing items.

But suddenly, midway to the grocery store the Blackbelt Librarian’s words pushed their way past my increased heart rate, my rising blood pressure.  Which level of anger was I?  Was I moving beyond anxiety, heading toward belligerent?  Well, yes I was.  And why?  Because I had been shorted items worth less than $10?  And would it be the store manager’s fault?  Probably not.  So I calmed myself down, figuring I could at least give the store the chance to make me happy.  And guess what?  They did.  No argument–no apology either–but at least no argument!

Lessons learned at work applied to my personal life.  Now if I can just use the same strategies to stay calm while I argue with the American Trucking Association staff person who writes that we at the Truck Coalition have some sort of alternate objective and are  “mindlessly criticizing” the nomination of a trucking industry lobbyist to head the agency that regulates the trucking industry.  Oops…there goes my blood pressure again.  Missing you Dad.  Trying to stay calm while I fight the fight.