Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Missing Mom


During all the hustle and bustle of this holiday season I’m taking a small quiet moment to miss my Mom.  I know I’m not alone.  Many of you out there are heading into another Christmas season without a Mom.  So I feel bad whining about missing my own.  Still, it’s my blog and I can whine if I want to.

Last night I was putting ornaments on the tree.  Husband was off to a big box store looking for plumbing parts – no, he wasn’t Christmas shopping for my gift – so I was alone with the tree and a big box full of memories.  So much of what we hang on our trees are memories.  The ornament from childhood, the one that was a gift from family.  As I contemplated the perfect spot on the tree for each I smiled.  Mom would have liked these birds in nests…a cousin gave me this box of ceramic ornaments years ago…I remember when my sister and I shopped for these glass stars.

Then I found a box filled with tissue paper, the only ornament inside a glass santa.  And suddenly I remembered the last time my Mom was here, just before Christmas in 2003, when we went up to  Bronners giant Christmas store and I saw this little Santa ornament.  I told her I thought it was like one that her mother always had on the tree years ago.  So Mom bought it for me.

This year as I put the little glass Santa in a prime spot, high up  on the front of the tree, I felt that old familiar pang.  I miss my Mom.  And I think about how she must have missed her own Mom all those years after Grandma died, though I never asked her about it.   I wish I had.

So this Christmas I hope they’re hanging ornaments on a tree together, reminiscing about Christmas days gone by.  And eating Mom’s famous cranberry jello, the one with the big globe grapes and crunch celery.

Merry Christmas Mom.  I’m making that cranberry jello again this year.  And I’ll be thinking about you.

Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

9 thoughts on “Missing Mom

  1. Dawn, you know it’s okay to miss your mom, and it’s not whining to say so. My mother is still alive, but she misses her mother (Mums to her, Gram to me), as do I. One of the wonderful things about Christmas ornaments is the memories they hold. Bless you! And I’m glad you are enjoying Tony Judt’s essays.


  2. Your ornaments are all so beautiful. I have a santa ornament, just like that one. My aunt bought it for me. Ornaments do more than decorate a tree, they tell stories! I do believe your mom’s spirit is all wrapped up in those branches.


  3. I think it is a lovely tribute to your mom that you are missing her so much, Dawn. Hugs…


  4. ((HUGS)) I think your post reminds us to remember to be thankful for our loved ones and to not take them for granted esp this time of the year!


  5. Your ornaments are beautiful and full of such wonderful memories! We send you lots of hugs from OH!


  6. Your tree is beautiful because of all those sweet memories! We have a little Santa finger puppet and we always put it on our tree too. It came when Rosie was a little girl, she used to play with it and decided to put in on the tree at last!
    I’m sure your mommy is watching and smiling at you!!!


  7. I miss my mom too and being away from my country I miss all my family at this time of year, but memories of special times help and those little keep sake ornaments are so precious.


  8. Of course it’s OK to miss your mom, and not at all bad to say so. Glad you have nice memories, and all those beautiful ornaments, too.


  9. Reaching out, across the blogging miles with a warm, soft hug for you. Merry Christmas!


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