Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Maybe it's just the weather


Yesterday at work during my ‘lunch’ break I went for a walk.  It’s the first walk I’ve done at work since winter set in.  I don’t know how far I went – it doesn’t matter.  What matters is that I got out of my beige cube, away from my dual computer screens and into the fresh air.

I talked to myself the entire walk, past the condos full of retired people, the elementary school with children running and squealing on the playground, the bigger homes quiet with everyone away at work and school.  Past the bits of wooded areas, filled with frolicking squirrels and a flock of robins bob bob bobbing along.  I reminded myself that I actually have it pretty good.  That none of the things that are bothering me are anything major and really, compared to many, I have absolutely nothing to complain about.   I reminded myself that you’re supposed to be able to choose to be happy and I just needed to get to getting with that.

“Happy happy happy” I repeated in my mind, in time to my steps.  That’s right…I’m just happy happy happy.  Darn.  My knee starts to hurt.  And my shoes are old and not as comfy as they should be.  Wait a minute…I’m happy happy happy.

And I was, as long as I was walking AWAY from the office!  Just like Katie when it came time for me to turn around and head back I was less than thrilled.  If someone had me on a leash and was urging me to get back in the car to go home, I’d have sat down and refused.  But I had to be the responsible adult.  So I went back to the office.

Still, the little walk made the day brighter.  But this morning taking Katie out I felt a little twinge in the knee.  Wait a minute..I forgot.

I’m happy happy happy.



Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

13 thoughts on “Maybe it's just the weather

  1. I think when we finally get some nice weather, everyone is going to perk up! We all must have vitamin D deficiencies.

    Hey, it’s FRIDAY!


  2. Sometimes life is just to much. There is stress even if its not life or death and its ok to feel that way. I hope your walk helped some what.


  3. I’ve never been very good at that “choose to be happy” stuff – LOL! I agree with what Diana said and I hope you continue to go for walks at lunch – the little break has to help!


  4. A walk at lunch time can do wonders – so can a quick nap – I had a bean bag in my office to take a quick nap on a nice warm car also works 🙂 There is nothing like the fresh air though and you know what is fun – to keep a little journal and jot down one interesting thing you see each day on your walks.


  5. Dawn, I can completely relate to your feeling of being on a leash. The last job I had that felt that way (or worse) was fortunately in a tiny village where I could escape to the waterside on my lunch break. One day I went to a little thrift shop and found and bought a stuffed lamb–no, not meat, a child’s toy–that looked just like the goofy sheep Antoine de St.-Exupery’s narrator drew for the little prince. Everyone back at the office thought I was nuts, but that lamb gave me a lot of comfort. My advice? (Not that you asked for it.) Don’t beat yourself up when you’re not feeling on top of the world. No sense adding guilt to the mix. Mood is like weather: it comes and goes. Hope today’s a good one for you. We are gleefully anticipating a high of 48 degrees!


  6. I build up a lot of toxic gunk if I’m not moving around enough. Then when I finally get going–usually because the dogs plead to go for a real walk instead of a pitiful little out’n’in–I grouse the whole way. Out loud. Right up until the time I see something that just knocks me out. There’s always something. Once my curiosity is awakened about something outside my own head, the rest of me wakes up too. Walks are good. (Realwalks, says Miss Sadie.) I’m sorry about the knee. Mine, too. I’m thinking about an Ace Bandage . . .


  7. It is about choices but when you feel down its hard to find a choice that feels good-they all look drab. I find it amazing that you manage to do as much as you do–music, dog school, blog posts, taking a walk–when life is gray all of those things take a lot of energy.
    I hope you will find someone to help you brighten your day, give you a hug and make sure you don’t feel disconnected and alone.


  8. Fresh air is good – how about you take your camera with you and use those walks as photo opportunities? Take pictures of things you would not ordinarily take a picture of. If you feel like grumping, do it while you walk. Working at a job is a necessary bridge that takes us where we want to end up, and that day will come. Maybe not as soon as you’d like, but it will come.


  9. I’m a bit of a natural pessimist. OK A lot! So I find that self motivation stuff quite hard! But you’re right about our outlooks influencing our mood. I love your philosophical posts! I’m going to show TNP the 101 things, how’s that going?


  10. Dee, funny you should ask about the 101…a couple days ago I was telling myself I need to pick out some of those things and get them done! 🙂


  11. Glad you got to get out for a walk. I could imagine it was harder to walk back to work. I’ll have to try reminding myself of the happy, happy, happy. That’s a good tip.


  12. Well,on the bright side I am glad you got out for a few minutes and had a nice zen walk. I have to say we have finally had some really great weather the past couple of days and it is making me feel so energized, hope the rest of the country gets some much needed sun and warmth, I would be happy to share-think it will help a lot of people once they get a little spring fever that comes with warm weather.


  13. Glad you were able to take a walk. It must be so hard to feel like you want to be doing something different. Sigh… It’s always a hard one deciding to let out your real feelings–or looking for new ways of thinking to see the situation in a new light. Hugs, Dawn…


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