Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Money doesn’t buy


I was mowing the lawn yesterday evening, thinking about Joan Rivers and her daughter Melissa, and how Melissa would have gotten the news out of the blue, a phone call or a text that change her life forever and how she would have stopped whatever she was doing and her plans would change as she rushed back to New York to make decisions no child wants to make for their parents and how probably she isn’t even sure about her feelings.  And how some people will say it’s easier for her, she has money, she has people to handle things.  But how no one will acknowledge that Melissa is now an orphan.

Because becoming an orphan as an adult doesn’t get the attention a younger child receives when both parents are gone.  Rightfully so I suppose.  Adult orphans are left to figure out the future on their own.  No matter how much money or people they have they don’t have their parents any longer.  And that fact will be pounded into Melissa each time she reaches for the phone to call her mother, each time she sees news reports, sees clips replayed, listens to people talk.

Money is good.  But it doesn’t buy confidence or self worth or love.  Parents instill that.

I wish Melissa the best as she heads down this new path that is her life.

Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

10 thoughts on “Money doesn’t buy

  1. that is true – having been an orphan since I was 21….there is a lot I missed out on – especially with my Mom…there is also so much of my own family history I will never know.


  2. beautifully stated! I am heartbroken about Joan and have been constantly telling my husband how awful I feel about Melissa. She didn’t get to speak to her Mom before she died 😦


  3. I woke up early, early this morning (still dark, very stormy) and read a little book called A WOMAN’S STORY, by Annie Ernaux. It’s the story of her mother’s life and death. “The following week, I kept remembering that Sunday, when she was alive, the brown socks, the forsythia, her mannerisms, her smile when I said goodbye, and then the Monday, when she was dead, lying in her bed. I couldn’t put the two days together.”

    Before that, I’d been up most of the night (off and on), reading A WORLD ELSEWHERE, by Sigrid MacRae, who lost her mother at age three and never felt she had a family until she married. There’s a whole lot more to her story (to put it mildly), but in both books the importance of one’s mother and the pain of losing her come through. I know it’s something I’ll face one of these days….

    Hugs, Dawn!


  4. I understand the confusion expressed by Ernaux. It just seems so impossible that someone is there one day and so absolutely and finally gone the next.


  5. Nicely stated, Dawn.


  6. YES!! Absolutely true. I remember when one of my friends lost her last parent, and she remarked that she was now an orphan. My heart almost broke for her, and I assured her she could think of my folks as hers. Not the same thing as having one’s own parents, but I hope the thought helped her.


  7. Yes, this is so true, Dawn. Money doesn’t insulate our heart. I can’t imagine what it will feel like to be an adult orphan. Also can not imagine losing a parent when one is young. Sigh…


  8. You are definitely aware of this and correct. It’s easy to be glib about celebrities, brushing off the fact that they are actually people. I wish her the best in friendships as she learns to steer her new life without either parent.


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