Wait! It’s WEDNESDAY? Are you sure? I haven’t known what day it is all week – I seem to live in perpetual confusion. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so I guess here it is Wednesday night. I should be finding a picture of Katie to post. I should be leaving all these words out.
But I guess I’m going rogue. (Do people still do that?)
Katie checked herself into the Doggie Ritz this morning because I’m doing a bit of traveling and she decided she wanted to be pampered instead. You believe that…right? Well let me tell you how last night and this morning went down.
The real truth.
Katie and I went to bed late. I like to be asleep by 9 or 9:30, and Katie usually falls asleep before then. But we were up running around getting me ready for that traveling thing I mentioned. So we went to bed about 11:30. She was restless. Me too, as we watched the Tonight Show monolog. She was on the bed, off the bed, looking for a good spot. We both finally fell asleep with the TV still playing.
Until I accidentally rolled over on the bed’s remote. Yes we have a high tech bed that moves. It also has a massage feature that basically makes a buzzing noise and vibrates the bed. It’s irritating and Katie hates it. And of course that’s the button that got pressed in my sleep.
Suddenly the bed is buzzing and shaking and Katie is pouncing and barking and I’m confused (my natural state) and I can’t find the remote and when I finally do I can’t read the buttons because it’s dark and I find the bedside lamp and I can’t read the buttons even then because I’m not wearing my glasses and I can’t find them and Katie is pouncing and barking and I can’t get the stupid bed to stop vibrating and I finally find my glasses and I still can’t figure out which stupid button on the stupid remote is the one to push to get it to stop! So I’m randomly pushing buttons and yelling at Katie and finally, finally the bed stops making it’s ruckus, though Katie continues expressing herself for awhile.
And then it is quiet. And 2:00 a.m.
Except for someone (not me) has got herself so worked up that she has to go outside. Where it’s freezing cold. But whatever. Out we go for a walk around the yard where she is interested in everything except doing her job. Eventually we head back inside. She flops down on the bed, rolls over on her back and is sound asleep instantly. Me? Wide awake
Until a bit before 4:00 a.m.
Katie does her normal “got to get the mama up” at 5:00. I tell her in no uncertain terms to GO LIE DOWN. She does. The alarm goes off at 6:00. She prances to the bathroom for my shower. I groggily follow. She’s going to camp this morning but she doesn’t know it, so I feel a bit of vindictive satisfaction as I shower away my sleepy headache. I’m going to drop her off at the kennel on my way to work, get to work early and get some stuff done. Yep. I’ve got it all worked out.
I hustle her into the car ignoring her “WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAMA! I DON”T GO TO WORK WITH YOU!!” look. She doesn’t make a peep the whole 35 minute as we drove through the dark, down the crowded freeway, and up to the front gate of the kennel. Which is closed. Because they don’t open until 9 a.m. on Wednesdays. I thought they opened at 6 but that’s only on Friday mornings. And this is not Friday morning even though it feels like it.
It is 7:30 a.m.
Decisions decisions. I can sit there and wait. I could continue on to work, leave her in the car and get some stuff done. Or we can go home. We went home. She doesn’t make a sound all the way. No complaining. No whining for attention, no barking. And when I lift the back hatch of the car and unzip her pen and she realizes she is home she does a happy dance. She expands to happy sheltie circles at the front door and delighted frenetic dancing as I give her the breakfast I had skipped earlier. I didn’t tell her we were going to do it all over again in about 40 minutes.
She figured she was home free.
In fact she’s so certain that she doesn’t even protest when I hustle her into the car again a little bit later and off we go. After all what’s another adventure with her crazy mama? And she likes to ride in the car. But when we pulled up to the kennel again there were six or seven cars full of people and dogs, and she realizes the truth. She starts to shake which makes everyone feel sorry for her. It’s part of her grand plan. But it doesn’t change the fact that the worst possible thing is going to happen.
Mama is going to leave her at the Doggie Ritz! And that mama doesn’t look the least bit guilty about it!
Tonight there is only peace and quiet in the house, and mama is going to bed early. She’s going to sleep all night; there will be no wandering around the yard under the stars.
I’m pretty sure of it.
If Katie could she would wish you and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving. I’m sure she will tell you all about her holiday weekend first chance she gets. I’m probably going to look like the villain again.
I’m pretty sure of that too.