I’m resting after more than a week at the lake house. A week filled with lots of water activities, lots of family, lots of sun, good food, laughter and quiet conversations.

Last night I randomly read blog entries from years past, blogs about hanging out at the lake. I came across this one written in 2010 that talked about being afraid to try water skiing after years of skiing only occasionally during summer visits.

It seemed appropriate because in the past couple days I’ve water skied twice. Neither time was for a very long distance, though I got up on the first try each time.

But it was still scary.

You think about how hard it’s going to be to get your heavier person up on that ski. How the boat will pull. Lots of water rushing over your head. Falling. You think maybe it’s best to retire from skiing. After all you’re older then you used to be. You’re no athlete. You might get hurt.

Then you think about your mom who was older than you are right now and still skied once a year just to prove she could. And you think about the fact the lake is absolutely still, the boat is running well, the sun is shining. There’s no one out there but your boat filed with your family.

It will never be any better than this.

So you put on the life jacket and whine a bit about being scared. You slide into the water and put on the ski which feels unfamiliar and clunky.

You feel clunky and awkward and the ski rope is moving as the boat slowly moves away from you and you can’t remember which side of your ski it’s supposed to be on and you can’t remember if you normally put your back foot into the boot or trail it as you get up. And you’re wobbling back and forth in the water and the rope is tight and everyone is waiting for you to say “HIT IT!” and so you do.

And the boat surges ahead and the water rushes over you and you remind yourself to just hang on. HANG ON and it will all work out. Balance over that ski and hang on. Let the boat do the work. And soon you’re popping up out of the water. Not gracefully. But you can breath.

You’re no expert skier, not throwing big rooster tail spray, not preforming tricks. You’re just out there, but oh the water is glass, the clouds are reflected beneath you, the sun is shining, the lake is beautiful and soft.

And you are smiling, because you are skiing through the clouds, and because you didn’t give up on yourself.

Lesson learned. Again.