Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.



Oh I bet you thought I’d be writing about a certain princess, one who lives here and rules the house from her princess pillow. Well, I could, but you’ve heard it all before, mostly from her I might add.

No, I’ve been thinking about how some people are portrayed on television, specifically on some of the real estate shows on HGTV, which is pretty much all I watch these days. So maybe it’s just this particular genre, maybe spoiled whining people aren’t everywhere on TV.

There are any number of shows these days that feature folks looking for their next home or their beach house, or their place in the mountains. Typically the camera follows them as they tour three houses, as they comment on the pros and cons of each.

And it seems like there’s usually someone who complains that the kitchens don’t have the latest and greatest, that they would “have to replace these counters right away,” or, about the master bedroom closet, “this is enough space for my clothes, you’ll have to use the closet in the spare room.”

I’m irritated the most when it’s the couple’s first home. Who says that your house has to have stone counters and stainless appliances? What happened to being thrilled at the prospect of buying your own first home regardless of the finishes? Make it about the view, or the proximity to family and I’d get it. Pouting about the faucets or the light fixtures seems petty.

And my second biggest irritant is when they are purchasing a beach house. Seriously, a beach house is meant to enjoy family time together at a beautiful location. It doesn’t matter if there’s a spa inspired master bathroom, or high end appliances. You’re going to be outside. That’s the point.

And in the end, when they are deciding which property to purchase, why does the woman almost always get her way? It’s almost a joke. Regardless of budget or what the partner thinks is important, there will be one house that she loves and that’s the way it’s going to end.

I don’t know. This doesn’t seem very true to life. I want them to put together a show that goes back to see these couples about three or four years later. The ones that couldn’t agree on anything, the couples where one was overbearing and mean to the other, the oh so young couples who buy the fixer upper but who obviously have no handy skills, I want to see if they’re still in that house, if they’re even still together.

Cause man, if one or the other is spoiled I have to think probably not.


Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

18 thoughts on “Spoiled

  1. I haven’t seen these shows, but you paint a very good picture. While nothing tickles me more than to see insides someone else’s house, I don’t think I could tolerate the buyers’ sense of entitlement you describe.


  2. Katie sure looks pretty in the dandys:) I watch those shows too…the comments about the appliances always disgust me. And the kitchen cupboards…and granite countertops…so fix it. I always see if I can tell which one they chose:)


  3. Dawn, you’re surprised that a reality TV show isn’t true to life? That made me chuckle. My wife and I also watch these shows sometimes. Netflix has had a few. Your thoughts mirrored ours: let’s come back a few years later.

    I remember my first house: our dining table was an ironing board until my dad picked up an old Formica dining set a friend had in his basement. Our first bed was a mattress on the floor.

    And those aren’t bad memories, either! Thanks for enlivening some memories that I haven’t thought about for years.


    • I don’t watch enough reality to get the fact that it’s all an act. Sometimes I think the producers must egg on couples to be more crabby than they might otherwise be, especially on camera. I guess it’s considered better TV if there’s some conflict.

      I remember my first house too, I was soooo thrilled to be buying it all by myself. When I finally got the key I went and opened my very own door all by myself and stood in my very own house, empty of anything but me and was so happy. Didn’t care what my counters were made from (turned out to be a pain in the you know textured vinyl that was impossible to keep clean) or what color the walls were (a dark blue that was a pain in the you know to paint over) or what my floors were (blue carpet over beautiful hardwood floors).


  4. Ya know… so close (across a couple of bridges) to the beach, I wanna know what these people do for a living to afford to even live on the beach. On our beach, the people don’t even own the property but have to pay taxes. Oh, yes–young couple, how do manage that? Even the old ’50’s cinderblock houses are out of my range. Let me know when real life is on TV, Dawn. I really want to see that.


    • I always wonder that too. Who can afford to be right on the ocean? Especially in those big beautiful houses. You ever notice there’s hardly ever anyone outside at those big houses? That’s because they’re always at work, have to pay for them! And when a young, first time homebuyer couple says their max budget is 800K, I have to wonder how do they DO that??

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve watched a few of those shows when we’re on the road (no cable here at home). I suppose HGTV doesn’t think people would find it interesting if there wasn’t some drama involved. Like you, I’d really rather see what happens after a few years. I suspect those couples will always be unhappy and if they do stay together, they probably move a lot so that everything is shiny and new.

    I’m always reminded of when my husband and I bought our first house. I cashed in my retirement (from the federal government — which would have been a pretty penny today!) so we could make the down payment. It was a small, ranch style house and the property line went down to the Ohio River. We spent a year or so looking for the Right House and this one was quite a find. It needed some work and love. All of our furniture at that time was stuff given to us by family or friends (leftovers, so to speak, and none of them antiques or in fantastic shape but all usable). When we went to sell the house (about 13 years later), it took what felt like forever (over a year) and the comments were things such as “I don’t like the blue paint in the bathroom.” I wanted to holler at people who complained about paint colors and tell them to just buy a can of paint and paint it! It’s not THAT hard. This was when “staging” a house was just starting to catch on.

    Sometimes I think people are either stupid or have no imagination. I can look at a wreck of a house and see that if it has good bones, it has possibilities.


    • I know I’m not good at seeing the potential. I hated this house when we bought it, it reminded me of a trailer, long and narrow…but husband saw where we could push the walls out and we ended up adding two additions, lots of windows, changed every wall inside, moved the basement stairs and now it’s almost unrecognizable and I like it a lot. Lovely views out to the backyard (you’ve seen the backyard in plenty of pictures), lovely big living room, and a kitchen that’s pretty special. Still, I imagine the next buyer walking into the kitchen and saying, “this is a gut job,” because it’s not white cabinets and marble counters like they want these days. If I wait long enough hickory cabinets and dark brown granite will be back in style.


  6. AMEN!! I don’t usually watch these shows by choice, but somehow, they always seem to be on in the dealer showroom when I’m getting my car serviced, and I find them most annoying. Gee, these couples can’t seem to agree on anything!


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  8. I found you via Maggie, so “hi!”

    I agree with you about those shows. I’ve seen them while waiting in docs’ offices, not because I wanted to see the show but because they were on the TV. The young couples infuriate the heck out of me. So spoiled and pampered and unrealistic. I like your idea of visiting them a few years down the road to see what’s happened to them. That’d be interesting.


  9. I watch a lot of those shows too, because it’s easy watching and there’s not a lot else on – one of my pleasures in watching is telling these spoiled couples how it is in real life. And I also wonder, as do you, how long they stay together. I have read that they have already purchased a house, and the show is scripted, so they show them looking at houses, then disclosing what they bought. Probably true. My first house needed a lot of attention – the linoleum on the kitchen floor was very worn, but then we discovered carpenter ants had gotten into the floor joists and the need to repair that overrode my desire for new floors. The furniture was hand-me-down, which I made slipcovers for and we were grateful to have it. I still do not have the house of my dreams, but you know what? It really doesn’t matter.


  10. I think maybe these shows are designed to promote consumption of luxury items. Certainly not to build character or life skills. Too bad. Makes me want to watch The Waltons.


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