Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

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Katie says it's a whole new world

We’re still enforcing the “OFF!” for the furniture, including the bed.  It’s very hard for us, harder for me than for my husband.  Sometimes we’re sitting on the sofa doing something and don’t even NOTICE when she jumps up and sits down next to us.  Of course the sooner we say “OFF!” the better, but once in awhile one of us notices the other person sitting on the sofa or asleep in bed with Katie curled right up against the totally unconscious person.  I have to say she’s not stupid!  She’ll try and if she gets an inch she figures she’s in like flyn.  NOT!  Mostly though she’s trying really hard to be good, though you can see she really wants to be next to us.

And to keep her busy…we’re in two classes this training session!  Last Thursday husband and I took her back to the rally class.  That’s 30 minutes of obedience and 30 minutes doing rally.  Katie kind of enjoys this because she understands what’s expected of her.  Though she HATES being put in a crate so that I can walk the rally course prior to us trying to execute it.  She backs right up if she figures out we’re heading over to the crates.  Here’s a picture of little Katie in a huge crate next to a huge dog in a middle sized crate.  The big dog next to her LOVES shelties, but Katie isn’t so sure she wants to initiate a friendship!

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Yesterday Katie, husband and I went to a beginning agility class.  There were only 6 dogs in this class so that was nice.  Katie loves to jump and run through the tunnel.  But she continued her fear of the dogwalk.  Sometimes I could get her to jump back on and walk down the other side, but as the class continued and we tried again she balked and refused to do anything whatsoever with the dog walk.   As for the teeter?  No way no how.   By the time we got to the teeter she wouldn’t go anywhere near it.  I’m sure it looked a lot like a dogwalk.  The other two dogs in my group (a poodle and a miniature aussie) of course had no trouble with anything.

This morning Katie and I went back to our rally class.  The agility stuff was still set up in a ring, and as we were early to rally we went over there so she could sniff it.  My rally instructor came out of the bathroom and stopped by to see what we were doing.  I told her about the dogwalk fear and she said let’s try!  She allowed me to put Katie on the top of the dog walk and as she spotted one side, I walked the other so Katie couldn’t jump off.  Katie walked down the ramp just fine.  But she was still scared to walk onto it herself.  Wednesday night the agility instructor wouldn’t let me pick up Katie and put her on anything.  Ah well.  We’ll see how it all works again next Wednesday night.  Husband dug out the plank I was using last summer and says he’ll put it up on a couple of concrete blocks so Katie and I can practice walking just slightly above ground on a board.  Maybe that will help!

Meanwhile, I took a picture today of Katie on the table.  She wouldn’t stay on it Wednesday night (she’s not allowed on furniture at home you know!) but she stayed on it today for me.  Such a girl.  And a picture of her sitting next to the dreaded dogwalk.  She looks happy, but I think it’s an act!

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Katie 2229Today in rally she was about perfect.  I got a shot of her in the line of other dogs doing her sits/downs.  She never moved, even though she was right at the end next to a fabric wall behind which were three owners who were practicing open sits/downs and had “left the room.”  They were talking quite loudly and she kept looking over that way but she never broke.  Even when one of them sneezed!!  And then someone knocked over a CHAIR for heavens sake!  She flinched but didn’t move.  I’m very proud of her for that.

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We’re also working on “Paw” where I ask for her left hand.  She’s obviously a right handed dog as she wants to offer “Shake.”  But sometimes she will raise her left paw fractionally and she almost always shifts her weight over to her right foot when I ask for PAW!  So that’s some progress.

Sweet girl.

Aug 22 07


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Haiti

I feel an extra emotional connection while I watch news footage of the massive 7.0 earthquake in Haiti.  It doesn’t look like many structures survived, and there are likely thousands dead.  The extra little tug I feel is caused by the fact that the truck driver that killed Dad in 2004 was from Haiti.  He had been in the US only a couple of years.  Likely he has family still in Haiti.

I only saw him once; at his only court appearance.  For whatever reason, killing someone with a semi is only a misdemeanor.  So when we went into a Georgia court to find out how he was going to plead we were dismayed to find ourselves in a courtroom filled with people there for nonpayment of child support, under age drinking and one guy who had burned tires in his yard without a permit.  Then there was us.  We were the only people there dressed in suits, other than one man and his attorney.  We knew instantly that the well dressed man nervously sitting with an obvious attorney was “our” driver.  Turns out he had been advised to plead “no contest” which doesn’t admit guilt but also meant he didn’t have to go to trial.  I think his attorney had worked out a deal with the Prosecutor that if he plead no contest he’d get off with probation.  They didn’t count on our family showing up from all over the country and providing the judge with heartfelt impact statements.

We had a wonderful judge that allowed us to make our impassioned statement and who took the time to silently read statements we had sent to the Prosecutor previously.  I remember  being in that courtroom, my brother standing beside our driver reading the family’s statement of grief and loss.  I remember the driver rocking back and forth on his toes not looking at us.  I remember the noisy courtroom hushing as people realized what we were talking about.  I remember the stifled sound of  sobs from some women, people we didn’t know, when my brother said that my sister couldn’t listen to Christmas music without crying anymore.  I remember a court officer, guarding the back door, wiping his eyes.

We wanted some jail time, to make the point that killing someone wasn’t just the cost of doing business, and the judge gave the driver the most she could, 30 days.  We were grateful.  The driver’s attorney protested loudly, saying that people fell asleep driving all the time.  The judge responded with a quote from our impact statement; “We expect more from professional drivers.”  The driver was escorted out and it was done.

The judge asked for a recess, and we all started to move out of the room.  Along the way people we didn’t know and would never meet again stood up, offered their hands and condolences.  It took some time to get out of the room.  Out in the hall I felt a bit of a letdown as I moved toward the exit.  Then I realized none of my family was with me, and I turned back to find them.  They were standing in a clump in the middle of the hall…with the judge, still in her robes.  She had come out to tell us she was sorry.  She was sorry about our loss, and she was sorry she couldn’t have done more.  She didn’t understand, you see, that we were thrilled with her ruling.  We had been warned that he would likely get off with probation and that we would probably be disappointed in the process.  Instead she did just as we asked, and we thanked her for that.  She had tears in her eyes.  So did we.

The driver  risked being deported back to Haiti by pleading no contest to a misdemeanor.  I have no idea if he ended up being sent back but I hope not.  It has always been my hope that he was able to stay and raise his two children here, that he turned out to be as fine a dad as ours was, that he used the lessons he learned from this experience to raise wonderful, contributing children. That in his own way he makes the world a better place  just like Dad made the world a better place.

So as I watch the footage of Haiti I hope that he and his family are not there.  I hope they are safe in Florida and that he has found peace.  But I know that very likely someone he loves has died a horrible violent death and that even if he is not there himself  he now knows the intesne grief that sudden death brings to survivors.  I hope he can cope, I hope he has the support we had.  And still have.

I wish him and his family well.


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Going to the library can result in a flu shot. Really.

Actually I have two stories about going to the library and getting a flu shot.  Imagine that!  The first was earlier in the fall when I planned on stopping at the county health department to get my flu shot while heading over to a library to drop off an employment application.  I found the health department after much driving around the huge county complex while muttering to myself about the lack of directional signs.  I traipsed up to the door only to find a sign that said “Sorry, no flu shots today, please check our website for next available flu shot dates.”  This really ticked me off because I had checked their website about an hour before I left the house.

So anyway.  I continued my trip out to the library to drop off the resume, employment application, cover letter and all.  And guess what?  There in the library’s community room was a lonely nurse giving  flu shots!  She had 15 more minutes till the end of  the program and nothing to do.  So I dropped off the employment paperwork and got my flu shot all at the same location!  Go figure.

Today, husband and I were somewhat bored.  So I suggested we go to our local library.  He sat there reading the paper and I looked for books.  When we were ready to go he said that he had read the county health department was doing the H1N1 shots for FREE and they were open today till 8!  Well!  We drove right over there and were the only ones in line.  Success!

Just goes to show what an integral part of community life public libraries really are!  I sure hope I get to work in one again soon.

Dawn 119


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Update (smile)

So after I made Katie get off the bed (see initial post below) she sulked off and I went  back to sleep.  About 40 minutes later husband woke up and asked where Katie was.  I said I didn’t know, she hated me and had wandered off mad.  He got up, searched all over the house and couldn’t find her.  When he came back to the bedroom he happened to glance over at the crate that she hasn’t used in over a year.

There she was, curled up in her crate!  And even odder, she didn’t get up and follow him around while he looked all over the house for her!  Cause she’s ticked off!  And maybe because her crate is her safe place.  Which isn’t a bad thing at all.

Silly girl!  (image is from her puppyhood.  Long, long ago)

resized Katie in crate


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Getting dressed

I started laughing this morning as Katie and I were getting ready to go outside to do her business.  All she had to do was get the leash clicked on her collar.  I, on the other hand, put on boots, my husband’s double heavy work coat, ear muffs, heavy gloves, pulled the hood up and considered whether or not I needed a scarf.

She waited somewhat patiently, staring intently at the closed door.  Finally I was ready for our 5 minute trek into the 7 degree morning and we ventured out.

She did her job in a minute or two and turned to come back inside, where I unclicked her leash and she dashed off.  I, meanwhile, shed the boots, earmuffs, gloves, heavy jacket and sighed.  She was already on the bed where she wasn’t supposed to be.

OFF!

Katie 1256


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New sheriff in town

Katie 2227 We’ve had some issues with Katie that have been building and becoming more severe.  Mostly we’re frightened that she will lunge and bite someone the way she lunges and shows her teeth at us when unexpected sharp noises occur at home.  We can’t sneeze, tear tinfoil, change the garbage bag, or vacuum without risking getting attacked by a snarling hysterical dog.  Well that’s not good.  My 75 year old aunt sneezed and Katie hit her right in the hips and knocked her into the kitchen cupboards.  So you can see the problem.

Today we had an animal behaviorist come out to the house.  He’s someone I’ve used occasionally for obedience training in the past, but Katie doesn’t know him well.  He spent an hour and a half talking to us and evaluating Katie.  Luckily Katie displayed some of her bad behavior when he pulled tissue from the box and sneezed.    He was so good with her.  He showed us how to slowly desensitize her over several weeks.

And more importantly he told us we had to show her we were the leaders of the pack, and that there was a “new sheriff” in town.  No more jumping on the furniture,unless she’s invited, no more sleeping with us. (at least for 30 days, then we can invite her to sleep with us one day a week for another 30)   Her toys are put up and we give her one to  play with when we feel like it, and we take it back when we feel like it.  She gets to eat when we allow it, after 20 minutes whatever is left in the bowl is put up for awhile, and then we award it to her again later on.  She has to earn all the things she wants.

The trainer says that Katie is actually acting out of fear and that she will be much more comfortable when she doesn’t feel like she has to control everything, because she can trust us to handle stuff, to be the leaders of her pack.  So we’re going to try.  Heavens, we don’t want our Katie-girl to be afraid and on guard all the time.  Though the on-guard part is in her genes I think!

This is so HARD for me!!!  She always snuggles up on the bed in the evening with me.  Tonight I have to tell her “OFF!” over and over.  But she’s getting it.  She’s sleeping next to the bed now.  I sort of miss her though.  Husband and I played with her seperately this evening.  We each picked out one of  her favorite toys, played for awhile then put them away.  I think I am going to miss her bringing me her favorite toy.  But the point is that WE are the ones that decide when to play, not her.  Because there’s a new sheriff in town and it’s not her!

We’ll be doing the desensitizing tissue work every day for a week.  Then we’ll be desensitizing her to us sneezing for another week at least.  Then we’re going to have to go find people that are willing to come over and sneeze!  He says the best thing would be if we can teach her to do a trick when we sneeze..like roll over or something.  But at worst (and this would be fine) she should not jump on the person sneezing!

Since we can’t afford to allow her to hurt someone, we’re taking this very seriously.  BUT IT’S HARD!!  She looks like an angel doesn’t she.  Don’t let her fool you; just try sneezing!

Katie 2215


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Bye bye Christmas

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We packed up Christmas in our handy dandy new red and green tubs.  No more digging through dusty boxes in the basement looking for stuff.  All the tubs are labeled.  I don’t believe I’ve ever been this organized!

But with the last tub put away I felt a slight twinge.  A bit of sadness that happens every time I take Christmas down.  I already miss the lights and festivities, the cards from family and friends, the visits, the music.  I know, I know.  It’s only been a couple weeks.  But still.

Here are some last glimpses of Christmas past:

Pretty lights…

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King Christmas 2009 093

multi generational guests…

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brilliant flowers…

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and the fixings for fattening food!

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Sigh.  Just going to have to wait till next year I guess.

King Christmas 2009 111


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Settling down

I met a woman once, not so long ago, who was expressing her unsettled feelings.  I only met her a couple of times, but each time she was rapidly and intensely expressive about how she wished she had made different decisions, always anxious about whether or not something else might have been better.  She described how she moved from job to job thinking the next thing would be the best, how she moved her family into a big house thinking that would be the best, her children into a private school wanting the best for them.   How she had to take a different, higher paying job to pay for the all the decisions she had made and now how tired she was, stressed out and not at all sure that anything was best after all.  That in reality her family had been the most happy in their small cozy home, kids in public school, she at a job she liked.

She reminds me of me.  Internally, though I rarely express it aloud, I too wonder if  living in a different place would be better, a different (or any right now!) job would make me happier, if living alone would be better for me than living with someone else.  And yet I know from experience that when the work world was busy I wished it would slow down, and when it slowed down I worried that the work would never come back.  I remember when I lived alone and wished there was someone else there.  Why is it such a difficult thing to appreciate what we have right now while we have it?  Why can’t we just be happy with what we have?  Why must we wonder what it would be like if...

Yesterday I purchased a teapot.  You’d be right to wonder what that has to do with being satisfied with life as it is.  It’s just that I’ve wanted a teapot for a long time.  A really long time.  And last night while my husband and I were out shopping for other things we wandered by the teapots and actually stopped and picked one out.   So now I have a little spot of color in my kitchen, and I’m sitting with a hot cup of tea watching the birds outside my window while fragrant meatloaf is baking in the oven.

I think for the moment I’ll learn from the lady with her frantically scattered fearful thoughts  and just sit here enjoying what I have.  I have beautiful birds outside, finches and chickadees and nuthatches, cardinals and a big woodpecker, titmice and sparrows.  I have Katie asleep nearby and a husband off in the den.  Dinner is in the oven.  The sun is sort of shining.  I don’t have to be anywhere tomorrow.  And I’m reading a great book; “Night Gardening” by E. L. Swann.

I think I am content.

funky art 057


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Snow play

Late in the afternoon yesterday Katie and I went outside to play Frisbee in the snow.  Man what a fun time that was!  Here’s what the back yard looked like before we started to play:

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She can hardly wait to get going.  Can you see her little pink tongue sticking out in anticipation?

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And then she was off! Running and catching and bringing it right back so I could throw it for her again!

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Sometimes she’d pick up the Frisbee and dump a whole load of fluffy snow into her face.  Didn’t slow her down though!

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We had the best time!  Even when a noise distracted her she mostly stayed close and always came right back when I put on my school voice and demanded her to do a recall.   Even after she realized I hadn’t brought any treats with me.  I think next time I’ll take treats out and let her know I have them just to be sure since we don’t have a fenced back yard and I’m always a bit nervous.  Anyway, this is what the yard looked like after we finished playing.

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She and I had a really good time.  Now she’s dozing in my reading chair, letting the Christmas tree lights mesmerize her as she daydreams about flying through the air and making that perfect catch.

Silly but very special girl.

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