This weekend I am concentrating on large final projects for all four of my classes.  I’m writing sections of big papers, considering how to approach a poster for a final presentation, looking for art resources to support a database project, worrying how to figure out a budget for an imaginary nonprofit that I created for my grant-writing class.  Plus I need to learn how to blog on my job’s website.  That’s a requirement of my position, and it’s not that I don’t know how to blog…it’s that I haven’t figured out how to do it on their site. Or what to blog about for work.

I worked on these projects until after 2:00 this morning or so I thought.  Turns out it was until after 3:00 a.m.  I hadn’t noticed that the clock in my computer had “fallen back” to signify the end of daylight savings time sometime during my six hour writing marathon.  When my back ached and my head ached and my eyes would no longer stay open I thought it was a little after 2:00.  But when I looked at my watch it was after 3!  Katie the dog had long since given up and gone to bed herself.  She was up this morning at 6:00 sheltie time, wanting her breakfast.

This morning I am heading out the door, back to Ann Arbor to do a free lab, practice some stuff for my online searching class that confuses me.  Then I will find a quiet spot and begin writing again, either the grantwriting project or the beginning of the 20 page archival final paper.  

It’s all good.  I’m working on the final pieces of each of the classes in my next to last semester.  I have mapped out some course options for my last semester that starts in January.  I have an advising appointment to review that schedule next week.  Everything seems to be charging toward graduation in April.  I don’t think I could stop this train if I wanted to.  And I don’t want to stop it.  What a ride!

Last night as I waited in the dark out on North University for my bus I noticed how the street lamps on campus were shining amid the deeply colored leaves of fall.  The trees looked beautiful lit up that way, leaves turning in the cool autumn wind.  And then I noticed a flag attached to the nearest light pole, hanging just above my head.  It said “150 years of Chemistry at Michigan.”  I smiled as it reminded me that Dad had graduated from Michigan with a degree in chemical engineering just over 50 years ago, and the sign over his head might have said “100 years of Chemistry at Michigan.”  But they probably didn’t have such things in those days. 

As I’m thinking about this I realize that I’m across the street from the bell tower where Mom went to music school, standing under a sign and near the old chemistry building where Dad went to school.  Sometimes it feels overwhelming, but I was startled to find my cheek wet.  Tears?  I didn’t feel sad so tears would have surprised me.  No, not tears.  It had just begun to spit a cold October rain. 

I’m sitting in the stacks of the graduate library again.  Got into some research and didn’t realize the time was slipping away.  Also didn’t realize tonight is Halloween.  By the time I get home it will be too late to pass out goodies.  Which is just as well as I didn’t have time to buy any goodies, and we live in the country and don’t get many kids anway.  Still.  I should be home.  I’m hoping the house avoids getting egged or toilet papered by little (or large) disappointed costumed persons.

Plus I’m really hungry.  It’s time to pack up and catch that bus back to the car for the journey home.  Some research is done, some is not.  Tomorrow is another day.

Last night I got off work at 9 and took the bus back out to my car.  I got to ride in one of the new hybrid buses.  And guess what?  It has a “new car” smell!

Today I spent a bit of time eating a salad while sitting at the base of the UM bell tower as someone played the carillon.  I couldn’t put my finger on what the piece of music was, but it was relaxing to sit in the sun and listen to it float down from the top of the tower.  I let the stress of an overloaded study weekend seep away from my neck and shoulders.

Mom got her music education degree from UM in the 50’s.  She had classes in the bell tower, so inevitably I thought about her as I listened and ate.  Seems strange that she might have sat right where I was sitting, listening to the bells as I was listening.  More likely she’d have been up there watching, wishing she were playing.

I finished my salad about the time that the concert ended.  The last wisps of music floated away, leaving only the sounds of dry leaves blowing along the sidewalk and the squeak of bus brakes out on the road.

If you are busily vacuuming up dirt and leaves tracked in by your puppy, mumbling about the extra work a puppy creates, and as much as you vacuum, there appears more bits of dirt, and you remember that puppy is outside….you should check the bottoms of your own shoes.

I have bits and pieces of thoughts today.  It hasn’t been a productive study day, though it should have been.  The government research homework is very difficult and after several hours I have successfully answered zero out of 6 questions.

I moved on to do some  research for my archives final paper.  My internet went down halfway through the first potentially good article I found.  I moved on to read a book.  Good ole books, you just can’t beat them for reliability! 

Which brings me to another, only partially related, topic.  Yesterday as I was working at a branch of the library I found myself with time on my hands and I began to straighten shelves.  (Librarians do that sort of thing.)  So as I’m straightening I keep finding books that I think would be fun or nice or interesting to read.   I pull them out and puruse them, only to put them back on the shelf; I have no time to read anything that isn’t a requirement of one of my classes.  I feel sad.  I miss books.

Which leads me, in a round about way, to my third unrelated topic.  As I was driving home from work last night listening to a book on tape (the only way I get to read anything fun!) I noticed my rear view mirror was totally orange, and up in front was a beautiful rainbow.  I pulled into a parking lot to look at the sky without causing a chain reaction wreck.  The sky to the west was solid orange clouds, the sky to the east was grey with a beautiful, full rainbow.  It was amazing.  And then it began to rain, and the orange faded away, as did the rainbow.  But what a gift it was that I got to see it!

Which brings me to my fourth and last unrelated topic.  Today Dad has been in my head off and on.  Sometimes he interferes with my work and I have to stop and gaze outside, straining to  remember little things.  During my computer breakdown earlier today I decided to read the newspaper.  Mitch Albom had an article on the 10th anniversary of his book “Tuesdays with Morrie” in which he said that Morrie taught him that death ended a life but not a relationship, and that as long as he could hear Morrie’s voice in his head he wouldn’t forget him.  Which I guess is what I’d been trying to do all day today.  Remember.  Not let go.  Keep him close.  But Mitch and Morrie both say I shouldn’t be afraid.  The relationship stands, the voice is still in my head.  Dad’s not so far away.

Yesterday I noticed for the first time Ann Arbor city buses labeled as hybrid, with logos plastered on their sides “powered by biodiesel and hybrid technology.”  WOW!  How neat is that? 

There is a red hybrid car parked at the Park and Ride lot each morning when I arrive.  Just think, that driver can use less fossil fuel getting to the lot, then hop on a bus that uses less fossil fuel while getting to work!  To do better than that you’d have to ride your bike.  Or walk. 

I’m staying in Ann Arbor for much of this week.  I’m lucky to have a comfortable guest room and accommodating relatives that allow me to follow my schedule with little thought to interupting theirs.  It’s much easier to eliminate the commute, hours spent behind the wheel are now spent in research or writing or reading or just contemplating.

But I miss my husband.  And my dog.  Really, even the dog.  So tomorrow I will commute again.  Meanwhile I try to use every moment of every day that I’m here to make a dent in the mountain of projects that have accumulated while I wasn’t paying attention.

Midterm anxiety.  So typical.  It will end, regardless of how I spend my days, midterms will end.

Here I sit, on this beautiful Sunday afternoon, in a study carrel on the fourth floor of the graduate library. It has a door and a window, and it’s pretty quiet, except when the guy in the next carrel gets a call or shifts in his chair. But then I’m shifting in my chair as well, so we’re even I’m sure.

There’s no view to speak of, if I had chosen a carrel on the other side I think I would have been looking at pretty trees and S. University. Or maybe not. I don’t have much spatial ability and am pretty turned around.

On my drive to Ann Arbor this morning I reflected that it was a beautiful day for a marathon, sunny blue skies, beautiful trees, cool temperatures. I wished with all my heart that I was there running instead of driving to a study date with a library. Even though I like libraries.

But once here I settled down and got a lot done for my midterm on Friday. Currently I am working on the long final project for my grant writing class. I have to turn in half of it this Thursday. I’m up to page 17 now, and not finished with this first half. My neck aches, hence the break to blog.

In reality I guess this little carrel where I sit and slave over the appropriate words to describe my grant proposal is bigger than many prisoners of war have. Not much cleaner though. And so far no one has stopped by to bring me lunch. But all in all, not a bad place to work.