Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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Agility-not

Tonight Katie and I were scheduled for another agility class.  But it’s been a misty kind of day and by evening it was starting to rain.  So the class got canceled.  But Katie was all wound up; I’d told her we were going to school, I’d thawed out her favorite turkey for treats.  I’d packed the car with her special princess pink agility leash.  She wanted to go Go GO!  So we worked a little bit in the driveway and on a plank I bought which was in the backyard.

Tuesday I went to the orange home improvement store and bought an 8 foot long 12 inch wide plank, some spray paint and a couple of orange cones.  At last week’s agility class Katie had been afraid of the dogwalk and the A-frame, so I’m hoping I can get her used to walking on boards that are painted yellow and blue.

Yesterday I put the plank out in the yard and we “walked the board!” several times.  This is Katie at the end of our session.  “Let’s get going, I’m not afraid of any stinkin board Mom!”

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Today I painted the board and we walked it some more.  Too bad there was no class, because she’s got “walking the board” down now I think.  We’ll have to see what happens when the board is elevated.

katie-1636We also did a little heeling around our cones in the driveway.  That turkey sure was motivating, as she was very attentive.  But it wasn’t as fun as going to agility class and getting to run and jump and visit with other dogs.  Oh well.  Maybe we’ll be able to go again someday!

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Age is but a number. But my number is bigger that I realized.

Lately I’ve begun to realize that I’m a lot older than I thought.   I think the fact that we never had children kept me, in an odd way, young.  I didn’t have a measuring stick of time going by, didn’t watch a child head off to kindergarten, graduate from high school, have kids of their own.  Somewhere in the back of my mind I’m still just out of school.  Ok.  Not just out of high school, but certainly just out of college.  Undergrad college, when the future was bright and all things were possible.  Forgotten is the fact that I graduated in the late 70’s when we were in a recession and there were no jobs.  Or that when I got out of grad school the first time with my MBA it was the late 80’s when there were no jobs.  And here I am again, a year out of grad school, working part time in a public library when everything is crazy, there are no jobs, funding is being cut and savings are being drained.  But I digress.

I’ve always thought that the future was endless, that all possibilities were open, that there was time to try everything I’ve ever been interested in.  Whenever something came along that sounded fun I’d add it to the list of things to do “some day.”  It’s only been recently that I’ve begun to realize that there are not infinite “some days” out there, and that possibly, just possibly I’m not going to get around to doing all the things on my wish list.  Oddly enough this realization is happening in part because I’m working at a library.

At the library I get to work with lots of people, all ages, and while I like working with such a wide variety of people, my favorite group has always been senior citizens.  Especially senior citizen readers.  What’s becoming clear to me is that some of these seniors are not much older than I am!  This is a shock and not one I’m adjusting to gracefully!  As I’m registering new patrons for library cards and entering their data into the system I’m beginning to notice birth dates.  And the most difficult thing for me to reconcile is that many of these adults are people that could have been my children!  They were born as I was graduating from college the first time.  And they have children of their own who could be my grandchildren!

I think in my prior life, when I didn’t have access to actual birth dates I went along thinking that everyone was pretty much my age, whatever age that was.   I had no proof that life was moving ahead, time was slipping away.  Now I do, and I’m going to have to figure out how to deal with it.  There are lots of things I still want to do and  I always figured I’d get to it all.  Now I think I may have to condense a few things or leave them off the list entirely.  Might never learn to fly that plane.  Might never live in a downtown loft,  out in a tiny cabin in the middle of my own 50 acres, or on the shores of a Great Lake.  Might not write that great American novel.  Might not bike from coast to coast, or hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Might be that all the marathons I’ll run have already been run.  Maybe I won’t have time to learn another language, get that PhD, or start a nonprofit.  Maybe I won’t make a difference in one student’s life, put someone through college or get on-board recorders mandated on all big trucks.  Maybe not in this lifetime.

Then again.  Just might.

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Tricky t-day

Katie and I are supposed  to be working on tricks for Ludo’s tricky t-day.  We are working on cross paws.  But since I don’t have a video camera, and we haven’t mastered the trick yet we don’t have much to tell you!  I use the word “cross” and sometimes she will cross one paw over the other.  But mostly she thinks I’m a little crazy.  Some of you have been successful at this trick, so any hints would be good.  I’m pointing to where her paw should go…I’m sure there are better ways.

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Some of this and a little of that

katie-1628 Katie and I survived a full night of camping out in the back yard last night.  It was soothing to listen to the rain as it fell off and on throughout the night, and we had an early morning wakeup call from a couple of robins about 5:30.  For the most part Katie and I had a nice snooze and we’ll do it again soon I think.  I’ve packed up the tent so that Daddy can mow the grass.

At work yesterday I was searching for a book in the teen fiction area, a part of the library I really don’t have much experience with.  The book was not to be found, so I began to look for it throughout all the shelves.  Along the way I realized there were several titles I was interested in reading, and recognized with a start that there was no reason I couldn’t.  I’m planning on grabbing a few titles next time I’m in that branch.  Another chance to read “outside my box.”

Today I glanced out the laundry room window and thought I saw a big rock in my neighbor’s long gravel driveway.  Then the rock moved and I realized it had legs.  And a head.  So I ran outside with a camera, and this is what I saw.

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It’s a snapping turtle, about a foot long, maybe 10 inches wide.  She wasn’t very happy with me so I took my pictures and retreated back across the road and down into a little dip where I could watch her without appearing to be threatening.  She sat for a long moment, then kept on moving toward the pond.  I think she had been out laying eggs somewhere.  She moved very delibertly, picking up one giant foot, plopping it down and then doing the same with the another foot.  Even so she moved quite quickly and was soon safe in the pond.  Very fun to watch.

Katie and I went to PetCo today.  Apparently it was adopt a dog day and there were lots of people and dogs outside.  I probably wouldn’t have gone today if I had known.  After we made our purchases we drove to the park.  That too was full of people, a family celebrating some sort of event complete with a giant blow up jumping house in the shape of Thomas the Train, and a little league softball game going on, teams in uniforms, each side with a mess of people cheering them on.  Katie and I decided to skip the practice in our normal area, and went for a walk in the field instead.  Just as fun.

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So that’s the news from up in Michigan on a Sunday.  Nothing earth shattering.  But sometimes that’s a good thing.


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Agility and the big campout

katie-1145 Last night Katie and I had the opportunity to do a little agility again.  It’s been a very long time since we have tried this, and I was worried that she wouldn’t remember anything.  I was wrong.  She remembered that she hates the dogwalk and the A-frame, refusing to begin them, and only tentatively maneuvering them when she was placed on top of each.  We didn’t even attempt the teeter.  She still likes to do the tunnel and she loves to run and jump.  She even did weaves pretty good with me guiding her through them.  Most of her weave problems were caused by me not being able to handle the hand with the leash (and her) and the hand with the cheese through all the poles.  The chute was OK, but someone was holding up the end so I think she thought it was just another tunnel.

Anyway, we had great fun, ran a lot and generally wore ourselves out.  Which is why I had great hopes for our first night this summer of CAMPING OUT in the back yard!  I’ve been having that soulful wish to camp out for awhile. Warm afternoon sun entices me to spend the night listening to the frogs singing in the cool summer night air. Since I am off work today, and lack of sleep wasn’t going to be a big issue, I put the tent up yesterday afternoon.  Katie and I explored it before we went to agility.  And late last night I headed out with tons of blankets, pillows, a flashlight, water…and of course Katie.  katie-camping-resized-august-16-2008

She didn’t settle in right away; she had to circle the permiter of the tent several times, flop down, get up and do it all over again.  Finally she settled on “her” pillows near a little doggie window and stood guard while I fell asleep.  For a minute anyway.  I was awakened  by barking and her jumping on me.  We did this a few times before she crawled up on the blow up bed (I’m not THAT much into old fashioned camping and sleeping on the ground!) stole all my pillows and went to sleep.  I scrunched further down under my pile of blankets and went to sleep too.  For a minute.  I woke to her jumping on my head and barking.  After awhile we settled down again.  For a minute.  This went on for perhaps an hour, and then she sighed, curled into a small ball, her nose in her tail at the foot of the bed and we both went to sleep.

I think our first night of camping out might have been successful if I had not woke up in the middle of the night, about 3, having to go to the bathroom.  She was still curled in a tiny ball at the foot of the bed, sound asleep.  It was FREEZING, I think we were somewhere in the low 40’s and my feet and nose were cold.  I decided our little camping experiment could end, and I woke her up, put on some shoes and attempted to crawl out of the tent.  She didn’t want to go!  Silly dog!  I finally picked her up (good thing she’s a little dog!) and we tromped back into the house with it’s indoor plumbing, heat, and king size mattress.

My husband thinks Katie and I are nuts.  He’s probably right.

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All things Katie

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Katie got a package from Reilly yesterday!  She was very excited about it; she doesn’t get much mail, and hardly ever anything as good as what Reilly sent!  I was pretty excited too, especially about the bags that go on a leash!  No more walking around with a grocery store bag hanging out of my back pocket!  I can be doggy-chic!

Katie of course was all about the treats!  Notice the focus she achieves when a special treat is there just for the grabbing!

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Thank you very much Reilly!  You are the best!

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Diversion

I have many more thoughts about our  forced retirement, but I thought you’d get a smile out of a short story from my library world instead.

A patron dropped off a bunch of books to be checked back into the library this evening.  I didn’t actually see the patron, just heard the thunk of  books landing inside the drop box.  Eventually I had a moment so I dug them out of the box and began scanning.   Here’s a list of titles:

125 Ways to Meet the Love of  Your Life

Dating Makes You Want to Die; but you have to do it anyway

You Didn’t Hear It From Us – Two Bartenders serve women the truth about men

Never Kiss a Frog – A girl’s guide to creatures from the dating swamp

How to Date Men

I started to giggle.  Softly of course, it is after all, a library.   My immediate thought was that if she wants to date more men she probably needs to get out of the library.  On the other hand, some of the nicest guys I’ve ever met go to a library regularly…so maybe she’s onto something!


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PS:

PS:  Today while between patrons I quickly checked my email, wondering if there’d be news about GM.  I found several messages from friends across the country expressing support and concern for my husband and me.  I didn’t even know what the news was yet, but my eyes filled up with tears at the wonderful amount of support we were receiving.   I can’t say thanks enough guys.  You know who you are!  The next patron pretended he didn’t notice me crying, and I pretended I wasn’t.  It all worked out.


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Is it the worst of times? Or the best of times?

Today General Motors filed for bankruptcy. We’ve known this was inevitable for months, but still  held out delusional hope.  Living with the uncertainty has been rough, trying to figure out all the possibilities, what each might mean to us, which permutation  would be better or worse for us.

So now we know for sure that husband’s assembly plant will become idle in September. At least it isn’t being closed outright, but there’s no guarantee that a car will ever again be assembled there. So in reality we’re still in limbo. Should he retire now? Or take unemployment and see what happens next?  Will the job he does now continue through September?  Or will he be forced to retire in July?  When they idle the plant will there be maintenance work for him to do?  Or is it best to take the buyout and walk now; leave all that stress behind?

We had planned on having him retire in a couple of years, so this is really just a bit early. So maybe this is the best of times. It’s a major change in our lives and will warrant more discussion, more thought, and a good bit of adjustment for each of us.  I’m not working full time and the decision would be easier if I were still working at my previous career.  I’m trying not to feel guilty that I left a lucritive career to move into something that pays so little.  And that I’m still part-time to boot.  Who knew back in 2006 when I made that decision where we’d be today.  I’m sure I could go back to that life, but I’m not ready to give up my dream yet.

So.  Is this the worst of times?  Or the best?

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Not so successful day at doggie school

katie-450 Katie and I had an opportunity to drop into a competitive obedience class this morning. Most Saturday mornings I have to work, but for whatever reason my random schedule has me working 5-9 tonight. I like that this class has a drop-in policy that just costs me $10 to attend, whenever I can make it.

The problems began almost immediately. Even though Katie and I have on occasion gone to the park and practiced our heel, you wouldn’t know it. She’s better when we do a little bit, but every day. So while we were doing the heeling in a big circle we were pretty much out of control the whole time.

Plus to add to the excitement there was a little papillon that Katie had never met before.  In fact, I don’t think she’s ever seen a dog this small!  You can go here http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/papillon.htm to see a picture of a papillon.  Whenever we got near Coco Katie would jerk at the leash and try to sniff.  She couldn’t take her eyes off of the cute little thing.  Finally, midway through the class I asked Coco’s owner if it was OK for Katie to meet Coco.  We tried to get them to meet, but Coco was barking at Katie, and Katie was bowing down barking, or backing up barking.  I think Katie thought Coco was a SQUIRREL!  Squirrel alert Mom!!  Right here in class too!!!!

Katie did OK with her stand for exam.  She moved a bit, but at least it was toward the male “judge” instead of shyly backing away.  And she stood for me when I asked her, which she doesn’t always do.  We need to work on that more, but it’s hard to find strangers who will go up to her and pet her!

Then we did sits and stays.  What a disaster!  I don’t know what was up, but Katie was done with school.  On her sit (which was only 2 minutes) she got almost to the end, watching the other dogs get up and get set back down.  Then she just stood up and began wandering around!  What’s up with THAT?!  I got her to sit again by just yelling sit from halfway across the room, and she did.  It was like “OOPS!  I forgot MOM!”  Then on to down and stay.  Well.  There isn’t even a word for the disaster this turned out to be.  She almost immediately popped up into a sit.  I went back and couldn’t get her down for the longest time.  She popped up again a bit later.  I went back and eventually got her into a down again.  The third time she popped up into a stand I went and got her and moved her out of the line.  She was too distracting to everyone.  And I know she can do this, she just couldn’t do it today.

Her recalls from across the room were both beautiful.  She loves to run, and she looks beautiful doing it.  She gets a gold star for that.

All in all I can’t blame her.  We just haven’t been working on this stuff enough.  She needs to be outside in the park or the yard doing each of these things every day.  I just need to make myself get her out there.  I know I won’t be able to go to any trials, as I work every weekend, and maybe that’s why I haven’t been motivated.  But it’s like training for a marathon and then not being able to run the race.  You still get the benefit from the training.  So I have to remember that Katie and I will still enjoy our relationship more if we both understand the obedience rules.  Even without being able to show them off (or not!) in a trial.

She’s sleeping now.  Of course.  Crazy dog calmed right down when we got home.

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