Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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Doggie plans

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We’re going to doggie school tomorrow morning! I don’t get to take Katie as much as I would like, economics being what they are, and my work schedule being so random. But tomorrow I don’t have to be at work till the afternoon, so Katie and I can attend a competitive obedience class for a small drop in fee. YEA!

I should be working more with Katie.  Since our last disastrous fun match we’ve worked only a little bit in between the thunder storms and random work schedules. It’s hard to heel around the sofa, but we’ve done some of that and a little bit of work at the park too. She’s getting better, but not nearly as good as she was last summer when we worked every day at the park. Of course I didn’t have a job back. Darn job interfering in dog progress!  LOL!

It was 79 degrees outside when I emerged from the library after a full day of being inside a dark old damp clammy building. Can’t waste an evening like that, so Katie and I went to the local softball park.  I thought we’d practice some heeling, but  Dad had just fed her and she wasn’t nearly as interested in me as she was in sniffing stuff.

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She sniffed the pond for a bit but it wasn’t particularly interesting, so off we went down a path into a big field.  katie-1474

She had to keep coming back for me as I was busy taking pictures of all the pretty brown grasses, and wasn’t keeping up.  I found a couple of pretty places for her to model for me as well.  There was a viewing deck at the far back of the property that I’d never seen before.  Not sure what we were supposed to be viewing, but we tried to look like we knew what we were doing.  katie-1481

And there was a pretty red twig dogwood bush out there, shining in the lowering sun that I asked Katie politely if she’d sit next to.  She did, but it was grudgingly.  She really wanted to be running around and sniffing more exciting things rather than posing for me.  katie-1491

It was a pretty long walk, and we were both hot and sweaty when we got back to the car.  Well.  I was sweaty, she was panting.  She had a drink, so did I and then we went home.  She’s sleeping now.  This walkie thing is wonderful, wears her right out!

Wish us well in school tomorrow morning.  I need all the help I can get!

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Need a funny story?

Tonight as I drove home through our subdivision I noticed a Canadian goose sleeping alongside a driveway a couple of doors down. I thought it was odd, but then again the driveway is a single car width dirt drive, with ponds on both sides.

This spring I’ve witnessed the territorial aspects of the pair of geese that appear to live in the bigger pond.   They consistently and with intensity chase away any other pairs of geese that happen to land on their pond. So it was with laughter that I watched the homeowner try to come home from work this evening. They pulled into their drive; the goose was still sitting in the middle of the driveway.   The SUV stopped. It’s not like they could go around the goose, with water on both sides. Suddenly, with great noise and a very wide wingspan the mate of the sitting goose rose out of the water and attacked the stopped SUV. Then the goose on the driveway got up and flapped it’s wings at the vehicle as well. With both geese honking and flapping their wings in front of the SUV, the homeowners finally backed up and drove away.

Eventually the geese settled back into their pond, the homeowner circled around and successfully made it up their driveway and into the house.  Obviously there’s a nest somewhere near the driveway.  I have to wonder how they’re going to get out tomorrow morning.


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Going to DC

I’m in the midst of preparations to attend a Sorrow to Strength conference in Washington DC. The conference, the first weekend in May, is put on by The Truck Safety Coalition (see http://www.trucksafety.org/) and is attended by survivors and families of truck crash victims. We spend a few days together talking about truck safety issues, lobbying on Capital Hill and remembering the people we’ve lost. It’s an oddly fun and sad experience all at the same time, and one that my siblings and I look forward to in a weird sort of way. It’s comforting to be with people that know how we’re feeling and have been through the same wide range of emotions, yet it’s hard to look around a room filled with people all hurting from the same experience. Especially when so many of our losses could have been avoided.

What really gets me the most is  listening to the stories on the first evening.  We all stand up and tell the short version of what happened to our family, the horrific events that led us to this conference room in a DC hotel.  You hear the stories, one after another, and so many of them are exactly the same; someone was struck from behind by a tractor trailer driven by a tired, inattentive, or sometimes drugged driver.  Usually a driver who had been on the road more hours than was legal, trying to make a buck, trying to support a family, trying to get by.  And now here we are, just a fraction of the 5,000 families affected like this every year,  in a room trying not to cry as we each describe “our” crash.  Regardless of the details most stories end the same.  Someone is gone.  Sometimes someone survives, but at such a cost.  Always the pain is there.   That’s what gets me mad.  And sad.  And what makes me go to Washington, to talk to Senators and Representatives, to their staff people, to the press.  To anyone that will listen.  To you.  Because so much of what the trucking industry appears to view as “collateral damage” doesn’t have to happen.

I know that I’m just one person.  But in that room this year on the first weekend in May will be too  many people, too many families, too many broken hearts.  For one weekend we stand united; we will have a presence and maybe someone will see us.  Maybe someone will listen.  Maybe, just maybe, we can begin again to make a difference.  We’ve lost family members, but we haven’t lost hope that change is possible.  Change can start with one person.  Dad believed that and so do I.

This trip is for you Dad.  Miss you.

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Out of control rally fun match

I worked all day today, rushed home, grabbed the dog and drove 45 miles south to a fun match this evening. The result? Katie was out of control. We had little to no time to warm up, though the facilities were very nice. She was scared; she loves to go to school, but when we arrived she knew right away this wasn’t any school she’d ever been to before. She immediately peed all over the asphalt behind the car. Poor girl, she’s never done that before!

Inside we were one of the first few people there, so we started right out with Rally. They were really good with me. There was a “off set figure 8” that I had never seen before that some lady explained and explained to me. Then the judge explained it again better! Also a right step that wasn’t set up very well and that we never did do quite right.

Katie was a wild thing, paying attention to the other dogs, other rings, loud noises, people going by. She didn’t focus on me until the judge asked me if I had treats, which I did. Once Katie figured out I had treats she focused a lot better! LOL! But still.

They let me go through the course twice with a judge and we learned a lot. But half way through the second time Katie just sat down. Then jumped on me. She was WAY DONE MOM! We finished strong though once I got her moving again.

In obedience they were really patient with me too. Most of the issue is me, obviously. The obedience judge gave me some good pointers for stand for exam, and for getting her to heel closer to my leg. So that was well worth it, though I was somewhat embarrassed by how out of it she was.

Then I FORGOT to stick around for sits and downs, which we really could have used practice on. On the other hand, Katie was not in the mood to sit still for very long.

So all in all, it was an OK $10.00 spent. It did show me that we have a TON of work to do, mostly on heeling correctly. The rest will come from that. And from me studying my rally move cards more!

Don’t know about Katie, but I’m exhausted! I have to work all day tomorrow and all day Sunday, so I’m headed for sleep now. Unfortunately, Katie, now at home, wants to PLAY!

Silly dog.

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Went for a walk

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Yesterday it was finally warm enough not to freeze off vital body parts, so I took myself off for a walk. I used to have a favorite four mile run, and since I haven’t been able to run for a very long time, I walked the route, just to see what had changed during this last long winter.  I thought about taking the dog, but decided I wanted to walk further than she was able to go.

It was a beautiful day, blue sky, bright sunshine.  I walked along a packed dirt road, realizing that it was a perfect day for a run.  But I’m in no shape to begin running yet, still nursing the stress fracture in my foot.  So I settled for a walk.  Turns out it wasn’t such a bad thing.

At the two mile mark there is a small park with nature trails that I have never explored.  Usually I am running as I go by this spot, and have never taken the time to stop and find out what was there.  I saw this past winter a map that said there was a heron rookery at the end of these trails.  So yesterday, armed with my trusty camera I headed down the trail to see what I could see.

My first decision was which way to go at the fork in the trail

trees-877 Hmm…should I go into the woodlands or the meadow?  I decided maybe a heron rookery would be in the woods, but I wasn’t at all sure.  The woodland path headed downhill, and I reminded myself that I’d have to come back up anything downhills I traversed.  Funny.  In the old days when I was in better shape I never would have thought about that.  Sad.

I stopped to take a few pictures of the path ..

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and some fungus on a tree.

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Right about then I heard such a shrieking, grating, loud noise coming from up ahead.  It was the sound of blue herons!  Disturbed blue herons!  I couldn’t see anything, so I hurried down the trail toward the noise.  Not too far ahead this is what I saw, up in the sky:

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Can you see them?  There were thirty or forty (hard to count them all!) blue herons flying in big circles above the rookery.  I counted eighteen nests, but it was hard to see, there are probably many more.  The herons kept flying in higher and higher circles, their squawking decreased, and it became more quiet in the woods.  The path continued downhill, but was becoming waterlogged and muddy, so I eventually turned around and climbed the hill back to the road.   It was an amazing experience.  Once the leaves are on the trees I won’t be able to watch the nests, so I hope to go back and watch again soon.  I don’t think I was the one that disturbed them, as I was quite far away, taking quiet pictures.  But we’ll see if they all go up in flight next time I’m there.

On the way back home I walked through the wetlands down below the rookery, enjoying the sun and blue skies.

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It took me forever to do this four miles, especially with the side trip into the woods.  I doubt you could call it a workout, but at least I was out on a walk!

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Later in the evening Katie and I went to the park so that she could walk and sniff around as well.  I think we both need to do this more often, especially since the weather seems to have broken.

Shoes are broken in too.  Fun times.

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Follow your heart's path

Life just keeps moving on, regardless of  our own plans.  And sometimes life surprises us and jogs in a new direction when we aren’t quite ready for or expecting such a life altering switch. What can you do but embrace that change and try to see the best in it?

When life jogs, remember how Dad always used to want to see around the next corner in the path. Like him, look ahead with excitement, because you just never know what’s next.   The exciting part is in the imagining of what you can do with the next chapter in your life.

Follow your heart.  Dad would be proud.

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It's a long story

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For years I’ve looked longingly at the Easter egg coloring kits each spring.  We had such happy times as kids making colored eggs.   Some years I think I’ll just color Easter eggs by myself.  But then I think; “How ridiculous!  You live with one other person!  How many hard boiled eggs can you two eat?”  And so I don’t.  But this year my sister is visiting, and as we shopped for Easter dinner she convinced me to buy the egg coloring kit, and today we braved the cold outside and did some really creative work.  If I do say so myself.

easter-2009-013 Why, you would be right to ask, are we coloring eggs outside?  Well I was worried about spilling food colored water on my tile floor or granite counters and so I banned us to the outdoors.  My sister was freezing but I thought it was perfect weather to be dying eggs! 🙂  And I wonder why everyone doesn’t do this outside, as we made quite a mess on the tailgate of her truck!  We had fun, even if she did freeze her fingers off!

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I personally think our results are quite striking.  Though the husband did ask why we didn’t have any plain solid colored eggs.  Heck.  We could have just done simple single colored eggs, but where’s the excitement in that?  So here are our beautiful, fun filled, adults goofing off, eggs.  They make me smile!

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Happy Easter everyone!  We hope you and your families have wonderful, safe, peaceful and entertaining holidays!

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Happy to see you!

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Two things I can always count on  are the reactions of my dog and my family when they see me coming.  They’re always happy to see me whether I’ve been gone for weeks or just a few minutes.  That kind of unconditional love is hard to find in this world and I know I’m lucky.  I’m lucky that I have one of the sweetest most loving dogs, and the best family too; they’re all happy when we’re together.

It’s easy to take for granted the excited gyrations of your dog each time you come home from work, or the smile from your spouse when you walk into the room.  Sometimes it takes a loss to recognize what you had.  But far better, isn’t it, to recognize it right now?  In the moment?  To accept that hug, that smile, that quiet conversation or that tail wriggle and revel in the joy of having it, right now, right here?

Katie knows how to do that.  She doesn’t worry about the future (except if and when her supper will arrive) or agonize over the past.  She just loves you to death right now.   And as much as my siblings, husband and I have been through I think we’re beginning to enjoy the right now when we’re together.  Even when the real  stuff of our lives threatens to encroach.  When some of us are together we can, for the moment, right now, enjoy doing silly things.  Like coloring Easter eggs, or decorating Christmas cookies. Doing a little trick skiing or cooking some lavish squash soup.   We’ll climb a mountain, take a boat ride or maybe do all those things in a single weekend.  We fit in some of the fun little things we did as kids and forget we’re grownup with grownup problems.  Just hang out.  It’s not total avoidance, we know our problems will still be there when we go home.  And that’s all right.  Right now, we’re just HAPPY TO SEE YOU!

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Snow white

When I woke up this morning we had perhaps 5  inches of snow on the ground. This is what it looked like first thing before the sun came up.

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This was out the back door, with an outdoor spotlight lighting up the poor bent birch tree, sinking low beneath the heavy wet snow.  The front didn’t look much better:

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This was my poor pot of pansies:

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The snow has melted off the pansies now, and they are just fine.  Sigh.

I don’t know how long this snow is going to stick around.  The weather report doesn’t sound like it’s going to warm up for awhile.  So we’ll have to wait and see if the sun will ever come out again and melt all this white stuff.  I am trying to appreciate it for its beauty…but I’m pretty much over the prettiness of snow by this time of the year.  We’ve had so much of it all winter it seems like it’s time for us to catch a break.

I’m hoping this is really the end of winter.  Really.

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But you never know.

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One last time?

So my grass is getting sort of green. My daffodils are up about 4 or 5 inches, some even have tiny little blossom buds on them. The birds are running around making nests, I’m starting to think about getting out the gardening stuff, planning the garden, looking for weeds.  You know, getting into the spring thing.

But they are predicting a big storm starting tonight. We’re supposed to get 4-6 inches of…dare I say it? SNOW!!! So it goes, springtime in Michigan. Doesn’t let a person get to complacent. Ever.

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This picture was taken April 13, 2008.  Hope what we have coming isn’t more than this, but I’m afraid it might be.