Change Is Hard

August 6, 2025
by dawnkinster 14 Comments

Brain v.s. AI

Lately, not often, but once in awhile, I notice something in my periphery vision that looks like a person standing off in the distance. Down the road, across the lawn, far away. It’s just a moment, mostly a dark grey shadow, and when I look directly there’s nothing there. Once in awhile there’s a small tree or a mailbox but lots of times there’s nothing there at all.

I brought it up with my nurse practicioner at my annual physical and she asked me if I had told my ophthalmologist. I hadn’t but I had an appointment coming up, so I said I would. Today I sat in the chair with my eyes dialated and told him the story.

He started smiling and said he usually sees this in 90 year old people. And that it’s just my brain that sees something and fills in the rest to create, for a moment, something that makes sense. I had thought that was what was going on myself, so was relieved when he looked in my eyes and didn’t see anything to worry about.

But the whole experience reminded me of something that happened when I was processing photos from my night under the stars with a friend and her daughter. I processed one photo where the daughter’s phone was shining down near the bottom of the frame. I had been shooting the stars above her, but sometimes she ended up in the image.

On this particular photo, one of the first I worked on, I thought it was just her phone that was glowing. I used the ‘remove’ button in Lightroom to get rid of that glowing shape. I had never used that function before. I edited the rest of the image, knowing the whole bottom 1/3 of the picture was dark beach.

Turns out it was her face that was lit up, and when I erased her face I left the rest of her body intact. That is, if you read the instructions on how to use this button, a problem.

Witout knowing any of this I thought maybe I’d lighten up the dark beach just a touch and see how that looked beneath the Milky Way. And I got this:

Turns out I had only disappeared her face, and Lightroom, with it’s infinite AI wisdom knew there couldn’t be a person with no face, so it created one for me. If you look carefully you’ll see a guy sitting in a chair. The chair that was right there with us all night.

I actually thought for a couple minutes that some guy had joined us for the night of star gazing, even though I knew there was no guy there. And then I shared the new image with my friend and her daughter and they freaked out too.

No, no guy quietly came and sat in our chair. It’s just that AI completed the person I had left in the image. Just like my brain completes the image it thinks it sees out of the side of my eye.

No wonder it’s hard to know what the truth is anymore.

August 5, 2025
by dawnkinster 39 Comments

Penny says

Hi everybody! It’s me, your best girl Penny!

Mom gave me permission to write on her blog this time. She says she wasn’t even going to bring this up. And she doesn’t want to talk about it. So now it’s up to me.

You see mom and I have been working really, really hard on obedience. At first I tried my darndest to get her to be more obedient, but that wasn’t working, so I decided maybe I could get more treats if I tried to be more obedient myself.

A girl can grow intellectually even when she’s already full grown physically.

So anyway, mom and I have been practicing in my basement training room and out at a friend’s training barn. I like training a lot. When mom starts chopping up cheese I get all excited and run to the top of the basement stairs, ready to run down to my ~~cheese~~ training room as soon as mom turns the lights on down there.

Then mom and I went to a ‘fun’ run on Sunday, to see if what I am learning would translate to an obedience trial setting. Mom was pretty sure we’d do OK, maybe not perfect, but definitely OK.

Mom was wrong.

I didn’t like the noisy place with all the other dogs and when it was my turn I wanted to run somewhere safe, and I forgot how to heel and I certainly didn’t remember I was supposed to sit when mom stopped. Mom, for her part couldn’t read the signs right and was flustered with my inattention and tripped over her own feet.

And when it came to my recall, when I get to run to mom (I love running to mom) I decided it was safer if I just made myself as small as possible and sat very still. Very very still. On my behind. Not moving.

Even when mom moved closer and offered me cheese.

Mom says she was very discouraged and also worried about me because I was so scared and she felt bad for putting me into a scary situation.

But then!

The next day she took me to the groomer! What was she thinking. After that I got really mad at her and barked at her all the way home.

And then!

We went to my Rally class in my regular building last night and in between running rally courses mom took me to a back room and we heeled enthusiastically and I sat when she stopped and I did three different recalls almost perfectly.

So mom thinks I’m OK and not scared anymore. Which is good because the real obedience trial is this coming Saturday.

Mom says it’s very possible we will still NQ (Not qualify) but she says that’s OK as long as I’m not scared and get used to working in different places. She says this is not a sprint. She says it’s a marathon. I don’t even know what that means.

I’d like to remind mom that I’m still a puppy. (I’m going to milk that concept as long as possible!) And that I love her and daddy and I want to be a good girl. Sometimes I just need more time.

SO… please think about mom and me on Saturday afternoon!

PS: Pictures are stuff mom took of not me in my yard. Silly mom. I’m still the prettiest thing around.

July 31, 2025
by dawnkinster 19 Comments

Just saying thanks

Summer is flying by, and soon it will be September when the Truck Safety Coalition holds it annual fundraising dinner, and then it will be November when we ask our friends and family to donate through Giving Tuesday, and then it will be December when we make that last push to meet our funding goals.

Because I’m on TSC’s board I’m hyper aware of the need to fundraise, but before we get into this end of year cycle where I’m asking you for your support I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for the dollars you sent us at the end of 2024 when I was asking for support at our dinner. Thank you for going online when I was working the Giving Tuesday platform. Thank you for putting checks in the mail, directly to them or to me.

It feels just like yesterday that so many of you were actively engaged with my cause making it, at least for the moment, your cause too. It makes me feel less alone in the fight.

I don’t remember if I told you about our dinner last September. When I got up to speak I looked around at that crowded banquet room, at all the faces there. Crash survivors, victims’ families, TSC staff members, attorneys, other safety related non-profits, friends, Congressional staffers concerned about the issues, all these people were intermingled at the tables, and I thought….”We are not alone.”

And I said this out loud, I asked the victims’ families and survivors to look around. I told them our work is hard and sometimes it feels lonely, but look around at all these people here to support us. We are not alone. Our family members and our previous lives have not been forgotten.

And that’s how you make me feel too. So I wanted to say a simple thank you — without any ask attached.

A friend of mine made cards for me, using a photo of my parents and me taken a few decades ago. Who knew back then what I’d be working on now? I sent the cards to people I knew had donated last year, if I had an address. I would have sent them to all of you, but I know some of you wonderful people only online.

Think about how amazing that is.

You know me only online and still you support the cause that means so much to me…saving people’s lives, reducing truck crashes, supporting families, and spreading the word to be careful when you’re driving.

I know I’ll be back soon, asking for money to support our work. And once in awhile I’m sure I’ll be on my soapbox again. But for now, thank you all so much for listening and letting me ramble.

The deaths and injury numbers are going up, we can’t stop now.

July 28, 2025
by dawnkinster 35 Comments

Magical

Almost a week ago now we had clear skies, no moon, and moderate temperatures. It was all perfect for a Milky Way photo shoot. So a photographer friend and I along with her daughter took a run up to the thumb of Michigan to find somewhere to spend the night under the stars.

There’s a special barn up there, and I’ve always thought it might make a good Milky Way foreground.

We checked it out, both sides. The owner of the barn must have a sense of humor.

But physically it wasn’t really faced in the correct direction for a Milky Way shoot that night. Maybe earlier in the season when the Milky Way will be further to the east. I’m keeping it in mind So we headed up toward Port Austin, near the point of Michigan’s thumb. We found a little roadside park with a small sandy beach.

*The last light illuminates the log resting on the beach.*

We decided to watch the sunset from there and then decide what to do. While we were watching the sun a small flock of cedar waxwings showed up, sitting in the dead tree near us and then flying out to catch bugs. The light was low and they moved so fast it was hard to get a good image.

*A cedar waxwing keeps watch for a tasty bug.*

But they sure made me smile.

There seemed to be an unlimited source of very thin rocks, perfect for stone skipping. So my friend and her daughter skipped stones and I took pictures.

It was so much fun.

Meanwhile the sun began to set. And, though we didn’t get a great sunset it was pretty enough for us.

We went back to the car to get our real cameras and when we came out to the beach hundeds of lightening bugs rose from the beach grass. I tried so hard to get a picture of them, but it was hard.

*See the yellow fireflies? Now multiply that by 100s.*

Just imagine standing there with all these glowing lights flitting around you. It was magical.

And then it began to get dark and my friend told me there was an aurora alert and we should take a test shot to the north and see if anything was happening. And guess what.

*A pink dome, supported by a green base with a couple pillars in for good measure*.

There was!

So we spent a lot of time shooting the aurora. It wasn’t a spectacular show, but there was plenty of pink and green and light pillars.

Then we turned our cameras south to see if the dark horse was leaving the protection of the trees yet.

It was still, unfortunately, partially behind the hill. We weren’t in a prime location for Milky Way, looking to the south it was behind the trees for much of the night. But the aurora made the site worthwhile.

*The aurora was moving out further into the bay.*

Across the way you can see retangles of golden light. I think, after studying a map, that must be Tawas, a large town on the other side of Saginaw Bay. I also wondered if there’s a bank of foggy mist out there.

We looked back to the south. The dark horse in the Milky Way was moving further out from behind the trees.

So that’s how the night went. Shoot a little to the north, shoot a little to the south. There was something spectacular no matter where we looked.

*It was hard to believe we’d gotten so lucky!*

The whole night was so wonderful. Fireflies, aurora, Milky Way, stars, a slight breeze, warm temperatures, the lapping of a quiet lake. You can’t beat it. And I felt lucky that we were there.

We left the beach a little after 1 a.m. as the mist from the bay started to move over the Milky Way and the aurora had fadded.

*Notice all the light pollution from Caseville.*

We had a 2.5 hour drive back home. I smiled the whole way.

*Nothing but stars and the tail end of the Milky Way overhead.*

July 24, 2025
by dawnkinster 32 Comments

Backyard shenanigans

A long time ago I promised to show you the shenanigans going on in my backyard. Or should I call it backyardigans?

These are self explanatory, but if the participants had anything to say I’ll add that as comentary under the offender’s image.

*My morning abdominal workout might be offset by my morning snacking.*

You will note there is one pictured here that is not like the others. She knows who she is.

*I have to ask the help to fill this feeder every single day.*

Sometimes I wonder how I get anything done in the house, given all the entertainment just outside my window.

*I emptied out that birdfeeder, now my tummy doesn’t feel so good.*

Oh wait. I really don’t get much done inside. Please don’t look at the dust covering everything or the dog fur rolling across the floor.

*Somebody come help me with these two hooligans!*

But I ask you. Which would you rather do?

*I’m just going to sit here and watch the crazy in real time.*

I thought so.

*Not me, I’m eating while I can. A mom gets so little time to herself around here!*

*You are so right! Eat while you can I always say!*

*I see you lady with the camera! Could you please leave us more peanuts?*

*She always puts the peanuts at the bottom. Good thing I have short legs.*

*Seriously, I’m going to go crazy in .2 seconds.*

July 23, 2025
by dawnkinster 27 Comments

Wordless Wednesday

July 21, 2025
by dawnkinster 19 Comments

Relevant reading

I’ve known Karen Mulvahill, author of The Lost Woman for more than 40 years as a friend, a coworker, a fellow outdoor loving camper, hiker, cross country skier, as a writer of poetry. But I haven’t known her as a literary author.

Sometimes she’d mention working on her book, or the frustration of finding an editor, or the writing group she belonged to and where she found support for her work or the struggle to find a publisher.

And then….just this spring….her book came out! After years of research and work and rewriting the book is here.

It was hard, but I waited until I could purchase the book from my favorite Independent Bookseller, Dog Ears Books, owned by Pamela Grath in Northport. The wait was worth it.

I read this book slowly, in small sips like a dessert drink, not wanting it to end. Which is saying a lot given the story revolves around German occupied Paris in World War II, and I am so not a fan of WWII books. But much of the story of the occupation and the treatment of the Jewish population is feeling familiar today, and that drew me in.

From the book; “The Nazi leardership were generally paunchy middle-aged men.” I have often, lately, voiced that I was tired of middle-aged white guys making decisions about our world that benefit themselves and rarely anyone else.

And then, one sentence I stopped and reread, from a description of a Jewish family rounded up from the streets of Paris, shoved into a car, and gone in an instant: “Well, they must have done something.” said the people wittnessing this disappearing.

I thought about how easy it has always been to believe people not like ourselves must have done something to warrant their experiences. Experiences we hope won’t come our way because we’re not like them.

I began to underline little bits, words strung together that made me smile or stop to consider:

“The river shuddered under a light breeze that churned the intermittent sunlight into the depths.”

“I bounded up the stairs as if I weren’t contained by my own skin.”

“Did my armor ward off as much joy as grief?”

“As they turned up a gravel driveway, dust curled behind the truck, erasing the places he had been.”

You, reading this book, will have different bits underlined, maybe different places that call you to pause and consider. By the end you’ll have your own interpretation of what Paris and the art world was like during the occupation, and perhaps a better understanding of what resistance looked like then and what it might look like today.

I have to thank my friend, the author, for writing this book. Because I know her I read it. Because I read it I am more aware. And being aware is infinitely more desirable than assuming “they must have done something.”

July 19, 2025
by dawnkinster 36 Comments

Title!

Hey Peeps! It’s me, Penny! Guess what, guess what, guess what???! Mom and I went to a Rally trial on Friday and in spite of mom I got my first AKC title!

*Where are we going mom? I’m not sure I want to go!*

It all started when mom rushed me into the car in the morning. This was unusual and I wasn’t sure it was going to be a good day. I was afraid maybe I was going to the vet. Or the groomer!

But we ended up at my school and I’m always excited there. I’ll tell you a secret. I’m not excited because I get to hang out with other dogs and do fun stuff.

*Well OK mom! I love school, let’s get going!*

Nope. I’m excited about the cheese. Don’t tell mom, I don’t think she realizes, she still thinks I’m an intellectual dog that’s all invested in learning new things.

Let’s not disappoint her.

Anyway. Mom got us there way too early. We had to wait through a whole lot of people and dogs before we got to go. I mostly sat around and begged other people to share their treats.

Mom kept saying NO! Everybody said I was cute and they all wanted to share but mom was a meanie. Except once when we were all done she let me have a tiny salmon liver thing. OMG! Mom’s cheese is nothing compared to salmon liver!

*Your snack skills are severely lacking, mother.*

Anyway…once it was my turn I was a very good girl and followed mom all around that course. There were lots of circles which are not my favorite but I stuck pretty good, even though mom thought I was lagging behind sometimes.

*We had to wait for almost all these people to do their thing first. I’m in Rally Novice B.*

And we ended up with a 99 out of 100 and first place! And since that was my third leg (you have to get three qualifying runs to get a title) I got my first title too!

*Me and my first place ribbon and my TITLE RIBBON!*

Mom and I went in the back and got our pictures taken with my ribbons.

*Me and mom. She said she was very proud of me.*

But then I found out mom had entered us for a 2nd run. Mom called it insurance in case I didn’t qualify in the first run. But it meant waiting all that time all over again until it was my turn!

*I decided I’d take a nap in my crate while we waited.*

GEEZE mom, this is not fun.

But then my breeder, Mama S, showed up and I was sooooo excited to see her. She’s one of my favorite people, right up there with daddy and mom and she came to watch me! And then we waited and waited and waited…and I was soooo bored. Mom tried to keep me occupied but all I wanted to do was nap.

*While we waited mom studied the map of our next run.*

And when it came my turn, finally, I didn’t want to play the game anymore. I decided to protest by not sitting when she asked me to, until she asked four or five times. I also decided I wasn’t going to circle left at all. And I was going to walk reeaaaal slow. So mom had to keep trying to get me to move along.

I found the whole thing totally boring.

*If that comes with a snack I’ll take it!*

Lucky for us the judge was a nice lady and didn’t disqualify us. I think if we weren’t doing beginning rally we would have been kicked right out of the building! But we got an 89 and qualified and even got a third place ribbon (cause there were only 3 of us in that group) and mom was relieved.

We went in the back and got our pictures taken again, even the lady judge posed with me!

And then mom drove us home. We were both very, very tired. Mom and I took a nap when we got home and today mom’s going to go back to the school to watch the obedience trials. She says we’re going to try that next month! She says I can stay home and rest up.

Cause I’m a rock star. Or something.

*Thinking about my strategy for the next time.*

I think I better rest up!

Wordless Wednesday

July 16, 2025 by dawnkinster 26 Comments

July 14, 2025
by dawnkinster 28 Comments

An honorable goodbye

You remember Deuce, my friend’s cocker spaniel, who crossed the Rainbow Bridge in March. Well, this past Saturday there was a ceremony at War Dogs Memorial where he and 3 other special dogs were laid to rest.

I arrived a little early, and walking under that gate into that quiet place was hard, knowing my friend was taking her last walk with her little budy, saying her final goodbye. My eyes welled up before anything even got started.

But once it did, seeing all the therapy and honor guard dogs in attendence, all the people there to pay their respects, it felt a little better.

Not to say I didn’t use my tissue multiple times.

*One of many dogs there to wittness the last goodbye.*

Katie and Deuce visited this place many years ago. It’s a beautiful cemetary, and I know I’ll take Penny there to visit someday this fall, when the weather is cooler and we can spend some time exploring.

*Deuce’s therapy dog group, getting ready to pay their respects during the last walk.*

I know my friend is going to miss her little buddy every day forever, but what an honor to have him spend eternity with other special dogs, all of them having served not just their own people but hundreds of others.

Over 600 therapy dog visits, my friend said during her talk about him. More than 600 times he gave people comfort and smiles and love. Lots more than that when you count all the love he gave his mom, and Katie and me, and all his other friends.

*A 21 second howling salute at the end of the service.*

So long, sweet Deuce. You have planted your prints on so many hearts, we’re going to remember you and miss you forever.