Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Do you believe in messages from beyond?


Dad and Mom...before they were parents.

Before they were parents.

I know everybody out there has loved ones that have moved on to what I think of as their next adventure.    But I’m wondering.  Do you look for signs that they’re around?  That they’re alright?  I do.

In the beginning I consciously looked all the time.  Now it’s more of an automatic thing.  Mostly it’s birds that seem to give me signs from my folks, but I’ve also begun to consider the bright orange semi trucks I see out on the road as greetings from my Dad.

I know that probably sounds weird.  After all it was a bright orange semi that killed him.  And for a lot of years seeing one of those trucks was a knife to my heart.  They are everywhere and there is no escape from them, so  some time ago I decided I couldn’t allow myself to be knifed anymore.  I started saying ‘hi’ to Dad each time I saw one and  I still do that today.  It doesn’t make it all better, but somehow it’s not as painful to see those trucks on the road anymore.

And of course I’ve told you about the stars in the sky that I’ve assigned to each of them; Orion’s belt for Mom, the Big Dipper for Dad.  At this time of the year they are both in the morning sky, high above my head when I take the dog out early.  I look for them, sometimes even have a little conversation with them, while Katie’s checking out the yard.

I’ve seen a few episodes of the TV show The Long Island Medium and wonder if people are so desperate to know their loved ones are OK that they feed the medium clues.  I wonder if I do that in a way too, wonder if I look for signs so intently at the moments when I need them close that I manufacture comforting signs.  I think the truth is that I have to believe Mom and Dad are somewhere just around the corner.  Because to think otherwise would make living without them impossibly difficult.

What about you?  Do you believe that your loved ones are still around in some form?  Somewhere more than just in your own heart?  Do you think they send messages?  Or do you think it’s all a bunch of bunk?

I wonder.

Dad and Mom 1990 Dawn's wedding

Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

17 thoughts on “Do you believe in messages from beyond?

  1. I stuggle with this. I love watching long island medium, because I want to believe, but the scientific part of me still can’t seem to fully buy into it. She seems authentic, but then again, it’s tv……regardless, I watch it every week!

    I like your idea of saying hi to your dad when you see an orange semi. I still get a heavy feeling in my stomach every time I see a chevy envoy (the car that killed my brother in law). Maybe I need to start saying hi, to turn that feeling around.

    My nephew talks/feels his dad, but instead of looking up to the sky, he feels like his dad is at ground level, right there with him where he can see,hear and guide him. I think that’s really cool.

    I think maybe if we all take the time to really pay attention, there are messages out there for us.


  2. You mentioned birds in your post — Mommy truly believes birds do give signs. When Mommy’s dad was in the hospital over ten years ago dying of cancer — Mommy looked out the hospital window and she saw 5 birds on the telephone wire. Two birds to the left, one bird in the middle, and two birds on the right. There was a big gap separating the middle bird. Mommy knew in her heart that it was a warning sign. There were 5 members of her family, Mom, Dad and 3 kids. The family always sticks together. So, when Mommy saw 5 birds, but they weren’t all sitting next to each other — Mommy got alarmed. Sure enough a couple hours after seeing the birds — Mommy’s dad died. All 5 of the family members were in the room when he died. Two on one side of the bed, two on the other and Mommy’s dad in the middle. Mommy was praying the rosary when he died.


    • What a wonderful but sad story. Your family sounds something like mine. I’m sorry your Dad died, but I’m glad you were all there with him. I count birds too…my family had six people, so I’m always happy to see groups of six…it makes me feel like they are all OK even tho two of them are not right here anymore.


  3. That’s an interesting topic. I too have my doubts in the “long island medium” but have never been to one personally either. I think we see signs that reminds us of lost ones. Sounds, sights, smells are all apart of memories that we can relive. I lost my brother and certain things remind me of him but I wouldn’t say I feel he is “present”. If you would ask my mom, she has an entirely different view and feels he’s apart of her everyday life. Now, I will say I think she has never progressed thru a grieving process and deeply holding onto many things to prevent her from accepting he’s gone… and it’s been over 10 years. Finally I would never try to convince someone that his/her perception is not true, I just have not experienced it.


    • Yes I think everyone experiences grief differently, and copes with it differently. I’m sorry your brother died. I haven’t experienced that, I’m not sure how I would get through that.


  4. I’m not a true believe of signs. I think there’s power in synchronicity and coincidence, though – even if we supply it ourselves. I feel like it’s a victory for you to say “Hi” to your dad as the orange trucks pass by. Much better that you think of him and smile than think of his loss in pain. I bet he’d have liked it, too.


  5. I don’t really believe that people cross back and forth from the great beyond to earth; however, I do believe that we here carry memories of our loved ones and attribute certain “signs” as evidence that they’re okay. I know that every time I see a butterfly — especially one that kind of lingers close by me — I think of my late dad and am comforted. I’m glad you’ve stopped seeing the orange semis as evil and turned them into loving memories of your dad — that’s progress!


  6. I am a definite believer. I also just did a book review on Dakota’s blog (I believe this past Monday) that dealt about messages from our animals from beyond


  7. My daughter’s middle child died of neuroblastoma just before his 3rd birthday, and he sends messages to her fairly often. I get one now and then. Does it matter if they’re real or imagined? If we believe, that’s what counts. If we feel we’re communing with lost loved ones, it makes our hearts feel good, and that’s what counts.



    • Oh Carol…I think I remember you talking about your grandson a long time ago. How sad. That’s just the worst when it’s a child. So unfair. I’m glad he’s still making his presence known. Spunky little boy!


  8. We believe. However, we believe it extends to both human and animal. There have been times were we felt the presence of Deacon. Some other times it was Grand Paw or Grand Maw. Then of course there is the legend of Terhune’s dog Rex.

    Essex, Sherman & Dog Dad


  9. I’ve written about this a lot and yes I do believe but not all the time. Cole has a much harder time believing — I think because he has has a tough time with the subtle signs and looks for a much bolder announcement that his dad is close at hand.
    I agree with carol ^ or to quote one of my favorite wizards, ” “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows


  10. Mediums and such *are* a bunch of bunk. That said–I believe that it is a completely natural human need to maintain the ties that form during one’s lifetime. I’ve heard it said that no one is ever truly dead as long as there is someone to remember them, and everyone processes their memories and feelings about those who’ve died in different ways. I have found comfort in things that deceased people have said to me in my dreams. I don’t for a minute believe that they were the actual people in my dreams, but that my memories of them and my knowledge of their personalities and feelings and values carry over into my subconscious, which can construct a most likely very accurate impression of what they’d actually say if they were there, and more importantly, what I needed to hear to continue processing my own grief. Others find the same kinds of comfort and meaning in very different ways, and those feelings and reactions obviously *are* real–invoking the “spirit” of the remembered person in the same way that I do in my dreams.


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