Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

When did it all get so scary?


Watching the snow fly.

Watching the snow fly.

It wasn’t so long ago that 14 inches (355.6 mm) of snow wouldn’t bother me.  I lived in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan where that much snow was a regular thing.  And I’ve done my share of commuting through blizzards over the years; I remember a few 4 hour drives to get home.  I used to do that just because it was expected that you went to work.  So you did.

Now?  Not so much.

More and more people are able to work from home, hook into their work computers and be almost as, if not more, productive.  So struggling with the car and the snowdrifts isn’t so normal any more.  Still.  Late yesterday afternoon and into the night I watched the snow pile up and worried about how I was going to get to work in the morning.   I pictured the winding hilly roads I travel and imaged driving them with over a foot of snow on the ground.  I strained to hear the sound of snow plows anywhere near my home, but failed to hear anything but the wind.

Driveway...early in the morning.

Driveway…early in the morning.

And this morning it was obvious that I wasn’t going anywhere, at least until I cleared the driveway of over a foot of snow.  Even Katie didn’t want to go out there unless I made her a path first.  Trust me I tried to get her to go without one.  Complete failure.

Never mind, didn't really need to go out anyway.

Never mind, didn’t really need to go out anyway.

So I spent a couple of hours clearing the driveway and the road in front of my house.  My two neighbors, both older men, cleared their sections of the road and helped me with mine.  I began to feel guilty about not making an attempt to get to the office.  But not one vehicle had been by and the people on the news said you needed 4 while drive.  So I didn’t try.

Hunkered down like the juncos.

Hunkered down like the juncos.

Later in the morning the sun came out, the sky was blue, the snow brilliant white.  Beautiful.  I felt brave and almost got in the car to head in to work.   I wonder why I feel so much more brave in the bright light of sun than I do in the middle of the night’s darkness.  And I wonder when I got scared to drive in the snow at all.

That's better mama!

That’s better mama!

The news is still showing back roads covered in snow and saying you need 4 wheel drive to get out of subdivisions.  A few more neighbors have plowed their portions of our road.  Maybe I can get out of the subdivision tomorrow.  Maybe people along the bigger side roads have plowed their own bits too.  Maybe the county has done the paved roads.

Maybe it won’t be so bad.  Maybe I can learn to relax and enjoy an unexpected day off instead of feeling guilty that I didn’t make it in.

Maybe the sun will come up tomorrow and I’ll be brave again.

Maybe this is the last snowfall of the season.




Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

25 thoughts on “When did it all get so scary?

  1. Maybe is a very large word. The older you get, the more scary the world gets because, I think, you lose that youthful confidence of being untouchable. Things that can happen get closer and become more real.


    • It is true that I realize life doesn’t have a happy ending, and that bad things happen to good people. So I”m more careful. And I realize that the job isn’t the end all and sometimes can be sacrificed.


  2. I do love Katie’s path! I shovel paths for Dallas, too, when we get BIG snows. These are two spoiled Shelties, huh, Dawn?

    Maybe it’s not so much “scary” as it is being “prudent.” It seems the local street departments don’t want to incur overtime pay, so they don’t call their workers out. Then the Weather Channel scares us half to death with their warnings. Then we remember stories of people who were injured or killed on unsafe roads. So we succumb and stay home. Maybe it’s a good thing (hey, at least you got some nice photos and a blog post for us!!)


    • It was a nice day, though uncomfortable. Not used to playing hooky. Katie doesn’t like her path, it’s still not long enough for her and I didn’t shovel out to her favorite #2 place so she’s not sure where to go now.


  3. I hear you on this one. I was invincible for a very long time. I’d lived on my own for a lot of years away from family so I had to have a get up and get it done attitude. My confidence level took a real hit when Joe died. All of a sudden I found myself worried about things that had never worried me before. I still push myself but the fact that I even think twice much less 3 or 4 times continues to surprise me. And yes, taking a day off and surrendering to the weather is something we all need to do from time to time. Especially when you’ve had tragedy strike out on those highways. Give yourself a break.


  4. I completely understand how you feel. When I was in my 20s, 30s and early 40s and was living in Cleveland I spent, like you, HOURS in the car driving a mere 12 miles in snowstorms going to and from work. I used to get nervous, but nothing like I do now. Could it be the naivety of youth? Now, I am unemployed and blog from home, I don’t even drive expressways anymore, when I was young I drove everywhere without giving it a second thought.
    Dakota is having the same trouble as Katie. We got about a foot here in Farmington Hills, MI….my husband went to take Dakota out last night, he refused to go potty. This morning he was nearly buried in the snow…he had to take Dakota to the plowed part of our apt/condo complex’s driveway where he could stand and go.
    Orchard Lake Rd is terrible, I only know this because my husband ventured out (kind soul), to pick up a prescription for me. He was going to go to Secretary of State to do his license renewal but opted to come home because the roads are so bad over here.
    Don’t feel guilty, grab some hot chocolate and snuggly Katie and enjoy some mindless TV!


  5. Enjoy your day. No guilt.

    The plow drivers prefer people to stay home so they can do their jobs.

    I’m looking forward to the after storm sunshine, but I think I’ll be at work by the time it gets here. Oh yea, and we’re getting more snow on wednesday and friday. Seems to be an every other day thing here.


  6. I’ve often found that one of the best cures for a bit of snow blues is to wrap up warm and go build a snowman. 🙂


  7. I think part of the fear comes from the news media making snow newsworthy (“snow event”). I don’t remember it being such a big deal when I was growing up. I didn’t go anywhere yesterday and didn’t watch the news at all, so I was surprised to find out that we had a “blizzard” until I read the news online this morning.

    We can’t fear the snow – we live in Michigan. 😉


  8. Wow. That is a lot of snow! It’s taller than Katie. No wonder she didn’t want to go out.

    Fears. It seems like we get more of them as we get older. I’m glad you didn’t go to work. It gives the snow removal folks a chance to do their job.


    • I’m glad I didn’t go to work too. I hope all of the roads are passable tomorrow. Katie likes snow, but not when it’s taller than her. So it’s been a big challenge to get her to do her stuff today. Hopefully tomorrow things will settle down.


  9. As I have gotten older I am more afraid of the snow and ice. I hate driving in it, and got snow tires last year because I need to get to work even when it snows! Today schools were closed- a lot of snow and ice here. My dogs hated going out in the snow. Things always look better with the sun shining! Hope the rest of your week goes well


  10. In a snow event like that, I’d stay home too. Good decision.


    • It was a good decision, just hard to justify when the sun came out and the sky was blue and it seemed like things were fact the roads were still terrible. Bet you don’t miss snow down there!


  11. One has to wonder why we risk so much for work when we know the only thing work cares about is that we do our job and nothing more. I think too it is different now 10 times more traffic on the roads, 10 times more crazy people.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Looks like some snowfreaks (snowmen) made their way into your house and are sitting on top of your fireplace thingy. I think the snowfreaks would have a better chance of surviving in all that snow outside instead of sitting on top of the hot fireplace. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

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