Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Blinded by the dark


The power went out sometime during the night, and we sleep with blackout blinds so the bedroom is pitch black when I wake. I reach around for Katie and find her upside down at my feet. Wondering what time it is I get up to look for my phone but I’m afraid to leave Katie on the bed in the blackness. She resists me picking her up but finally is safe on the floor as we inch out to the living room which is illuminated a bit by the outside gray.

It’s 4:30 a.m.

Our ‘automatic’ generator is not running but I can hear one chugging away somewhere down the street. A big truck with squeaky brakes and a rumbling diesel engine is out on the road, flashers and headlights glowing as electric company employees look for the problem.

Katie growls and barks.

With nothing we can do to fix the problem I carry Katie back to the bedroom, close the door so husband can poke around with a flashlight, and we settle back to sleep. Or not. Katie is restless and I’m afraid of her falling off the bed. But she wants to be close. My little non-snuggling dog presses her hip against mine and gives a big sigh, a sign she’s going back to sleep. But then she’s up, carefully picking her way across pillows to lay near my head, licking my arm and panting. She wants to hold my hand in her mouth, but I gently disengage and scratch her ears. She curls up against my shoulder and sighs again. Then moves slightly away and whimpers a bit. I wonder how much she can see, whether she thinks she has lost her sight. I wonder if being blind would bother her.

And so we wait, Katie and I, we wait for the light to return.

And then…the first hint. The solitary warble of our robin, first tentatively, then stronger, then bursting into full song. The crack between the blinds and the window casing lightens just a bit. The freeway, a mile away, begins to hum.

Katie sighs contentedly and rolls over as I get up to raise the blinds and let the morning in.

Imported Photos 01295

Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

8 thoughts on “Blinded by the dark

  1. Oh those early-morning times when we can’t go back to sleep and we just lay there in bed and toss and turn. Doesn’t sound like you could toss and turn much, though, with Katie right next to you. I had one of those mornings downstate last week, awake about 4:30. Enjoyed the rhythm of your writing and description here.


  2. I don’t like those awake too early mornings, when sleep eludes me, only to sit heavily on my shoulders after I’ve climbed out of bad.


  3. Did you have a storm? I hate being in the pitch-black, and Dallas doesn’t seem to like it either. He’s so restless during storms that I really have to crate him — for BOTH of us! I loved your description of your non-snuggling dog (Dallas doesn’t snuggle, either, probably because it’s too hot for him). Glad all’s well now — and that it’s not been either too cold or too hot to be without electricity for a few hours!


  4. Nice. Did your generator ever kick in or is it dead?


  5. Katie isn’t a snuggler??? Stuff you deduce wrong.
    Cole is a snuggler, but he acts like I have the worst case of halitosis when I ask for a kiss.


    • She’ll tolerate a bit of lovin, but doesn’t really like it and moves away as soon as she can. She’s cute but aloof. Many sheltie owners say the same, but others have snuggle bugs. You just can’t tell a sheltie from it’scover.


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