Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Worrying about the music


This coming Tuesday night is our community band’s first concert of the season, and as usual I’m worried, not about the band’s performance, but about my ability to contribute.

Band started this fall two weeks after I fell and broke my finger at the end of August. I missed the first three rehearsals because my hand was still in a splint. And even now, though my fingers are free to move, they are swollen and sluggish.

Or maybe that’s my brain.

The concert is all John Williams music – things he wrote for movies and other events. And though it’s been arranged by people to make it work for a concert band, it’s still hard. At least for me. He likes to use different meters and key signatures and switch stuff up. A lot.

Tonight, the night before our dress rehearsal tomorrow, I was intent on going through every one of the ten pieces of music, playing along with groups I found on YouTube who were playing the same arrangements.

I found this (you can opt out of the advertisement after about 4 seconds), for Schindler’s List – a high school group from a town about 30 miles south of me, the town I used to work in. This was recorded in 2014 and as I watched their faces I realized all of them would have graduated by now. I wonder where they are today, if they’re in college or out working somewhere.

I wonder if they are still playing music. I hope they are.

We will have a guest violinist on Tuesday night too. I think it will be a treat for our audience. And as for the other 9 pieces of music, well, I can play parts of all of them. We’ll sound just fine.

As long as I stay out of the way.

You sounded fine to me mama, but then I was sleeping.

Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

8 thoughts on “Worrying about the music

  1. I can imagine how worrisome that would be. Are there warm ups for your finger and hands you can do before hand. Obviously that’s a silly question. I suspect you will do just fine. Wish I could be there. I love John Williams music.


  2. I went to a performance of the Columbus Symphony Orchestra on Saturday. My seat was so close, too close as a matter of fact that I could see the first violin’s eyelashes and hear the sound of the pages turning. I’d never sat so close and it allowed me to study the players intensely. I thought about you often. I can’t read a lick of music and I’m tone deaf, so imagine my awe at people who play in an orchestra. How to stay in sync with others, how to follow the sheet music and keep looking at the conductor without losing your place, how to even stop to turn the page without losing a beat… I did observe a few players after pausing to turn pages seemed to pause longer than their neighbor before joining in again. Little breathers, I reckoned. Find yourself some breathing room on Tuesday and you’ll blow them away.


  3. Hi, Dawn – Thank you for sharing this link. I can’t explain why, but school concert bands always bring tears to my eyes (in a good way). Since I was a school principal, with a very strong concert band program…there were tears in my eyes a lot! 😀 I loved your reflection on wondering where those students are today.
    I’m sending warm vibes your way for a wonderful Tuesday night. Katie seems to have complete confidence in you!


  4. Good luck on your concert. I know that I’d be nervous, but then again, I haven’t played since I was in Junior High! Your natural gifts will come through and it will be a grand experience. So cool that you remember that group of kids. I hope they remember you too! I’m sending you well-wishes!!


  5. Best of luck with the concert. You are going to do great!


  6. I bet you’ll do great with your concert. I understand your nerves, of course. Isn’t it something that you remember that bunch of kids? I’m forever astounded by the ways in which we each impact each other as we go through life.


  7. I LOVE John Williams’ music!! I’m sure your band will do just fine. We’re always harder on ourselves. Even if you can’t play every note, you’re still contributing, and I’m positive your audience will be thrilled! How cool you found that link — I’m off to listen right now. Dallas generally snoozes while I’m practicing, too — funny how he never did that when Domer practiced his trumpet (then, he sang along!)


  8. Don’t we all feel anxiety before we need to perform. But it seems like you are all set to do er good performance. I wish you and the rest of the band all the best. By the way, I have always enjoy John Williams music


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