I woke up this morning feeling so wistful. Even before the sky lightened I was watching the trees silhouettes through the window blinds and remembering other holiday seasons, years and years ago, when as a kid I was excited for some time off school, for big fancy meals with family favorites, for lots of company and grownup conversations.
I haven’t felt that excitement for a very long time. Maybe you haven’t either.
Mostly holidays seem like extra work and grownup conversations leave me frustrated and sad. And though I realize I can’t get those childhood days back, I wonder….how do we bring a little bit of joyful excitement to our lives these days? What small things could we do to experience a tiny bit of the wonder of the season?
What suggestions do you have? Let’s share with each other and spread a little hopeful joy around. Tis the season after all.
Change Is Hard 
November 22, 2022 at 9:23 am
What if the idea that I need to bring something IN from the Outside to provide ease and comfort is a lie, an error. When I get restless irritable and discontented, I go seeking ‘to fix it’. This compounds it. I act in fear that I will not get what I want, or fear that I have lost or will lose something I viewed as mine. When I know why I am doing what I am doing/thinking/feeling, I then don’t have to act on it, don’t have to suffer or to feel misery. I begin with small things that if my mind weren’t in expectation, I would truly appreciate. In those moments of appreciate, other moments like it also come. I remember, my head gets more clear. Keeping things small, next right stitch keeps me in contentment feelings. Also, a giggle of sorts, that bittersweet is a protector/remover of ‘evil’ , which for me is the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee in my head always seeing the other shoe dropping, the place where I am not enough or don’t have enough. It reminds me to be present and to watch my motives. I’m really grateful I have those tools. They have granted me my life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 23, 2022 at 12:53 pm
I agree happiness does not come from things…and I’m not exactly afraid of losing something that is mine…I’m more just certain time is growing short, for people I care about and of course myself. There’s definitely a waiting for the other shoe to fall though. I think I am enough. I think I have enough of everything except time.
LikeLike
November 22, 2022 at 10:22 am
Probably impossible to bring back the feeling of anticipation and joy we once had as children. Still, it is possible to have a quieter joy. I am someone who loves cozy and the changing of the seasons. I note with awe how each day gets shorter and shorter, the way the sky looks when the sun sets. Tea and a book is the perfect way to end a short day. Have you read any of Rosamunde Pilcher’s cozy books? Not great literature, but wonderful reads nonetheless. I am also keen on Christmas movies. This time of year I bid farewell to my inner critic and allow myself to revel in sentiment and good cheer. Do you have a tribe, even a small one, where you can express yourself safely and feel as though you are among kindred spirits? If not, are there area groups that might introduce you to such people? The UU church is always a good place to start. Wishing you comfort and good cheer. And please don’t hesitate to continue to share your thoughts on your blog. I am here for you as are many others.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 23, 2022 at 5:48 pm
I have not read the cozy books, I should! I’m having trouble reading books at all this year. I think in all of 2022 I have read 2, possibly 3. That’s so unlike me. I seem to have zero attention span any more. I can’t watch a movie, I am so restless! I do have a tribe, starting with my husband and my siblings, then my dog people friends and my music people friends. Plus friends from college and previous jobs. So I know I’m lucky to have so many people that are willing to listen. Sometimes I just need to take a deep breath.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 22, 2022 at 10:49 am
Hi, Dawn.
I live in the small and tiny moments these days, which really makes like so much better. The thing that pops into my mind around the holidays, though, is a new tradition my brother’s family and I started only last year: we made a trip to the public skating rink in Syracuse for a family day of pathetic skating, followed by a fun restaurant meal and a lot of laughs.
My small great-nephew was so taken by it last year, that he has gotten skating lessons, and is already light years ahead of the adults. You never know what goofy, small thing will inspire someone young onto a bigger thing!
Enjoy your holidays!
Michelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 23, 2022 at 5:50 pm
Oh, one year, many many years ago my family got together for Thanksgiving in Knoxville. I came from Michigan, my sister lived in Knoxville, and my two brothers and my parents were coming up from Alabama. We went ice-skating too!!! We used to live on a lake when we were growing up in Michigan and ice skated every year, but none of us had in years. We were so funny! And it was really too warm for ice, the ice was soft…and very wet. But we had a blast. Thanks for the great memories!
I think I was pretty good at focusing on the small things when I had Katie-girl. Walks with her were all about the small things. She sure made me smile and I miss her so much.
LikeLike
November 22, 2022 at 12:07 pm
I think there is nothing like childhood joy, in many ways. We get a bit jaded as we age – we’ve done it before, seen it before, traveled that road and know the landscape well. Add to that a changing world, but seemingly not in a good way, and it gets a little more difficult. But – maybe taking the time to notice the little things – the way the fireplace flames flicker, the good smells coming from the oven, the intricate differences in the fall leaves – slowing down, lowering expectations. Christmas movies and commercials are not real life, and we shouldn’t expect ours to mirror them – enjoy the fantasies, but also enjoy the reality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 23, 2022 at 5:51 pm
Yes, I will try to concentrate on the small stuff. We’re going to have Thanksgiving dinner with members of my mom’s family, down on the family farm. There will be much wonderful food and conversation. I am, indeed, lucky.
LikeLike
November 22, 2022 at 12:50 pm
Hi Dawn, I know how you feel. Christmas was such an exciting time when I was a kid and even as a young adult. But what we’ve started to do is to make it more about the time together than the gifts. We now only buy stocking stuffers for adults. With COVID things have changed too. My nephew and his family used to host Christmas Eve but we haven’t been inside their house now in over two years. I host Christmas Eve and planning that dinner is fun. My sister and brother-in- law, (not the ones you met, although they’ll be there), host Christmas dinner. We decided to do themes, we’ve done Ugly Sweaters, this year will be a lumberjack theme. Think lots of Buffalo check. And I guess, I try to relax and go with the flow, what doesn’t get done probably didn’t really matter.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 23, 2022 at 5:53 pm
Yes, we don’t do gifts much either. and someday we’ll all be together in one spot again! That will be fun! Hopefully this summer. Themes would be fun…we’ve never done that. I think we’ll need to see photos of that Buffalo check! 🙂
LikeLike
November 22, 2022 at 2:19 pm
Last year — ! Last Christmas my husband and I stayed by ourselves and spent most of the day on our big bed with Peasy, as if it were a life raft, but we weren’t worried about starving or sinking or shark attack. We watched movies, had a couple good meals, cuddled, dozed, napped. David said it was the most relaxed Christmas he’d ever had and he loved it. Now I look back and love the memory of it. The other thing we did was talk to family and friends by phone, connecting even though we were miles and miles apart. It wasn’t what you would call an exciting day, I guess, but we were very contented and happy. I think this year I will talk again to family and also look at photos. I have to make this, for myself, a season if not of excitement (that’s too much to expect), certainly one of gratitude, and I think that will get me through.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 23, 2022 at 5:54 pm
That sounds like a lovely day. Bruce and I have on some occasions spent holidays alone together here. They are always relaxing days, I don’t make big fancy meals…we nap a lot. Katie always liked it when it was just us. I’m sure Peasy loved it too. Good memories, but I’m sure this year is a bit bittersweet with your little girl.
LikeLike
November 22, 2022 at 3:30 pm
I think the feelings of childhood – are curiosity, wonder and perhaps anticipation – and you can do this by taking classes, learning, going new places, planning to travel in unknown places and perhaps make new traditions or leave all the traditions behind. Life in a no rule – life – doing life as a child does. They do what they want – and explore and be themselves.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 23, 2022 at 5:56 pm
I love learning new things. I gave blood today and have been told my veins ‘roll’ so I asked the nurse inserting the needle what that meant and she gave me an anatomy lesson about veins and tissue that was really interesting. Always something to learn. Of course it would be more FUN to learn about painting or travel… 🙂 Good advice to follow the child’s lead.
LikeLike
November 22, 2022 at 5:55 pm
I think learning something new is the best way for me to spark some childhood feelings. Like today, I listened to a 20 minute podcast about the origin of plaid….and I was so excited about what I learned. Then I thought…there is so much more for me to learn!!! On my way home, I learned about the origin of the Hawaiian shirt. Equally eye opening.
Does this make me a nerd?😂
Small Thanksgiving for us, but that’s how I like it. I still get excited about time off from school. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 23, 2022 at 5:57 pm
I think you are the very best kind of nerd.
20 minutes on plaid?? I bet if we look there’s a museum for plaid somewhere.
And I totally get you being excited for time off from school!!!!!
LikeLike
November 23, 2022 at 2:44 am
I know exactly what you mean. For me Christmas has lost that magic too, but I suppose it is all part of growing and aging. Last year I bought myself an advent calendar with seeds in it for each day. It was exciting to see what each new packet would hold, and I made a ritual of opening it by first making myself some spicy fruit tea. 😃 I hope you find a way to recapture some of that childlike joy this holiday Dawn!
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 23, 2022 at 5:59 pm
Ooooh…that sounds like a perfect advent calendar!!! And seeds have such hope, hope that the snow will melt someday and hope that you will have a big crop of yummy stuff. I love seeds. The local nursery sells then 50% off for the entire month of February. That’s when I know spring is on the way!
I hope I find some childhood joy too! THank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 23, 2022 at 4:11 am
I must admit I don’t like Christmas…my only memories of it are of being lonely, sad, disappointed and wondering why everyone else seemed to like it so much. It’s been that way my entire life and sadly that is the only memory I have of it……I stopped many many years ago trying to make it something it will never be for me.
LikeLike
November 23, 2022 at 6:00 pm
I remember you telling me that you didn’t like Christmas. I’m sad that you’ve been sad and lonely growing up…but I know that Christmas is different for everyone and lots of people enjoy quiet days away from the hustle of the season. I hope you and Dave and the boys get to take a nice long walk on a beach or through the jungle, that would be so fun!
LikeLike
November 23, 2022 at 6:07 am
I know exactly what you mean. Just last night I spent almost an hour looking at old Thanksgiving gathering photos. Traditions changed through death and divorce, my husband made our own new traditions by volunteering in a soup kitchen or just taking a big walk on the day. I am glad I can look back and have the memories, but as you change is hard. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 23, 2022 at 6:01 pm
I am grateful to have good memories. Death has depleted my family, but we had good times when everyone was around. Good idea to volunteer somewhere. And for sure we’ll take a walk!
LikeLike
November 23, 2022 at 1:45 pm
I’m still struggling with the thanksgiving-thru-christmas changes in my family and life. I still don’t have answers. I’m trying to take joy in the relaxing comfort of a small TDay dinner with just 3 of us instead of 12 or 15 or 18. There was also something exhilarating about having all the conversations and jokes flowing and changing and growing and fading and surrounded by people you’ve known all or most of your life.
It was even tough, just the 3 of us talking yesterday about what did we want to make for dinner for tomorrow–two of us being light eaters usually. A whole turkey makes no sense. Having more than one dessert makes no sense–well, I could justify it normally 😉 — but the other 2 are leaving town for 2 weeks immediately after. A couple of vegetables is fine, we don’t need everything. Like that. We’ll make it work. We like each others’ company.
LikeLike
November 23, 2022 at 6:04 pm
I’m glad you have each other. I know what you’re saying. There’s something about having a big noisy family surrounding you for a day. Even the heat that all the cooking and the people put out, that hot feeling in the house where the windows steam up…that’s all part of it.
Last year I made a turkey breast in the slowcooker and it was perfect. I planned on making that again, but we got invited to a relative’s Thanksgiving. So I’ll make it later in the week. It’s easy, if you want the recipe you could do it for Christmas. Let me know.
And if I was choosing….I’d go with two pies and only one vegie. Just saying. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 23, 2022 at 8:12 pm
Two pies, ha! Of course. I would, too, but I’m TRYing to get more veggies into our diets here. We debated turkey breast & drumstick or a chicken, and there is someone among us who doesn’t care for turkey, so for stuffing/dressing possibilities, we’re going with a whole chicken this time.
I hope you and your relatives have a good steamy time.
LikeLike
November 24, 2022 at 2:29 am
Wow, lots of great thoughts here. Your readers are super, Dawn. COVID sure took its toll. We don’t gather like we used to. We don’t touch and hug like we used to. The heck with vegies … let’s do pies!! 🙂
LikeLike
November 30, 2022 at 6:13 pm
Pies should happen every day. Well…except the calories included in pies. Yes, I have the best readers! They always come through when I’m feeling down. Or to celebrate something with me. Or just to give me company. Thanks for being one of them.
LikeLike
November 25, 2022 at 8:45 am
I rarely read all the comments, but on this one, I am glad I did. I think it is so hard to lose that excitement and awe for, well, lots of things. My husband had a childlike wonder and enthusiasm that spilled out onto anyone in his presence. There is a void that will never be filled for me. I try to muster up something but it’s not always easy. Covid really threw the kybosh on so much, didn’t it? Where there was, there is no more. I am hoping this year will be different. I love the busyness and steamy windows and loud and laughter and all that goes with large gatherings (once per year!)
I’m now going to tell my mother that no, I WILL take a pie at Christmas (she makes us as many as we want, in the flavours we desire…)
LikeLike
November 30, 2022 at 6:15 pm
Oh….a homemade pie! My sister does that too. I CAN make a pie but my sister is really the pie maker. Enjoy your pie, what kind do you think she’ll make for you? That would be a nice blog post. I’m sorry about your husband, that’s a huge loss, and you’re right, a void that will never be filled. As it shouldn’t…he will always hold that place in your life, regardless of where he is now. Sending you hugs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 1, 2022 at 7:54 am
Yes! She makes us each the number of meat pies we want and a fruit pie to our taste. I might get sugar or cherry… Pie crust does not like me so I have to limit myself. I will be freezing it in slices. Thanks re: Mick. It will be 8 years this month… I miss him terribly. I do have a fella who understands that part of my heart is reserved – and that there is still lots of room 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 1, 2022 at 9:50 am
That’s a LOT of pie making! I’m glad you have a fella who understands.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 1, 2022 at 1:10 pm
That it is.
And yes, I am lucky… if only he didn’t live an 8.5 hour car ride away… Sigh.
LikeLike
November 25, 2022 at 2:45 pm
More pies.
LikeLike
November 30, 2022 at 6:16 pm
Kind of like “more cowbell” in band…. always true.
LikeLike
November 30, 2022 at 6:57 pm
LoL I’ve seen that skit : “More Cowbell”
But really truly, this Thanksgiving made me sad, ’cause nobody was going to eat together, and nobody was gonna eat any pie and enjoy it. 😦 Beth
LikeLike
November 30, 2022 at 11:48 am
I felt excited when I saw your picture. I don’t much like the major holidays, to be honest, but I do take a lot of pleasure from nature.
LikeLike
November 30, 2022 at 6:17 pm
Bittersweet is an invasive plant here in Michigan, but it’s so pretty this time of year when nothing much else is colorful. Still…I never used to see much of it and now it’s everywhere. Makes for a good photo though!
LikeLike