Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Loss x 2

43 Comments

Last week I lost two friends within 5 days of each other. They were from two different parts of my life and didn’t know each other but they were very much alike.

Friday August 2 a very special lady went to join her husband in heaven. Her name was Nancy and we’d been friends for almost 40 years. We met when she was hired by the bank where I was a trainer. She and four others were hired to be branch managers and I trained them for a couple weeks in our teller systems.

In 1985 I moved back into our branch system as a floating manager, and I worked in Nancy’s branch for several months, driving more than an hour each way every day. We became good friends when she invited me to stay with her, in her lakeside home, to ease my commute. She was gentle, sweet, empathetic and had a huge heart. She was always smiling, and had the best giggle. She was everybody’s mom.

And, 35 years ago, she and her husband, Bob, introduced me to my now husband.

This is the only picture I can find of Bob and Nancy, from our wedding in 1990.

When Bob and Nancy retired they moved to Arizona and, sadly, Bob died from pancreatic cancer shortly after. But Nancy and we have stayed friends, calling once in awhile, visiting when we could, annual holiday cards. During my last call to her she told me she was thinking about moving into an assisted living facility, and as she described it I told her it sounded nice. Then a few days later she accidently called my husband, and during their conversation told him the same thing.

She moved into her new apartment a few months ago, but suffered a fall and was in the hospital when her heart failed. Her son called me with the news.

I think, now, about our last visit with her back in February of 2020. We stayed with her a single night, and then traveled around the state, visiting beautiful places. But I got sick on that trip and we didn’t want to infect her so we called her and told her we wouldn’t be coming back to the house, instead we’d find a hotel near the airport for our last night in Arizona. We told her we’d be back out to visit her.

And then….covid. We never got back out to Arizona to see her again, and that makes me really sad, but we will keep her in our hearts forever. She loved and grieved for her husband so much for the many years that she survived him that we’re thankful she is with him again. That must have been some reunion.

But man, I’m going to miss her giggle.

I’ll tell you about the other special person I lost in the next post. They each deserve their own space. And the combined grief is just too much.

Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

43 thoughts on “Loss x 2

  1. I’m so sorry, Dawn, to read that you suffered two losses so close together. I’m afraid we’re at the age where some of our besties are slipping into eternity sooner that we expect. You pay a wonderful tribute to Nancy. May she rest in peace.

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    • You are right. We’re at that age now where friends and family are going on ahead. When I think that in 20 years I’ll be almost 90, if I’m lucky, I realize that 20 years is the blink of an eye. I think I’m having my mid-life crisis late.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh, Dawn! I am so sorry for the loss of your two friends. Sending you love, hugs, and prayers that you may find peace and comfort in your memories. ❤️

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  3. I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a lovely person. Loss seems to be surrounding us all lately— our lives are richer because of these people but it sure hurts when we lose them. Thinking of you, my friend.

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  4. Dawn so sorry for your loss. Her memory will always be with you when you spend time with your husband. Prayer and peace.

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  5. Dawn, this is beautiful. We all need a Nancy in our lives…peace to you. Love the wedding photo!

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  6. How sad it is that your friend died. And that you weren’t able to visit with her on your last trip to Arizona.

    Wonderful wedding picture!

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  7. so sorry, Dawn! It is hard to lose old friends. Each one is irreplaceable.

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  8. so sorry for your loss. Nancy sounds like one of those rare, genuinely nice people.

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  9. Oh Dawn I am so deeply, deeply sorry. Nancy sounded like such a wonderful person. Sending (((hugs)))) “May her memory be a blessing.”

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  10. Gosh, Dawn, what sad news. Losing even one friend is hard, but losing two — and so close together — is indeed double the loss. I’m so sorry. Nancy sounds like a lovely person — and how cool that she introduced you and your hubs! I hope in time that you’ll zero in on all the good and happy memories you shared but for now, taking time to grieve comes first. Hugs, my friend!

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  11. My deepest condolences, Dawn. Losing friends is just as hard as losing family because they are chosen. This was a lovely tribute to Nancy. Hugs to you.

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  12. My deepest condolences on the loss of our two friends.

    Beautiful wedding photo!

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  13. How sad to lose two close friends just days apart and if not for your friendship with Nancy and Bob, you would not have met your future husband, so an extra pang of sadness to this loss.

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  14. So very sorry for your losses, Dawn. That’s very heavy 😔.

    Deb

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  15. My sympathy, Dawn. We make so much room for people in our hearts and their absence can leave one feeling … empty, I guess.

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  16. “Pen to paper” is a good way to grieve. Thank you for sharing with us.

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  17. Sorry for your losses Dawn.

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  18. I am so sorry- 2 losses so close together, hard to bear. Thank you for giving us a glimpse into the person Nancy was, and your relationship. As Terri said in her comment, we are coming of an age where the losses seem to be right around the corner everyday. Make me realize now is the time for things, not later.

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  19. That’s so difficult, these losses. I hope expressing your love for these folks in these posts was healing for you.

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