Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

A state funeral for a dad

23 Comments

The news has been so sad lately. Images of California neighborhoods fully engulfed in flames mixed with those of President Carter’s coffin being delivered to our nation’s capitol by a horse-drawn caisson. The lines of people solemnly passing by the coffin in the Rotunda. And, more privately, two different friends of mine learning to live without their own parents.

But this morning my husband and I watched the state funeral for our 39th President, and afterward I felt a little better. No, California isn’t better, the devastation there is beyond understanding, and my friends are still deep in grief, but watching the ceremony honoring President Carter took the edge off my sadness.

Not to say I didn’t cry a little bit during the service. The first tears fell when President Ford’s son, Steven, spoke. Before he began to read his dad’s eulogy for President Carter, he extended his heartfelt condolences to the “Carter children.” It seems back when his own dad died in 2006 the Carter kids offered his family support and comfort. Now he was returning the love.

I remember the funeral of President Ford, it was only a couple years after the funerals of my own parents. The pain on the faces of the Ford children was so intense and I knew, deep inside, what they were feeling. I wanted to hug them all and tell them they were not alone. And now here are the Carter children. Not children anymore by any means, but still grieving their dad a year after their mom. Heartbroken.

Most of the speakers caused me to shed a tear, each of them deeply touched by the life of Jimmy Carter. The grandchildren speaking made it clear that his legacy is in good hands, that the mission of making the world a better place will continue uninterrupted. Grandson Jason heads up the work, and spoke so movingly of his PawPaw, making us laugh and cry, just like, I’m sure, all the kids, grandkids and great-grands are doing tonight as they sit around telling stories after a long day sharing their Jimmy with all of us.

And one of the sweetest moments came toward the end while Garth Brooks and his wife Trisha Yearwood sang John Lennon’s “Imagine.” Somewhere in the middle of that quiet, gentle song the camera swung to President Biden who was singing along. “Some may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.”

So what was my big take-away from this celebration of love? That Jimmy Carter was a husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather and that he was a regular guy who wore shorts and crocs and struggled with his new fangled cell phone just like all of us.

For a couple of hours today I could forget about all the stuff going on in the world, in our country, in my part of the universe. For a couple of hours I could immerse myself in times long gone, remembering most of them, the celebrations, the grief, the wins, the losses.

I was reminded that we’ve been through hard times before and we made it to the other side. And I’m reassured that there are more good, regular people out there than we sometimes realize. And that most of us are just regular folks trying to do the best we can.

Just like President Carter did for the entirety of his 100 years.

Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

23 thoughts on “A state funeral for a dad

  1. He was such a beautiful human being. A much-deserved ceremony.

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  2. I love your closing paragraph, Dawn. That’s exactly what I needed to hear at this time. ❤

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  3. President Carter was a wonderful human being who worked tirelessly for so many causes. He now will rest beside his beloved wife of 77 years. I had read Steven Ford’s eulogy written by his dad earlier and was touched by it as well. There are so many sad events swirling around us these days. I have watched countless videos on Twitter/X of the devastating wildfires and my heart goes out to all those people.

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    • You might want to click on the link in my blog that takes you to Steven Ford speaking. The first few seconds or maybe a minute, are him talking prior to reading his dad’s eulogy of President Carter. He’s talking to the Carter children and it’s so touching.

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      • Thank you for sending me back to the video of Steven Ford’s speech Dawn. I had only read his recitation of his dad’s eulogy. That was a nice touch to acknowledge the Carter children and remember how special their dad made their family feel 18 years prior. Despite the fact that Gerald Ford was from Michigan, I never knew of his deep friendship with Jimmy Carter which began when they went to attend the funeral of Sadat.

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  4. Love your tribute! We also watched from the Netherlands and were deeply moved.

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  5. He was an amazing man, and I appreciate the reminder that there are more like him going about good work in the world. Love and hugs and thank you for a summary of the event. Perhaps I’ll watch the recording of it someday.

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  6. I’ve long thought it was time for Americans to join together, putting aside their hate and indifference, and helping one another the way Carter did. Not only did he help with others’ material needs (like building homes for them to live in), but he led by example, working alongside folks of different races, sexes, and creeds. I think most of us are tired of the bitterness of heart that divides us. You’d think the awful tragedies we hear every day on the news would spur us to make some changes. Carter was a humble, devout man … our loss is Heaven’s gain. Lovely tribute, Dawn — thank you for saying so well what many of us are thinking and feeling.

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    • I think there are many who are working hard at making a difference. They are not celebrated often, and it would be nice to gather even more people into that role. But we can only cause one person to join the ranks, and that’s ourself. Scary and hard, but worth it in the end.

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  7. I’m glad you watched the funeral and shed some tears and felt better afterward. It was the same with me, and I’m sure that’s what President Carter would have wanted — for our nation to join as one in celebration not only of his life but of the work he did and the work that remains to be done. Time to roll up our sleeves now, as Jimmy did.

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    • Yes. Perhaps he designed the ceremony to inspire us. Who knows when all the details were worked out. But I think he, like my aunt, planned every bit of it. Yes, it’s time to get to work.

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  8. Dawn, this is beautiful. Many people claim to be servants of God, but Jimmy Carter truly was – a lifetime of devotion, celebrated by all.

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  9. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to watch any of the funeral. Imagine is my absolute favorite song ever. I’m glad I have that in common with President Carter, a true humanitarian and civil servant.

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  10. I was home sick and I watched a bit of the ceremony and I agree, it was a wonderful ceremony and celebration of a great man, who had he not been president, many of us would have never known. He was a former president for almost forty-four years and he did more good in those years than many of us do in our entire lives. I’ve seen and read a lot of negativity on social media from the hard core right about Carter and I shake my head and I realize I should be curious and not judgmental. It is not up to me, it’s up to someone else to be the judge. I only hope that I can come close to the good Carter did in his one hundred years. May he rest in peace.

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    • I agree, we should be curious so that maybe we can begin to understand the other point of view. Because THAT’S what makes American great, understanding there are other points of view. And allowing them.

      It was a very touching ceremony, even if you weren’t a Carter fan while he was in office, I can’t think why you wouldn’t admire him at least a little, for all the work he did after.

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      • So agree! He was elected because he WASN’T from the DC establishment. We should not be defined by what we did as a job or for a short period of time, but all the good we did before or afterwards. We are entire body of work. Be curious not judgmental!

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