William H. Badger. February 4th, 1929 – December 23, 2004.
Remembering
Author Archives: dawnkinster
A heavy morning
I haven’t been watching the news. I had a busy week and weekend, including our community band holiday concert just yesterday afternoon. So last night when my husband told me about Brown University’s mass shooting and then we began hearing about the Australian mass shooting I was horrified. And when I turned on the news this morning in order to learn more about those events I was even more sad to see the story about Rob Reiner and his wife Michele.
It’s a lot, isn’t it, so much horrific news in just a few days. It’s hard to pile the sadness of each news story on top of the sadness already carried about the news story before. It seems there is so little good news anymore. Though I know that’s not true.
I remember being a student at the University of Michigan when the Virginia Tech mass shooting happened. And how, ever after that (and I should have felt this way before, after all Virginia Tech was not the first) I would plan where I’d go if a shooter entered a classroom I was in.
Today I listened to a Brown University graduate student describe seeing the gunman enter the lecture hall in which he was studying. How he texted his love to his family, how he held the hand of another student who had been shot. My eyes filmed over with tears. Two students dead, nine injured.
Today I watched the footage of hundreds of people fleeing a beach in Australia, people who had been there celebrating the first day of Hanukkha. The Jewish menorah represents light and hope but it’s hard to process that in a world full of hate. At least fifteen people dead and dozens injured.
Today I heard the news about Rob Reiner and his wife Michele, found stabbed to death in their California home yesterday afternoon. I sort of met them in St. Mark’s Square in Venice back in 2006 when Mrs. Reiner asked me to take a family picture of the four of them. I didn’t know who they were until after when my husband told me. But that’s another story. So many classic lines from movies he directed that we use regularly. “I’ll have what she’s having.” “You can’t handle the truth.” “Have fun storming the castle.” (A favorite of my family.) Such a loss.
Today I learned of the three US service members killed in Syria. I know there are people being killed all over the world. Gaza. Ukraine. Haiti. Somalia. And more, so many more. Still, US service members killed by terrorists leaves a special and deep hurt on our hearts.
It’s hard not to feel such a hopeless, heavy sadness in the midst of so much hate. Maybe it’s always been this way. I suppose it has. But for years now we’ve been seeing it in high definition color and it takes a toll. And not watching the news only means that when you do turn it on you’re overwhelmed by it all.
But also this morning, on the news, I heard a part of the 2025 Heisman Trophy winner, Indiana’s quarterback Fernando Mendoza’s, speach. He addressed his mother, remembering her lessons as he was growing up. ““You taught me that toughness doesn’t need to be loud, it can be quiet and strong.” And that, right there, gave me hope and a smile.
I’m turning the TV off now, on that smile. If you’re feeling heavy, too, I send you a virtual hug. A real one if you’re close by. Let’s process the bad news, and look for the good. It’s the only way to get through these days.
The one no one notices
Some birds get all the attention. You know the ones. They’ve got beautiful bright feathers and they like to show off.
But I’ve been watching Mrs. Cardinal as she frequents my birdfeeders. Her subtle coloring is as beautiful as the flashy feathers of her mate. She’s a quiet beauty.
For the past couple of days there have been several female cardinals at the feeders, in the branches of the protective honeysuckle bush, and hiding among the last leaves of the beech tree.
I notice how beautiful she is glowing in the light. whether it’s the early morning slanted sunrise or during an afternoon snow storm. She’s modest, though, and won’t sit and pose for long.
You have to be satisfied with her brief appearances and wait, hopefull, for your next glimpse.
I noticed Mr. Cardinal watching her too. He seemed as smitten as me.
It’s my birthday and I’ll nap if I want to
Penny here, Happy Birthday to me! Today I turn the big THREE, and mom says she doesn’t know how that could have happened already. She says I don’t act a day over one. Maybe one and a half.
I like to keep my girlish ways, you know?
Mom says now that I’m beyond my terrible twos I’m supposed to settle down. Don’t tell her but I’m planning on going into my tasmanian threes.
Starting today.
Anyway, I had a very good year, and I can’t wait to find out what I’m going to do next!
Meanwhile today I will be expecting cake and ice cream with candles and gifts wrapped in pretty paper.
Or extra kibble for dinner. I’m good either way.
See you all later, your birthday girl, Penny.
Giving Tuesday is here!
It’s always hard to ask for money. But when your passion for the cause overrides your reticence you just have to squish down those scary thoughts and do it.
So I am.
There are lots and lots of families out there going through unimaginable pain. But I can imagine it, because my family is one of them. When dad was killed December 23rd, 2004 our lives shattered. We’ve patched things back together over the 20 years but you can still see, and always will see, the mended cracks.
Other families out there need support and advice and shoring up. Also hugs. The hugs we can give for free but the rest takes money. So I’m asking you to donate today, Giving Tuesday. Please give with heart, give with love.
Here’s the link to donate directly to the Truck Safety Coalition: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/iwbwhq/
We promise to forward your love on to shattered families. Help us help them to begin to heal.
Thank you.
Happy Thanksgiving
This morning as I’ve been fixing the big dinner I’ve been watching my birds out the window and my Penny-girl napping inside and feeling grateful that I’m in my warm house looking out at a windy cold yard. It’s 32F here (0 C) and it feels, because of the wind, like 19F (-7.22C).
I know the birds watch me as I fill the feeders every morning. Every day, before I’m back in the house they’re usually fluttering around picking at their favorite spot. This morning I somehow missed the goldfinch feeder and as I was walking to the shower later I noticed a big bunch of them all huddled around the very bottom of their feeder.
That’s all the seed there was left, just a bit at the very bottom.
I thought about going out and filling it after my shower. But they were hungry now. So I ran out without a coat and hurridely filled their feeder with thistle. Then I went inside to watch. No finches. I waited some more. One finch dropped down onto the beech tree, contemplated the feeder swaying in the wind.
“Come on little guy,” I murmered, “it’s right there for you, all fresh and nice.” He waivered and clung to his branch. “Come on sweetie, I whispered.” He tentatively flew to the top of the hook and looked around. Then he hopped down to the feeder and began to greedly eat. Suddenly finches came from all over, and swarmed the feeder.
I smiled.
Happy Thanksgiving little ones. Happy Thanksgiving.
And happy Thanksgiving to all of you. We hope you have a wonderful, warm and belly-filling day. Penny added that last bit about the belly. She has her priorities.
Giving Tuesday is coming to a blogger near you.
Giving Tuesday, an annual event that started on Facebook (I think) and has since morphed into all sorts of activities, is coming up. Always the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, this year it will be December 2.
For the past several years I’ve used the date to raise funds for the Truck Safety Coalition, and I will this year too. I like to give you all a heads up before so that you can do your research and think about where you’d like to donate your hard earned money.
As always I remind everyone that large truck crashes aren’t partisan. The semi that slams into the back of your car doesn’t care whether you’re Republican or Democrat. It doesn’t care what race or gender or religion you are. It’s irrelevant whether you have family waiting for you at home or only your pet dog.
Dad lived alone back in 2004 when he put his suitcase in the trunk of his car and headed for the Atlanta airport in the predawn hours of December 23rd. He didn’t know he’d never make it to the airport. I picture him pulling up the driveway for that last time, blissfully unaware of what waited for him.
More than 5,000 people die in crashes involving large trucks every year. More than 100,000 are injured. It’s not all the trucking industry’s fault, some of it is caused by those of us in cars doing stupid things. Both sides of that issue warrent additional vigilance on the road.
For the record, dad was slowed in traffic that was being guided around a previous wreck when he was hit from behind by a semi driven by a sleepy driver who didn’t see all the traffic stopped ahead of him.
The Truck Safety Coalition was there for my family 20 years ago and it’s still there for families that have been turned upside down by a crash. TSC provides support and advice and the opportunity to use their grief to make change for the better.
So I’m asking you to consider donating to the Truck Safety Coalition for Giving Tuesday this year. I’ll post again with a link soon. You don’t have to wait until December 5th to donate, but you can if you want to.
I’ll be sure to remind you.
Dad, ever on my mind and especially as we approach his crash anniversary, tells me to tell you thanks for the years of support you’ve given me and my family. And thanks for considering making a donation this year too.
It helps us to realize we are not alone.
And then there was light
You probably saw on the news that there was a very large solar event this week. Tuesday night was supposed to be stunning, with the kind of aurora lights we saw a couple years ago. Of course Tuesday night I was in band and when I got home our skies were cloud covered.
I went to bed disappointed.
Wednesday night the weather folks and those forecasting the aurora said it wouldn’t be as spectacular as Tuesday had been, but we had a good chance of seeing the lights. And this time the skies over my head were mostly clear!
The aurora last night was fickle. I watched the numbers, and went outside numerous times, once it was dark, to check using my phone to take sample images, thinking maybe, just maybe there was a bit of a pink tinge to the northern sky.
Eventually the numbers got better and I dragged my camera, tripod and a chair out to my backyard. I had considered driving somewhere that would provide me a clearer view of the horizon, but lots of stuff kept me home.
I figured if I saw it, I saw it and if I didn’t, well, I’d see a lot of images online in the morning.
Sitting in my own backyard took a lot of the stress out of finding a place with a clear view, worrying about other people, cars with headlights, or huffing deer.
It was actually pretty comfortable, even relaxing, out there. So comfortable I didn’t spend enough time focusing on the stars, so they’re not the pinpricks they’re supposed to be. And of course the trees, that were quite close to me, are out of focus. You can’t focus on both the stars and the trees!
But the color, oh the color, was wonderful … if only for a few minutes. I think I spent 30 or 40 minutes out there before the color faded and the clouds blew in around 10 p.m. This morning I read that the lights came back out later in the night, but I was long asleep by then.
I don’t have the most wonderous images. I didn’t have a view of the horizon so I couldn’t see much of the green dome below the red lights. My stars aren’t in focus. There’s no great foreground.
But for almost an hour I sat in the comfort of my yard, staring at the sky and smiling. If I hadn’t taken even one image I’d still have been happy that I went out into the night searching for Lady Aurora.
I hope some or all of you got a glimpse too. If not….squint at these images and imagine being out under the stars. I’m willing to share.
One of the cool things about an event like this is that I know so many people are out there staring up at the sky too. We’re all looking at the same big sky, and for one or two nights the rest of the crazy world falls away. I never feel alone when I’m out under the stars and I usually don’t even feel the cold until I’m back inside. It’s an amazing experience.
All these images are pretty much the way they came out of the camera (or phone). I cropped a few, tried to clean up the fuzziness of a couple others. But mostly they’re the way they looked in the camera. You couldn’t see any of this with your naked eye.
If you ever get the opportunity, go out and watch the aurora. Take your phone or camera with you, it probably will be the only way you’ll see it. But it’s worth the adventure.
Change Is Hard 