Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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Too busy to know

I’m feeling  disconnected.   I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had time to post or even read very much.   Katie and I had school Monday night, I played in a concert Tuesday night and I worked late last night.  I still haven’t caught up with that lost hour of last weekend’s daylight savings time adjustment.  Here it is after 8 and I’ve just sat down for the evening.  Where is the time going?

So.  A little bit of this, a little bit of that.  Let’s start with Katie and school.  This week was our second week in the correct, ‘Novice Motivation’ class.   In last week’s class I felt like we were a bother for the instructor who clearly didn’t remember we used to come all the time.  Because Katie wasn’t up to the instructor’s expectations with heeling we were pretty much ignored.  A lot of eye rolling went with the ignoring.  About the only thing she said to me was “you’re a nice Mom.”  And she didn’t mean it as a compliment.  Even though Katie did a perfect recall and was perfect at her sits and downs she would hide behind me every time the instructor with her loud voice came near.  I felt terrible.

This week Katie and I practiced during the week, her Dad didn’t feed her just before class, and she was less afraid of the big noisy building.  And I was more diligent with my corrections when she wandered.  So Katie gave me a bit more attention, though not much more than the week before.  And on her long sit she laid down.  Twice.  So when we did the long down I made her sit.  She was not happy with me.  “All the other dogs get to lay down MOM!!!”   Her recall is still good.  I felt a bit better by the end of the class.  We haven’t practiced heeling this week at all.  I have too much going on and I need to make time for practice this weekend or I’ll be miserable at school again on Monday night.  It’s so hard to get there by 6:30 when I work an hour south of here and class is 30 minutes north of here and I have to swing by and pick up the dog.  OK enough whining.

Tuesday night we played a concert with the 7th graders again.  I didn’t have time to practice since our last concert, but it went OK.  Personally I think we played too long for those 200 7th graders to sit still.  But we DID have a captive full house audience!

Tuesday and Wednesday were really terrible at work.  I can’t talk about it but suffice it to say that if I could retire right now I’d be gone.  Again.  I hope it’s just a bad string of days and not the way it’s going to be into the future.  I’m very very tired.  OK.  Enough whining now.

So maybe it’s just as well I’ve been too busy to hang out here.  Because I don’t feel like I’m very good company.  Katie’s barking.  Again.  She barked for an hour last night at 2:00 a.m.  We finally put her in her crate.  It was heaven to sleep without her. Could be I’m a slow learner and she should be there every night.  We’ll see.

OH!  And I forgot the whole point of this post was supposed to be that I’m too busy to notice stuff.  It took me almost all day to realize why so many people were wearing green today.   I guess I’ve been too busy to realize the month of March was…well..(forgive me!)… marching on.  Here we are at St. Patty’s and I didn’t even know it.

I don’t suppose wearing green tomorrow would be the same.


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When music fills the night

Last night my husband and I were privileged to spend another evening with the Ann Arbor Symphony.  The program, titled Russian Romance,  included three pieces all energetic, rich with imagery, full bodied and lush.

They opened with the Overture to Rusland and Ludmila, from an Opera about a princess and her betrothed warrior, composed by Mikhail Glinka in the mid 1800’s.   The strings raced up and down long runs of notes as if they were a single instrument, the clarinet showcased in the middle captured my heart and the sound of the orchestra swelled and filled the hall with such a robust sound it was clear this piece was meant to be a fanfare for the rest of the evening.

Also on the program was Symphony No. 5 composed by Prokofiev in 1944.  Each of the four movements brought such imagery to my mind.  The first movement reminded me of a massive Russian army marching across a cold barren landscape.  The second movement was more “Peter and the Wolf ” -ish, only bigger, with animals running and frolicking in a deep Russian woods.  I’m pretty sure I heard an elephant or two in there as well.  I think this movement was my favorite.    The third movement started off reminding me of a dream scape, soft, floating, somewhat sad.  But it quickly turns into a nightmare with shrieking woodwinds and ranting strings moving closer and closer to some horrifying climatic event that we didn’t even want to imagine.  The fourth movement combined bits of all three, the playfulness of movement two intertwined with the marching army of movement one and the dreams in movement three.  And it all came to a crazy, frenetic, crashing conclusion that left us all gasping for air even as we began to applaud our appreciation.

But the highlight of the evening?  The twenty-five year old Israeli pianist Roman Rabinovich playing the Piano Concerto No. 3 by Rachmaninoff.  Prior to the concert he gave a little talk, and when asked what we as audience members should listen for during his performance he paused…thought a moment…then said: “There are a lot of notes.  And you should listen to every one of them.”  We all laughed.  Later he said we “shouldn’t think too much…just let the music take you.”  Good advice.

It started out lush and full as if someone was falling in love, then moved into a playful period, as if the two lovers were enjoying their new relationship.  But soon ominous tones began to infiltrate; trouble in paradise?  The music became more frantic and it became clear (to me anyway) that this was the story of an overly dramatic teenager.  Then came slower, and more plaintive music, almost contemplative music that moved toward angst and confusion.  Then the flutes calmed the senses and the oboe has a conversation with the rest of the orchestra as well as the piano.   The music become plaintive again and then the piano takes over, reminding me of an older couple walking hand in hand through the landscape, remembering their history together, the memories portrayed in different parts of the movement lively and full of life, including the dancing of a waltz together near the end of the lives.

Then the music chages again and it is as if we are on horses galloping through hills and woods, perhaps on a hunt.  We’re soaring over fields and I followed the pianist’s advice…I let go and flowed with the music for the rest of the piece.  I can’t tell you the details from this point on…it was as if we were flying and this talented young man was the horse with wings.   As the piece came to an end with a lush, fully orchestrated swell I knew the young lovers, the older couple and everyone in the audience lived happily ever after.

And as the last note slipped into the heavens the audience erupted.  Rabinovich played three encores; it was as if we couldn’t let him go.  Such talent.

What a gift all the musicians gave to us last night.  I wish you all could have been there.


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Winter slides away

Maybe it’s just me being hopeful, but this morning I could almost feel spring in the air.

Yes there’s still snow on the ground.  In fact it snowed yesterday and it’s supposed to snow again this weekend. But like the snow sliding down the windshield of the car parked out front I feel winter sliding away.

This morning Katie and I were out in the driveway practicing our heeling.  (I think I almost have it down now.  She says it’s about time.)  Across the street birds began singing and as I glanced that way I think I saw a flock of robins!  Squirrels are playing.  The SUN is shining!  The birch trees in the back yard are glowing.  And there are tulips poking their little green heads up through the snow by the front door.  Mostly I think spring is in the air because Katie wants to be OUTSIDE NOW MOM!  And she doesn’t want to come back in after our trip to the mailbox to mail our weekly letter.

I bet if I checked blog posts from a year ago I’d find that I was saying the same thing.  Every year I get my hopes up.  Maybe this year, after such a difficult winter, spring will slide into my world without first dashing my hopes.

Hope springs eternal.  So they say.


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Signs of spring

We still have snow on the ground even though it rained all day yesterday.  And with so much water on and in the ground this morning we are waking up to a fog advisory.  Less than an 1/8 of a mile visibility here.  It’s going to be another interesting commute!

But last night, at 2:30 in the morning as Katie and I were exploring outside to find the perfect spot I noticed how quiet it was.  I could hardly hear the freeway, and the air felt soft and warm.  I almost wanted to stay out longer to enjoy it.  But it was 2:30 in the morning and I have to go to work today.

This morning as Katie and I were outside looking for another perfect spot I heard what I thought was one cardinal calling from high up in a tree to my left.  Or was he to my right?  Or maybe across the street?  As I listened I realized there were three cardinals all calling together, one after another, around and around me.  Singing their hearts out.

And yesterday driving home from work I saw two hawks sitting side by side in a tree near the freeway.  I’ve never seen hawks sit next to each other like that.  I prefer to think that they’re in love…another sign of spring.

But the clincher was this morning when, while picking up the newspaper at the end of the driveway, I could hear my neighbor, two houses down yelling at his boys.  I never hear that in the winter…but it’s an all summer long thing.

Must be spring.


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Winter wonderland

Hopefully this is the last big snow of the season.  So with that in mind Katie and I went exploring this afternoon.  The trees and bushes, covered in wet yet fluffy snow, were beautiful.

We wandered around a small park in a nearby town.

Katie found her agility skills very useful today.  She got to “walk it” across dogwalks…

and “jump” across small creeks…

and  “climb it” up big hills.

We spent about an hour exploring…

…and when we got home the sun came out and is melting the snow!  YEA!!!


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How to color a black and white weekend

It’s snowing here.  Big wet white flakes.  The sun is hidden and any grass that had emerged is covered again.  And they say we’ll get 3 more inches tonight.  My world has threatened to turned black and white.

But thankfully I didn’t have to sit here and watch the snow pile up.  No I did not.  Today the community band I play with participated in a concert band festival.  Twelve community bands from across the region were invited to play for judges comments and incidentally for the other musicians hanging out waiting for their own group to go on.

Each band played a program lasting approximately 45 minutes.  They started at 9 in the morning and the music kept on until after 6 p.m.  We were the fourth band up and played  Sousa, Gershwin, Hazo and other composers.  Everything went magically, as often happens on concert day.  I had to concentrate on concentrating, afraid to get lost in the music for fear of forgetting to come in when I was supposed to.  But it was tempting to just go with the moment.  And it was so much fun.

It’s always interesting to play in a hall you’ve never been in before.  The sounds are so different in every place you play and sometimes cues you’re used to hearing don’t sound the same once you’re on a new stage.  On the other hand the clarinet player next to me and I both jumped at one point when the gong in the percussion section was hit.  Apparently it had been in the music all along, but we’d never heard it before!

We’d been warned by our conductor that the adjudicator assigned to us was tough; a retired band teacher who still teaches private lessons.   And we haven’t yet heard the comments she put on tape during the actual performance, but she walked into the room where we assembled after our concert to hear her verdict and told us that she had been enjoying the music so much she had forgotten to write any comments down!  She did mention that we could do more with dynamics; many community band have issues with dynamics.  Like she says, every band can play loud and fast…the good ones can play with feeling, soft, loud, fast and slow.  We did quite a bit of that…but we could do more.  Needless to say we were thrilled by her comments on the things we did well.

After we were finished I slipped back into the auditorium to sit with my husband and listen to two more bands.  One was a band I played with more than 15 years ago.  Many of the players I’d known were still there…some with gray hair or no hair…but recognizable even from the audience.  I enjoyed listening to them very much, especially when the conductor who had been there so many years ago came out to conduct one of the pieces.  It was as if the band perked up and played especially well for him.  And I was glad I had the opportunity to see him.

And the second band was the one my Aunt plays with down near Ann Arbor.  I’ve never heard them play. Often their concerts this past season were weekday nights or nights we had concerts ourselves.  So it was especially fun to listen to her group perform.

I have to thank my husband for going with me.  He sat through four bands..and concert band music can get a little old after several hours of it. Especially if you don’t play an instrument.   But he’s a trooper and I appreciate it.  I made him some cookies tonight as a thanks.

And of course Katie-girl wanted to know what she got for having to stay home alone most of the day.  So I took her out to play in the snow this evening.

Somehow as she sits drooling on our feet as we enjoy the oatmeal cherry raisin cookies I don’t think that was exactly what she was hoping for.

Silly girl.