Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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Purple confusion

Katie had to go outside earlier than usual, at 5:30 a.m., this warm November morning.  After we got back inside I went back to bed, turning off the alarm clock, sure I’d be awake at 6  like always.  Instead I went on a wild purple adventure.

I was in a small town, perhaps intermingled with a college campus.  Lots of brick buildings and large trees. I went into a gift shop that was attached to a larger building.  For some reason I was attracted by a purple plaid adult size suit.  The fabric was somewhere between flannel and wool, and it was all over, head to toe, purple and gold plaid.  The top had a hood that almost covered my face.  I know that because I decided to try it on.  In the back of the store.

I took off my pants and shirt and slipped awkwardly into the purple plaid outfit.  I noticed one of the sales women keeping an eye on me and I was sure she thought I intended to shoplift the outfit.  As if I could actually walk out covered entirely in plaid and not get noticed!  I struggled to get it all on, pulled the hood over my head and decided I needed it.

So, still fully clothed in plaid I went up to the counter to pay for it.  I told the astonished saleswomen that I could use it to be the Cookie Monster, but in retrospect I’d have made a better Barney.  Anyway, I start searching in my purse for my wallet.  The purse is filled with the normal debris that accumulates in a purse.  Receipts and crumpled gum wrappers.  There was a large coin purse shaped like a elephant, pretty beat up, with someone else’s name on it.  That confused me.  How had I acquired it?  There were lots of gift cards and bonus cards from assorted stores.  Worn out tissues.  I began to pull all this out onto the store counter, searching for my wallet and my credit cards.  Even the sales lady stopped what she was doing to help me look.  No luck.  Finally I told her I’d go change out of the purple outfit, go home, find my wallet and come back.  The growing line of people waiting behind me breathed a collective sigh of relief.

I decided to change back into my own clothes in a bathroom rather than the back of the store, so I went in search of one.  Out in the hall of the larger building I found a bathroom, but it was decrepit and partially outside.  The stall door wouldn’t stay shut; you had to hold it shut while you used the toilet.  So I tried to do that, wearing my purple outfit, holding the door shut I realized the side wall of the stall was missing and I was outside near a high school.  And that I had forgotten my jeans and sweatshirt to change back into anyway.

So I left the quasi-bathroom and headed back to the store, but it wasn’t where I thought it was and now I was lost.  Evening was approaching.  I went into another store and the husband of the saleswoman there said he’d take me over to my original store.  I felt ridiculous as I was still dressed head to toe in purple plaid.  He starts walking really fast and I can’t keep up and then I trip on some bumpy ground and fall behind a school bus.  When I crawl out from behind the bus I can’t see the man anymore, so I’m back to wandering around.

I pass some people planting purple and green plants in beds around light poles.  And it’s darker and I’m wandering near a big empty high school when I finally see the man who was supposed to take me back to the store.  He’s sitting on a bench, one ankle on the other knee, arms spread across the top of the bench.  I walk toward him, finally relieved that there is someone who will help me.

As I reach him I ask myself if this is perhaps the beginning of dementia.  That I’m feeling the way someone on the verge of full blown Alzheimers might feel.  The knowing what you’re doing that turns into complete chaos.  The not understanding why or how or where.   Right from the beginning of this adventure, somewhere in the back of my mind I didn’t understand why I’d want a purple suit, or why I’d change in the back of the store, or why I couldn’t find my wallet, or why there were other people’s stuff in my purse.  Nothing made sense even before the wandering around and not recognizing anything or even where I’d been just moments before.

I woke up glad I don’t own any purple plaid.  And glad I have no aspirations to be a purple plaid cookie monster.  Or even worse, Barney.


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Photo assignment: Autumn

Scott, over at  Views Infinitum, has given out another photography assignment; to share some of the autumn photos we’ve all inevitably taken these past couple of months.  Before we give way to winter it’s an opportunity to remember those last days of precious warmth.

I could fill this blog post with photos of colored trees and blue skies, but I decided to go back to my Lake Huron shots and look for more subtle signs of autumn.  You’ll see golden grass and empty beaches, the low angle of the sun and places already waiting for spring.  Here are some photos you haven’t seen from our October weekend adventure along the shores of Lake Huron; a place enjoyed by many in the hot days of summer but overlooked as the air chills.

We enjoyed morning light along the shore…

…and an adventure walking on a trail through the wetlands…

…which brought us out to the lake…and got our shoes soaking wet.

We walked along the shore or Lake Huron at the state park in Tawas, enjoying the views of the lighthouse in the crisp fall air…

…wandered past the picnic area waiting patiently for those first families of spring to arrive…

…and the beach, wistful for the shouts of children running for the water.

We walked through many wildlife refuges, where the grass has turned golden but still glowed in the sun.

There is so much more to show you, wide open wetlands, the views from the bluffs of the AuSable river…but I’ll end by giving you an image taken at home.  Just to remind myself that I don’t have to travel to see beautiful sights.  Sometimes they’re right outside my own window.


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Going to work

I had to smile this week at Sara’s Wordless Wednesday (scroll down to Wednesday) photo of her desk at work.  Mine used to look like that – back in the days of paper.

Come along and I’ll take you to my desk!  First the commute; about 40 minutes depending on the traffic.

And the sun.

We have what the newscasters laughingly call the “Detroit Squint” most mornings.  At different times during the year we’re driving almost directly into the rising sun.

Certainly slows the commute.

After a colorful drive to work I arrive at my cubicle.  Not so colorful.  And this truly is the way it looks.  I didn’t clean up for the photo or anything!  We do all our work paperlessly.  Is that a word?

And this is how the building looks when I leave in the evening.

Sometimes I get pretty sunsets on my commute home, but not last night.

Today, Saturday morning, the birch trees are glowing with morning light and I’m glad I’m not sitting in my beige work world.

Enjoy your weekend!


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Last day of Indian Summer?

This afternoon, on what might be the last absolutely beautiful day of fall, Katie and I went out to play Frisbee in the back yard.  What a glorious day!  The forsythia is blooming!  Does this mean it won’t bloom next spring?

The burning bush has a few leaves left, shining in the last light of fall.

Katie had a blast.  She brought the Frisbee back to me most of the time.

Though sometimes she took it off with her for a personal adventure that didn’t include me.

After so much running around it was time to take a quick break.

Then it was back to the fun.  Come ON Mom, throw it!

OK Katie-girl….here you go!


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Sometimes you should look a gift horse in the mouth

Some of you might be wondering what’s happened to the Senate Bill mandating Electronic On Board Recorders (EOBRs) for commercial trucks.  You remember — the bill I was so excited about when it was introduced.  (Click on the word excited to read my Sept 29 blog.)

Back then I told you that finally someone in the Senate was listening and was brave enough to buck the American Trucking Association; a group dead set against any installation of the monitoring device.  I was excited by the fact that a bill was being introduced and finally we might have a chance to make a big change that would save lives.

But even during my initial euphoria there hovered in the back of my mind the feeling that it was odd the two Senators bringing this to the floor were not people our group had worked with over the years, not Senators known to be active safety advocates.  Still, it was something of a gift, this bill  – and I was elated.   It didn’t matter, I thought, who introduces the bill if it resulted in EOBRs on trucks.

Turns out it DOES matter who introduces the bill.  Turns out you have to look at all things political carefully.  Turns out I was naive.

Because guess what?  Tucked into the middle of this bill was material that would make it illegal to use any information accumulated by the EOBR in any civil case a family might file against a truck company.   That would be like saying you can’t use the information gathered by the black boxes on airplanes to sue an airline after a crash, that you wouldn’t be able to use information from the black boxes on cars to sue an insurance carrier after someone hits you.  Turns out that the American Trucking Association knows that EOBRs are inevitable and they are trying to get their version of a bill passed before anyone notices that they’re not actually becoming more safety conscious.  That in fact they’re trying to cover themselves while looking like they’re concerned for the safety of people on the roads.

I am so frustrated.  And angry and sad and mystified.  Powerful organizations like the ATA are just so hard to fight when you’re just a little nonprofit.  They’ve got money and they aren’t afraid to use it.  But they didn’t count on this little nonprofit actually having someone (not me!) read the proposed bill.

And so the fight is on.  Though right now it’s more like a waiting game then a fight.  And every day we wait another 14 or so people die in crashes with commercial trucks.  How many more does it take before we really get noticed?

I’ll keep you posted.


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Seeing the light

Katie has been in rare form the last couple of weeks.  She’s up early, wanting to go out, wanting something to eat, wanting to play, wanting, wanting, wanting.  Sometimes I go to work early just to get away from her and her needs.

One early morning this week we had already been out in the cold and dark multiple times and as far as I was concerned she was finished with everything she needed to do out there.  I wasn’t planning on taking her out again before I left for work.

But once she starts whining she doesn’t stop.  Ever.  No amount of my admonishing works.  She might go lay down for a minute or two.  Ten minutes tops.  But like the Terminator …she’ll be back.

So I bundled up again and we headed out to wander around looking for the perfect spot for whatever it was that she deemed so important.

And look what I saw.

It might look like the tops of the trees still have their yellow leaves, but they don’t.  The glow at the top is the sun rising and just catching the tips of the trees.  We ran back to the house for the camera.

The sun continued to rise and the glow continued to grow.  It was astounding, and Katie and I ventured further into the back yard to enjoy it.  Quickly the entire trees were engulfed in brilliant warm morning light.

And I would have missed it all if I hadn’t had my girl telling me it was time to go back out into the cold on that early morning.

She even posed for me.

That’s my girl.


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Haiti braces for Tomas

How much can one small country endure?  Especially one that started out with nothing, only to see what little they had lost in the rubble of an earthquake in January.  Now in November a hurricane is bearing down on the tent cities that so many have lived in for far too long.  Conditions are already too difficult there for those of us here in our snug homes to fully understand.

This morning as the hurricane bears down on some of the world’s most vulnerable, keep them in your hearts.  And after, if the worst happens, perhaps find a few dollars to send to the Red Cross or other agency that you support in Haiti’s behalf.