Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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Giving Tuesday is here!

It’s always hard to ask for money. But when your passion for the cause overrides your reticence you just have to squish down those scary thoughts and do it.

So I am.

There are lots and lots of families out there going through unimaginable pain. But I can imagine it, because my family is one of them. When dad was killed December 23rd, 2004 our lives shattered. We’ve patched things back together over the 20 years but you can still see, and always will see, the mended cracks.

Other families out there need support and advice and shoring up. Also hugs. The hugs we can give for free but the rest takes money. So I’m asking you to donate today, Giving Tuesday. Please give with heart, give with love.

Here’s the link to donate directly to the Truck Safety Coalition: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/iwbwhq/

We promise to forward your love on to shattered families. Help us help them to begin to heal.

Thank you.


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Giving Tuesday is coming to a blogger near you.

Giving Tuesday, an annual event that started on Facebook (I think) and has since morphed into all sorts of activities, is coming up. Always the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, this year it will be December 2.

My dad as a young man.

For the past several years I’ve used the date to raise funds for the Truck Safety Coalition, and I will this year too. I like to give you all a heads up before so that you can do your research and think about where you’d like to donate your hard earned money.

As always I remind everyone that large truck crashes aren’t partisan. The semi that slams into the back of your car doesn’t care whether you’re Republican or Democrat. It doesn’t care what race or gender or religion you are. It’s irrelevant whether you have family waiting for you at home or only your pet dog.

Still way before me.

Dad lived alone back in 2004 when he put his suitcase in the trunk of his car and headed for the Atlanta airport in the predawn hours of December 23rd. He didn’t know he’d never make it to the airport. I picture him pulling up the driveway for that last time, blissfully unaware of what waited for him.

More than 5,000 people die in crashes involving large trucks every year. More than 100,000 are injured. It’s not all the trucking industry’s fault, some of it is caused by those of us in cars doing stupid things. Both sides of that issue warrent additional vigilance on the road.

For the record, dad was slowed in traffic that was being guided around a previous wreck when he was hit from behind by a semi driven by a sleepy driver who didn’t see all the traffic stopped ahead of him.

The Truck Safety Coalition was there for my family 20 years ago and it’s still there for families that have been turned upside down by a crash. TSC provides support and advice and the opportunity to use their grief to make change for the better.

The obligitory church photo.

So I’m asking you to consider donating to the Truck Safety Coalition for Giving Tuesday this year. I’ll post again with a link soon. You don’t have to wait until December 5th to donate, but you can if you want to.

I’ll be sure to remind you.

Dad, ever on my mind and especially as we approach his crash anniversary, tells me to tell you thanks for the years of support you’ve given me and my family. And thanks for considering making a donation this year too.

It helps us to realize we are not alone.


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Dad and I thank you

Many of you know the story about my dad and the semi-truck. I wish I could say I wrote a kids’ book about a daddy driving a big truck.

Dad and his baby sister.

But that’s not the way it went.

In reality my dad was driving to the Atlanta airport December 23, 2004, a plane ticket in his shirt pocket, heading north to spend Christmas with his family.

He loved water his entire life.

Around 6 a.m. with an hour to go, he was hit from behind by a semi-truck who’s driver didn’t notice all the traffic slowing in front of him.

A college man.

Dad never had a chance.

The semi driver said he fell asleep after driving all night, trying to get a load of electronics to Atlanta for Christmas sales. His dispatcher had enticed him to make a deadline in Atlanta in order to have another truck ready for him to drive to Florida, getting him home to his family for Christmas.

A married man.

My dad didn’t get to spend Christmas with his family. The driver didn’t get to spend Christmas with his family either, he spent it in jail. My siblings and I spent Christmas in shock, sitting in dad’s house, looking at the Christmas tree he’d put up before he left.

Trying to make sense of it all.

A new father.

And in the following months we found the Truck Safety Coalition, made up of CRASH, (Citizens for Reliable and Safe Highways), and PATT (Parents Against Tired Truckers). It’s a group of people who have had similar experiences with large commercial trucks.

A dad and his girls.

Sons, daughters, grandkids, parents, friends, spouses, nobody is immune, we all travel our roads alongside big trucks. TSC supports survivors and victims’ families. It educates policy makers on common sense changes that need to be made to make us all, truck drivers included, safer.

A family man.

But we can’t do any of it without financial support. We’re a 501c3 nonprofit. We struggle, as do many groups, to fund the activities that give families hope. Giving Tuesday is one of our biggest fundraising days.

This year it’s on December 3rd.

Everybody growing up.

And, this year, we’re trying something a bit different. In addition to using the Facebook platform, we’re asking folks to donate directly to us. Here’s the link to my personal fundraising page: https://secure.qgiv.com/event/trucksafetycoalitionpeertopeer/account/1899034/. Give it a click and see dad’s story and my progress toward my goal.

You don’t have to wait until December 3rd to donate. We’re starting our campaign right now. In fact you could be my very first donor!

Always interested, always busy.

I said it on Facebook the other evening; I fully believe that Dad says thank you to everyone that has supported me and my siblings all these twenty years. We needed you and you were there. And along the way I’ve met even more supportive people. You’ve all helped me help TSC to continue the work that helped us in our worst moments.

Retired.

The circle of support continues. Round and round, as you helped us, we are supporting the new families who keep on coming. Truck crashes continue, families are irreversibly changed, we provide support, and in time, they grow and get stronger and provide support for the next family.

More than 5,000 people die in commercial truck crashes each year. More than 100,000 people are injured. There are so many families.

We are working hard to help as many families as we can, and it all begins with your support. So thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, from the bottom of my dad’s heart.

At my wedding.


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Roadside wonderings

When I’m out and about I often see roadside memorials. And if I have time, and if it’s safe, I pull over to read the name and date. When I get home I attempt to look them up, see what happened, learn more about the person.

Because every memorial is someone who was real and who is missed and who deserves a bit of recognition and attention.

This is a very large memorial near my home.

I know for a fact that the families that erect these memorials want people to notice that something terrible happened right there. And they want their person or people to not be forgotten. Even if you never knew them.

There are no names that I could find, no date either.

I’ve done this for years, trying to find out more about the people who died on our roads, ever since my own dad was killed on a stretch of highway between the Alabama/Georgia state line and the Atlanta airport.

She was almost 30, walking on an overpass with her children when she was struck and killed.

We didn’t build a memorial, but we did hastily plant some daffodil bulbs next to the busy freeway where he died. I’ve only been past the spot at the right time of year once, and the traffic was so bad I couldn’t look around for more than an instant, but I think I saw a flash of yellow years after the crash. It could have been the daffodils or it could have been a Wendy’s chili cup.

But I choose to believe it was dad saying hello and making me smile.


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Heart crushing numbers

April 1st NHTSA released the numbers of truck related deaths and injuries for 2022. I wish it was an April Fools joke.

That year 5,936 people, some of them the truck drivers themselves, died in large truck related crashes. Over 160,000 people were injured.

I’ve been working with the Truck Safety Coalition for almost twenty years. And except for a few years when the death and injury numbers dipped a bit, the horrific losses have climbed each year.

No one but us and a few other small safety groups seem to notice these unacceptable numbers. I’m heartbroken. My heart breaks every year when the numbers are released. I don’t understand why everyone isn’t shocked and horrified. Why it isn’t national news.

The Truck Safety Coalition’s statement about the NHTSA report is on our webpage, but I’ll link to it here. And if I could ask you to please check out a few of the stories of people who have been stolen from us, maybe you’ll realize, as I do, that these aren’t numbers we’re talking about. These are people. And families. They are someone’s child, mother, brother, husband, wife. My dad.

After you’ve composed yourself and dried your eyes, please donate to help us make our voices louder. You’ll see the donate button on all our website pages.

Sixteen people will die today in a large truck crash. Take a minute and look around at your family, friends, coworkers, neighbors.

Which sixteen will die today?


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Remembering

Nineteen years ago today my family suffered an unimaginable loss when our dad was killed by a sleepy semi driver while driving to the airport.

It seems like yesterday. It seems like a hundred years ago.

Today we remember and grieve, like we have every day, every year, since December 23, 2004.


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Progress

Today is Giving Tuesday. Go to Facebook and donate to your favorite charity.

Trust me, the staff and volunteers will appreciate it! Every dollar counts!

In my own fundraising campaign we’re making progress. I’m over $800 of my $1500 goal. I’m so thankful for every dollar and every person who donates. I’m also appreciative of every one of you that sends me virtual (and real) hugs and warm thoughts and comforting messages.

Never think you don’t make a difference. You all do.


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Dad and his little sister Becky

I have a few images from dad’s childhood. He was six years older than his little sister, my Aunt Becky.

My dad and his baby sister.

She loved her big brother so much, when he was killed by a tired semitruck driver December 23, 2004, she was heartbroken. They are together in heaven now, I imagine it was a pretty special reunion.

Hanging out in Ann Arbor MI.

This coming Tuesday is Giving Tuesday. I hope you will consider giving to the nonprofit I’ll be highlighting, CRASH (Citizens for Reliable and Safe Highways) which is a partner with P.A.T.T (Parents Against Tired Truckers) to form the Truck Safety Coalition.

One of my favorite images of the two of them.

We provide support to families of those lost in semi crashes, and to those who have survived crashes too. Every year there are more heartbroken families.

He loved being on the water.

And we work hard at changing regulations, rules and laws in order to protect everyone on the road. But the crash statistics are going up, more than 5,000 dead, almost 150,000 injured in 2021, the last year for which we have numbers.

And he loved all kinds of boats.

So we can’t give up, can’t even slow down now. Please consider helping us on our mission to provide comfort, to make a place for families to put their grief, and to make our roads safer for everyone, truck drivers included.

Wading in Charlevoix Bay.

Thank you for the years of support you’ve already given me.