When I’m out and about I often see roadside memorials. And if I have time, and if it’s safe, I pull over to read the name and date. When I get home I attempt to look them up, see what happened, learn more about the person.
Because every memorial is someone who was real and who is missed and who deserves a bit of recognition and attention.
I know for a fact that the families that erect these memorials want people to notice that something terrible happened right there. And they want their person or people to not be forgotten. Even if you never knew them.
I’ve done this for years, trying to find out more about the people who died on our roads, ever since my own dad was killed on a stretch of highway between the Alabama/Georgia state line and the Atlanta airport.
We didn’t build a memorial, but we did hastily plant some daffodil bulbs next to the busy freeway where he died. I’ve only been past the spot at the right time of year once, and the traffic was so bad I couldn’t look around for more than an instant, but I think I saw a flash of yellow years after the crash. It could have been the daffodils or it could have been a Wendy’s chili cup.
But I choose to believe it was dad saying hello and making me smile.
Change Is Hard 
April 8, 2024 at 11:57 am
Hi, Dawn….
Yes. I have stopped to look at these memorials from time to time, every time thinking of that “kinship” we have of losing our loved ones like this.
There’s one with one boot, that’s all– one boot, on top of a cross, that has drawn my attention for years. If I drove by someday and it’s not there, I think I’d construct something makeshift just to not let it disappear entirely.
We did make a memorial at the site Where Chuck and Teri were killed, adding in three additional ones for the others who were killed in the same crash. But it’s gone, as far as I know. I wouldn’t have the wherewithal to keep it up even if I lived in the state where it happened. I admire those who do.
Having lost three loved ones to crashes where the perpetrators were criminally responsible, I am constantly tuned into these roadside sacred sites. What a shame truck crash deaths have not ceased to increase every blasted year since we became part of the “kinship” in 2010.
I’m really thankful you and all those at the TSC continue to put yourselves out there to try to stem this. I wish I could. It’s just too hard to do for me emotionally.
Take care. And keep writing all your wonderful pieces.
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April 9, 2024 at 11:06 am
Hi Michelle!
Yes, we don’t do anything to keep the daffodils going…it’s too dangerous on the road there. When we planted them there were, I think, 4 of us, maybe 5, we leaped out of the car on the ditch side, a couple had shovels, the rest of us tossed bulbs into the holes and then we jumped back in the car. It was scary to be on the side of such a busy freeway.
I remember the stories of the people I’ve looked up and even when the memorials are gone I still think of those people when I go by their place. I imagine there are people that remember Chuck and the others when they go by the place where the crash happened.
I hope it brings you some solace that there are people like us that remember Chuck and Teri. And we think of you and your sister often too.
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April 8, 2024 at 12:06 pm
I notice these, too. There is one on the overpass not far from my house where a cyclist was hit by a truck. It’s always sad to see these.
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April 9, 2024 at 11:08 am
It’s very sad to see. But it helps the families that others are thinking of them when they pass by.
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April 9, 2024 at 11:11 am
It is. And I can understand it.
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April 8, 2024 at 1:49 pm
Sad. But I am sure it was your dad saying hello.
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April 9, 2024 at 11:08 am
I’m sure it was too.
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April 8, 2024 at 9:01 pm
I do something similar when I go to a park where they have a memorial tree or park bench with a very personal message on it. I take a photo and look up the obituary notice. I was at Lake Erie Metropark last December and I can’t say I ever noticed memorial trees there, but there was a small tree along Cove Point and there was no memorial stone, but someone had placed a beautiful bouquet of fresh roses with a handwritten florist card and message of loving and missing them. I see a white “ghost bike” propped up against a utility pole across from Elizabeth Park. I’ve been tempted to take a photo, but it’s a busy intersection. I may just have to walk over there from Elizabeth Park.
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April 9, 2024 at 11:09 am
I stop to read all the benches too, though only on a couple have I done any research on the person…usually if it’s someone really young, because I wonder what happened. I saw a plaque on a bench at Kensington that was happy…it was something to the effect of “Here in 2014 Mark and Kelly became engaged.” That one made me smile.
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April 9, 2024 at 9:35 pm
I’ve seen some benches like that too – some are so heartfelt. That’s a nice memento of the proposal.
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April 9, 2024 at 3:17 pm
I’ve noticed a lot of these, too. Saying a prayer when I pass by seems to be the most I can do (as you said, so many of these areas are such traffic-magnets that it’s not safe to slow down much). I’m glad you found some comfort in that spot of yellow — I didn’t realize that’s where your dad was killed. I thought it was farther north, for some reason.
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April 12, 2024 at 10:34 pm
Yes, dad lived in Alabama, northwest of Auburn. He was driving from there to the Atlanta airport to spend Christmas with my sister in NJ. Mom had died unexpectedly in July of that year and no one wanted him to be alone for that first Christmas. Turns out we, all four of us, spent Christmas at his house without either of them.
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April 13, 2024 at 2:10 pm
I can’t click “Like,” not on such sad info. My heart goes out to you again, Dawn. Must have been awful, losing both of your parents so quickly, but I’m comforted in knowing they’re back together in Heaven.
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April 17, 2024 at 1:43 am
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss in this way, Dawn. I hope you get to visit the daffodils again some day. xx
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April 17, 2024 at 12:00 pm
The daffodil season in AL is soooo much earlier than it is here in Michigan I usually don’t realize it’s been and gone down there!
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