Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Happy Birthday


I wasn’t going to post about your birthday this year. After all it’s a private thing between you and our family; the whole world doesn’t need to know, or even care, that you’d be 89 today.

Eighty-nine. That seems like a very large number, and I’m having trouble imagining you there. Sometimes when I’m out I see little old ladies with their permed hair, stooped over, walking with a cane and I wonder if you would look like that.

But I don’t think so. You never did like your hair permed.

I think maybe you’d rest more, sit in your chair and read more, maybe cook less, maybe let us do more when we visited. Maybe. I think you’d probably not be traveling as much as you once did, but you’d still enjoy reading about new places, you’d still enjoy a good concert, a good piece of art. You’d still enjoy people’s visits, conversations, hugs.

I wish I could bake you a cake, plant candles on the top, watch you blow them out and laugh. Or watch you eat fresh corn on the cob with butter running down your chin as you grinned with the sheer joy of our summer tradition.

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You’d think with all the technical advances I’d be able to text you today, send birthday wishes, cyber hugs. Little smiley faces all in a row.

But I can’t, so this will have to do. Happy Birthday Mom. Tonight, if the skies are clear, I’ll be watching for meteorites and thinking about you just like every year. Send a few my way, OK?

Love, from all your kids, who miss you every single day.

Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

20 thoughts on “Happy Birthday

  1. I overheard your conversation with your mother – poignant and loving. I felt the hugs.


  2. sending (((hugs))))) I know how hard this is. Simply beautiful.


  3. Beautiful – the image of her water skiing is the most compelling. 🙂


    • She used to water-ski once a year, she said she did it to prove she still could. She didn’t grow up liking water, but she married my dad who was a water baby. She didn’t like getting water in her eyes, and without her glasses she couldn’t see anything at all, so water-skiing was pretty much outside her comfort zone. Then one year she said she realized she didn’t have to prove anything and that was that.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. what a beautiful slideshow- I really enjoyed seeing it Dawn. Beautiful words too.


  5. i really enjoyed seeing the photos from the big and little events of your life with your mother. she had a wonderful connection with animals and her doggie looked particularly content and loved.

    did you have a travel trailer when you were growing up? it looked like a beauty, which for some reason i see as red and white….

    were you the youngest of the sisters?

    water skiing is difficult for a teenager, but to be silver haired with a one-handed grip so she could wave—marvelous courage and youthful vigor.

    your loving relationship shows through all time and i will look for some shooting stars this month too, and remember my dear daddy too. bess


    • Hi Bess,

      The dog was Charlie, one of my sister’s dogs, and mom was visiting. Charlie loved the attention. When I was born, and until I was about 3 we lived in a mobile home trailer. I don’t know what color it was because all the photos from back then are in black and white. Curiously, we DID have a pickup truck camper when we were a young family, and that one WAS red and white! 🙂 Yes, she did have quite a bit of courage and was always, right up to the day she died youthful. At least in my eyes.

      I will think of your daddy too, when I watch for shooting stars in the night sky.


  6. Happy birthday, Mother of Dawn (sounds like a goddess!)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Simply beautiful! Thanks for sharing with us, Dawn. Hugs to you!


  8. Aw, now I’ve got to grab a Kleenex! Beautifully written, Dawn. Your missing her comes through very clearly, and I’m sure she’s looking down with pride on her kids!


    • Yes we all miss her and dad very much. I think she’d be pleased how we all turned out, but then, she got to see that, we were all adults with jobs and homes when she suddenly left us. Still…it’s been 13 years and I suppose we’ve changed, I know our situations have certainly changed and we’re working on different things than we were back then. I think she’d be pleased how we’re trying to take care of each other.

      Liked by 1 person

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