Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Guilty pleasure

25 Comments

The big picture.


Denise commented that she enjoyed my last post, the one about smiling with the birds. She thought it was better than fixating on the latest virus news, and she suggested that I sort through my pictures from the Southwest and see what else I could find that might elicit more smiles.

Well.

When we got home from Arizona at the end of February I was so sick that all I wanted to do was crawl into bed, and sorting more pictures wasn’t even on my radar. And then days went by and I felt better but the trip west seemed to be a distant memory.

Standing strong against the winds of time.

And I figured you’d all moved on anyway.

But she has a point. I hadn’t even looked through pictures from our last days of the trip when we stood in awe at the Grand Canyon.

Who knows what’s way off in the distance.

So I thought I’d share a few of those images while I talk just a tiny bit about how I’m processing the latest news and self isolation.

Because I’m feeling a bit guilty about enjoying the time to myself.

Trying to see what’s in the future.

Sure I’m sad that band has been cancelled, our next concert in jeopardy, but we got to perform just a couple weeks ago,and I’m grateful for that.

There’s still beautiful color in the world.

And I’m sorry that the Ann Arbor Symphony won’t be doing their concert next weekend, I’d been looking forward to the program and seeing my aunt again after several weeks where bad weather and illness kept us apart.

Lots of angles to life these days.

But…having an empty calendar in front of me feels peaceful. Nothing more to do than find ways to stretch the food I have in the house as far as possible. Time to read. To watch the birds at my feeders.

To take Katie on walks around the yard.

Peaceful.

I know that I’m lucky – I’m not dealing with children home from school or trying to do my job from an unfamiliar computer system set up in the bedroom. I can use this time to learn how to entertain myself the old fashioned way, at home, with my husband and my dog.

Everyone will have to decide for themselves what is right.

So, if you can, my advice is to use this time to internalize, to settle, to work the stiffness out of your shoulders and necks.

To slow down.

We are all on this trail together but separate. There’s no way to go but forward, doing the best we can to not make things worse.

Hopefully the path isn’t all downhill.

We can use this time to watch the news incessantly, or we can use this time to grow as people and perhaps figure out just what is important.

Looking for light amid the shadows.

Me? I’m going to watch the news for a few minutes each morning, just to make sure something hasn’t blown up. Then I’m turning the TV to the music stations. Right now I’m listening to show tunes.

The sun will shine again.

It works for me. I hope you find whatever works for you as well.

Look for the colors. And stay safe.

Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

25 thoughts on “Guilty pleasure

  1. Thank you.

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  2. Such a great post, Dawn–photos and words. The more I see things in my town shutting down, the more I can see a light at the end. Not soon, mind you, but we will get there. It’s just me and my husband (and the cats, of course). The constant need to get out has turned the other way and we are taking pride in what we are doing right here at home. You and Katie girl take care.

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    • I feel a need to get outside. I don’t act on it all the time, but Katie-girl makes me go out quite frequently, just not for anything exciting. Did go out this morning at 5:30 and saw the sunrise from a hill in one of our parks. She didn’t go as she was sleeping. Silly girl.

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  3. What a beautiful post!! Thank you for your encouraging words, your BEAUTIFUL photos and your kind heart!! ❤️ We are all in this together and we will all come out stronger! Lovingly, Diana 🥰❤️

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  4. Yes, yes, yes! All you said. Slow down, relax, enjoy what is. Also your photos are lovely and inspiring in their own way. Time passes, but beauty remains.

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  5. Show tunes are great! So was this post. Thank you!

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  6. What a beautiful perspective! Thank you for sharing!

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  7. Yes, Thank you Dawn. I love the blue/grey hazy (fog) pictures (#2 &#6) 🙂

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  8. Amen to this, Dawn! I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon, so your photos are a delightful treat. And I think perhaps we introverts handle isolation better than the extroverts. I’m reading, writing, coloring, keeping up with friends virtually, practicing my flute, and so much more. I can see where you might feel a twinge of guilt over enjoying this time — I’m right there with you, especially when I remember WHY we’re doing it and how many folks are sick and dying. That’s when I really miss my Dallas — he gave the BEST hugs!!

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    • Glad you got to see some of it, a very small part of it, but it was pretty when we were there. I imagine it’s always pretty. I bet Dallas did give great hugs…Katie isn’t much of a snuggler. Though when I dropped her off at the vet this morning for her teeth cleaning she did try to hang on, and tucked her head into my shoulder. Made me feel so sad. I cried all the way home.

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  9. These are beautiful pictures Dawn! I’m so happy you went back through your images to give all of us a look into the Grand Canyon. I love the layers of color in the “Peaceful” image. We needed this…

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    • Yes, I agree, we do need more of this sort of thing. Glad you liked them! I was pretty sick when we were there, I could barely manage to haul myself from the car to the overlooks and back to the car, but the actual taking of pictures perked me up. It was fun to look at them now, a few weeks after.

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  10. Thanks for this. I didn’t recall that you were sick on your trip–oh, that is so hard! I’ve had that happen on a couple of vacations (San Diego–a lonnnng drive from here–and Hawaii!), and one really feels the energy drop when there’s so much that you wanted to see and do. Glad that you’re feeling better.

    I spend a lot of time from home, including working from home as much as I can, on a regular basis, but even so, suddenly I feel trapped! JIt’s not bad–just from my regular shopping before the hoarding hit (I was lucky, went out the day before it got really bad), I think that I have plenty of everything to last me a while–I don’t eat a lot on my own, f’rinstance, and I always have some canned beans & soups. But being told that I mustn’t eat out makes me want so badly to eat out!

    BUT, in some ways, it takes so many decisions out of my hands, including (sigh) how quickly I can retire, so in those ways, it is more relaxing.

    Take care, thanks for the photos and the thoughts.

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    • Yes, this is definitely going to put a crimp on retirements…I feel really worried about that for so many people. And I think when we suddenly can’t have something, that’s when we want it most! Hang in there, and stay safe!

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  11. Hi, Dawn,

    I am so glad that you decided to share some of your Grand Canyon photos!! The Grand Canyon is one of my favorite places – so many beautiful, awe-inspiring views. Thank you so much for sharing!! Your photos are simply stunning!! Thank you for the smiles! 😊

    It is so true that we all are in this together. I hope everyone will make peace with the facts and try to remain positive. Along with being kind to others, we have to remember to be kind to ourselves, too. Not being retired, I am very grateful to be able to work from home. A few months ago I started meditating to help calm and quiet my mind. There is a free meditation app called Insight Timer that I found helpful. I love your choice of music! My favorite Broadway show is “Into the Woods” with Bernadette Peters in the cast. 😊

    I join you in keeping calm and carrying on…. 😊

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    • Thank you for the suggestion, Denise! Tonight I’m having something of a panic attack, having been to the store and found it worse than Monday. And the dog got her teeth cleaned and had 6 extracted and now is in pain and not settling down for the night. So it’s a little stressful here, but hopefully tomorrow will settle back down again.

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  12. You took some very beautiful peaceful photos! Thank you for sharing them! I have been putting up a flower photo everyday on facebook since we self isolated. Take care! Pat Katie for me!

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    • Katie says thank you for the pet. She got her teeth cleaned yesterday and lost 6 of them! She’s feeling not so good today but better than she felt last night.

      Nice of you to post pretty pictures each day. We all need something to fixate on besides the news.

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  13. Thank you for this happy post during these uncertain days. I too have been trying to concentrate on the positive and staying away from the news.

    Your photos are stunning and so peaceful! Thank you for sharing. May you & Katie, and the rest of your family stay healthy & safe. Remember to “Stay Calm & Carry On”.

    xoxo

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