Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

An update on me.

75 Comments

Katie here.

I thought I’d jump on my mama’s blog real quick while she’s not paying attention and bring you up to speed on the most important Princess in your her life – me!

Mama says I shouldn’t cry wolf all the time cause people aren’t gonna believe me later on, but seriously, this past week has been a roller coaster of emotions and feelings and stomach aches for all of us here.

Me taking mama for a walk this week.

The stomach aches were mostly mine, but luckily I have meds for that!

You all know I have kidney disease, and I’m stage 4. That’s bad enough, but in the past couple weeks I’ve decided I’m not going to eat my Royal Canin food, the stuff I’ve been eating happily for months. Mama and daddy had a routine down and we all knew exactly what I was going to eat and which pills I was getting at any particular time.

We were a well oiled machine, I tell you.

One of my happy walks.

And then one morning I turned my nose up at the food in my bowl and walked away. Mama was perplexed. And it got worse. Every day I randomly decided what I would eat. And what I would not. In the beginning they coaxed me into continuing to eat my prescription food, but now days even the smell of it makes me feel nauseous.

I’ve had lots of good days.

So mom is cooking for me again. Daddy took me to the vet on Wednesday and she said I could eat whatever I wanted! I thought it was the best day in my life! Chicken! Green beans! Boiled carrots! Brown rice! Pasta! Whatever I wanted mama prepared for me!

Wednesday night it was like she was my personal chef!

I’d like to order a filet with some peanut butter on the side please.

But now I’m turning my nose up at chicken, though I still like the ground turkey. Mama made pasta for me last night and I thought that was pretty good, though she only gave me one macaroni noodle. She said she was testing to see if I’d eat it before she made a whole bunch. You see I had loved the brown rice when she first cooked it on Thursday but now I think it’s disgusting.

I’m kinda fickle.

Another walk yesterday, I was starting to feel not so good.

Yesterday morning while mama was making her oatmeal (she gets to cook for herself too!) I was looking at her intently. I wanted my piece of apple, like I get whenever she makes oatmeal. Just a tiny bit of apple, no skin. It’s my morning treat, and I’m all about routines, so I was waiting expectedly for it. She casually handed it to me, figuring I’d snap it out of her fingers like normal but I just sniffed it, then took it from her and spit it out on the floor and walked away.

Mama knew right then that something more than usual was not right.

By late afternoon I was restless and just wanted to be outside in my cool grass, so we were sitting out there a lot, but I kept moving around. I looked very sad. Daddy came out with us and I got up to move away and they were discussing giving me an extra pain pill when I started to shake.

I just want to lay here in the grass, mama.

They looked at each other and scooped me up and the next thing I know I’m in the car and I don’t feel good and mama and daddy are stressing.

So we got to the emergency vet and they don’t seem that busy and mama does the paperwork and a tech comes out to look at my gums (pale pink) and they say they will get to me. But they never did. I finally fell asleep on their nice cool floor.

I wasn’t shaking anymore and had spent most of the two hours we waited visiting with other people who all, by the way, said I was adorable and beautiful and cute.

Which of course is true.

We finally left the emergency vet place and went home where I refused to take a pain pill and everyone got frustrated and then mama said we should just go to bed and see what tomorrow would bring.

So we did.

This morning I was very lethargic, sleeping on my bed out in the living room, instead of in the bedroom with her. Mama was worried cause I was sleeping with my head hanging off the bed.

Looks like I had too much to drink last night!

She petted me and I woke up and we went to get weighed (I still weigh the same) and then she made my pills which I took no problem, and my yogurt, with my special powder in it, which I loved, and my special breakfast, of ground turkey and a little pasta and one green bean, which I ate without arguing. Though I left 4 pasta noodles, cause really? Pasta??

This morning’s walk.

And then we went for a tiny walk, just down to the corner, and I did my business and then we went out back and filled the birdfeeders like we do every morning, and now I’m settled in for a nap, waiting for breakfast #2.

Watching mama, cause she has grape jelly and I want some!

So, as you can see things are normal, at least for us, but I think you should know that I’m slowing down and not feeling as happy all the time as I used to be, and mama and daddy and I are discussing the possibility of me going on my next big adventure. Mama says I’ll have to do that one without her, though she says she and daddy will be there to see me off.

I don’t know if I want to do an adventure without her, she and I have always shared everything. But she says I’m a strong girl and that I’ll love it across that bridge once I get there cause lots of my friends are already there. She says I won’t be sad or lonely there at all.

Earlier this week when I was a happy girl.

We’ll see. I’m pretty sure I’m not going over that bridge today. I told her that too….”not today, mama, not today.” Mama smiles but her eyes are leaking and she gave me an extra hug when we were outside this morning.

Not today, mama.

I don’t really like to be hugged, but I let her this time.

Seemed the least I could do.

Love to you all,

Katie-girl

Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

75 thoughts on “An update on me.

  1. Oh, Katie girl! Love you so much even though I’ve never met you. My eyes are leaking, too. Sigh.

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  2. Ah, poor Katie, may you have more of those happy days before you go off on that next big adventure…

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  3. Oh, Katie–love to you too, sweet girl. Thank you so much for the update.

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  4. This absolute made me cry. Keeping you all in my prayers.

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  5. Oh Katie, you just rest and give your mom and dad some wonderful days. Everyone loves you, just remember that.

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  6. NAK here – I will look furward to meeting you – WHEN you get those wings – my mom says it what our moms mamas humans promise us from the day they bring us home –

    Mine used the khriteria of eating = tail wagging – and EYES – those fakhtors help –

    Please enjoy Your Mitten State days and nights until you’ve changee zip khodes –
    and know you’ll be taking more than a piece your mama and daddy’s heart when they let you find your peace –

    Until then, keep her busy –

    It’s what ROYALTHY does – keeps their staff okhkhupied!

    I will be glad to SNOW you around –

    And NAL will as well –

    H&K,
    NAK and NAL

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    • AND Willow wanted US to add some khomments about how she was furtunate enough to meet your mama – and knows why you don’t want to leave her…..

      H&K&W,
      Willow

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      • Thank you NAK, I will look for you when I get over the bridge. And I’m glad your mom has Willow to keep her company. I’m glad my mom got to meet your mom and Willow too. I wish I could have been with her, but that trip was too long for me.

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  7. My eyes are leaking too. Keltic and Beckett will show you a good time when you’re ready to go on your next adventure.

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    • Oh Miss Helen, I so much wanted to meet you that summer when you were in Michigan, and had hoped that I’d get to meet you and the boys this summer. But I don’t think I’ll be able to wait that long, so I’ll send my mom along. She’ll need a dog fix by then I’m sure.

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  8. Live in the moment and enjoy each one that comes…..we all love you Katie girl. Hugs to your mamma

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    • Thank you Miss Bree. I know your boys will show me around when I get there. I look forward to seeing them again, they were such lovely hosts when I visited your house. Do you think they will share they pup cups with me again? They were so nice to me, not to eat mine when I was so slow. Hugs to you too, I know you’re still missing Reilly and Denny. But I’m glad you have the newbies with you to ease the pain.

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  9. Thank you for keeping us up to date, Katie. We all love you here in Arizona, how could we not?! You will meet lots of new friends on that next adventure. Say hello to our four furry adventurers for us. They look like you, but only one of them is a Princess too. The others are merely Princes. We will all see you there eventually, but not too soon. Everyone has their own timing for that day, just like you will. Until then, cherish each day with your Mamma and Daddy and of course, eat whatever you want!

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    • Thank you Miss Michelle, So far I’m not liking any of the stuff mama is making. I’ve refused turkey and chicken and cheese and cottage cheese, and boiled eggs and noodles with butter and yogurt so far today. I asked her what else she had and she rolled her eyes. I think the menu should be open ended, don’t you?

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  10. Well Katie girl, do you remember Joy and Shiloh, those big, goofy, Golden Retrievers? You met them about 5 years ago at a campsite on a very rainy day. They understood that you were a Princess right away, and you all got along.
    So anyway, that was 2017, and the very next year they both went across that bridge your mom talks about. They know a Princess when they see one, so they will recognize you when you decide to go across, and they will be happy to show you around ( though I realize they may have to wait in line!)
    And no, your mom won’t be over there for now, but I’ve gotta tell you, Joy and Shiloh find ways to visit with me ( their mom), all the time! They find such interesting/funny/beautiful/unique ways to say hello, and I know you will be able to do that with your mom too. You’ll be surprising her, and it might make her cry but it will make her smile at the same time…humans are weird that way.
    But until then little Princess, soak up the sun and your moms love , that she is pouring on you. ( and we, your fans, all love you too). As the saying goes, ‘cross that bridge when you come to it’.
    Love and hugs💖☀️🦴🍗💖

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    • Why yes I DO remember Joy and Shiloh! They were so wonderful to me, hosting my visit to your campsite! I loved meeting them. I’m sorry they had to go on so soon, but I will definitely look for them when I get there. It’s always good to have a couple of really big friends just in case, right? I will figure out some ways to let mama know I’m OK and waiting for her at the bridge. I know she’s going to need to know I’m safe. That’s been her job all 15.5 years of my life, to keep me safe, so she’s sorta scared to send me off on my own.

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  11. He Katie girl – you are wonderful and glad you are hanging in there

    And dawn – this post gave me wet eyes
    💛

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  12. Oh, Princess. My eyes are leaking, too. You and my Bella cat seem to be on the same track. Maybe the two of you will meet on that next grand adventure. I don’t know if you like cats, but Bella has a fondness for dogs although I should warn you that you’ll probably have to be patient and let her come to you. Cats are high and mighty that way, wanting things on their own terms. Love to you and your mama.

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    • Well, Miss Robin, I think that on the other side of the bridge we might all get along together, cats and dogs, you know? Cause life is perfect over there, so they tell me, and I think perfect would include us all being happy together. So if Your Bella gets there after me I’ll take care of her and introduce her around. I’m sure it won’t take much time for me to get to know everyone, so I’ll make sure she’s included in our group!

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  13. ❤️🐾🙏❤️🙏🐾❤️

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  14. I cannot click “like”, because my eyes are full and my heart is sad. It is so hard when our furry kids get old and slow and don’t feel well. Hugs.

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  15. My eyes are leaking and my chest is tight. Sending you lots of love, Katie-girl. But a little extra hug to your mama because it’s always harder on those watching and waiting. You’ll love Zeke when you get to meet him. I bet he will be most welcoming.
    Beautifully written, Dawn.

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  16. My heart 💔Sweet beautiful Katie. 🙏🏼

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  17. I hope Katie has many more days to go on walks and be picky about her food. Around here they either eat or one is picky that day and not eating I can no longer second guess them I think a lot has to do with the heat here.

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    • Yes, I don’t like the heat either. Summer is my least favorite season! I bet across the bridge it’s nice and cool. So far I am still being picky about my food, eating hardly anything at all. Mama is sad.

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  18. Oh Katie Girl… my eyes are leaking as well. Enjoy your days with Mom and Dad and make every single moment wonderful. We all love you!

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  19. Oh, my sweet, beautiful, Princess Katie-girl. Every day is a gift, but you already know that. These days are extra special❤

    Sending you all my love and hugs to your mom and dad.

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  20. Katie, I’m all choked up. Literally. I was eating supper while reading your blog post and when I read about a solo adventure, my salad went down the wrong pipe, my nose plugged up and I’ll be darned if my vision got all cloudy. I hate to hear that you’re feeling really puny. I have a new rescue that has Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome. Her belly hurts all the time, she has no appetite; when I think I’ve found the recipe she likes, she goes on a hunger strike for 2 days. It’s deeply frustrating, I can imagine your mama is about to pull her hair out.
    Please give extra hugs to your mom and dad, being responsible for planning a solo adventure requires compassion and commitment, it’s the last gift given, but it’s going to kill your mama to pack for you.
    We love you, Katie

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  21. Hi, beautiful Katie. I am so glad to see your post. You have been on my mind a lot; I was wondering how you were doing. I am so sorry to hear that you have not been feeling up to snuff. I know your mama and daddy are doing all they can to keep you comfortable and to find dinner combinations that will whet your appetite. My eyes are leaking as I am writing this… Despite never meeting you or your mama, I feel like we are old friends. The magic of your mama’s words, photos, and of course your posts, too, have allowed us to follow along on your adventures. May you have more happy days ahead; let mama and daddy hug you – it helps heal their broken hearts a tiny bit. Princess Katie, you are SO loved! When the time comes for you next big adventure, my first Westie, Chloe, will be there as part of your welcoming committee. I asked her to watch for you – she will be there with a wagging tail, happy bark, and plenty of kisses. I am sending a loving hug and a kiss for the top of your head sweet Katie. 💕🐾

    Dawn, you all are in my prayers. Sending you and your husband loving hugs, too. 💕

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  22. Katie, you are so wonderful. Everything you do is perfect. You are gorgeous. And … you are SO loved by your mama and daddy. Of course, who wouldn’t love you? But they love you more than anyone else in this whole world loves you. Kind of like how much you love each of them. No one could love them more than you do. And that’s forever.

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    • Thank you Miss Ann. I DO still look beautiful, don’t I! Once a princess, always a princess. Yes I will love mama and daddy forever, just like they will always love me. They told me to find my sister Bonnie who I never met, she was a sheltie-girl like me, but mama always told me she was the ‘good’ girl. I’m the beautiful girl, you know. Anyway…I agree, love is forever.

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  23. Katie-girl, you’ve gone and made my eyes leak, too. Plus, my throat and chest are tight, and I’m mere centimeters away from a full-on bawl. As you’ll recall, my soul-dog Dallas crossed that Bridge two years ago now, and I miss him every single day. Have a little compassion for your mama and daddy — you fill their world, and they’re going to have empty hearts when you’re gone. We humans know we’ll probably outlive our fur-kids, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I’m sorry you haven’t felt too good, honey. Dallas, too, had kidney disease, and there were plenty of days he wouldn’t touch his food or treats. That’s worrisome for us parents. You hang in there, sweetie — you’ve brightened a LOT of lives with your loving smile. Hugs to you, Dawn, and Katie’s daddy, too — I’ll keep y’all in my prayers.

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    • Oh I’m so sorry about your Dallas, Miss Debbie. I remember that, it doesn’t seem like 2 years ago already! I will look for him when I get across the bridge. I think we shelties should form a group up there and work on sending signs to our peoples that we are just fine and waiting for them while we’re playing and eating ice cream and stuff.

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  24. this made me cry and brought back some extremely painful memories. Savor every day with this precious girl. Katie, you are loved and you know it…..(((hugs))) to all

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  25. Sending love to the whole family. It’s a very hard time. Give each as many pats, strokes and hugs as you can.

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  26. Aw, having gone through the same thing less than a year ago with Copper, I know how you all feel. It’s the bravest and hardest thing ever to find a way to provide a compassionate farewell to our furry friends. Our dogs never want to let us down. We don’t let them down by helping them find peace away from the pain. Sending you love and hugs, you’ll know when the time is right. Katie is counting on you to do so.

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  27. Oh this makes my heart hurt so bad and I can’t hold back the tears. Why oh why does life have to be like this. My Marlee is doing the same thing with her food and the lethargy. I know we are on borrowed time and my heart just breaks.

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    • I’m so very sorry, Miss Angie. It certainly is hard. My mama cries all the tie now, I can’t seem to do anything to make her stop. She kisses me a lot too, and you know I’m not a hugger. But I’m letting her kiss me as much as she needs to. I hope Marlee is around a good long time yet!

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  28. Katie, you make me cry, sweetheart! But over the bridge Sarah and Peasy and many others will be waiting for you. What more can I say? You have made the world a brighter place for a lot of people, most of all your mom and dad —

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    • Thank you Miss Pamela. I’m over the bridge now and wanted you to know it’s a wonderful place, and your beloveds are safe and sound with all of us here. I’m hoping you and mama and daddy get some comfort from knowing we’re all just fine.

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  29. Hugs and love to everyone, Katie … to you and your mama and daddy.

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  30. Thinking about you a lot, Katie, and how very loved you were. ❤

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  31. thinking of you this morning, remember the walks, and camping, and just being.. peace.

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  32. That was a tough read, I cried for your Katie and for our Norman. The last visit to the vet is the one that’s the hardest/.

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    • We had a vet come to the house, and we set her free in her backyard, under a tree with a little breeze and big white puffy clouds floating by, just perfect for her to catch a ride on. It was peaceful and I felt good about it at the time but now, oh my now….I just want her back.

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