Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Better

by 36 Comments

Company is coming and I’m trying to do the last minute dusting and picking up and organizing food and checking the bathrooms and Penny is weaving between my feet, grabbing at the dust cloth, barking hysterically at the plastic wrap drawer.

Everything is harder with her.

I am frustrated and decided to take her out for a walk, maybe she needs to go to the bathroom, and she’s jumping and playing with sticks and tugging on her leash and nipping at my feet. She doesn’t go to the bathroom.

Everything is harder with her.

Walking back into the house I am hit out of the blue with the memory of the last time I walked Katie back into the house.

I begin to cry.

Penny stops tugging on her leash and stands on her hind legs, front paws on my waist and cocks her head. I pick her up and she licks the tears from my face then snuggles in for a hug.

Everything is better with her.

Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

36 thoughts on “Better”

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  1. Dale
    July 30, 2023 at 9:35 am

    Awww… I felt this all the way through, Dawn.

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  2. lois
    July 30, 2023 at 9:49 am

    Dawn, this made me cry. Penny knows…

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  3. Laurie Graves
    July 30, 2023 at 9:55 am

    Puppies are a lot of work. But what good buddies they are!

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  4. Cat and Dog Chat With Caren
    July 30, 2023 at 10:29 am

    Ohhhhh how I can TOTALLY relate to this! Just beautiful and oh so true! (((hugs)))

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  5. Debbie
    July 30, 2023 at 10:41 am

    Boy, can I relate to this, Dawn! Yes, puppies are a LOT of work. I’m still giggling over the image of Penny weaving between your feet, barking at the cleaning cloths and such. That sounds just like Monk! He was ready to fight me for the vacuum cleaner yesterday, ha! And yes, those memories of soul-dogs long gone can hit unexpectedly … and hard. I’ll bet it was Katy who prompted Penny to wash away your tears!

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  7. Carol
    July 30, 2023 at 12:59 pm

    Just when your frustration reaches the breaking point, the furry kids will melt your heart. Every. Single. Time.

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  8. Helen
    July 30, 2023 at 1:37 pm

    I think without realizing it, you were missing Katie.
    “There are others, that much is true,
    But they be they, and they aren’t you.”
    Penny will ease that hurt and she will have her own place in your heart.

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  9. Mother Hen
    July 30, 2023 at 2:15 pm

    We have two cats now instead of the four we originally had when we moved to Oregon. Our street-smart girl, who was playful with cat toys, who climbed kitchen countertops and walked across the stove, ugh. Who when she jumped a fence she came swaggering back. Such a no it all. We did kind of favor her in a way. She is no longer with us, but her sister, calico Lizzy tends to be not like her sister. But I confess I have had to humble myself and ask for her forgiveness for being impatient with her. I am learning to appreciate who she is, it’s about time. Yes, our hearts hurt. I am learning. So sweet that Penny understands. Amazing..

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  10. Susan Holmes
    July 30, 2023 at 2:16 pm

    I think Katie sent Penny to you. She’s always there, in your heart. {{hugs}}

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  11. Denise
    July 30, 2023 at 7:37 pm

    Oh, Dawn….I understand only too well. Katie was so special and your loving bond was so strong. How sweet that Penny was comforting you and kissing away your tears. Katie is always with you and is helping guide Penny. Sending you love and hugs. 💕

    Just after Christmas I lost Gracie suddenly. She had been healthy at her checkup the week before, and fine that morning, then passing from undiagnosed congestive heart failure that evening. Losing my pup left me devastated, lost and so very sad. The grief is so deep. I have been talking to several Westie breeders since January. I was on a waitlist for a female from a Fall litter with one breeder. I asked my girls, Gracie and her older sister, to help guide me to from Rainbow Bridge. I asked them what they thought about adding a little brother to our family. Well, the moon, stars, my girls approval, and everything else lined up. I was very blessed to add a male puppy to my little family. Henri came home in the wee hours of July 7. Henri will not take the place of Gracie, but my love for him is allowing my heart to start to heal. My little man is very loving and smart. Send me an email if you would like to see some pictures. Oh….my girls said that they would love to boss around a little brother from above!!! 🤣

    Enjoy your company!

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  12. DailyMusings
    July 30, 2023 at 8:52 pm

    Look how Penny knew what you needed, and I so understand those moments of unexpected grief.. I am glad she is there for you ❤

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  14. sara
    July 31, 2023 at 5:52 am

    Oh Dawn, this is heartfelt and beautifully written, like a poem. There’s much love in your words.

    Life can be hard and frustrating with dogs at times, but that love they give us makes it all worth it.

    My next task for the day is to write in my grateful journal, and boy, I won’t even need to stop and think about it after reading this. ❤

    Enjoy your company.

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    • dawnkinster
      July 31, 2023 at 11:36 am

      How is Chewy doing, Sara, without Oreo? And you?

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      • sara
        July 31, 2023 at 3:10 pm

        Chewy is doing well. He was a bit sad and out of sorts for about 4-6 weeks after losing Oreo, but he seems to have turned a corner recently.

        I’m doing ok as well. I still look for Oreo in his bed every once in a while, and I still reach down to grab his non existent bowl for breakfast each morning. I was so used to grabbing two of everything. Habits really are hard to break. I miss him, but Chewy latches onto sadness, so I try and focus on the present moment as much as possible.

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  15. Shelley@QuaintRevival.com
    July 31, 2023 at 7:14 am

    Aw, Dawn, our forever pet memories in our hearts pop up when we least expect it. Your stream of thoughts about the moment is beautiful. That’s so sweet that Penny knew how to help you feel better. 🤗🥰

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  16. Far Side
    July 31, 2023 at 10:57 am

    Every dog is different and seem to give us what we need at any given time. I understand the joys of a puppy and the freedom and relaxation of having an older dog.

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    • dawnkinster
      July 31, 2023 at 11:38 am

      Yes, puppies are a lot of work, which you forget once you’re years beyond puppyhood. But we’ve been glad to have the puppy experience one last time, and she’s such a good girl. She’s going to be an amazing adult…but for now we’ll treasure all the puppy-isms she’s exhibiting.

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