Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.


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Family time

I hope all of you in the States had an opportunity to spend some of Thanksgiving day with family or friends.  We traveled down to the farm where my Mom grew up  and spent some time with family over a wonderful meal.

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Lots of talking, lots of laughing, lots of eating.

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Perfect.

While there we took my brother, who hasn’t been back on the farm in many years, on a quick tour of the barns where we all used to play.

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It was very cold.  Especially for my brother’s girlfriend who is from El Salvador.

We noticed little things while exploring the barns, like what my uncle used to call a patented barn door handle…

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…and a clamp in my Grandfather’s shop…

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…with a view of the old farmhouse through the shop window.

While we were wandering among the barns huge flocks of sand hill cranes flew screeching overhead.  There were at least 3 groups of them, each as large or larger than this group:

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This is not a great shot, I took it blindly up into the sky without being able to see what I caught, then cropped the heck out of it so that you could see something of what we saw.  It was so cool.

Barns, birds, family…

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…you can’t get much better than that.

And to top it off there was pie.   Happy sigh.

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Thanksgiving – the real deal

katybethjthanksgiving2

What are your strongest and best memories of Thanksgiving?  Did your family gather, members driving across country, did they sit around big tables telling stories and laughing?  Did the food get eaten, leftovers put away, then pulled back out again later in the day?  Did your family wrap up what was left, send it home in plastic containers to be warmed up again later in the weekend?

Mine did.

Maybe you remember spending the afternoon watching football games with your family, cheering on favorites, groaning when plays didn’t go your way, munching on turkey sandwiches or stealing another piece of pie.  Maybe your favorite memories are of distant cousins, elderly aunts, grandparents, people you didn’t see all the time.  Maybe your family called far away relatives later in the afternoon for long conversations, catching up with months of news.

Mine did – and I bet a lot of your memories are similar.  The point is that many memories of a best Thanksgiving are filled with family.

Now consider what it would be like if you had to work on Thanksgiving — and not because you were vital to the safety of your community, not because you were needed to fight fire or save lives in a hospital — but because people wanted to shop.  They wanted to shop for stuff that would not change the world, would not further humanity, would not even make others particularly happy.  Just ordinary stuff.

Imagine that you have to work because retailers are looking for a bigger profit.  Profit over family, not a unique concept, but imagine you don’t have a choice, that it’s not even your profit; you’re just a pawn on their balance sheets.

Think about it.  The only way retailers can exploit their workers, force them to work on a day that should be all about family, is if we all rush out to patronize their stores on Thanksgiving day.  We don’t have to do that.  What in the world do we need that is so important that we have to buy it on Thanksgiving?

Really?

Nothing.

So here’s a thought.  Join the movement, check out the facebook page.  And how about we don’t go out to shop on Thanksgiving.  How about we don’t let ourselves be manipulated for the retailers good.  How about we don’t let ourselves get caught up in the commercialism of the holiday.  How about instead we look around and see the family members that we love so much, how about we slow down and realize what is important.  How about we sit down to a family dinner.  How about we spend the day in conversation with each other.  How about we value family.

And how about we let everyone do that, even retail workers for one day.  One day filled with family, conversations, laughter, stories, football and pie.

Now that would be the real deal.


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Do you believe in messages from beyond?

Dad and Mom...before they were parents.

Before they were parents.

I know everybody out there has loved ones that have moved on to what I think of as their next adventure.    But I’m wondering.  Do you look for signs that they’re around?  That they’re alright?  I do.

In the beginning I consciously looked all the time.  Now it’s more of an automatic thing.  Mostly it’s birds that seem to give me signs from my folks, but I’ve also begun to consider the bright orange semi trucks I see out on the road as greetings from my Dad.

I know that probably sounds weird.  After all it was a bright orange semi that killed him.  And for a lot of years seeing one of those trucks was a knife to my heart.  They are everywhere and there is no escape from them, so  some time ago I decided I couldn’t allow myself to be knifed anymore.  I started saying ‘hi’ to Dad each time I saw one and  I still do that today.  It doesn’t make it all better, but somehow it’s not as painful to see those trucks on the road anymore.

And of course I’ve told you about the stars in the sky that I’ve assigned to each of them; Orion’s belt for Mom, the Big Dipper for Dad.  At this time of the year they are both in the morning sky, high above my head when I take the dog out early.  I look for them, sometimes even have a little conversation with them, while Katie’s checking out the yard.

I’ve seen a few episodes of the TV show The Long Island Medium and wonder if people are so desperate to know their loved ones are OK that they feed the medium clues.  I wonder if I do that in a way too, wonder if I look for signs so intently at the moments when I need them close that I manufacture comforting signs.  I think the truth is that I have to believe Mom and Dad are somewhere just around the corner.  Because to think otherwise would make living without them impossibly difficult.

What about you?  Do you believe that your loved ones are still around in some form?  Somewhere more than just in your own heart?  Do you think they send messages?  Or do you think it’s all a bunch of bunk?

I wonder.

Dad and Mom 1990 Dawn's wedding


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Frying pan musings

I woke this morning to remnants of a dream floating almost out of reach.  My mom was in the dream, along with me and someone else I can’t quite place.  We were talking about modern  kitchen tools.  Specifically the discussion centered on how the latest electric frying pan had a searing function to keep meat juicy. Trust me I have no idea how that would work in a frying pan or why my brain came up with this concept.

In my dream I recalled my mom’s electric frying pan, the one she took with us when we camped, the old pan without a nonstick surface that had to be scrubbed after each use.  I asked Mom if it had any special features, and whether I could read the manual.  “A manual” she exclaimed, “a manual?  You’re kidding right?  I’ve had that old frying pan for over twenty years.  If there ever was a manual I have no idea where it is now.”

As I began to wake from the dream I thought about my own electric frying pan, newer, with a surface that keeps the worst burned food from sticking.  And I realize that in twenty years I won’t know whether there had ever been a manual either; in fact I probably won’t even know where the frying pan is.  I woke doing the math and was startled.  In twenty years I will be older than my mother ever was.  Huh.  That’s an odd concept – to be older than my mom.   It took me a few minutes to digest.

Two weekends ago I went to a wedding that happened to be on my mom’s birthday.  I was sitting next to a college roommate at the reception, a woman I’ve known for over thirty years.  She mentioned that it was her mom’s birthday.  I was incredulous.  All these years we never realized our mothers shared a birthday.

Country wedding.

Country wedding.

So I’ve been missing my mom and I guess this dream was a way for us to have a visit of sorts, though I would choose something more interesting than an electric frying pan to discuss if I ever had the chance to talk with her.  I think.  On the other hand that frying pan held good memories.

This morning I lay in bed for a few extra seconds, remembering.  Then I hugged the dog and began to get ready for another day.  Tonight maybe I’ll make dinner in my electric frying pan.

And talk to my mom about the old days.

First time motherhood.

First time motherhood.


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Going for a bike ride

Abundant orange butterfly weed along the trail.

Abundant orange butterfly weed along the trail.

My sister and I went for a bike ride today on a rails to trails bike trail.  It was a pretty warm out there but we had a great time.

I don’t think we biked more than 10 miles all told, but along the way we saw lakes and gardens and a couple of cats.

Some of it was shady and some of it was downhill.  The best parts were shady and downhill!

Shady spot.

Shady spot.

We bought some lemonade from a stand run by a bunch of little girls.  It tasted wonderful.  And we found a huge patch of black raspberries to enjoy.  Those sure were yummy.

Yummy!

Yummy!

We stopped in a little town and bought a couple of cookies from the bakery and a sandwich from a local restaurant.  We ate them both at a picnic table while watching the town’s librarian do story hour for little kids in the park.

I guess, thinking back on it we did more eating than riding.   But that’s what makes a good ride!  We only have one more day of vacation left.   I don’t know how we’ll spend it but it will be together!

On the trail together.

On the trail together.


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Activity after

Pretty

Pretty

Sunday my sister and aunt and I picked cherries at a local orchard.  This is the place my family has picked cherries ever since we were little kids.  So in a way it was nostalgic to be there…

Picking

Picking

…but in a way not so much as they have planted new trees since we were kids and this weekend we were picking at the new location.  The picking was sparse but we got enough cherries to freeze a few and make a pie.

Future pies

Future pies

Then Sunday evening husband, sister and I went to the county fair…

Crazy

Crazy

…where we walked around analyzing the rides, trying to decide if there was one I could go on without getting sick.

Crazy

Crazy

We wandered around, standing in front of each ride…

Fun times

Fun times

….and concluded that perhaps the ferris wheel was the only safe bet.

Fun

Fun

So we bought tickets and boarded the ride.  Which was when I suddenly realized I was really sore from my Saturday morning run.  I had a really really hard time stepping up into the gondola…

On the ferris wheel

On the ferris wheel

…and an even harder time getting out after our ride!  So even though I was feeling pretty good since that run and a bit surprised that I hadn’t felt any soreness I apparently had forgotten that I am usually most sore two days after a run, which means….that this morning, Monday, I could barely get out of bed.  Yea.  Now I remember what it’s like to be a runner.

It’s darn wonderful.

Sisters at the fair

Sisters at the fair


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Biking through the park and mooing with ice cream.

Last Tuesday sister and I met our Aunt at one of my favorite parks. (Click on photos to see more detail.)  We brought our bikes and before lunch we rode the 8 mile trail around the big lake.  Did I mention there are hills here?

We just came up this hill!

We just came up this hill!

It was a beautiful day, sunny with a little breeze to keep the flies at bay.

Riding through the woods.

Riding through the woods.

We also hiked a little bit in the nature area; we saw some sandhill cranes, swans, ducks, and blue herons with young ones still in the nest.

We took lots of pictures.

Looking for the cranes.

We had a lot of fun goofing off, enjoying the sunshine, the park, and each other…

We took lots of pictures.

We took lots of pictures.

…and we found out it’s not always easy to keep up with an 80 year old!

The girls

The girls

Friday night sister and husband and I went to the local dairy for ice cream.  It’s the best ice cream around.  I had udder butter (peanut butter and chocolate) and my sister had moocachino (coffee flavored).

Ice cream maker.

Ice cream maker.

We got to pet a really cute calf.

Big brown eyes.

Big brown eyes.

And stand beside really big cows.

BIG cows.

BIG cows.

I’m convinced you can’t have exceptional ice cream without the cow scent to accompany it.  Darn that was good.

Evening sun.

Evening sun.

All in all a very good week.

Water lily at the park.

Water lily at the park.


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Farming my memories

When we were growing up we lived less than an hour away from my Mother’s parents.  I remember many trips down to the farm where she grew up, the four of us packed into the back of a station wagon, Mom bringing along something to add to the family dinner.

Mom's family home.

Mom’s family home.

We were always excited to run around the farm’s barns, play with the barn cats, pick the black raspberries behind Grandpa’s workshop, watch the piglets, ride the tractor with our Uncle.  When we got bigger we each got to spend a week at the farm, staying overnight in Grandma’s guest room, sneaking her crumb cookies, spending hours with the cats or reading on the porch swing.

Lots of dreaming happened here.

Lots of dreaming happened here.

Sometimes we were even useful, helping to fill the hayloft with bales of hay, or feeding the hogs along with my Uncle.  Mostly I’m sure we were just underfoot; city kids who didn’t know much about farming who slowed the work down.  But my uncle just kept grinning, cracking jokes, letting us drive the tractor, climb fences, scratch the back of a mama pig.

Barns on the farm.

Barns on the farm.

We were always happy to get to the farm and always sad to leave.  I had the same series of feelings as I wandered among the barns this week.  They and the house and Grandpa’s workshop were so full of memories.

In Grandpa's workshop.

In Grandpa’s workshop.

And as my cousin asked me questions about what it was like on the farm all those years ago I began to remember more.  Did I remember back when they had cows on the farm?  Were they beef or milk?  I have faint memories of each cow being in it’s own stall.  I might even remember my Uncle milking the cow and squirting milk to a barn cat.

Barn doors

Barn doors

But I might have seen that in a movie too.  I’m not sure.

I distinctly remember collecting two eggs from under the chickens when I was five.  It was cold out and I had a snowsuit on and mittens.  I was carefully walking back to the house, one egg in each hand when a big dog ran up and jumped on me.  I smashed the eggs in my hands and the dog licked the fresh egg off my mittens.

Grandpa's coat hanging where he left it.

Grandpa’s coat hanging where he left it.

When I was a teenager, staying with my Grandma for a week in the summer I’d practice my clarinet up in the hayloft even though we weren’t supposed to climb up there.  The sound was pretty cool in the big empty barn.  I’m not sure the barn cats totally appreciated the entertainment.

Memories stored behind the glass.

Memories stored behind the glass.

I remember driving down the lane standing in front of my Uncle on the old tractor, thinking I was steering when I probably wasn’t.  I remember having to stand with all my weight on the clutch in order to switch gears.   I remember him deliberately distracting me so I’d look over to the left at the cows in the next farm, then he’d move the steering wheel and we’d drive off the tracks in the lane and he’d tell me I better pay attention!  Then we’d laugh.

Tractor waits.

Tractor waits.

We laughed a lot on that farm.  I think all those peals of laughter are still caught inside the barn walls today.  As I stood there remembering the bull and the cats and the cows and the pigs I could almost hear them again.  It was good to visit the farm.

I like to think the farm was glad to see us too.

Wandering through memories.

Wandering through memories.


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So far behind

I have lots of stories to tell you.  A visit to the family farm (barns!) and a bike ride in the park.  But I’m back to work now and I’m behind again.  Well.  I guess I could blame being behind on work but the reality is I’m just behind in general.

So stay tuned.  I promise barn photos are coming to a blog near you.

Maybe a bicycle photo or two as well.

Maybe.

Sneak peek.

Sneak peek.