Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Tag Archives: musings


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Cherishing our children

Last week’s tragic loss of so many children has caused me to pay more attention to the children around me.  I don’t have kids, and have never paid much attention to them.  But I saw the anguish of the parents, and I have experienced anguish somewhat like their pain.  So I get it.  These families will live with this loss forever.

Driving back and forth to work I pass the small local cemetery.  I’ve noticed a little cherub on one gravestone close to the road and just lately have noticed red flowers there as well.  This past weekend I went to investigate.

Such a short life.

Such a short life.

This is the marker for what must have been twins, Amy Louise and Ann Leola Cranston, born and died on Feb 12, 1939.  Someone has left red silk roses for them.  Think about it.  Someone has been missing these two for seventy-three years.  They lived one day and have been missed and not forgotten for almost three quarters of a century.  Just think how long the children we lost on Friday will be remembered.

Forever.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA


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Santa’s music

Santa reviews the music

Santa reviews the music

With all the events on Friday I didn’t tell you  how our community band’s Christmas concert went.  The concert opened with a few pieces played by a local hand-bell choir.  Their soft gentle melodies soothed our souls in a way few things could.  Though I have to say during “Greensleeves” it was pretty hard not to let the tears slide down my  checks.   As our conductor said at the end of their selections; “I think they’ve taken us to the peaceful place we need to be.”

When it was our turn to play we sat up on that high school stage and looked out into that large audience, filled with families complete with grandparents and little children.   We could still feel our hearts hurting but we were also filled with resolve to salvage something of this magical time of the year.  And so we played.  Yes there were a few bumps, and  some bad moments where we lost our concentration as well as the melody, but there were also joyous moments and fun filled moments and laughs and smiles and rousing applause.

Santa came to visit us and conducted a few of the pieces.  We always enjoy him and are especially honored to have his attention at this busy time of the year.  The children in the audience could hardly wait to visit with him after the concert.

Santa rehearses the band.

Santa rehearses the band.

In the end what felt almost inappropriate as we were driving to the venue turned out to be  just right.  In the midst of overwhelming sadness we created a little bubble of joy and for a couple of hours we were reminded to enjoy our families, to share some holiday spirit, to appreciate our community, and especially to enjoy the moment because, as we all know, the moment is all we have.

Let each of your moments be filled with love, music and warmth.

And we're on!

And we’re on!


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Quiet weekend

We spent the weekend working on projects around the house, taking care of a neighbor’s cat while they were out of town and taking advantage of unseasonably warm weather to put up outdoor Christmas lights.

It was nice.

Early morning peace.

This weekend was the calm before the holiday storm.   Crazy people are camping outside retails stores to be the first shoppers on Black Friday…and some stores are even opening on Thanksgiving night.  As usual I will not be in those lines, nor shopping for things no one needs.  I’ll be spending next weekend with siblings; goofing off, cooking, taking walks up mountains, pictures and naps.

If you’re spending next Friday shopping for stuff….well…enjoy.  To each his own.

And I do appreciate your efforts to turn our economy around.  Yes I do.


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Don’t let them down

At our tiny local cemetery flags fly for our Veterans.

Today is Veteran’s Day here in the US.  It’s a day when we remember those that have and still serve in the armed forces and we express our appreciation for their sacrifices.

A World War I Veteran rests.

It hasn’t been a week since the election.  Maybe your guy won.  Maybe your guy lost.

There’s a story to be told right on this marker.

Regardless, how about we make an effort to work together now, starting on this Veteran’s Day.

The founding family of our small town served.

We can move forward together, compromise, fix stuff, make this a better place to live.   For all of us.  Most of all, let’s not let these Veterans down.  We can make them proud of us if we work together.   Heck, we could be proud of ourselves.  And that counts too.

So many have served over such a long time.

Let’s not squander the gift we’ve been given.  Freedom isn’t something to waste.

Thank you.


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Honey, Bill Clinton is on the phone for you.

Bill Clinton called last night.  His was one of several calls we received that evening asking us to vote one way or another on a proposal or for a candidate.  Yes he was recorded, and no he didn’t ask for my husband by name.  But still, to pick up the phone and hear a former president say “This is Bill Clinton and I’m asking you to vote yes on proposal two”  did seem a little surreal.

Here in Michigan, aside from the race for President, Senator, Representative, university regents, judges, assorted local officials and a tax millage we also have six proposals to vote on.  Five of them are proposals to amend the state constitution.  This is serious business that should take serious consideration.

People are being inundated with information on both sides of every issue.  The advertisements range from sensitive and seemingly thoughtful, playing on our sympathy, to strident and threatening, playing on our fears.  How do we know what to believe?  We can’t even tell from the names of the organizations funding the ads.  One evening I listed to three adds in a row regarding proposal four which revolves around home health care providers.  Two of the ads were asking us to support the proposal.  The ad in the middle asked us not to support it.  Two of the ads said the other ad was an outright lie.  It’s patently obvious someone is lying,  but who?

Each issue is the same; a barrage of ads, phone calls, mailers and editorials.   And though I understand both sides must tell their story, with so much on the ballot the end result of this avalanche of information appears to be confusion and frustration.  I’m tired of it.  I wish we could all have a calm discussion about what each of these proposals would really do, and then brainstorm together about what each of them might do unintentionally, be it good or bad.  Because I don’t think any of these proposals have been thought out thoroughly.  Every piece of legislation and each constitutional amendment has the potential for unintentional consequences.  Each piece of propaganda we receive tells only one side of the story.

Tonight as we’re listening to the latest robo call and sifting through the mailbox’s latest deposit I am counting the days until November 6th.  I’m not sure which way I’ll vote on these proposals, but I don’t want any more help, thank you very much.  I’ll figure it out on my own with the information I already have.

Don’t call again, Mr. President.  It was nice talking to you but we’re all good here.  A little bit of peace and time to think is what we need now.

Please.


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Stars are always there

The days are getting shorter and sometimes I miss the long light filled days of summer.  But these dark early mornings, when Katie and I are outside looking for that perfect spot I’ve noticed the stars are so bright that they seem lower in the sky – almost as if we could touch them.

The past two mornings I’ve seen the Big Dipper in the north, my representation of my Dad, and Orion’s Belt in the south, my representation of my Mom.  It’s not every day that I can see them both at the same time, hanging there in the sky.  So as Katie sniffs, I watch the sky and say hello to each of them.

Yesterday it occurred to me that all summer, even when the sun had brightened the sky before Katie and I ventured out, the stars were there.  They were shining above even when I couldn’t see them.    Just like my Mom and Dad who are also there, even though I can’t see them.

So this morning as I head to DC to work once again on safety issues I know Mom and Dad are right here   even though I can’t see them.  They will always be right here.  And I’ll feel their arms around me as I fight the fight.


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60th wedding aniversary

Cutting the cake in Grandma Braun’s dining room.

Today would be our parents’ 60th wedding anniversary.

Sixty years seems, in theory, like a very long time.  Yet it seems to have sped in the blink of an eye.    They only got 52 years together here on earth, but I know they are celebrating together now.

All of us – 1974

Fifty-two years was good but not enough.  I wish we were all getting together to celebrate down on the lake.  Cake, flowers, cards, none of that matters.  It would just be good to all be together again.

Yes it would.


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Janelle’s

Janelle’s…a little slice of heaven.

A few years ago on the old blog I told you about Janelle’s Family Restaurant in Byron Michigan, about an hour west of us.  It’s owned by a husband and wife whose only child, Janelle, was killed when a semi hit their car while they were stopped in traffic.  Janelle was 15 when she died.  Her parents, a cousin and the family dog survived the crash.

Once things settled down Janelle’s dad who is a chef opened the restaurant and named it after his daughter.  The tag line is “a little slice of heaven.”  Most locals know the restaurant’s story.

Byron is a tiny town, with not much more than a block of retail stores.  Janelle’s is the only restaurant downtown.  I guess I should say was.  Because this morning it burned, along with a couple of other stores.  The whole block is damaged and will likely be torn down.

You can see photos and video here.  It’s hard to watch.  Especially if you know the restaurant’s story.

I don’t know how much one family can take.  I’m sure this feels like they’ve lost Janelle all over again.  My heart breaks for them even as it is glad that no one was injured.  Still many people are out of work in a tiny rural community.  And they’ve all be traumatized.  The good news is that it is a tight community and they will pull together.

And we’ll all be pulling for them too.  When they rebuild, or start again somewhere else we’ll be there.  And if they need help cleaning up the mess or digging through the rubble we’ll be there.  If they need a hug or a handshake or a smile…well…we’ll be there.  All they’ve asked for so far is a  tiny prayer for strength.  That one is easy, we can all provide that support.

Regardless of what happens next they can be certain that none of us will forget Janelle, whether there’s a new restaurant or not.  She touched our lives even though most of us never got to meet her.

So tonight or tomorrow, when you’re looking around and feeling frustrated or sad or stressed remember Janelle and especially  her parents who have lived through more adversity than most people could imagine.  Say that quick prayer for them and a bit of thanks for our own, simpler, lives.

I will.  For sure.


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Behind

I rise from bed before the alarm after a restless night.  I’ve dreamed what could be the dramatic first scene in a book filled with the terror of survival.  The idea for a book if I were an author.  But I don’t like those kinds of books, call them scary and rush through the worst descriptions of fear.

No time for Katie this morning, I’m behind.  A little belly rub as I wake her from sleep.  She trots to the guest room where I have hung today’s work clothes.  She hops on the bed hoping for a little nap.  No time baby, no time.  I am behind.

I’m behind.  Behind, behind, behind pounds in my head, pounds under the conscious efforts getting ready for work.  Behind.  I remember the details of my dream as I’m in the shower.  No time to think about the dream.  No time.  I’m behind.

A quick shower, no time to linger in the warm steamy water.  I’m behind.  Katie curls up on the rug.  She has time.  Drying off I am glad my hair curls whether I mess with it or not.  No time.

Last night’s rehearsal went poorly.  I need to practice.  “You are all adults.” the conductor said.  “We don’t have time to work out the wrong notes here”   There are only four rehearsals  until our concert.  We don’t have time.  I am behind.

Work is overwhelming.  Hundreds of emails, problems.  Short staffed. Cranky people including me.  No time to stretch, relax the shoulders, take a deep breath.  I worked on Sunday and now I am behind.   I think of the problems I left on my desk as I rushed to band last night.  If I just move faster maybe I’ll be less behind.

I strap time on my wrist this morning and think that no one wears a watch anymore.   I can’t stop time.  It is streaking past me, falling into the abyss of the future.   I don’t know if I am the White Rabbit or Alice.

But I know that I’m behind.


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Randomness

It’s been a crazy busy few weeks at work with no end in sight.  There’s been even more stress lately as we’re short staffed.  People are are sick, on vacation and loaned to another department.  Yet the volume continues.  I need to find a way to get through the day without being overwhelmed.  Without getting angry.  Without getting kink in  my neck.

Message to the young lady in the blue Ford tailgating me on my commute to band practice tonight:  There are four lanes of traffic.  We’re all going the same speed.  There’s a car in front of me, one on either side of me.  Where did you want me to go?  When I could I moved one lane to the right, just to get out from in front of you.  You zoomed up behind the next car.  We were all going 75.  Why do you need to go faster?  I had a really bad day at work but just because you’ve got some sort of death wish doesn’t mean I want to go with you.

Rehearsal tonight was grueling.  We’re still sight reading pieces while we figure out what we’ll play for the Halloween concert.  Some pretty strange stuff.  Some really difficult stuff.  Some strange and difficult stuff.  Two hours nonstop.  At 8:50 p.m. the conductor stopped and started talking about the season concert dates.  We figured we were done and began to relax.  Then with only a few minutes left she asked us to read one more piece.  And as we were sighing and pulling the piece out of our folders she said “You may  have noticed that this arrangement is written a half step lower than the original composition.”  My stand mate and I both said sarcastically and at the exact same time – “Yea, we noticed that.” and then we both looked at each other and burst out laughing.  We laughed so hard that we were crying.  We laughed so hard that we missed the first 16 bars of the piece of music.  We giggled through the whole thing.  It wasn’t even that funny.  Guess you had to be there.

After a long day and a bad commute, a exhausting rehearsal, it was good to end the day with laughter.

Yes it was.