Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

A dreamy conversation


Katie visited me in my dreams last night. I can’t remember the entire conversation, but I remember some, and the comfort her visit provided:

“Hey mama, I love you.”

“I know you do, baby-girl.”

Yea, but it seemed like maybe you needed to hear it.”

“Yes, I’ve been missing you something terrible.”

“I’ve noticed, mama. You’ve got to stop thinking about the day I crossed the bridge.”

“I know. But everywhere I look I remember you.”

“I’d think you’d be too busy with the new kid to spend much time missing me.”

“You’d think, right?”

“She seems like an OK kid, mama, but you can’t let her break all the rules, you know?”

“Like I did with you, huh?”

“Well, yea. Like you did with me. You’ve noticed she’s really smart, right?”

“Oh yes, we’ve noticed.”

“Well, she’s going to want to do lots of stuff, and some of it will be stuff you did with me and you can’t be crying all the time, OK? It’s not fair to the kid.”

“You’re right. I can’t be doing that. She deserves more from her mom.”

“She doesn’t call you mama?”

Nope, you’re the only one that calls me that. She calls me mom. But I’ll always be your mama.”

“I know mama. Always.”

“Always and forever, baby girl.”

“OK mama, now get going on the training…I watched that yellow flower photo shoot and frankly she’s got a lot to learn.”

“Awww give her a break, sweetie. She’s only 5 months old. She’ll figure it out once she stops putting everything into her mouth..”

“I know, mama. Well, I just wanted to stop by and tell you I love you. And to remind you to do right by the kid. I’m watching.”

Thanks, Katie-girl, it sure was nice of you to stop by.”

“Oh, I’m always here, mama. Always.”

“I know baby-girl. I know.”

Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

16 thoughts on “A dreamy conversation

  1. No worries there BabyGirl –

    Your mama knows you have her back AND the back of PennyTheKid –

    Your presence is the house is a present to all – and Penny will process your guidance –

    PeeEssWoo: We miss you too Princess Katie The Khollie – please say hi to NAK and NAL for me –


  2. Katie–it is so good to see you here…well, you know what I mean. Penny is a bit of a wild child but I think your mama is keeping up with her, but …whew, she is a handful!
    Oh, Dawn–that side-eye photo of Penny is so cute. She is going to try your patience, isn’t she? Little scamp! 😊 She is changing already–losing that puppy look and starting her big girl look.
    I’m so glad Katie visited you. I miss the little Princess. ❤


  3. Awwww… That is a beautiful visit, Dawn. Hugs.


  4. This is doggie is so adorable. Shedog is standing on her feet..Anita


  5. I love that Katie watches over things… it’s just like Joy does. She looks in on us frequently, and sometimes hangs out. It sounds like Katie does the same. Joy gets a kick out of Star Light. And Shiloh is here, in Blue Sky.
    In a way I have all of them with me, yet… tears fall frequently, and it’s been 5 years this month that Shiloh went on… and came back. And 2 months later, Joy.
    Oh, it’s complicated.
    But I’m just so comforted to feel ALL their presents. 💖
    Anyway, I think Katie shouldn’t be too surprised if years down the line mama’s eyes are still leaking from time to time. 🌹
    I’m so so glad you have Penny…. AND Katie.


  6. Absolutely precious. Dreams are real after all, no? That was so cool.


  7. Hugs ❤❤❤

    It’s so hard.


  8. One sign of a good writer is she gets at what others experience— through telling her own story her way. I have enjoyed all your posts about Katie and now Penny.

    You’re really hit the nail “on top of the head,” as Ricky Ricardo puts it.

    I keep scolding myself for being so weepy every time I go anywhere with Acacia, because “this was Sundew’s favorite place.”

    Your posts help me put words and sense to my own Sundewless grief.

    I’m so glad you have Penny. It’s scary to jump in again. But what else can we do if we love dogs?

    My Acacia is really starting to lose vitality. He’s 12 now, and I know my heart will be ripped out in the near future.

    But I will jump in again too. And my new dog will develop a complex from hearing “This was Acacia’s favorite place” a million times.

    It’s just what we do.


  9. It’s so nice to hear from you, Katie girl. We do miss you a lot too. Glad that you visited your mama and keeps watching over her and the new kid.


  10. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️


  11. OMG I am sitting here COMPLETELY CHOKED UP. COMPLETELY. (((hugs))))


  12. Aww, this just tugged my heart, Dawn. Hugs to you and Penny!


  13. She is growing up so fast. So cute..


  14. Aw, that’s so sweet that you dreamed about Katie. Our furry pals touch our lives so deeply. It’s so hard to let go of how we felt at the end of their lives and how much they impacted our lives while they were alive. I sympathize with how you’re feeling. Penny is quite the character. She’s adorable and trying to win you over with her antics, she’ll never be Katie and shouldn’t be, right? Hugs to you 🤗


  15. Aw, Katie, you’ve got my eyes leaking! YES, your mama misses you (the way I miss Dallas), but we’re so glad you’re hanging around to comfort her in her dreams and to watch over the new kid. Grieving takes time. Unfortunately, so do new kids!! What great photos you’ve gotten of Penny — she’s really starting to look less “puppy-ish,” isn’t she? And oh, yes, I can almost hear her echoing Monkey, “I’m ME, mama — don’t expect me to be somebody else!!”


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