Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Remembering a good man

33 Comments

Max Ziegler died June 7th. He was 87 years old. He was also my cousin, someone I feel like I’ve known all my life. We didn’t hang out a lot together, there was an 18 year gap in our ages, and my first hazy memory of him is at his wedding when he married my cousin Carol. I think I was 8.

Carol and Max had three sons, and periodically as we were all growing up they’d come to our house or we’d go to theirs, mostly for holiday meals. But what I remember most about those days when they visited us is while all the adults were talking around the kitchen table, Max was down at the lake with his three boys fishing for sunfish off the shore.

Spending time with his kids was his all time favorite thing to do.

In fact moments like those are the majority of my memories of Max — thoroughly engaged with his children and grandchildren, laughing with friends and family.

He had the biggest smile.

He and I were both branch managers at banks when I was a young adult. He always had a story to tell about life at the bank, but his stories seemed more fun than my experiences. I know now that it wasn’t that our jobs were that different, it’s just that he saw his job as more joyful than I ever imagined mine could be.

That’s how he viewed the world. Joyfully. And he spread it around wherever he went.

He stayed active as a volunteer until almost the end, at Meals on Wheels and at the Kiwanis thrift shop. There’s a whole community he built around sharing his joy and you could see it in the sons and grandchildren that spoke at his funeral, and in the members of his beloved Kiwanis club who also spoke. You saw the joy that was Max in the almost 200 people that packed the funeral home on a Monday afternoon.

And as I left the service I looked up at the electric blue sky filled with puffy white clouds and I smiled. Because I knew Max was smiling too. I’m sure there was a huge crowd up there joyfully welcoming him home.

As they said at the service, the best way we can honor this incredible man is to live our own lives with joy. And to spread it around in a Max-like fashion. One of his youngest granddaughters told us the world would be a better place if it had more Maxes.

So let’s see if we can make that happen, let’s spread the joy just like Max did for all of his 87 years.

Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

33 thoughts on “Remembering a good man

  1. my deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved Max. thank you for sharing him with me. to echo his granddaughter the world you be a better place if it had more Max’s. this country so needs the Max wanna be’s right now.

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  2. Live our lives with joy and spread it around as Max did. Great message today, Dawn!

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  3. I’m so sorry for your loss, Dawn. Max sounds like he was a wonderful person with a positive outlook. The flowers on his casket were so bright and joyful! I agree with his granddaughter. The world could use more Maxes. Sending you a hug. ❤️

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  4. ‘live our lives with joy and spread it around’–Max had very wise words.

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  5. So inspiring! Made me smile to read about Max and his joy.

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  6. A beautiful post, Dawn. Sounds like Max made the most of his ‘one wild and precious life.’ 🙏🏼

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  7. I knew Max from Kiawanis , he was most definitely a special guy

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  8. I agree, let’s keep spreading joy and smiles as we need lots of Max’s in this world. I’m so sorry for your loss, and thank you for sharing him with us as I want to spread joy like Max!! 🤩🤗❤️

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  9. The world would be a better place if there were more people like Max spreading joy and instilling happiness, not only from smiles, but from good deeds as well. I’m sorry for your loss Dawn.

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    • Thank you. This week I’ve just been trying to be more conscious of smiling at people. It takes more effort than I thought to pay attention to other people. But I’m working on it.

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      • It’s not always easy Dawn – not everyone is receptive. I find when I am on a path or a trail at a park and you have no choice but to come face to face with someone, as you pass them by, common courtesy is to say “good morning” or “hello” but it has become a lost art as many people look the other way or down instead. I’m not looking to start a conversation, just a nod of the head or “hello” ….

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        • When I was a runner and ran at Kensington on the bike trail along the lake, especially in mornings, all runners acknowledged each other as we met going in opposite directions. Just a finger wave, or a little wave, sometimes a verbal hi as we go by. I noticed bike riders waved to other bike riders, runners waved to other runners and walkers waved to other walkers. It was kinda weird. In a nice way.

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        • See, it was just a little thing, a nicety and something often lacking these days.

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  10. My condolences Dawn. A beautiful post with a great message… it is definitely a time to be spreading joy.

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    • Yes. I haven’t figured out the best way for ME to spread joy. I am beginning to believe we’re all different. This week I tried to focus more on other people and smile at the strangers I happened to meet, even if just by walking by them. A couple of other middle (ok old) women and I have exchanged real smiles, and that felt good.

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  11. I am so sorry for your loss, Dawn. What a beautiful tribute to a man who embraced life, spread joy, and made a difference by volunteering and staying connected to people throughout and until the end. I will keep the example he set in mind. ❤

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    • I think if we all picked one thing that we could get passionate about and use that to make a bit of the world better, the aggregate of our efforts would make a huge difference.

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  12. I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful memorial, your post shares that joy and it makes me think what do I do to share my joy? I know I make a difference at school and at the food pantry, but could I do a better job other places? Thanks for encouragement to do better. Be more like Max. Peace.

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  13. Be like Max – good advice! We can all do our part to make the world a better place.

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  14. I’m so very sorry. He does indeed sound like a wonderful man. I think the coming years will be hard for us, with more people we love leaving this earth. I’m sad you had to say farewell to this one.

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